I fell off, getting back on it.
Every night 15 mins
1 Like
Holy sh!t, I have sexual trauma too. I totally forgot how big of an impact this had on my life. Iāve already wrote about it before, but I didnāt understand just how big an impact this has had.
And that dissociation I was talking about, thatās when it really got bad. I literally wouldnāt talk to anyone. I just walked around in a daze with that 1000 yard stare. Completely disconnecting from my environment. Then, thatās when I started smoking a lot of of weed, which made things 10x worse.
1 Like
No wonder Iām so afraid of escalating with girls. Iām afraid of the one thing I want. Sex. Iām afraid of reliving that trauma again so i self sabotage in one way or another.
Like for example, 2 years ago I met a girl. She was into me and she made it clear she wanted to fuck. Matter of fact she was into the whole BDSM thing, so I was kind of excited. But I was also afraid, because of how I look and who I am, girls expect that Iām super experienced when Iām really not. And on top of that I have trauma related to the act itself.
Back to the story, after a few weeks of talking; she got fed up with me. I always said Iād come over but I never did. Then she said something disrespectful to me over text and I completely ghosted her.
Now she probably hates me. All this couldāve been avoided if I simply had the confidence to fuck her right. But this sexual trauma got in the way and I ruined my chance.
2 Likes
I canāt even believe im saying all this on the forum, Iāve never shared these experiences and feelings with anyone before
4 Likes
Thank you for trusting us enough to share this. Dealing with things like rejection and/or ridicule (in the way youāve described) is really tough. Itās truly a vulnerable thing, and simply sharing it is huge 
2 Likes
Now Iām recalling another instance of ghosting girls.
When I was with this girl, another cute blonde girl started talking with me. We got pretty close, but it was weird because it was over text. (She had just changed from my school to another one.)
Anyways we really liked each other, sending each other hearts and stuff. Talking all day and night. Eventually when things got really serious with the first girl, I ghosted this one out of fear. I was afraid that if she found out I was talking to another girl, she would ditch me. Also, she was becoming so attached it was becoming a turn off.
So I ditched the other girl for her.
1 Like
Yesterday was fun, my cousin is getting married and she had a wedding shower. Not going to lie, I was nervous about going. There was so many people there that I havenāt seen for a few years. But as soon as I got there, I was fine. I caught up with a bunch of people, drank aaaaaalot, and yeahā¦ idk it was a lot of fun.
There was one girl who was friends with the bride, and manā¦ sheās hot. Like sheās no 10, but Iāve always found her super attractive. Anyways when I saw her at the party it was strangeā¦ We had some awkward sexual tension going on, and it was kinda intense; and sheās like 6 years older than me. It was so strange, she acted so awkward around me. I was confused at first, but then I caught on lol. Weirdest part is we didnāt really talk much, but I could still sense thickness in the air when she was close. Idk maybe Iām just crazy.
Anywaysā¦ I was day drinking for 8 hours and now my friend wanted to go to a Latin barš
I was already drunk so I couldnāt wait. We got there and I was really excited to dance. Idk why but I was fucking HYPED. We all start dancing, I finally find my groove and i was on FIRE. Like i donāt know where I learned to dance like this, but I was killing it. My footwork was incredible, I was pulling all kind of slick moves. A few people commented on my dancing, āyouāve been practising aye?ā āWhere did you learn to dance like that?ā
And I was like idk lolā¦ but it was awesome. I swear every time I drink, I am full Stark mode. I just wish I could be this way all the time.
3 Likes
Bought my first car and Iām getting it later today! Iām so excited, finally I can start driving on my own
6 Likes
Primal has me feeling ultra confident right now. I didnāt even go out tonight, but my beliefs have changed.
Suddenly girls who I felt were out of my league, now I just think āyeah, I could have herā. āWhatās not to love about meā
I feel unusually confident sexually, I feel like I could actually make the first move if I wanted to. As opposed to me usual āwait for them to notice me, and hope they talk to meā attitude 
Itās kinda cool, now I want to go out and test this newfound confidence 
Primal is working FAST GHEEEEEZE
4 Likes
Primal is the sh!t. I think I just found my new favourite sub
3 Likes
In what kinds of ways?
How is your libido? Are you feeling overly sexual and find it hard not to fap? My biggest concern with primal is the intense sexual stimulation Iāve read it causes. Any insight into that?
Itās exactly what I need. Like they say in the description: āIt is the epitome of inner gameā.
ā¢ Itās helping me let go of self limiting beliefs with women (like āIām not good enoughā āSheās taller than meā),
ā¢ I feel nonchalant (like wanted without the lazy feeling)
ā¢ Social anxiety is down
ā¢ I feel more optimistic towards life (mainly my love life)
ā¢ I feel more attractive, noticing more IOIās from hot girls, been more comfortable being around girls and talking to them, people have been treating me very well when Iām out and about
ā¢ Life feels more fun, itās like I have the world in the palm of my hand and I can do anything I want.
5 Likes
Libido is high, and yes Iām feeling very sexual but in a different way. I feel this strong drive to be around hot chicks, and talk to them, and get them in bed. Itās like Iām horny, but I want real girls instead of digital titties.
This is totally different from how I used to be, I used to rely on pmo to avoid all the stresses that come with girls. Now I want it all
2 Likes
I had a few realizations today:
-
No girl is āout of my leagueā. Iām no longer putting women on a pedestal, theyāre not these perfect angelic creatures. Theyāre human just like everyone else. Therefore being nervous around hot girls is pointless.
-
Everyone finds me attractive, and I donāt care anymore. Looks are great, but men require more than just good looks to be successful with women
-
I donāt give a fuck about celebrities. Itās a little random but I think this has to do with Stark. I was thinking to myself āWhy do people worship celebrities? They eat, breathe, p*ss and s!it just like everyone else? Why tf do people treat them like gods and worship the ground they walk onā¦? Itās super cringe.
-
People talk, and since Iāve been going out so much lately; Iāve come to realize that most oftenā¦ people talk about other people. This lead me to start thinking about my own reputation. How do I want to be perceived? When people talk about me, what kind of things do I want them to say?
-
Iāve noticed a lot of awkward silences when taking to others lately. Itās like suddenly people look up to me, theyāre expecting me to carry on the conversation and Iām not used to that. So theirs these awkward silences and itās driving me nuts cause I canāt think of what to say. I just want to stop feeling and being awkward
3 Likes
Great insights 
Learn to embrace it and love it. It is a powerful way of communication and a sign of high status. I remember years back when I started with self-development and my mentor told me to start implementing pauses as I spoke with people, I found it so weird and felt awkward. But nowadays Iām completely fine with silence, it just became the most natural thing in the world.
Also, in public speaking, making pauses is a great way of keeping people hooked. I used to practice on removing all the āummāsā when I holding a speech and replacing them with silence instead.
3 Likes
Yes I feel the same, itās weird to me. Iāve always been a fast speaker, but I think itās because Iām afraid that if I take a pause, Iāll lose their attention or their interest.
I guess Iāll have to practise this more!
Great idea, Iām going to implement this!
1 Like
The funny thing and as youāll learn is that it is often the exact opposite 
You can practice in all conversations to just make small pauses here and there, and youāll start notice how you are more present with them and not only with yourself and what to say next.
Also there are many things you can do with your voice to be more interesting. Look into rapport speaking, thereās three levels; seeking rapport, neutral rapport, and breaking rapport. High status people reside in their speaking in last two mostly.
Or you could just make a custom with Emperorās Voice, Dragonās Tongue, and Voice Master 
1 Like
I need to run Rebirth, I think this sub is going to be a game changer for me.
I need to become a new person, itās so obvious now. Everything Iām trying to do with subs revolves around this one thing. Letting go of my past life, and starting to live the life I want, not how everyone wants me to be.
1 Like
All I do is worry about what others think of me and Iām sick of it.
PCC might be on deck too, I think this sub would annihilate my inferiority complex into a million pieces.
If I begin to act in a way that increases my power, status, sex appeal etc, all on a subconscious level then my inferiority complex simply could not exist.