Strong in body, brave from body

Dragon Reborn.
Emperor Black.

These two subliminals have combined to create to spur a whirlwind of events in my life.

I started a new life.
I began my journey as a warrior.
I embraced the darkness of my world, and eventually my own.

And then I was swallowed whole.

Now I must emerge anew, and live up to the name of this journal. My name.


I have now been put in the ultimate situation that will force me to stop my worst habit, and at the same time has motivated me to get my industry certifications now more than ever, as soon as possible.

I will be able to do this. I have no choice. If I don’t, all of my progress up to now goes to waste.

This is what going through the fire is all about. Burn.


You wanted your chance. You have it.

You wanted your opportunity. You have it.

You wanted your moment. You have it.

Don’t shy away now that you’ve gotten everything you asked for.

You wanted congruency? You have no choice now.

You can continue your lies. That will go as well as your darkest years.

You don’t want to relive that misery. You have no choice now.


I didn’t really see as much of my bodybuilding gains until recently; now that I’ve started training fighting again I can see the difference when I look at myself now training compared to before.

I am experiencing tremendous upheaval in my life currently. I am in a state of anxiety that is hard for me to calm down from, unless I dissociate completely from the world around me. After kickboxing, it’s hard for me to even find the energy to be anxious. Just don’t want to give a shit about anything really hahaha. Sure I don’t have the change of outer appearance that weight-lifting gives me, but my inner mentality and emotional state improves tenfold.

Haven’t been at this gym for too long, but there are some legit fighters here which I was surprised by. Turns out that arguably the number 1 P4P amateur MMA fighter in the country trains here, and in my weight class too.

I like how I separate myself from others because of my distinct Muay Thai style, which I haven’t seen from others so far. I see a lot of taekwondo influence, a lot of boxer-style fighters, but feel like I’m the only MT guy here. That’s good, gives me an opportunity to expose the holes of my style, and craft my game better.


My journal titles.

Starting a new life. I started a new life, changed myself completely.

The Journey Begins: Warrior. My journey towards becoming a warrior began.

Welcome to the Dark. I learned how to embrace the darkness, the solitude and I adopted it into my self.

Strong in body, brave from body. This title is structured differently. It doesn’t refer to a moment in time, it is a constant. It is not a phase, it is not a period that can be denoted, it is not an event that occurs and leads to something else.

It is with me forever. It is something that cannot be run from, it is with me forever. It is who I am, and who I must be. When my will wavers, it is there regardless. When I am confronted with fear, it still exists. It is unavoidable, it is who I am and what I must cling to, entre les vagues et le chaos.

C’est une représentation de mon bateau.

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February 1 is my last loop of Emperor Black.

Dragon Blood will stay for another cycle, but I am a bit afraid of what can happen. I’ve already experienced significant upheaval in my life on just 1 cycle alone, a 2nd cycle genuinely scares me hahaha.

I’ve reached the end of my QL journey now that I have arrived at stage 4. I can either go back to stage 3 and refine the loose threads from that period, or I can build upon QL4 via a custom. Another option that I’ve been thinking about trying is Limitless Executive as it seems like the newer versions in ZP have been improved significantly (edit: disregard, LE and LB both are in ZP2). LE is especially appealing because it kills 2 birds with 1 stone for me in the intellect/productivity regard.

I am left with 1 sub in my stack, and I am tempted to try vanilla Love Bomb if it’s in ZP2. I’ve enjoyed LBFH quite a bit so I am curious as to the differences between it and its predecessor, when applied to my life.

And not gonna lie, I definitely need some love in my life at the moment. This slot looks like a good place for me to experiment with cores that can be used in a custom in the future. I do want to try Paragon Sleep as well, so that could be another option as well in the future.


All glory belongs to God, and God alone.

I thank Him every day for the path that he’s brought me on, and the security He has brought to me. All glory to the most high.

The sky is falling, the wind is calling, stand for something or die in the morning.


I can dream again. Oh how I’ve missed these dreams.

The embrace of my best friend back in high school, in the main hallway of my grade school, was a beautiful moment I got to experience in my dream.

Thank You for that.

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I kinda want to just stop Emperor Black and QL for the moment, and make a short term gameplan.

I want to get the CCNA done by the end of February. It’s the first major cert I’ll be going for and I am intimidated to say the least.

My full concentration is devoted to the CCNA for the next month. I am ready to dive in deep.

I want to stop my stack now, and start a new stack on Wednesday, February 1. Begin February on the right note, with the following stack:

Dragon Reborn 2.
Limitless Executive.
Paragon Sleep.

I think it’s a perfect combination for what I want to accomplish, with a balanced and healthy approach. Prioritize sleep and productivity above all, while allowing Dragon to take care of the other aspects of my life that cannot be ignored because unfortunately, we cannot live in a vacuum.

Just as life is lived in a whole manner, so too must our stacks reflect that wholeness.

I am ready.

Been only going to fighting gym once a week, still haven’t found a way to organize my schedule with it and I’ve been very sick all week.

With that said, still trained on Wednesday and I threw the fastest 3 punch combo I’ve ever thrown in my entire life (just a standard cross-hook-uppercut). I got gassed soon after a few of those, but still very happy to see that my progress and skill hasn’t dropped off much, if at all.

Dude, what happened?

Do you have Paragon or the free COVID download?

I noticed if I train too much, I get ill. I generally regard it as a sign of over training.

Also, have you read, “Body by Science” by John Little and Doug McGuff… it blew my mind!

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Suspect that it’s COVID, think I caught it when I went to a part last Saturday. Definitely not a training issue.

I do have Aegis: COVID but I decided to run Paragon instead, skip over the planned washout I had in mind. This sickness is just very annoying to deal with because of the way the headaches come and go, so I want to get rid of it ASAP.

Never heard of it, I’ll download a copy now and take a peep when I have the chance to.

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Had my first good night of sleep in weeks, thanks to Paragon.

Hoping that it gets me out of this funk soon, I’d like to transition to Paragon Sleep once this illness is over with so that I can fully max out my sleep.

Really can’t wait for Utimate Programmer.

Once it’s released it’s going directly into my stack, and I may build a custom around it as well. Emperor/Stark/Ultimate Programmer seems like a potent combination tailor-made for my upcoming career.

My CV’s gone out to a few companies for internships so far. I’m excited, nervous and I truly hope that I get the chance that I’m waiting for. Doesn’t seem like much money at first, but it would be double what I’ve ever made annually, it would make me the highest-earning person in my family and I could finally help my mother with the rising living costs that have been taking an emotional toll on her.

I am so intimidated by the certification exam, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel prepared enough to take the CCNA exam. I feel like I just need to study as hard as I can and no matter what happens, I take the exam by the end of February. If I fail, I join the 95% of people that fail the CCNA on their first attempt, no biggie. If I pass, then I am set.

If I fail, I have the experience of sitting and seeing the exam and how the process works. The process becomes familiar to me and makes it so much easier the second time around, knowing that which was initially unknown.

I don’t want to waste 300 USD but at the same time, the experience would definitely not be a waste of money. I should set aside 800$ and if I do pass the exam first try, I’ll get myself a nice little gift. I know exactly what I have in mind.

Miss her.

Hate that it had to be this way.

Paragon is doing its job, as expected (it is arguably the best title offered by SC after all).

I’m hoping that I feel like I’m back to absolute 100% by my washout, scheduled to begin on February 15. And then February 20, I replace Paragon with GLM.

Who knows, if I feel better earlier I might just replace Paragon quicker. I think GLM and LE can combine for an amazing effect.


No need, I already am the one that got away.

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Who said I was talking about this :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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Enlighten me then.

Or is this just your version of “AA&SB”? :joy:

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