I posted an introduction asking for help and very quickly got unanimous advice to run Ascension and Primal. So I’ve bought them and am starting this journal to share my experiences.
Thank you Palpatine, Sage_Ninjistic, Dragon-Lesson, Beowulf, Yazooneh and ksub for the advice and words of support. (I can’t @mention everyone because I’m a new user)
Introduction
I read a few threads here and the support articles on the main site, and it seems like the overall philosophy is to keep the subliminals simple and focused, journal consistently, and take action.
Thanks to everyone’s help, I was able to keep my decision simple by asking and trusting more experienced people. I’ve kept the schedule simple by choosing only two subliminals. And I haven’t read the product details or read any ascension/primal journals in order to keep my expectations at absolutely zero and my focus on executing as strong as possible. I always overthink and insist on doing things my own way, so I’m going for a completely opposite approach here.
I’ve decided to use the masked format of Ascension ZP v2 and Primal ZP Experimental. I picked the experimental for Primal because it seemed like the newer version between it and “latest”. The naming for the files was seriously confusing so I just used the file creation dates. Please correct me if I’m wrong.
I’m going to listen primarily with headphones. I have basic wired apple earpods and I’ve ordered the exact AKG K240 Pro model (not mk II) as recommended in the support section of the main site. I’m not doing anything my way and will just blindly and exactly follow what everyone has told me.
To reiterate from my introduction:
I’m 30, have $10.5k worth of debt, stuck in a cold ass dying city in Japan that I really don’t like, doing work that I don’t give a shit about and that in a way actively goes against my goals and personal feelings, not making much money, dying of thirst from a major sexual drought, feeling a pit of loneliness inside of me that just gets bigger with time, and feeling like a completely worthless loser. Considering my situation when I came to Japan just a few years ago… I couldn’t dream of a worse situation, relatively speaking of course. Ultimately, my quality of life is actually good considering my problems, my health is good, I’m still making daily progress on my original goal to learn Japanese, and I still do feel like I can find turn things around. Just the way I’m living, thinking, making decisions, etc. has been atrocious and I feel like I’m just self-destructing here.
What I’m currently doing:
I’m working on building myself some income through what’s basically an online sales and marketing job for the “school” (company) that I work for. I really respect the owner and want to help grow the business, and of course I want to make money for myself in the process. So I’m helping them establish some marketing channels and learn how to expand the business online, and in return I get residuals from all students that we get. I was completely naive and thought this would be easier to get started than it has turned out to be. On top of that, it’s not my business and the numbers are pretty small, so if I was even able to replace my (low) salary with money coming from this system that would be an unbelievably huge win.
So I’m at the point where I’ve established most of what I need to and from here it’s a matter of executing and tweaking things over time to see if we can get some results.
I’m completely stuck otherwise on what to do from here and I hope I can figure it out.
I’m also lonely, sexually frustrated, and really don’t even feel like a human being some days. I can’t remember the last time I got an authentic hug from someone.
Given my experience in this current city so far, especially with COVID, I don’t have much hope in this changing. But I’m here doing these subliminals because I want to believe I can find a way right here where I am even despite my problems, my beliefs, and the demographics here.
I want to really keep my mind clear of expectations, so I’m going to be really selfish at first and not participate in other people’s journals for ~6 months. The community here seems amazing so I want to be able to give back and share the love if I can too. @Beowulf recommended a time frame of 6-12 months, so I think I’ll focus on getting into rhythm for the first half of that and then start participating in other threads.