I rather figure out how can improve my sexual experience with women.
So that will be on the task list for this year.
If you experience stress and anxiety itās probably because you are afraid of something in the script and it does not feel comfortable to you.
For me sexual programs are also a little difficult because Iām inexperienced as I stated above so it does cause a little bit of stress, hence why I also decided to have this experience so that I can overcome that. In the past I would of probably stayed home.
Itās part of the script though manifesting new positive experiences. If my experience last night is not prove of that I do not know what is, also you can read back in this thread where I was doing 5 to 15 minutes and where I stated that I have this urge to get new experiences.
So a good week later it already begun manifesting.
But I gave it some time.
I feel like if the script triggers discomfort and fear you just need to give it a little bit of time and eventually you will take actions that help you face and overcome those fears through new experiences.
Now Iām probably not gonna run it for another week and then maybe go on a new adventure weāll see what happens, Iāve been chatting with some other girls who wanted to meet up but for the next few days I want to focus on some other things.
Thatās probably whatās happening, as Iām in a relationship, plus Iāve had my trauma with dating girls, being dumped etc, so itās probably pulling those up again and forcing me to confront them now with the apparent looks and approval I was getting.
Oh, so you are in a relationship thatās actually great because now you can begin to change that.
How would you look at all those past experiences when your girlfriend is obsessively in love with you and affirms to you every day how amazing you are?
Honestly, I am because I did not feel like the sexual experience left me with a āwoahā ā¦
I wonder if this program has some kind of self-honesty scripting because I seem to be going through a lot of honest self-assessment of my sexuality and the problems I still face with it, and if I want to (free will), I can actively seek to overcome those problems with new experiences.
Well, Iāll just keep using Wanted Black, I know my goal is to have super intense and blissful sexual encounters like the ones some people here often talk about.
Thatās why I was a little disappointed. I think I might have to manifest myself a girl that I have crazy chemistry with, because I know when we vibe doing regular activities that will translate into very good sex. And the energy of this girl last night maybe just wasnāt my thing.
Seems like Iām going through some reconciliation with all of this lol
Well this too shall pass as they say, letās see if I can manifest my goal of having a more blissful encounter.
Something that leaves me awestruck.
I canāt seem to just bond with a new girl overnight, it will probably need to be someone that I wish to grow a connection with.
I should probably carry this over to my private journal.
And the hotel wifi did not even work so I had to go down to the receptionist at 3 am and without hesitation he quickly gave me the private wifi instead, I then grabbed some sweets sitting in a big glass pot on the receptionist table and went my way back to the hotel room.
Same thing happened in the train, I bought my ticket online but was logged out to the train service app and coincidentally I consumed all my 4g this month so I could not show the QR code for my ticket. The train conductor, a women also did not hesitate or ask any questions but she quickly smiled and nodded that it was all fine.
Two weeks back running wanted black I came from the city and hopped on a train back home. The toilet on the trained was flagged with a warning but I did not care so I opened the door anyway, I put the paper in my pocket and used the toiletry, as I went out of the toilet the young train conductor came my way and I thought I was fucked because I took the paper sign warning me about something that was actually glued to the door as to prevent people using it.
She asked me ādid you just use the toiletā I just responded honestly, in my innocence I felt I might be able to work something out. Well, what a turn off events, she said she could not open the door and that it was stuck so she put a sign on there warning people that the toilet was out of order.
I winked and told her I fixed it for her, she was very thankful and blushed and could not believe her eyes because she was trying to fix that that automated door all day, and I just clicked the button and opened it like it was never broken. I did hide the sign in my pocket as I never read it, I just had to pee badly you know so I didnāt care to read anything. If it opens it works was my thought process lol
I thought maybe I was going to get thrown off the train for doing that as it was clearly a warning sign of sorts but eventually I was thanked for fixing the door lol.
I told her I should be hired by this train company as a specialised door fixer.
When she passed by to check our tickets we struck a very interesting conversation, she was on her last shift and the last stop was exactly where I had to get off. She seemed very interested.
The entire series of events was just a total manifestation.
She wished us goodnight. I could of probably taken it further but wasnāt comfortable with it at the time.
Just shows how profound the manifestation scripting in this program is.
And I donāt even feel like Iām strongly executing this program because today I have brain tension and little bit of pressure in the brain. And Iām questioning a lot of my sexuality.
These are not the only manifestations I had, there are more but I didnāt care to mention all of time as I never pulled anything off last time maybe out of an little bit of a fear because Iām inexperienced in this department.
Because another time it was a hot lady 10 years older than me and with 2 children, who was telling me all about her new appartement and how she broke up with her boyfriend two years ago and that sheās been single ever since, I had the impression she just wanted me to come with her to ācheck out her new appartementā
But Iām like almost 23 now so the children put me off lol
Thatās the thing, if you have this hole for validation inside of you, even if people say blatantly how awesome youāre are, you donāt believe them. Itās insane how our minds can filter things to maintain a reality that fits our subconscious limiting beliefs etc.
Yeah, so my goal is that even if I am not looking for sexual partners I still have validation and insecurities when it comes to sexuality. So Iām planning at some point to run the healing badass combo Khan/DR.
Thing with chosen I noticed unless you are in a leadership position, I felt it wasnāt worthwhile to truly fit it in my stack as I was spending (wasting) a lot of time leading others without being exchanged value. While I should be focused on earning more income and gaining more freedom.
It is great though, it gave me a lot of contentment and appreciation from others because of what I did for them, and how they felt I always came at the right time to provide the right advice but it wasnāt serving my financials goals as I did it freely and was not expecting an exchange for it. Maybe if I had a coaching business and monetised it, it would have been truly amazing!
So I think I will replace it with Genesis now.
I love Chosen though, it also manifested positions for me where I could step into a leadership role but to be absolutely honest, while I came across as competent, confident and very fitting for those positions, I have absolutely zero life experience to back it up.
And this is maybe why I felt like an imposter a little bit.
So I realised it is better to gain some experience first, in many areas of my life, and Iāve been feeling drawn to Genesis now.