I just got this oracle deck today & did a quick shuffle while chatting with @Trader .
These 2 cards fell out.
I put them back and did a reshuffle & they fell out againā¦ okay, I get the message! 
āThinking is not enough. Itās time to do something.ā
Day 13 ~ LME & UA full loops with headphones 
I keep pulling the same cards from my new native spirit oracle deck. All around the east part of the medicine wheel. Eagle medicine. Up above. Overhead view. The big picture. Panoramic. Sacred mountain.
The elder energy. That of being a leader with healing hands.
I have some great purpose here on planet earth that Iām not fully stepping into yet.
I sit here thinking, wtf 
I keep pulling a card about stillness and meditation. The answers will come. Sometimes no action is the best action. Okay thenā¦
Finding comfort in the stillness, the purposeful pause, the yin, water, moon, feminine energy. Nurturing and loving my seeds that I have planted and are growing.
I have the vision. I know what I want. Sometimes I get too caught up in my masculine about it.
Thatās where I swing back and fourth on a pendulum. Iām much better now though. I catch myself quicker. I sit my ass down on my yoga block in my healing yoga room and breathe. Let the breath be my guide. Gaze at my plants. Gaze out my big window at nature. I love it.
Stop and be still and know that I amā¦ā¦
I was driving yesterday thinking about all the āwinsā Iāve been having with these subs and how I donāt typically get into the specifics here. Itās more less a place to release, process, share my experiences with the idea that someone will be blessed by my writing. I am sure the wins organically flow as I am typing too.
Iām so introspective as a writer. So much sharing of my self-inquiry.
I do notice how I havenāt been enjoying scheduled obligations. I love my freedom. I am working on finding my balance and flow with that. Successful business woman have obligations. The only difference is they have more choice and flexibility versus being an employee following orders from an employer. I make my schedule for the most part. I take time off as I so choose. I take my work with me wherever I may roam.
I have the belief that my clients and students are flexible.
Iāve been doing more magic mirror work again. Seeing me at my best. Loving what I see. Feeling good about what I see. Knowing this starts from within. I fill me up!
My seductress boobs continue to stay put. Iām grateful for this! My butt too. My body is maintaining a good shape. I still have areas of insecurity deep within that surface in my dream world mostly.
My hair is something I will continue working on. I do notice I am appreciating womanās gorgeous locks more than comparing and feeling jealous of what I lack.
In my past, Iāve missed out on events or assumed I wouldnāt be good enough because of my hair. I let that control me and limit me.
Iām also realizing that I no longer have as many unavailable men reaching out to emotionally and mentally connect. Iām not that girl anymore. A high value, high class, and confident honourable woman doesnāt welcome that unethical behaviour.
I took this photo before bed last night and shared it with 2 of my Sub Club pals that I know personally. I used to be afraid to show myself braless. Now Iām embracing more of my natural self. 
Thank you LME & Seductress for leading me to this.
Reaffirmed what I am working on and healing.
Day 14 ~ ReSt DaY
Deleted Facebook messenger all day. Needed a break. 
Found myself watching videos about the feminine being in receiving mode. Vibed with some of it then got annoyed and shut it off.
Feeling a lot processing for me today.
I am loving how motivated and on top of house duties I have been since LME. I normally would leave the basket of clothes to fold for a couple days. Found myself folding clothes at 10pm. Made school lunches for the next day while preparing dinner. Kids in bed zero hassle. 
I felt sad today (underneath the anger) as I drove my youngest to the school in her dads town. Waiting for next court date. I want her at my town school. I hate this. It feels like Iām stuck in a hole in a sense. Iām sick of driving so much. Why do I have to do this? Why is he okay with this? Does he even care?
Iām her mom. I just wanna enjoy her. Not be driving all over the damn place. Why does it feel like Iām jumping through hoops and have to pay a lawyer to get him to speak?
He stays dead silent mostly in court room.
When will it get to the point where we can just speak and resolve this unfinished business. It feels incomplete.
I still love him. I wish I had my family together.
But why ? I feel crazyā¦. Iām holding back from speaking about my feelings because every time I did before I was rejected. I know I hurt him when I called off the wedding end of 2020, but itās been 3 years.
The last time I spoke about it was august 2022.
I feel like Iām in the brink of a breakthrough. Iāll gain the courage. I wish he had the courage though.
I want him to come to me and say everything I want to hear. Maybe itās a far fetched reality though.
Day 15 ~ Seductress full loop
Today I am feeling more confident as a woman. I feel more sure of myself. More balanced.
Noticing how liberated I feel without attachments or clinging to external validation.
I watched many videos on receiving as the feminine and being open to a provider man. I used to cringe at the thought of this.
I realize where I would put a man on a pedestal making him more feminine and me more masculine. I thought by giving giving giving and providing for him that I would receive what I want. I had it backwards. Each and every relationship I experienced has brought me closer to my truth as a divine feminine.
I am not an academy for men to come be taught or coached. I would attract wounded men wanting a mommy or a teacher.
I would also attract creepy sketchy behaved men when I was being too much in my sex kitten energy and less in my goddess energy.
I watched videos yesterday on the concept of these archetypes: goddess energy, sex kitten energy & mommy energy. Where we use it and when itās not appropriate or fitting. What we project out is what we will receive.
I donāt desire to play out trauma bonds anymore. I donāt desire to get with wounded masculines to heal my wounded parts.
I am doing the work on my own while my divine counterpart does the same. We will come together in divine timing.
For now, I do me and I enjoy it.
Iām really enjoying the exploration of what it means to be a woman and how to embrace my feminine sexuality in a more healthy manner.
I had a lot of sexual trauma throughout my life. Iāve been forgiving myself and those who I allowed to harm me too.
I am grateful for all those experiences. It helped shape me to become the strong woman I am today.
Iām noticing I am more friendly playful with other woman. I am noticing and appreciating their beauty rather than feeling jealous or comparing myself to them. I used to hide myself as a tom boy hanging out with the guys. āOne of the guysā who doesnāt click with girls. That story got oldā¦. That book has closed.
I click with whomever.
Iām hungrier today so I have honoured that. I usually intermittent fast. The physical shifting in this sub has me using more energy. Plus I have more reiki clients now.
My one client has scoliosis and since being for sessions with me her spine has been straightening.
Happy camper right here 
Day 17 ~ LME (full loop) & Stark (full loop) replacing UA remainder of cycle ā¦
Will be continuing with this stack for awhile.
Having a lot of processing dreams and clearly experiencing recon, but itās manageable.
Iām not going into overload territory anymore.
My anger has been subsiding.
Iām feeling waves of frustration though.
I have an event today at Unity Spiritual Centre. I will be offering Reiki with guidance and mushroom coffee. Looking forward to networking. 
Woke before my alarm today.
Iāll post more later.
thatās really interesting how you wrestle and discover stuff about your femininity. Iāve never seen my life from that frame myself.
This really has blossomed for me over the past little while. My ex bf really was a catalyst for my transformation as a woman. Even though he was very much a narcissist in so many ways, he taught me a lot about myself. Thank you, thank you.
Iāve been listening to seductress on and off for over a year now. Exercising the conscious mind daily also helps. Iāve been working with my conscious mind for almost 3 years.
When I stopped jumping between so many subs, seeking so many different outcomes, the magic began!
I think genesis for one cycle was very useful.
whatās your current stack? What are your goals?
thatās a lot of inner work youāve done there!
currently, my stack is HeO + anything that my intuition tells me to play, now itās WB.
I also added Mogul into it because of the hype
my goal mainly is to be better at my craft. everything else is nice to have, but Iām fine without them.
to that, HeO fits who i am and what i want to be perfectly. i love how much fulfilment this sub adds into my life
Todays event went spectacular.
I made so many connections & experienced doing reiki first time in public!
I wasnāt nervous like I once would have been. People were watching from a distance. No biggy.
I shared my table with a friend whose part of the mushroom coffee biz. I swear I manifested so many peeps to buy the boxes rather than the singles of the coffee. Cool 
Lots of smiles. Lots of engagements. Conversations.
Feeing myself become more comfortable with business networkingā¦ 
Edit: the woman at the table beside ours (who came a bit later after speaking) said that she saw pink light above my crown.
Day 18 ~ rEsT dAy
Today sort of sucked. 
I didnāt want to teach private yoga. I wanted to just effing be. I managed to get through it with success.
Happy satisfied client.
Lately I have been checking out peoples content lay out. Their websites. Offerings. Packages. Pricing. Programs. Etc.
Iāve noticed my ex narc still occupies some vacancy in my emotional and mental field but itās improving.
Not much else to say other than I know stuff is processing within and good things are coming.
This is the way.
Went for a drive to get some of my fav food. Soooo nourishing and the atmosphere rocked!
Shifted myself out of the recon abyss. 
A couple things to point out since listening to Stark yesterday full loop. I see the synergy with seductress & stark working very wonderfully.
I shared my table with a friend whose high rank with the mushroom coffee business I am a part of. She was talking to potential customers and while she was speaking I had these thoughts of better things to say. I felt smarter in a sense and sheās a pharmacist/functional medicine practitioner. Sheās a very highly educated and well respected woman in the health and wellness industry.
I felt status. I felt wise. I felt confident. I felt like I knew wtf I was talking about.
I came up with things to say to convince people who were hesitant about the caffeine. I explained how the adaptogens in the mushrooms counterbalanced the caffeine effects and all this other stuff. I forget exactly how I said it, but it just came out perfectly.
Things Iāve researched past couple years sprung to the forefront at the perfect time.
Today I noticed my internet bill was higher than usual. Itās supposed to be the same price for 2 years under a promotion. I got on the phone with them immediately. They said some stuff about how they notified me on a previous bill and said something about pricing going up with the economy or whatever. I made it clear that I didnāt sign up for a 2 year promo with the possibility of pricing increasing. How that was never mentioned when I signed up for this āpromo.ā GTFO!
I ended up getting myself another discount for $10 less per month.
I also made a suggestion for how to better run things before they lose customers to their competitors!
I was pretty bold and intense. Felt really powerful. I knew Iād get what I wanted.
Day 19 ~ sEdUcTrEsS full loop 
As I listened I had memories pour through from a time (2016) when I chased after boys not men. I had desperate needy energy.
Many times I would be too much in my masculine trying to attract my mate.
Iāve become much better at softening into the feminine goddess energy. It doesnāt mean I am weak. I find that to be great strength.
Iām becoming more attractive as I believe in myself more and more.
My ex fiancĆ© was in my dreams again. Heās really attractive to me lately. I feel so turned on by his role as a hard working man and dedicated father. I notice how I naturally soften around him, but feel sort of uncomfortable awkward and frustrated in his presence because he doesnāt show any physical interest in me at the moment. He was heartbroken by me. I left him. He has had a hard time trusting me ever since.
We would probably be perfect together. I wonāt push it on him though.
I do fantasize a lot about us though.
LME win ~
My son was likeā¦.
I need a haircutā¦ as we were about to head to his first chiropractor appointment in yearsā¦
I decided to see if this one nearby barbershop had online bookingā¦.
Just recently they got it!
Looked at the barbers available todayā¦
The one female barber looked perfect!
She had a spot available right after his appointment was completed. Perfect timing.
He got the perfect cut and he was so happyā¦
He usually hates his haircuts.
Edit: even got him some new shoes cuz why not. Thatās what good mamas are for? Lol 
Day 20 ~ rEsT dAy
Holy dreams Batman!!!
Shits weird.
Had a productive beginning to my day doing some body movement. Breathing. Mushroom coffee. Oracle card reading.
Brought my son to an appointment and off to school. We had a bit of an argument but worked through it. Iām becoming less of a screamer with him and toning it down. Sometimes itās not so easy to keep it cool and neutral. I have to remind myself that his brain isnāt fully developed yet and he has high functioning autism/adhd. He doesnāt do this stuff on purpose. Sometimes I think he just doesnāt care.
He asks me what heās doing wrong. He must really not understand the issues here. Iāve gotta work on better communication with him. We will get there. 
work in progressā¦ Iām aware and accepting my shit.
I made 2 YouTube shorts, a reel for IG / Facebook and did a live video on Facebook too.
Really consciously shifting my garbage assumptions.
Canāt believe I have 1 more day left of this 21 day cycle.
Wow 
