So I’ve been screwing around with experimentation since I reached the final stage of QL. I dropped Dragon because I wanted to focus on a certification exam and an internship.
Eventually, I wanted balance in my stack and decided to place my fate within the hands of God, by introducing ROS to my stack. I am currently running ROS and LE, and am awaiting my custom to arrive so that I can introduce it to the rotation soon.
By end of March I will have obtained my certification and will remove LE from my stack. As this will coincide with the month of Ramadan, ROS will stay in my rotation with the custom and perhaps I will introduce Dragon Blood once again.
One cycle later, Dragon Flight begins but a decision must be made: do I keep ROS or does it stay? Do I try a new sub, like RoB or RoM, or even the new Legacy if it comes out, alongside my custom?
Or do I return to the sub that’s been calling me for months, the sub I have avoided, the sub I repressed, the sub that I felt better on than any other sub?
Excuse after excuse is made. First, I wanted to opt for a softer alternative and tried Emperor again. Then, I heard that Emperor Black brought a similar feeling so I tried that out and fell in love with it. Emperor Black led me down an unexpected path toward the necessity for healing, which came in the form of Regeneration and then Dragon Reborn. Dragon Fire tortured me, fought me, and burned me.
Through a breakup, and a fall into the rabbit hole, I survived and began to pick up the pieces with Dragon Blood. Life happened, and I dropped my plans to accomplish the task that’s been placed in front of me, out of necessity. And then once again, my spiritual duty had to be prioritized above all.
After all of that, I am here wondering whether taking Flight will be able to work alongside a Total Breakdown. Excuse, after excuse, after excuse. Distraction after distraction, after distraction.
My first cycle of Total Breakdown really did break me down, more than I could have ever thought.
I’m making a promise now, a vow to those kind enough to read the thoughts I express here: I will return to Khan by the end of April/beginning of May (depending on how my cycle/washouts align). I will restart my journey with Khan.
I stepped through the Fire of the Dragon, I waged war with the Black Emperor of my Self and I will embrace the Total Breakdown. Nothing will stop me. My mind has been conditioned to handle a lot more than I thought previously possible, thanks to my journey through the Quantum subliminals. It is time.