Seraphim’s 2024 journal

Journals - Major Programs
#121

I smoked cigarettes from age 14-31. Quit cold turkey in 2009.

This year at 45 I started vaping nicotine. Like who does that? For the longest time I had it confined to work. I’d lock the vape in my toolbox and then not touch it for days off.

Went on a fishing trip in August and bought one on the way. It tasted so good on the boat and around the cabin at night. Then a few weeks ago I really leaned on it hard. The problem was my heart rate was staying elevated. Wouldn’t drop below 70 at night. Normally it’s around 58-60 at night. Has been as low as 52-54 if I’m really relaxed. Sometimes 62 if I’m a bit wound up or overtrained but never 70.

So I quit that shit. This is day 16. I wouldn’t say I have it beat yet since I still crave it. Drink an extra coffee or 2 lately. The real test will be in another 10 days when I work night shift. Booked off the last night to get through the set a bit easier. By Boxing Day it will be day 90 and should be well on my way to having it beat by then.

Had a systematic way of quitting. Monitored the time of cravings as well as the times I puffed it and how many puffs etc. The songs I performed last weekend with one I dedicated to my dog helped with giving it up. Left myself a note saying “Ouch my Voice, I’ll Fly Away dedicated to Piper”. Left the note by the vape so I had to read it every time I reached for it.

A strong craving arouse on the way back from the retreat. Had a solo fire ceremony at home last week and burned the vape I had at home along with a journaled page of crap that I didn’t want anyone to read ever. I’ve learned through friends that have been to rehab for cocaine that the average craving lasts for 2 min. Must remain vigilant for the foreseeable future.

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#122

Oct 26: listening day 10 of 12.
DRG ST1/EmpD 15 min each. ASBR 7 min.

Not too much to report this cycle. Last days off I rested up. Avg 9 hours of sleep for 7 days. Probably the most consistent week of sleep in years. Working nights this week and not lifting during this week. Nursing a sore shoulder. Too much flat bench, will switch to decline for a month or 2. Had an acupuncture last week, didn’t find much relief so booked a massage for first day off.

Golf season is over now. Ordered 9 books which should keep my busy for a few months anyway.

Since I quit vaping I’ve been reading at work too. Re reading Dispelling Wetiko that I read during DRR1. Highlighting just as much this go around.

Have had a few smaller emotional releases running DRG1. May run DRG ST4 for last day of this cycle. Have ran a 3 min test loop of ST4 so far which resulted in strange dreams and slight increase in joy. Will go through the stages methodically otherwise.

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#123

Bought a 1 year subscription to Mind Valley last month. Currently working through a branding course and a manifestation course. There’s a Stage Presence course that is also on my radar through MV.

For the manifestation course I think DRG fits along well with it and Minds Eye will also assist it for the guided meditations/visualization practices.

Going forward stack will be primarily DRG/EmpD/ME. PR will have to wait. In the meantime I’m happy with the ‘nail her to the fucking bed’ in PN.

Tried a couple of test loops of PR and it was similar to PN in some ways. I have better flow factor with PN for now. Also DRG ST1 I suspect took the bulk of the processing during the test. Will retest with DRG3/4 in another couple of cycles.

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#124

Oct 28 sub day 11 of 12

DRG1 3 min, EMPD 5 min, Minds Eye 7 min. Booked off the last 2 night shifts for this set due to fatigue. Last 2 days had 3 hours of sleep. Much prefer to take the financial hit and preserve my energy. Already booked the last one off and came in tonight and booked an extra off on short notice. Gave supervisor the choice of vacay or sick day.

I notice on nights I am able to manage my energy and even feel on fire at times but the cognitive abilities deteriorate. The first 3 nights I read 30 pages of a tough read on breaks. Last night only 10.

Went to toastmasters last week and paid the fees for the rest of the school year. Will commit to giving ice breaker speech in November. Don’t have a speech crafted yet but have a couple ideas.

Also did first vocal lesson last week. Listened to my voice recording singing and I sounded nervous. Trying too hard to impress the teacher perhaps. Recorded a short clip yesterday of the same tune and sounded way better so sent it to the teacher. Will commit to 3 more lessons for now.

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#125

I’ve toyed with the idea of taking a Sabbatical recently. My self managed accounts are off limits for now. I do have some rrsp/mutual funds that I could pull to fund all of 2025.

The deal with RRSP’s is similar to a 401K in that you get taxed on the income you take out. To cash out 100k while making 100k isn’t prudent as it’s a large tax hit. To take the year off and cash out 100k would be the same tax you pay while working.

My self managed accounts I target >20%. Mutual funds I find average 4-5% over time with the odd breakout year. Keep up with real world inflation at best.

To think that it’s going to 10x by retirement is a pipe dream. I’d get more value out of it by funding a mini retirement in the not too distant future and/or using a chunk to invest in some marketable high ROÍ skills.

Seems I’ve healed some money beliefs recently and I’m not holding my breath for EOG to drop nor do I feel the need to run EOG ST1 for 6-12 months. Will probably run it again down the road but it’s not a priority atm.

In a sleep deprived slight recon state is not the time to be making these decisions but will reach out to my accountant to grab a lunch in the next while to bounce some ideas off of.

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#126

Oct 29. Sub rest day… HOM 5 min M.E. 3 min.

1st day off coming off nights. Went to the steam room and cruised around while practicing present moment awareness.

Came across 2 quotes by Tai Lopez that I absolutely love.

  1. The money is in learning things that the average person is too lazy to learn.

  2. The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

#2 hits home regarding vaping. Today is day 32 without and I still crave it, especially that first night shift. Good thing I burnt the 2 I had in my toolbox in the fire ceremony as I would have most likely caved had they been in my box last week.

Motherfucker that vice sure snuck up on me. Especially when they tasted so good especially vanilla classic. Must remain vigilant even more so when fatigued.

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#127

I haven’t vaped so I don’t know the taste. But is the taste similar to having vanilla ice cream?

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#128

More like a Vanilla Coke. Not a fan of vanilla ice cream. Chocolate all the way

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#129

Oct 30 last day of cycle: DRG ST4/EMP-D 7 min each.

Next cycle beginning Nov 5 will be DRG ST2/EMP-D/Minds Eye.

Edit: 2 hours later. 7 min of PR. Difficult conversation incoming. Today or tomorrow, been putting it off.

Now washout starts. Will do experimental short test loops of HOM/DD prior to toastmasters the evening before start of next cycle.

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#130

Yeah baby! Chocolate’s my flavor toooooo! No matter if it is a milkshake, cake, bar, croissant, ice-cream…

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#131

I’d like to edit the spelling on my username and seem unable to do that. Can you point me in the right direction? @Lion

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#132

Put a forum name change request in the following thread and tag RVconsultant:

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#133

@Dantes @Serafim Please tag me on the name change thread with what you want to change it to.

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#134

Fixed it for you @RVconsultant

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#135

Back in 2021 I bought 100 shares of XOM for 44. Sold it one the way up at 85. Sold too early yes but still made a great return in a short time.

While I owned the shares I got dividends paid out and auto re-invested. Had 6 shares basically for free. Sold 100 at 85 and kept the other 6. Last month I decided to sell the remaining 6 for $120. Basically got a bonus 700+ for holding the shares on the way up.

After selling for 120 it then climbed to 126 and now around 115. Although my timing wasn’t perfect im quite happy with the result overall.

Edit: Nov 2. Reading XOM earnings call and it mentions that they increased the dividend from .95 to .99. Must have been a bogus headline regarding the dividend cut from .95-.60. Have deleted that paragraph from this post.

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#136

Might as well post my Friday trades going forward. For the month of November at least.

Disclaimer: This is not investing advice this is purely for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is everyone’s responsibility to do their own research and due diligence.

Friday nov1. Roll 1 MARA 17.5 Call from Nov 1-nov29. 28 DTE(days to expiration). Total NC(Net Credit or cash after commissions) $179.59.

Friday Nov 1 Sell 1 MARA 15 Put Nov 29 contract. 28 DTE. NC $92.43. Stock trading at 17.30.

Total NC $272.02 USD. Total risk capital $2979.98 for 28 day contracts.

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#137

Here’s my KWLM scores.

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IMG_3114828×1792 160 KB

Fullness of Warrior, Lover, and Magician. King energy tilts towards the tyrant according to this, better than being a weakling. Perhaps DRG in the later stages can adjust this more towards fullness. Highest score was Magician.

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#138

Solo mushroom trip last night. Was out playing some pool and instead of staying out all night partying I decided to take the shrooms and get to work on a stubborn subconscious structure.

I have this mental block and big time resistance to working night shifts. So I wrote the question

“What is my biggest hang up or mental block regarding N/S?”

The first page of journaling was a dark rant which won’t get repeated here. That darkness was inside of me, the veil was thin enough combined with the desire to make the unconscious conscious.

Then I pivoted to asking “What am I feeling right now?” After more and more self inquiry I finally discovered that the mind has constructed an idea that in order the feel 100% I have to be on the tail end of a 3 week vacation which I take twice a year.

Then I said “So I only allow myself to officially get to 100% twice a fucking year?” That’s fuckin bullshit and then the laughter started. It started well before that but another wave came along with the joy of being able to see the mental prison that the mind had created, the long list of conditions to happen before I can say I’m 100%.

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#139

Couple of quotes I came across in recent reading.

“When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m thirsty, I drink. When I’m tired, I rest—flowing with the Tao, or natural way, relating to each moment as it comes, without added complications.” From Peaceful Heart Warrior Spirit book.

“Work on your weaknesses until they’re no longer liabilities. Work on your strengths until they alone can carry you. Remember: The difficulty of a task is irrelevant if it’s vital to your success. Your feelings about a necessary skill whether positive or negative—shouldn’t affect the energy you invest in Mastering it.” From Ed Latimore email discussing Musashi.

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#140

Nov 5 new cycle day 1 listening day 1 of 12
DRG ST2/EmpD 7 min each. HOM 4 min. May cycle in Minds Eye and ASBR as the 3rd sub the odd day. Since ME is on deck for an upgrade will probably wait till then.

Have decided to narrow my focus and focus mainly on my investing for the next while now that golf season is over.

Had trouble getting off night shift this last go around. Was starting to go off the rails and seriously contemplated quitting my job outright without a plan haha.

Signed up for another investing course to accelerate my portfolio growth. I needed a worthy goal to focus on with a structured strategy. I have been following this guy for a few years now and his predictions while not deadly accurate, they are accurate enough to earn some credibility.

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