Great Results so far.
フォワード
2 Likes
Thanks for the ideas. I’m on a mac but basically all computers have this functionality so this strategy still applies. I know too much about computers and my mind traps too much information for me to fool myself with this kind of stuff. It really boils down to my own ability to deny myself (hard for me to do) so I think that’s why the environment change and literally just keeping the computer out of it has been so effective. It seems that nights and mornings are particularly important… if I’m able to mentally wind down at night and then study ASAP when I get up, my mind is able to settle in for the day. So far this week I’ve had no problems. I think, even temporarily, I’m awake to just how much I’ve hurt myself and my own growth with my shitty habits and self control so I’m just going to stay aware, stay journaling, and do my best. Having accountability in this thread seems to make a HUGE difference too. You always check in on me so I don’t want to mess around 
1 Like
Much appreciated. Not seeing any results, but then again I’m not really thinking about results either! Which is a good sign!
2023-02-28T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- Vocab review (23 minutes) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji study (1hr 50 minutes) (kanji kentei level 7)
- Marketing (non-teaching money)
- Unassisted squat hold, 16 minutes @ level 3 (physical health)
Observations/Thoughts:
My life will become kanji for the next year and more. Reviewing vocab is super quick and won’t burden me at all going forward. I was planning on two hours total, one hour for jlpt (vocab, reading, grammar) drilling and then one hour for kanji. But after doing kanji today it seems like I’ll either have to only do one type of drill for ~15 minutes and then spend the rest of the time on kanji, OR increase my study time to 3 hours. I don’t want to increase my study time to 3 hours if possible, because I’m trying to find a rhythm that is both effective and something I will definitely sit down to do every day regardless of how busy my schedule is or what’s going on. This work needs absolute consistency and that’s way way way more important than trying to force an extra hour. So I’m going to stay at 2 hours right now and compromise on the other jlpt stuff since I can do some extra drilling on the weekends if I need to. I need to get my body used to sitting down daily and focusing on kanji, because now that I’m clear to focus on it, I’m not going to stop until I’ve finished this test series. And there’s a lot fucking characters to get through.
The season is starting to change, so I know with that comes an upswing in mood, much more energy, and a better lifestyle for me. Typically it’s still cold (to me) through even June, but I think this year is going to be much warmer than normal and I’m really looking forward to that.
I’m undoubtedly feeling calmer and more confident at work and working at my own pace, more comfortable with trying to sell myself or my ideas through the marketing we’re doing, and… idk how to describe it – just being on my own side for once. It’s a good feeling and I hope this means I’m finally starting to grow up if even just a little bit.
On paper I’m in the worst situation of my life but I just have a strange confidence now about what I’m doing. Of course there are still no big results, but the latest move I’ve made really fits well with what I’m doing and the vision I have for this project. I have a strong sense of intuition but I often ignore it to my detriment. I’ve always known that I should trust it more, but maybe only half the time would I actually do so. The massive self-doubt that usually cuts into this intuition is starting to shrink away, and I’m finding it easier to just go off of my intuition more and that it’s actually working out really well and enabling me to feel more like “myself”. I’m starting to really not care if I’m wrong and trust that I should basically always follow it despite the outcome. Taking action this past year has also really helped, because I’ve slowly developed the ability to show up and do things, and I’ve seen the results and how things can come together nicely over time. So it’s served as proof that the ideas in my mind are not all bad. Ultimately I’m doing this for money, and based on that metric I’m completely failing. But in terms of the vision I have and feeling like I can actually get there – I’ve never been closer to the result as I am now. The last piece is the website upgrade that stalled out, and that’s coming next.
Some notes I wrote down:
- was working on some social media with boss, a woman, and unconsciously stopped to check out this girl’s ass as we were scrolling through. boss gave me the “もう… why are you stopping here on this part [showing this girl’s butt]?” and immediately, without thinking, I told her while laughing, “what do you expect me to do?? not stop?” completely owned it and kept the situation light. I would normally apologize, feel shame, or try to avoid/excuse my way out of it – especially because it’s at work. my reaction really surprised me, and I was surprised not even an ounce of shame came up. seriously not even one drop. weird! I don’t want to repeat that behavior because it is work at the end of the day, but I’m a bit happy with myself too to be honest. I didn’t seek anything out, it just came and my instincts told me to have a peek. I’m a guy… no harm no foul. didn’t say anything rude, didn’t do anything weird, just reflexively stopped. What’s the problem with that??? Why are all the shirtless boxer brief muscle guys spamming “progress pictures” funny to laugh about and notice as we’re scrolling through, but what I like is a problem??? fuck that.
3 Likes
I think it’s quite clear from your journal entries that you’re making really decent progress so far. Doing things that would have made you mildly fearful/anxious, a look from a lady that looks different than what you usually experience, doing things that are slightly out of the ordinary are results - even if it seems minor. For a first cycle this is really good! Beginner’s mistake is to set too high of a bar of what counts as a “result”. This article explains this further:-
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First, results are small, sometimes a bit insignificant — like, catching a person you find attractive who normally wouldn’t pay you any attention staring a bit longer than normal and flashing a smile.
Fair enough!!!
2023-03-01T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- 2 loops
- Vocab review (19 minutes) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji study (2hrs 2min) (kanji kentei 7)
- Marketing (non-teaching money)
- Unassisted squat hold, 17 minutes @ level 3 (physical health)
- James Clear Day 3 (schedule the habit): I will check my meal plan for the upcoming week every Sunday after I study.
Observations/Thoughts:
Still working through the food thing. This month after bills and paying down some of the cc debt, I have so little money it’s not even funny. I’ve never been this broke in my life 
The meal kit service that I found that could solve my vegetable intake and greatly lessen decision fatigue doesn’t deliver up here. I’ll search harder at the supermarket and see if there’s anything I’ve missed or other ways I can handle this problem. With things finally melting, it won’t be as much of a burden to walk all the way over there twice a week to get food. I’m too poor now to buy the meat I wanted, so I’m going to eat chicken, tuna and pork basically this whole month. 
I’ve got 100% vegetable juice coming, and I know from experience that it helps me feel better so at least that’s a plus. The ones coming are supposed to be a bit better than the ones found in stores so we’ll see. If they aren’t much different in reality, I’ll buy cases of the ones I usually drink and save myself the daily trouble, plus get a better handle on how much I’m actually spending on it per month.
Some notes I wrote down:
- Feeling good today overall
- plan for 9 hours of sleep every night
- it’s finally starting to melt, soon my season is coming. I can start jogging again too
- meal kit service doesn’t deliver up north… fucking hate this place
- time to stop being lazy and figure something else out. with the snow and ice gone it will be way easier to walk to the supermarket again anyway
2 Likes
2023-03-02T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- Vocab review (20 min) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji （1h 30min) (kanji kentei 7)
- Marketing (non-teaching money)
- Unassisted squat hold, 18 min @ level 3 (physical health)
- James Clear Day 4 (environmental design): Print meal plan and put it on the wall in front of my desk.
Observations/Thoughts:
Went to the supermarket today. Thankfully the ice has mostly melted so walking all the way there isn’t so dangerous and hard anymore. I found some premade kits for vegetables to use in soup and curry, the usual pre-mixed salad bags, and I realized that I should try frozen vegetables! There’s a good variety of greens and vegetables that I can keep frozen and simply boil or sautee when I’m ready to eat. I can just buy one of each type and maybe do a bag a day + the vegetable juice and that should cover me enough. It’s way better than not eating vegetables, and way more convenient than managing fresh produce. Can’t believe I didn’t think to do it before. I’ve never been one for frozen food, but frozen food isn’t so bad over here AND I hear frozen vegetables in particular aren’t bad if they’re frozen correctly. So as long as I stock the freezer properly, I don’t have to decide anything. Just grab a bag for the day, cook and eat it. Done. Besides having to cook it myself, 90% of the annoyance is solved for me. So I bought all of that to see how much it would cost on average, and so that I can start to eat them daily and make sure this is something I can do consistently with minimal effort. It’s not important to gaining weight or anything, but super important for my health and digestion. So it’s important that I get this step correct before layering on the macros and managing that part. The closer to automatic, the better.
Really happy about that.
2023-03-03T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- Vocab review (13:56) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji (1hr 14min) (kanji kentei 7)
- 2 loops
- Marketing (non-teaching money)
- Unassisted squat hold, 19 min @ level 3 (physical health)
Observations/Thoughts:
Today was pretty busy and I’m proud of myself for the work I did. Executed the best I possibly could and got what needed to get done, done. Still a bit of work left to do for the day actually – but mostly done for the week. I never understood why or how people could be addicted to working. And I still don’t. BUT. I’m starting to really like the feeling of developing something in my mind, creating it slowly but surely out of nothing, showing it and getting some approval, and then directly giving it or serving it to people who clearly appreciate it. What I’m doing here is nothing special, but I get a strong dose of satisfaction when someone has a really good reaction to the work I’ve done, or participates in something I’ve created and told them about. It’s something I’ve never had in my work before, really. Food for thought.
2023-03-04T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- Vocab review (15:17) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji (forgot to time it) (kanji kentei 7)
- Unassisted squat hold, 20 min @ level 3 (physical health)
I spent most of the day doing meal planning, and I have developed a great strategy: easy to make breakfast (rotation of eggs, bacon, sausage, greek yogurt, fruit, etc.) + the same meal for lunch and dinner. Some days I won’t even have to cook breakfast, and the bigger meals I can just cook once and eat twice. This greatly cuts down on the amount of cooking I have to do and makes meal planning itself way simpler. I won’t get tired of eating the same meal twice in a day, and I can more easily get a feeling of variety over the course of the week, because every day is still different. Prep/defrost/rice cooker/sous vide/grill/fry/etc ONE time per day. Clean up basically ONE time per day. Profit 
Frozen vegetables means I don’t have to worry about produce going bad and cuts out extra prep and cleanup. I decided to buy the meats from my go-to online store after all, so that saves me a lot of time too.
Going to a physical store now involves buying only the small items that are best fresh and that I’ll consume quickly – bread, fruit, salad – and the other stuff like rice and pasta can be bought in bulk and kept quite easily. So shopping becomes simpler too! I’ve got the vegetable juice coming tomorrow, so between that and the bag of veggies a day, I can be confident I’m getting some good micronutrients.
I need to verify some stuff in the store to make sure my numbers are accurate, and then I’ll buy tomorrow and finally get back to the gym this week. Updating my meal plan will become simply swapping out “days”, and each day is essentially one type of animal protein + protein powder so it’ll be much easier to find new ideas and make sure I don’t get bored eating the same foods. Easier to focus and execute. Except for the price, I can’t see a downside!
Observations/Thoughts:
It was hard as fuck to do kanji today. Part of why I forgot to time it was because I was really preoccupied with just getting through it. I prioritized meal planning and it literally took me all day to get through it. So I started studying at night – big mistake, and I know it. But I had to get the food thing settled. I was tempted to push it off for tomorrow but decided to battle that laziness and get it done today. It was hard but worth it.
2023-03-05T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- 2 loops
- Vocab review (8:18) (JLPT N1)
- Kanji (1hr 44 min) (kanji kentei 7)
- James Clear Day 5 (make meal planning automatic/remove friction)
I finalized the meal plan, ordered my meat, and printed out the meal plans by day. Saturday is a planned cheat meal that may turn into a cheat day, because Saturday is the least predictable work day that I have, and I usually go out to eat afterwards anyway. I’ve planned to get ~70% of the protein and 2/3 carbs via sandwiches, but I’m not going to be bothered too much if that doesn’t work out exactly how I need it to. The whole day is basically out of my hands.
I thought I would post the meal plans themselves on the wall but I’m going to put them on my calendar that’s already there instead. It has three lines for notes per day, and I use one currently for the loops. The other two spaces will be my weight and the meal plan for the day (A-F, and Saturday). I’m going to check weekly to make sure I have the ingredients, and shop twice for stuff that has a short lifespan. Also if I’m starting to feel tired of something, it’s a good opportunity to make a new meal day or two so I can swap it out for the next month. I’m going to check my average weight bi-weekly and adjust macros (mainly carbs) if needed, but I’d like to make big changes by month to keep it simple. By having the meal plans printed, they’re 1) locked in and 2) I remove one reason to check my phone or computer.
Observations/Thoughts:
I’m already on the right track with how I’m approaching my meal planning this time around, so Day 5 of James Clear’s course was over before it started! I really hope I nail it this time because this is the thing that keeps me back from progressing at the gym. 
I’ve spent a lot of this weekend on the computer due to meal planning, buying, researching, and watching soccer (we got wrecked by Liverpool today, god damn…) and while I’m happy that I finally have something that seems like an actually sustainable system, I’d rather just use the computer in the morning for studying and then lock it away for the day. Last weekend was so glorious. I’m going for a big reset this month so I can get my mind and body back on track. Once this food and training is rolling, the last major pieces will be what to do for money outside of my teaching job and sales project at work, and dating/sex. But for now, like I said before, any coding, any work in general, any “research” or information gathering, is done at work, during working hours. I want to create a clear divide between work/stimulation and private/no stimulation and open up some space for myself as well as give my mind a chance to rest. I’ve been getting some pretty creative ideas lately, and seeing obvious solutions that I just never thought of before, and I think it’s partly due to this divide that I’m in the process of setting up.
Speaking of dating, other than the money that I just really don’t have right now, I’m very tempted to set up some profiles and at least get back into something. I’m thinking of waiting until May when COVID “ends” to give myself time to get back into some good habits and save up a little money that I can use to buy clothes and be a person again. But unholy saint is telling me fuck all of that, go buy the services and jump into it right meow.
I wonder how things will be when it’s normal to see what someone looks like again… 
1 Like
2023-03-06T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- Vocab review
- Kanji
- Marketing (non-teaching money)
- Unassisted squat hold, 22 minutes @ level 3 (physical health) [forgot to add it in yesterday’s log, but I did 21 minutes yesterday]
Observations/Thoughts:
OK day today. Nothing special, no complaints. In terms of this marketing project, I thought about setting a goal for this year to match my current teaching salary with monthly residuals. Since it’s not my business, I don’t want to share numbers, but I realized that in the worst case scenario I would have to recruit 168 students, 116 in the best case. That’s a lot of students. I’ve only gotten 1 so far. I don’t mind continuing the work I’ve been doing because by its nature it takes a bit of time to get the ball rolling and actually tell whether it “works” or not. Also, I think COVID ending will open things up for students who want to come in-person. I want to work on this for a full year, but I think I should be working on one more thing or job hunting in parallel to this because I really really really really really don’t want to teach past September when my contract is up for renewal. Tired of talking to old people and teenagers all day, and I’m fucking tired of the eternal winter here.
Some notes I wrote down:
- are my actions leading me to what I say I want?
- If I say I want sex, why am I not doing anything right now? i should at least get on the apps, and be patient. hit them slow and steady, and just get back to interacting with girls on some level
- maybe going back to programming isn’t so bad. maybe my block is regarding web, but if i try other things i might find some interest in it again. i did like developing on ios with swiftui but couldn’t finish it because of my equipment. can i rent a server/hardware since i can’t afford to buy a higher spec’d machine? or are there other things completely different that i can expose myself to? how?
- if I hate the cold, why am I here? find the sunniest or warmest places in Japan and focus on getting there or at least checking them out. i think as long as i’m in mainland or kyushu then i know what to expect. winters are still cold but not as long and barely any snow in many places, so if i focus on finding areas that are very sunny, that might help with my mood, health (vitamin d deficiency), energy levels, etc.
- if i start job searching, don’t do it blindly. focus on the mission of the company. focus on the types of people i’ll be working with. focus on the products that i’ll be working on. pick a job that gives more responsibility and autonomy. i do better when i have responsibility and tend to be extremely lazy when i don’t. just going somewhere for a paycheck won’t solve this issue for me, but i need that paycheck
- squatting is getting intense! i can feel the strengthening happening in the right areas of my ankles and legs. they’re very sore these days though. i want to take a day or two off when i hit 30 minutes. keep pushing!
1 Like
2023-03-07T15:00:00Z
Things I did:
- 1 Loop of LBFH
- Vocab review (JLPT N1)
- Kanji (kanji kentei level 7)
- Marketing (1/168 students recruited)
- Unassisted squat hold, 23 minutes @ level 3 (physical health)
Observations/Thoughts:
@Billions gave a strong endorsement for running Love Bomb in my introduction thread. I wanted to discuss it a bit more to understand why, but in the meantime I decided to just go ahead and run it in this very cycle since he was the third person to recommend it, and he went out of his way to say it on an old post. So I’m changing to the less brainless 2-1-2 listening schedule with ascension and primal on one day and LBFH on the second day.
I didn’t feel any happiness. In fact, I felt a mixture of extreme irritation, disgust, anger, and had a mild headache and short temper today. Even my boss asked me if I was OK at the end of the day. I was so close to losing my composure and telling her I wanted out. This outburst sums it up:
I feel super irritated today. I listened to LBFH but I didn’t feel anything like happiness or love for anything. I don’t want to do this job anymore. But when I browse job postings for software jobs, I don’t feel any sense of excitement, interest, ambition — nothing. I already promised myself I wouldn’t make any big decisions for this month while I detox from all work, code, projects, etc. outside of my current jobs, so I’m trying not to think about it and observe what feelings come up. But what the fuck is wrong with me. A student in a class of two announced that she was quitting next month and I internally celebrated because if it dropped to 1 member there would be a strong likelihood that the class would be canceled and my schedule would free up. Then found out immediately after that a new student is coming in for a trial next week. What in the fuck kind of timing is this? And what kind of attitude is this to have as a teacher? What in the hell is going on?? I FUCKING HATE THIS PLACE. GET MONEY AND GET THE FUCK OUT.
Some notes I wrote down:
- head feels… fuzzy and fatigued
Fucking hell…
2 Likes
Whew, my man it sounds like you’re going through recon. 
Love Bomb for Humanity is doing a number on ya. Consider reducing it to 3 minutes for your next loop to reduce the intensity.
This is normal since unlike the other two titles you previously ran, LBFH is a healing title. You will eventually feel those feelings of love but you likely will go through a period of healing first - which may involve feelings like you just experienced today.
1 Like
THIS is recon?? Damn it sucks 
Woke up stupid early today and feeling mostly normal again. As long as I don’t do anything too extreme, I’ll take the pain if it means something is happening.
1 Like
Yes.
You’re in an extreme amount of pain in your life which is why I recommended LBFH.
The amount of recon you’re experiencing is PROOF THAT THIS IS THE SUB YOU NEED!!!
So don’t be discouraged. High recon means high results. Results are just sometimes earned through blood sweat and recon.
But since it’s affecting you so powerfully, feel free to listen to 3 minutes of the sub instead of 15. You will still find it extremely effective
And consider a 2-2-1 schedule with your LBFH loop happening every Friday night, so that you can take the weekend to deal with recon gracefully over the weekend instead of dealing with recon at work.
Monday: Primal/Ascension @ 3-15 mins
Wednesday:Primal/Ascension @ 3-15 mins
Friday: LBFH @ 3 mins
Tue/thur/weekends: rest & go for a walk to integrate
4 Likes
Just curious, have you looked into chosen at all? It might help you more than primal at this stage.
Chosen is about positivity within and externally. It’s about feeling amazing and being an inspiring communicator that uplifts others as a result of your own inner passion for life. Think about how powerful that will be for your teaching career, until you do quit. Think of how powerful that will be for your sense of happiness if you love life and people love talking to you. Think of how powerful that would be for your seduction/dating life if you’re a beacon of positivity that everybody wants to be around and open up and share their soul to.
If you build a base with Ascension, Chosen, and LBFH, you will have an extremely strong inner core. Your career and financial situation will change rapidly. Your personal confidence will skyrocket. You’ll be happy within yourself and share that positivity with others.
Women are attracted to THAT oftentimes more than they’re attracted to a man that’s rich and depressed and sexual. THAT is the foundation of a man successful with women and life.
So if you build that foundation first, you’ll already have the basis needed for true sexual attraction with women.
Then, primal will exponentially multiply the sexual foundation you have, and turn that potential into results.
For now, you might not be ready to fall into a relationship or friends with benefit type thing, so maybe chosen before primal will get you faster results at this time.
Right now I would build my inner core more before expressing it externally through direct sexual development it if I were you. You’ll have a chance to express your positivity every day, so your results on chosen will be rapid. But your results on primal may stagnate if you don’t have opportunities to be sexual on a daily basis
3 Likes
A part of self love is knowing what’s for you and what’s not for you and discarding it.
It seems to me like LBFH is working on you just as intended.
2 Likes
Billions, thanks for following up. It seems like your suggestion was spot-on. Thank you very much. Like I said, I have no problem going through any pain if it means something is working or changing. No worries there! I’d rather keep to the official guidelines as much as possible, so I’ll deal with it.
I haven’t looked into other subliminals or their product pages very closely because I’m trying to stay focused. I haven’t even read the pages for ascension and primal. That’s why I wanted other people to essentially tell me what to run so I could just focus on running the programs without switching. I was told to run primal/ascension for 6 months - 1 year, so I figured I would wait until after I got stuck in to start contributing to other people’s journals and see what all else is going on. I fall prey to temptation and shiny object syndrome quite easily.
I’ll be honest; my first reaction when reading this was “why the fuck would I want that?”…
…but I can’t argue with this logic, and I very clearly do NOT have anything sexual going on right now.
I don’t know what to think about this. I’d really like to continue with what I was recommended by a good number of experienced people. I have no reason to doubt them and I’m not interested in switching around. But seeing my response to LBFH compared to the other two programs, you have me opened to the possibility that what you’re saying about Chosen is fitting too. From your posts, I’ve realized that I’m not very comfortable with the idea of being positive and friendly as a default state. And I can’t really articulate why that is.
I’ve never liked people who were smiley and cheerful all the time because they often turned out to be slimy manipulative pricks. In my own family, social circles, at school, at work – I’ve found that the “good communicators” are exactly good at communication because all they do is talk. And they won’t ever shut the fuck up. By definition that’s how one becomes good at communication. All of these “empaths” and “leaders” with “high emotional IQ” tend say the right things, but when you look at what they actually do, a lot of times there’s a huuuuuge disconnect. I’ve been disappointed so many times that I eventually stopped worrying about what people say or how nice/positive they seem and just pay attention to their actions. I guess that’s part of my image based on what you’re saying with Chosen, and I don’t want to become that.
I also don’t particularly care about inspiring others, but maybe that’s a shit attitude on my part that needs to be dissolved.
@Billions, you’ve already shared a lot of valuable insight, but I must ask – do you have any final words based on what I told you?
Can anybody else weigh in with an opinion? I really don’t want to switch subs and I want to stay firm in my commitment. But I also don’t want to blindly ignore potentially life-changing advice either just for the sake of principles.
I’m not the expert here, so I really have no clue how to make a decision on this one.
1 Like
But if I discard everything, I’ll be left with nothing Maybe it’s the “job” part and not the skill itself.
This is surprisingly thought-provoking, thanks for your comment ksub.
1 Like