Aye, aye sir, I mean ma’am, right away!
Being more mature is great.
Being older sucks.
And both are happening at the same time.
Maybe I can even say that both happen by themselves at teh right time.
About girls… Meeting young girls was definitelly easier in my 30´s than in my 40, specially trhrough dating apps. If i were you, I wold meet the girls and do the celibacy experimet later if you still feel like doing it.
Nothing wrong with celibacy if you have a good reason for it. Are you sure you have it? If you can honestly say that its not some kind of avoidance, go for it. If you are not sure, just wait till you are sure.
And It does not mean you have to obsess about girls. Quiet the contrary. Just do whatever you want to do. I´m just saying that maybe you can do it without making such a radical decission.
Anyway, it´s your life and you should do whatever makes sense for you.
@Dantes, you’ve vowed to sacrifice your 20s and 30s so your 40s can be “legendary.” You’re placing all your chips on a single bet—that when you finally cross the finish line, the emptiness of the chase won’t still be waiting for you on the other side.
But let me ask you something:
By dedicating a decade to postponing life, love, and connection, are you mastering discipline—or are you conditioning yourself to forever chase, but never arrive?
If you spend years training your mind to say, “Not yet, not now, later”, what makes you think that pattern will suddenly switch off when you hit 40? What if, by the time you reach your so-called prime, your brain has been so wired for sacrifice and self-denial that it no longer knows how to feel fulfilled, even when you have it all?
And here’s the real question that should keep you up at night:
If your 40-year-old self could speak to you right now… what would he say?
Would he thank you for your unwavering discipline? Or would he beg you to stop postponing life before it’s too late?
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Ah thanks for the recommendation then I’ll take a look into it to find the right one. Appreciate you as always bro
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Okay I’m pushing for greatness and laugh at my desperate attempt to go ahead. Live well with your life and I’ll be happy with my decisions. You won’t ever understand me and I don’t expect you to.
I wanna build myself up to my peak and choose from a place of abundance and not scarcity. I’m dealing with scarcity and I choose to withdraw until I’m looking at it from a perspective of abundance.
Ultimately I don’t care about endless females I just wanna be worthy of the right girl. I wanna be emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually at my peak and then choose a partner from there. I wanna be whole and complete rather than looking for a girl to complete me that’s why I chose celibacy. Because when you take away the sex what else is there? There’s a lot in life to experience and do.
I don’t get what you said.
Are you encouraging him?
It doesn’t feel like a sacrifice though only thing I’m sacrificing is potentially dating and love but the thrill of giving your heart and soul into something is the reward itself. I wake up doing what I love every second of the day. Yeah I’m sacrificing temporary thrills of youth but I believe there’s better days ahead to enjoy the fruits of my labour. If I wake up 45 with nothing I’ll be content because I know I have gave everything into achieving my dreams and I won’t die with regret I’ll get closure. If I fail then I’d settle for what I get. Appreciating the reality.
Anyways I wanted to get insights on life at 40 not some woo woo talk about enjoying your youth and criticizing my personal choices. Smh
To be honest, I don’t quite understand what you expect. What is life supposed to be like at 40? For me, there is no “life at 20 is exactly like this…”, “life at 30 is like this…”, “life at 40 is like this…”. With regard to your initial questions, there can simply be no general answers. Ask 100 people what life is like at 40 and you will find 100 different answers. There may be overlapping elements, but the wealth of experience of 40 years alone means that the perspectives are very diverse. And even if you do get answers, what are you going to do with them? You have your own ideas. You also seem very determined, so why do you need someone else’s perspective? What is that supposed to achieve? Convince you that you might not be right after all?
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I’ve held off on commenting even though I’m late 40s. Was kind of curious to see how the discussion went without my input (tbh, pretty as I expected).
But how’s life at 40? Is it better than your 20s?
It’s neither better nor worse. It’s just different.
I would have been in my mid to late 20s in the last years of the 90s / early '00s. During that time I travelled abroad (Canada, US) and had early sexual experiences, hiked trails and canyons in Arizona, spent the night sleeping rough in the Grand Canyon, drove through a twister in Nebraska joking with my comrades about flying cows, and hanging out with fellow weirdos under a pyramid in a Texas loft next to equipment reputed to be used to contact aliens. I travelled across the four states on a dime and a prayer not knowing if I would be able to contact my colleague at the end of it, lugging boxes around on Greyhounds through cities that probably weren’t safe. I took risks.
30s I still took risks, but they were more calculated risks, and I was catching up on the childhood that I never had. I went out to concerts of megabands with my first long term partner, held hands with them in cinemas as we laughed as stupid movies with Hugh Grant in them. I ate Eggs Benedict while living by the beach and taking photos that could have won prizes if I submitted them just for fun and the cultivation of a hobby, travelled to a third foreign country to live with no job waiting for me just to be with my partner. The theme song of my life could have been Don Henley’s Boys of Summer.
Early 40s, still taking risks but of a different kind, forced to live in hostels briefly due to an abusive housemate, but drinking whiskey and beers with travellers from around the world, smoking questionable things, writing the start of my novel and spending long hours conversing with someone who had their fingers and toes dipped in Hollywood who was literally one step away from powerful people. It wasn’t until a few years into my 40s that it was brought home to me just how easily it can all come crashing down, a story I’ve already told elsewhere that I won’t go into here.
I would say that if I could go back and give my 20 or 30 something self advice, it would be to either do better with finances and don’t put so much naive trust in other people, or to find some kind of loophole to ensure your lifestyle remains sustainable and secured. Girlfriends and partners will leave you, you could lose all your belongings overnight, your manager could make a backroom deal to take your job away after you almost completely automate the reporting for the company. Make sure you have backup and contingency plans.
I still got attention from hot women in my 40s, no so much young, but still hot. But what I recognized is all that stuff is temporary and can be taken away from you at any moment, so your happiness should not be contingent on it or you’ll end up in the shit.
Is the fear to grow older justified or is it a myth as I got my best days ahead of me? Would you consider it your prime? Or would it be your 30s or 20s?
It’s not a justified fear, but it should be a motivation not to waste your energy or get too attached to worldly stuff. You wrote I vowed on dedicating a decade to celibacy, and that can be great if you also learn to conserve and grow your energy, but it’s not necessary. The world can be as malleable and fickle as the moon Juliet complained to Romeo of, and the key to not letting it destroy you is enjoyment with non-attachment. You don’t stop trying to become legendary suddenly because you hit an arbitrary age marker. You just (hopefully) go about it with more wisdom as you get older because you’ve had more chance to understand cause and effect.
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I also came to the same realization in my late 30s. And I hope that everyone can make the same realization. I really like the following quote from Jim Carrey.
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that that’s not the answer.”
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That right there. Is exactly why I chose celibacy. There was a quote
Ever fed, never satisfied. Never Fed, Ever Satisfied. I think, kinda forgot which book it was from but it stuck out to me. I wanna experience life at least this next decade exploring my potential.
Couldn’t be said any better, but for me that would mark my end of financial goals so I can focus on more goals, more personal goals like cultivating and focusing on relationships, philanthropy, becoming a humanitarian, explore art.
That’s all I needed to hear. Thank you. Because I’ve always wanted to pursue and dive into things wholeheartedly, I have a tendency to pour my heart in all I do. But my goals of philanthropy, becoming an artist, being an humanitarian I can’t necessarily act upon it in this phase of life. And I’d wanna be able to start a family by then. So for women, just as long as im super attracted to my wife that’s all i care about. Those are my goals with this. I just had to get really clear on the vision for how I’d like to live in my middle and later stages of life. No more anxiety about it, just peace knowing my hard work now, will set me up for the future. Thanks brother! And you lived an awesome life
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That’s exactly the reason why im doing it, I grew up poor, invisible and unloved. I’m tryna erase that identity. I gotta experience that and see how pointless it is to come to terms with my past. It’s a messed up psyche and i know i need some therapy but lol I gotta experience it, it’s like a karmic debt for me. And I got nothing to lose.
See the best and see the worst and see the average that could happen, create a mental picture of those scenarios, address my fear and let go of my irrational fear of aging. And create a plan, to not repeat the common regrets. Thats my goal.
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Work with Dragon Reborn if and when the time feels right to you. This is your journey, and your sovereignty, and you know that.
But when I read some of your posts, I hear ‘Shadow Work’.
Right now, you actually seem more in a Hero: Origins, paladin-like space. Maybe a little monk mode, Emperor Black.
Sooner or later, we all work with the shadow. In one way or another. It’ll come when it comes.
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Funny you said this because I am purely in Emperor Black mode. I think I’ll run it for the foreseeable future as it fits perfectly into my life right now
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You’re running Emperor Black right now?
That makes sense.
Yeah i been on it for a month, alongside Stark Black and Nouveau RICH. I was contemplating switching it for Khan but Emperor Black is incredible, only other sub i can think of is emperor: executive that should come out
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I don’t think you’ll get a sufficiently representative picture in this thread or in the forum in general. To be honest, I don’t know who is how old here, but I suspect that it’s mainly younger people (20/30 years old). And the majority are here because they have not yet made it in one or more areas of life. Otherwise nobody would be looking for help and would end up with a product like Subliminals. And I’m just going to guess that it’s largely about attention, recognition and love. Even if it expresses themes such as money, fame, power, sex, etc., which in my view are simply a means to an end. That’s why titles like Khan (Black), Stark (Black) and Wanted (Black) are way ahead. And I think that’s okay. I’m also in it because I still want to get rid of things from the past.
Another suggestion: go out into real life and ask real people. Preferably in a retirement/nursing home or a hospice. Ask people what they regret not having done in their lives. Regardless of age.
I would rather recommend a healing title, but I also think Emperor Black can help. I wish you every success on your journey. 
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