Reflections of Apollo

Right back at ya hermano :fist_right:

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My observations of the Lovebomb ultima prototype: (1st time, 1 loop)

-Before playing, I was starting to have the early signs of recon, Iā€™m 2nd guessing if I should go on with my stack, or should change things up a bit. 2-3 hours after I listened once, and I donā€™t feel the recon.

-My mood changed gradually for the better, Iā€™m on EQ which tends to make me feel centered and grounded. With this ultima, I was reminded of Stark. Felt happier, more social and upbeat.

-Sometimes when Iā€™m on EQ I noticed I have either this blank stare or an ice cold look if something truly got my attention and Iā€™m analyzing in the background. Itā€™s not meant to be rude but I noticed this in myself when Iā€™m focusing on what someone is saying. With the ultima, I guess my eyes were kinder, and friendlier. I canā€™t explain it exactly, but it feels like I am smiling through my eyes. I can see it through the demeanor of who I am talking to, cause they tend to change their look as well.

-I joke around more, and it doesnā€™t take much to make me laugh out loud today.

-Noticed more hugs and clinginess. Deer in the headlights too.

-Been complimented about my body and looks.

-I didnā€™t feel sexual. Not today.

-Something in it made me appreciate my look in the mirror for some reason. Maybe it has some beautifying effect? Is that what thatā€™s called? Anyway I havenā€™t shaved for about 5 days now, and right around this time Iā€™m usually shaking my head when I see myself, I donā€™t let my beard grow this much, cause one 1. I donā€™t think it looks good on me. 2. Itā€™s damned itchy.

Well, when I saw myself in the mirror, I was like huhā€¦ this isnā€™t so bad. I dig it. Iā€™m shaving it off though, the ultima did not help with the itch, sadly.

-Had a discussion over lunch, the topic was pretty serious but no negativity felt. The conversation was actually pleasant. Saw plenty of nods in agreement.

-Minimal negative thoughts. Actually I think my love for myself heightened with this Ultima.

-I was still productive.

-Music was more enjoyable. I love music, but I think it heightened my level of enjoyment.

-I automatically skipped over bad news or negative stuff. Iā€™m just not interested in it.

Tomorrow is my rest day, but Iā€™ll note here in case something remarkable happens that I can be sure to attribute to the prototype and not my other subs.

This ultima is fantastic, I wonder how it could work during interviews or instances when you need to be convincing like in sales etc.

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your communication is almost like a different person lately, the succinctness and clarity. I think whatever youā€™ve been doing is working.

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My rambling thoughts is a source of embarassment, and improving upon this is one of my goals. This means a lot. Thanks brother.

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most welcome!ā€“hereā€™s a cool tip if you are embarrassed by it (unsolicited advice :sweat_smile::sunglasses:)-look to catch when you are going to ramble and set a context for it.

You can do this by saying consciously ramble: (insert ramble here) lol

It sounds funny but itā€™s one step to getting space around it and communicating more powerfully/responsibly.

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@Azriel Ahā€¦ haha gotcha. Advice away my friend. Iā€™ve lost a lot, but one thing I didnā€™t is to always keep an open mind and be open for advice. I appreciate that :fist_right:

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Small note: Itā€™s my rest day but an old friend suddenly contacted me out of the blue today. We didnā€™t have any communication for maybe a year. Iā€™m pretty certain I could attribute this to the Lovebomb prototype I played once yesterday. If so, it has an effect over very long distances.

Iā€™ve also gotten a note with 3 hearts yesterday from another friend. Itā€™s very minor but just synchronicities and observations Iā€™d like to add in my journal.

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Still my rest day today. I canā€™t say I am not tempted to run a loop of the prototype but itā€™s going to change my routine. Iā€™m thinking of running it again tomorrow just to see if something new pops up.

As for my subs, I feel good and centered. I didnā€™t have much negative thoughts since yesterday, I just feel light.

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Alright, I wasnā€™t going to test it today but I had a sudden shift in mood and Iā€™m feeling pretty down. I figured now is the perfect time for me to observe myself and to test for self-effects. Iā€™m only playing the prototype once today, and only that.

Iā€™m not expecting anything but if my mood changes noticeably, I will attribute it to the Ultima, including anything out of the ordinary today.

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@Apollo :hugs:

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That made me smile :hugs:

Thanks bud

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Anytime. Always here for you

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Obvious improvements in my mood. Been singing along to some music and had a pretty vibrant discussion.

Interesting indeed. Back to the stack tomorrow

Edit. Now I feel I have multiple personalities. Thatā€™s just great. :neutral_face:

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Last entry for the Lovebomb Ultima prototype for now: Good feels plateaued around 2-3 hours. I donā€™t feel as social as yesterday, not even in the mood to have a romantic banter. I just want to do my own thing and listen to some music.

I noticed I joked around a bit, which is interesting, because I felt the pangs of depression showing itself earlier today. The ultima is powerful, it abated even that, and to think I only played it once.

Itā€™s a great tool to have in the toolbox, but I have yet to complete my emotional healing which ElixirU might expedite alongside DR.

As for outside reactions, there is attraction and I felt more likeable on this one, if not the sudden impulse to show some type of bravado, or playfulness which surprised me, I thought I was too old for that or no longer have it in me.

That impulse almost got me into trouble, but I felt like I got a free pass, again due to the Ultima, and I was able to smooth it out quickly.

Thatā€™s it. Cheers

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Feeling meh right now. Recon from the Ultima maybe.

Day 9

Dragon Reborn ST 1

EQ

PS

Day 10

Dragon Reborn ST 1

EQ

PS

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I have some slight headache today. Thinking of using either Lovebomb or Elixirā€¦ choices choices.

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Choose water. :blush:

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Thatā€™s a bingo