Riding the Spiral til the End 🌀

[TheEmpress]

I sat here thinking “of course I’ve got this.”

I started remembering all the work I’ve done along the way from quite a young age in this life time. I feel lucky and blessed for all the early exposure I had.

I started reaffirming the personal development journey I’ve been on since 14 being the youngest in a teen mentor program. I had to sign a contract and work my butt off to move on my own independently at 17! I saved up money fast. Bought my first car with cash. I always seemed to figure stuff out. Even in the midst of chaos and sometimes extreme danger. I calmed storms. I created storms.

People always called me ambitious and an inspiration. People learned from me. I’ve been called an encyclopedia many times. I’ve been called a guidance counselor. This still applies.

I always manifested things very quickly, good and bad. (If we’re going with a dualistic approach.)
It’s really all good because it all came from the creator, me. I always got what I asked for. I always get what I want. Now I’m just more conscious and going deeper into my being. Subliminals opened so many doors in my Mind. I’m glad I didn’t allow the ignorance of others to stop me from this journey.

There’s no reason I cant do what I want to do. I just have to get crystal clear on my vision going forward. Once clear, it’ll happen. It’s already done. Infinite possibilities readily accessible.

I see how the body gets addicted to suffering and the mind too when they aren’t in harmony with each other. The heart is wise. I’ve been connecting more with my heart lately. It feels so much lighter. I carried so much weight for so long.

I’m a highly sensitive soul with extreme empathy. I have 5 water signs and 4 fire signs in my astrology chart. I’ve felt the physical pain of others. If not careful I shapeshifted into being like others. I used to think I was seriously crazy when studying personality disorders and other disorders of the mind in college. I excelled in those classes. I started experiencing very supernatural stuff at that time. I went into a dark night of the soul. Not the first one either. I coped with various substances but now I’m completely sober from mind altering substances.

I feel free

Now I am doing my best to not keep the story going of having to be careful of shapeshifting or taking on other peoples stuff. My lower chakras are balanced and clear. I am safe. I am not open to being harmed anymore. No more contraction. More expansion.

I’m here to add value. My stories of life experiences are definitely valuable, but I also want to share the ways to rise above that.

Let go of the old stories that keep you stuck. The familiarity of disempowerment. Stop waiting to be saved. Save yourself.

Here’s a photo of me in 2007 a couple days after a NDE. I went down a very deep spiritual awakening to follow….

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

Foo Fighters - Home (Nissan Live Sets At Yahoo! Music)

Such a beautiful song. Sitting here reflecting while shedding a few graceful tears.

When things would feel good or becoming something better or different for me, I would unconsciously sabotage it.

Oh, I feel good, I better fuck that up!

Feeing good may be uncomfortable when you weren’t used to that for so long.

Not anymore though. It’s becoming a new norm.

No more finding comfort in the pain. Find comfort in the pleasure.

I think I’m gonna do a video on this subject.

Edit: && I did just that. Fast action.

[TheEmpress]

Why do I share old facts of my life experiences?

Because I want to show people that no matter what they are now experiencing or have experienced, that they too can rise above and become whomever they wanna be.

To inspire and empower.

[TheEmpress]

I see myself being not too inspired to teach private yoga to one of my clients who has many physical limitations. I’m sitting here looking at it. It does encourage me to think and plan more creatively, while also trusting my intuition when leading a class for him.

I’m sure it will pay off in the long run with future clients.

I just really see that I’m not enjoying doing some things. Attitude adjustment time.

Yoga isn’t just physical practice. I can bring other limbs into the classes. I just got the idea to lead him through a yoga nidra meditation. I have a very soothing voice that has tranced people out on many occasions.

I had a much deeper restorative sleep last night. Less dreams.

My son came back from his dads last night in a great mood. This morning he made a comment that pissed me off. “My dad is actually a good parent.” He’s not happy that I told him he can’t stay home from school today. I told him I said no and guilt tripping won’t change my mind.

Okay then. Whatever!

[TheEmpress]

Main Disc. Thread - Genesis: Mogul (Now Available!)

Nice! I’m on day 5 wash out. I think I’m experiencing some recon still. I wanted to listen to subs just now, but I haven’t even decided where I’m going with my stack yet. I also wonder about Seductress Black and RoB. Genesis has been speaking to me again too & curious about Genesis Mogul. LME long term or not. Not so sure. I honestly feel like dropping my direct focus with family stuff and focus more on ME. Happy mom happy home? I have the skills and tools already. I execute pretty w…

[TheEmpress]

Day 6 of wash out

My dream world felt like an action movie last night. I was driving on a road that went to construction with a weird ramp that almost zig zagged and had obstructions. A man offered to get my Jeep around for me. I was walking on the other side and was removed or kidnapped.

I felt like I was searching for my stolen stuff. Phone, Jeep and kids?

This man had my stuff and I couldn’t get it. He tried to stab me and cut my scalp with an X-Acto knife. A “friend” appeared in this random house full of people and called 911 for me because for whatever reason once I got my phone I couldn’t access 911.

My mind don’t feel right atm but I’m just taking it easy. Doing a little yoga and having my mushroom coffee. Breathing. Being kind with myself.

I was going to resume listening today but I’m gonna wait a bit to see how I’m feeling on all energetic levels.

I’m finding tenderness in my body for my teenage son.
Remembering he is high functioning autistic and has ADHD.

He doesn’t just deliberately cause problems or purposely not clean up his space. He even told me last night he gets weird thoughts and his personality changes so much.

He’s bothered by stuff.

Mama bear needs to soften her armour and be kinder. I must give off this energy that has him retreating and contracting from opening up more.

He has so many gifts and talents. He’s brilliant too. He’s just messy and scattered with his living space and work space at school. He’s going to high school next year. (Grade 9.)

[TheEmpress]

I feel better now… so I’m resuming listening with the following stack:

Stark & LME together
Seductress alternate listening day

Day 1 ~ Stark & LME full loops

I see the importance of LME. I was resisting it!

Edit:

I went into a local business today and the owner knew my name and said she loves my IG videos.

When my son came home from school I was much more chillaxed with him.

I had this surge of energy which led me to playing drums and keyboard for awhile. I noticed my speed was faster with my double bass pedals.

My nail lady told me that my nails grow really fast and that it must mean I am healthy

[TheEmpress]

The thing I really love about LME is how I simply cannot procrastinate on house chores. If I see something that needs to get done I do it. This then leads me to doing like 10 other tasks.
How about I take that motivation and apply it to writing a book or creating some courses to get some passive streams of income going?!

Just tonight, I spot cleaned a bunch of stains on my sons carpet, dusted his tv/computer stand, folded and put a load of laundry away, put a load in, scrubbed my kitchen sink and did all the dishes, washed the fronts of washer/dryer, swept and mopped main floor, prepped a plain yogurt parfait and did some yin yoga and got the kids lunched packed for tomorrow.

I am a fairly clean and tidy person, but I was letting some things go for a while when dating the narc. My heart feels so much lighter and I feel back to my better self, but I’m also upgrading and expanding.

As I did my yin yoga, I had so many realizations of my progress and gains from this subliminal journey so far. (But subs don’t work eh? ) I’m talking things like a chronic muscle spasm in my left elbow I had for years went away, knowing exactly what supplements to take for me, understanding menstrual cycles and what goes on during each phase ~ I recently discovered some important information aboot the luteal phase too. For the longest time, it wouldn’t stick in my brain, but now it does. My lifelong IBS~combined is basically in full remission, as well as cystitis/overactive bladder syndrome.

There’s so much I could probably say in length about the many layers of highly complex trauma I’ve worked through, down to the physical level. Even my “suffering” from body dysmorphia for over 2 decades has reduced by at least 70%. My “disease phobia” has reduced by over 70% as well.

I am what gives life to this powerful journey with such kick ass tools. I feel so blessed to be here.

[Trader]

I approve of this photo

[TheEmpress]

Well I did take the photo for you

[Trader]

Good girl

[TheEmpress]

That’s a freaky emoji. Yikes lol

[TheEmpress]

Day 2 ~ rEsT dAy

I noticed in my dreams that the things I was once dreaming of negatively have shifted to the positive. Someone plays the part of speaking my insecurities to me. This time it was someone speaking lovingly giving me compliments about the things I hated on about myself for so long.

It was someone from sub club. Not sure who. They said they thought one thing when seeing my photos but when they saw me in real life it was so much better. Relating to my hair and eyebrows.

I can’t recall the rest. I do remember at one point I owned a food truck. I shut it down then reopened it after a whole bunch of dramatic events happened. I used to dream of owning a food truck seasonally. I was a cook many moons ago. Not so sure if even wanna do that now, but cool dream.

My daughter woke me up at my alarm time by tapping on my door and then proceeded to go back to her room and sleep more. I was able to do my morning yoga undisturbed.

I did a distant reiki session on someone today. They had a release right when the session began! Love that.

[TheEmpress]

Episode 95: HOW TO BE THE LOVE YOU SEEK

[TheEmpress]

Day 3 ~ Seduxtress full loopy

Was woken from a very intense dream by my teenager. I jumped up feeling not so pleased by the word “HELLO?” He was demanding his laptop.

It threw off my morning a bit.

I got in a little yoga before the youngest got up.

I felt extra confident working on 2 reiki clients.

I made a reel for socials which got some views pretty quickly. I’m going to take more action on building up more views and followers.

I do find myself much more chatty since adding Stark back. This time it’s the experimental version though. I don’t have heavy recon.

I’m noticing people’s limiting beliefs as they are speaking. I used to wanna point it out and still find myself sometimes doing that. I’ve been becoming more conscious of that habit. It takes me from conversations when I am noticing every single area of limits and all the ways they are blocking their growth potential. I wanna tell them what to do! I am full of so many ideas and solutions for an abundance of problems. Clearly I’ve gotta make some courses or whatever.

Here, check out my website where I have a store with all my products.

I clearly have my own limiting beliefs around that to collapse with love.

It felt like a friend was shaming me today and that didn’t sit right with me. Realizing where this has happened a lot with her. We became friends when I was in a much different place in my life. She’s a mod in the Neville group I left in the summer. I’m going to work on shifting my beliefs with this and things will either change or I move on.

People come and people go, but no matter what I will be okay.

[TheEmpress]

Day 4 ~ rEsT dAy

I dreamt of so many different things last night. This guy I had a crush on from a couple bands over the years made his appearance to have a talk with me. I was curious if he left his partner. Never really had the talk. My house was leaking water all over. My dad came to help. My old life coach whom I used to crush on came with his boys as my new roommates. Water everywhere though. So strange.

I’m seeing where I don’t like being treated a certain way so I’m gonna practice not doing that to others as much as I am able to be conscious of. Manage my impulses.

This stack is hitting me differently. Maybe it’s Stark experimental doing stuff.

I see where fear tries to creep in but it’s not staying as long.

What if money runs out?
What about clients?
Will people actually love what I put out there?
What makes me any different than others?

This world is full of so many people selling and serving.

What makes me different ?!

I am different because ……

I do feel this sense of healthy arrogance among us SC users.

We are winning with these powerful tools

I feel we may either use them as a tool or a weapon.

As I am writing, I feel where the inner critic tries to contradict the inner coach. This cognitive dissonance could set in but I’m not allowing myself to go back to being fickle or wishy washy back and fourth.

I’ll dance that gunk out of me

Yesterday when I went to get my daughter off the bus at her dad’s, he pulled up right as I buckled her into my Jeep. He looked so amazing. What is it about him that keeps me hanging on to some possibility of a new start as a family? I sense feelings and attraction from him but he doesn’t express any interest in us. I did tell him how I find myself going into partial freeze around him. I expressed myself and he actually replied with a fairly long text. Usually in the past he would be short or no response.

Edit: just went through and unsubscribed to like 20 email lists and deleted 100s of emails. That felt good.

[TheEmpress]

Was having some recon. I’m much better now after doing a short little booty blast exercise. my daughters are at their dads now and I get a little more peace and quiet besides my son gaming in basement.

I brought my girls to a coffee shop where they were high energy. I am sensitive with energy especially during recon. I started wondering if other people were feelings too or if they didn’t notice the way I notice. I wanted to be stern but have been really working at being calmer and more patient with my kids. Model the ideal back to them.

I sat in my shit. 🥹

My ex fiancé came to pick up our daughter and ended up staying 1.5 hours. (While I was having recon.) I seemed to keep my cool and not as uncomfortable. Kids kept me busy anyways.

Surprised he wouldn’t just make our daughter get ready to go. He was fine to stay.

[Deadpool]

Maybe you can get back together with your ex and the father of your kids.

[Malkuth]

@TheEmpress

I sat in my shit.

Wisdom.