EDIT: I just changed the title as i forgot to mention that i also have both OCD and ADHD. I got the ocd from my dad who is your classic super robotic engineer who also gave me asperger. not sure why i have ADHD since no one else in family has it. im on medication for both.
i take vyavanse in the morning for adhd and then 4-5 hours later i take dexedrine for adhd as well to keep me going rest of work day, and then around bed time i take luvox for my ocd. so yeah my situation is very complex. but im not negative about these things at all as i also have major genetic gifts along with these genetic disadvantages so i never complain and always give my best.
ORIGINAL POST
i’m a very unique case in the world of self help and i always wonder if anyone but myself can really help me but ill do my best to explain my situation and what im looking for.
i have asperger which i got from my dad who is your classic engineer type.
what is asperger?
this is the video i send everyone when i try to explain what interactions with other humans is like for me: Bill Gates - Microsoft Antitrust Deposition - Highlights - YouTube
anyone with asperger knows bill gates has it too and so does zuckerberg and a lot of people who work in tech and engineering.
but what complicates things for me but i guess makes it easier dating wise is i do NOT look like your classic techy.
i have legit male model looks which runs in the family as my sister is a legit fashion model; not the nonsense instagram model that all hot girls claim im talking legit fashion runway model. she was modeling before instagram even existed. and i myself have been offered several times to do it but have chosen not to as i make way more money at my current tech job.
to give you an objective measure of my looks, there is a website called photofeeler where you can upload your pictures and get them rated by women age 18-24; my pictures on there get rated between 9.7 and 9.9.
more about me, in my 20s, work in fintech, i make good money but the job is extremely competitive and attracts basically the smartest people in the world. a very basic idea of what i do is that its very similar to stock trading in that its basically 100% performance based. if you’re good you can make insane amounts of money in your 20s if you suck even for 3-6 months in a row you will be out of the industry entirely. i know several people who made millions bought lambos and all that then had like 6-8 months of bad performance and never recovered and now have regular jobs making like 80k per year. its brutal industry.
ok so that is my background.
why am i here? what do i want?
well basically im wondering if there is a way for me to become more normal socially?
with asperger i basically overanalyze and overthink everything when interacting with other humans.
the way bill gates acts in the video above is how i basically am in every interaction with other humans including women.
this over analysis is why im good at my job but besides that it is probably the worst thing to have for dating or really even friendship with other humans. unless they are the same of course.
its also very hard for me to understand non verbal social cues or anything subtle which unfortunately is how most women communicate.
this video is another great example of what social interactions are like for someone like me with asperger: The Social Network (2010) - You're Breaking Up With Me? Scene (1/10) | Movieclips - YouTube
the one thing i have is i won the genetic lottery so i have 0 problems drawing women; in fact honestly sometimes i wish i got less attention in public as it makes me very self conscious sometimes because people stare at me a lot. i sometimes purposely dress really down to avoid attention in crowded places.
so i can attract women all day but within 1-3 min of me talking with them they become very very confused and i either get friend zoned or a lot of times the girls almost dont know what to make of me; my personality and the way i talk and act is so much different then what you would expect from someone who looks like me that a lot of times girls kind of freeze as they basically have never been in a situation like that.
i have noticed that i do a lot better with asian girls since a very large % of asian people are asperger/autistic so they are similar to me so they dont find it weird but im not really attracted to asian girls so not really helpful.
honestly, im not too hopeful anything can be done about me, it seems from everything i read that people who are asperger or on autistic spectrum just kind of are like that forever and nothing can be done. ill try subliminals but definitely not holding my breath.
one thing i have considered is trying to find girls who are my physical type who also have asperger which im sure exist.
so that is it, is there anything you guys can suggest for someone like me to be more “normal” in social situations?
also, im looking for something i can try without negatively affecting my job. i cannot afford even 2 weeks of having my mental abilities negatively affected as i work 100% on performance. from researching this world of subliminals i have heard sometimes you can go through mental funks as part of the process; if these mental funks significantly impact my performance with work then i will stop as my career remains #1 no matter what.
im hoping there is something i can do to be at least 20-30% more normal in social situations without lowering my performance at work,
so far best option seems to be a product called true social ultima.
do you guys agree i should start with that?
also, just to be clear i know some of you reading this might find my post arrogant like im just using this as an excuse to show off how im really handsome and have great job. its not. thats juts how my brain works. i give factual data. if im gq level good looking i will say im gq model good looking because that is the actual data. and right now im giving you guys data so you can analyze and make suggestions that can help me. accurate data = better suggestions so its not bragging, i just have to tell you the truth good or bad for you to make best suggestions.
and i would gladly be less physically attractive to be more normal socially; its actually very ovverated being really good looking if you also have something like autism or asperger along with it so really not bragging since my Asperger kind of negates most of the benefits of having won genetic lottery looks wise.
anyways, if you guys have any questions i promise to be 100% honest (good or bad) in replying.
thank you for reading.