Soul Search - My first diary ever

I would kindly ask you to keep the subliminal reports to products from subliminalclub.

Not because SC doesn’t like competition (they do), but you are describing the effects of another product here and that doesn’t really fit, does it? :wink:

People on here are searching for effects of SC subs.

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This.

Also, be aware of the bloom/reverse bloom effect. You can read up on it in the masterclass. Finally, please avoid mixing producers - take a washout if you’re going to be switching.

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Time to get off the high horses, reality is about to hit, it’s time to face who we really are not, release the gunk and embrace our true selves, I’m ready for the earthquake, grounding and aligning myself in the zero point oneness of my being, prepare for a shock, the world is changing fast!!

I was guided to a new healing modality that goes way deeper than the subconscious mind.

As human beings evolve, technologies also evolve, and when it comes to healing technologies, there is nothing more powerful and deeply transforming than the vibration of pure existence itself, the stuff that we are made of and that makes up the entire universe, when this energy can be transmitted in its purest form and the individual blueprint, beyond the world limitations, remembered, the changes in the individual start unfolding from the very root of the being and happen fast. It’s like a script coming from the soul of creation directly input into the root matrix of my being instead of into the much more surface layer that the subconscious mind is. Pure intelligence at play, not artificial intelligence bullshit.

Realigning myself from beyond even the DNA level, which already contains compromised information.

I’m very excited and already seeing incredible progress and deep shifts in my identity .

This marks the end of my relationship with subliminal technology, I’m grateful to subclub for the part it played in my healing journey.

I’m moving on to newer grounds, deeper truths and faster progress in remembering my original awesomeness.

Peace and Love everyone.

:heart::fire::zap::rainbow::sunny:

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And I’m back!

This new healing modality I got into is actually compatible with subs and makes subs’ effectiveness even better because it clears junk and resets my self at the deepest levels, so core imbalances at the genetic levels are being cleaned up which makes the subs working on outer identity more potent as the positive suggestions can now execute even more freely.

It’s like my foundations are getting stronger and more stable so the stuff I decorate my house with can stand nicely and not fall over or get damaged.

Today listen to:

1min LB
1min Sanguine
30sec AoHJ

I’m gonna keep my sub use to very short loops and sporadic use, my true being is shining forth more and more, I’m gaining clarity and a higher perspective on my life day by day, it’s helping shift how I see myself and the world around me and helping open more potential choices, I’ve never felt so free in my life, survival mode is almost disappearing completely but now I’m left with the real difficult questions of figuring out what do I want to bring to the world, which is the same as who am I truly and what is my dream, the true dream I came here to create, the one that was buried in childhood under layers of conditionings.

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Went for my first cold bath of the year down at the fjord where I live, temperatures are rising and spring is in full bloom, icy cold feels amazing especially when the warm sun hits the skin right after, gorgeous day!

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Today

KB1 30sec
KB2 30sec
KB3 30sec

I finally installed my trampoline a few days ago and jumping everyday, it’s such a great workout, all muscles + cardio + balance/reaction time improving cognitive functions in terms of spatial awareness body + mind , all this with minimum impact on the bones and joints unlike other sports like jogging, tennis, soccer, basketball.

I’m already feeling the benefits after a few days, feeling overall stronger and more alive, more energy flow.

I just listened to the above stack and about to go for another spin on the trampoline.

The sun is now getting very toasty here in Norway, it’s only +13c but almost unbearably hot when in direct sunlight, good times!

Today listen

Sanguine 5min
HeartSong 3.5 min
AHJ 1min

HeartSong 15min

I’m feeling this so strongly for the last couple days.

I’ve done so much inner work and I’m feeling more free and clearer than ever before but there’s still a core blindspot that, even after so many different experiences I went through over the years traveling a lot living abroad in many different countries and meeting so many different people and viewpoints, I am back to being this 7 year old self that is looking at the future and has no idea what he wants to do and become.

I need to leave my rental in 45 days, I quit my job 2 months ago on a whim and I’m not going back, I’ve got little money, but there’s so many things I could do but I feel like a completely lost kid, I have so much energy and willpower but my vision and excitement is so blocked that I can’t make a move, so frustrating, I’m like a sports car gas pedal to the max but the handbrake is on and no gps!!!

In 45 days I am forced to release the handbrake and I’m worried where I’m gonna end up if I can’t figure out a proper location to drive to.

All I know is I don’t want to live in a box, I want my life to be an extension of who I am, not get a random job just out of need, from now on I want my choices to reflect my truest possible self and newest version based on what I have learnt from my experiences and not some silly old conditionings or ideas.

Time is ticking, where do I go, what do I do, I have to take it step by step and not expect everything to come at once, but this first step is hard to take, I’ve got not external attachements anymore, job, country, relationship, nothing is holding me back, I can write a brand new chapter.

A blank page in front of me, I don’t want to repeat the same old story.

A new cycle is beginning, my life is once again birthing.

No one to take my hand and guide, like a newborn that parents denied.

A grown up once again a baby, a new awakening in timeless unity.

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3.5min LB today

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Oh yes, I feel that so deeply!
Let me just make the claim that you didn’t quit your job on a whim, but because you started questioning the meaning of your work.
Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Not being put into a box is also something I struggle with from time to time—or at least something I reflect on. There are a few people around me who say I should do this or that a certain way. For example, because that’s what it says in my Human Design. Or this kind of, “I do it this way, so you should too.”

I once met someone who canceled her apartment lease without knowing where she would go next. But she trusted the process, and on the very day she moved out, she actually found a new place. She let life guide her. She was so full of trust. I admire that to this day.

I’m sharing this with you because maybe it can give you some courage and strength—even if you currently feel stuck. By the way, her financial situation was also very tight. I don’t know all the details, just what she wrote to me and shared in her Instagram stories.

Yes, the first step is always the most challenging one. The thing is: deep down we know what needs to be done. Yet something still blocks us. Something keeps the solution from rising to the surface.

I also don’t want to just do any job just because it could bring in money. On the other hand, I need money in order to get to know myself better—if you know what I mean. I’m really struggling with this, too, at the moment.

I think the key to (personal) success lies in trusting life, the universe, God (call it whatever you like). Letting everything flow. Releasing the pressure. We put so much pressure on ourselves already—and get even more from the outside world.

How are we supposed to truly live like that?

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Yes you’re right, it wasn’t just on a whim but it was this intuitive push of taking a leap of faith as you described your friend did.

I’ve been focusing on this letting go trust since then and working on clearing more and more layers of conditioning but only the last few days, as the date I need to move out approaches, I decided to have a more physical look into different options and the reality hit me hard when nothing I checked felt right and I felt the anxiety and panic of uncertainty taking over.

The thing is I experienced a similar scenario about 15 years ago and I don’t have a better answer on where to go from here, but if I look back everything sort of aligned naturally.

It was when my mother moved out to a city far away, I was 19, had quit school, no job and no money but had all my friends in that city so I decided to stay, and was homeless for about 8 months.

It was a fun experience and a little challenging at times but eventually I came across a free meditation class and had an extraordinary spiritual experience and joined this spiritual community, I suddenly had a job, place to stay and lots of friends and had the best time of my life and traveling the world for the next 10 years until I had to leave because I met my now ex gf, which was also a 6 years journey of great fun and learning.

Now I’m back to square one alone again, I don’t want to go back to the streets and I don’t want to go back to this spiritual community, I also don’t want to get any job just for the sake of surviving.

I know it’s just a matter of time before the things blocking me eventually release and my true passion and excitement is revealed but in the meantime I wish I could live a peaceful life with a roof over my head and some food and nature surrounding me.

Thank you for your answers it does help me keep my faith up and reflect deeper on my thought processes.

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After more research online I think I really want to be in a spiritual community but not strictly spiritual like the one I was in before with specific practices and teachings that everyone has to adhere to but a more grounded approach where people can practice and believe whatever way they want and connect together through shared projects and activities, work of the land producing food and other creative things and communal activities, meals together, simple real human living where everyone are just who they are without a strict religious behavior flavor that all have to adhere to but a free flow of living with a structured but flexible workflow and responsibilities.

I want to find a community that is both spiritually inclined, not too much that it’s a religion type group thinking but enough that compassion and tolerance is a natural flow and grounded, not too much that it’s all hippie drugs do whatever you want thing but enough to have balanced and sustainable social structures, sharing of resources, and respect of the individual’s uniqueness.

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Maybe you want to have a look at the
Yamagishi Movement:

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Today 4 min GLM and 5 min Regeneration.

I ran Regeneration only one cycle about 1.5 years ago and stopped because of how uncomfortable I felt.

It’s been about 2 hours since the loop and I already feel the uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexus/belly area, like a slow drilling and uncovering of wounds/stagnant energy.

This is the reason I decided to run it again, I want to face this and the way forward is through, the fact this sub brings these feelings up so quickly and directly is a good sign it’s helping.

I felt shitty all day yesterday, Regen triggering lots of recon, head fog, overwhelm, etc, I went to the sauna and felt very relaxed afterwards but still with the mental fog and overall tiredness.

I slept really well but right after waking up I felt a dark cloud of negative thoughts and feelings like I haven’t faced in a while. Because of this reason I was able to be very aware of it and tried fighting it with positive self talk which seemed to work.

Later on it sort of came back but more as general heavy despair which made me think of killing myself as a way out of the challenges I am facing in my life.

I went ahead and thought if I left this world I’d like to at least have all the dishes done for when my friend comes back from her holiday trip, when at the sink I just got curious what knife I would use and decided on a small sharp one, I went out in the garden and thought the lawn would be a good spot, it’s back to nature and the blood wouldn’t mess up the floor inside the house and the rain can clean it up naturally.

I sat down on the grass and alowly put the knife to my left wrist and felt a lot of emotion coming up which made me cry. I sat there for a while reflecting on my feelings and my life.

This is as far as I ever went with trying to end it, part of me knows too well I will never do it but I really wanted to embrace this idea and choice as far as I could to see what comes up.

I went back inside and reflected on what just happened and decided to call a hotline to have a talk with someone but no one answered probably because of the holidays.

I then decided that if I wasn’t gonna die today at least I will release some pressure by using alcohol and mariejane, I have not had either of these in many months and I thought this is the lesser evil for today

I just popped in a few delicious edibles and I have a half full bottle of Rhum at my disposal, I’m kinda excited because I’ve been so disciplined with my health for so long now it’s nice to let go a little.

I tried calling some friends to get news and get my head away from myself but no one is answering so it’ll be a solo trip and I’m hoping the mind altering substances will help me losen up my emotions and help further release, at the very least I’m gonna have a fun day.

Based on my experience I would say Regeneration is working well, maybe a little too well :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:!

After reading what I just wrote I reflect deeper and want to take some extra notes.

There’s something around being in control.

Another way to express what happened with the knife to the wrist is it results in a reset of expectations that create tension.

Adding another note:

Oh fuck I think I went too hard on the edibles, I haven’t had cannabis in a long time and forgot that shit hit hards when there’s no tolerance build up.

Oh well here we go, in for a deep dive. :cyclone:

I’m sorry to hear you are experiencing such distress.

If you are experiencing such distress, I would encourage you to contact a mental health professional and/or call a crisis line.