Will Phoenix help deal with the massive amount of regret and pain I feel regarding past missed opportunities , mistakes made , and wasting time
@SaintSovereign @Fire @AnswerGroup?
Is that something Khan TB is better suited for?
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I feel this title would be great for you.
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Giving the Phoenix discussion a bump.
I didn’t run this at first because I thought it would be super rough and disruptive. Going through hardships for growth, it’s something I’m very familiar with and quite tired of having dealt with it for a large portion of my life.
But the funny thing is looking back all that hardship was a battle with myself. All the crap society imposed on me, all the fears, all the questioning if how I am was ok or not. I took everything from the outside and just gave myself death by 1000 cuts.
Before it was pain and forcing myself for the sake of others, so the payoff of everything still kinda sucked. Now I know that whatever trials I’m going through they are 100% for me. And that gives me more strength to go deeper into myself.
Life isn’t fair sometimes. I think sometimes in the past I tried to avoid the discomfort of how my life unfolded by trying to brainwash myself into believing I had more answers than i realistically did. I think my greatest lesson so far is that it’s ok to not know, to be lost or uncertain. Those are the feelings that are the greatest catalyst for change because it’s me stepping out of comfort zones and expanding my experience of life.
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I do that too, but I never thought it to be recon. It’s something to consider if it happens again in the future.
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@7empest Ran this for a loop yesterday. I felt really good today. Working on reframing past events and situations.
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That’s wonderful!
I had a moment this morning crying with my young self. Felt the Phoenix bloom effect paired with the updated LB. Wowza.
There were times where I didn’t feel safe or comforted as a young girl but this was partly a made up story by others and myself to gain attention.
I began to reframe/revise those experiences. I started remembering more love and care with family.
I used to question what was real and what was made up from my childhood.
Edit:
This inspired today’s journal entry.
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This sub has been both intense but freeing. I can see how staying on this long term you could end up in a neverending upwards spiral. The past few weeks just having experiences that line up and help me on my journey. It’s breaking those habituated patterns deep in my subconscious that are just expecting struggle and pain. The emotional intelligence and being able to unpack emotions vs held hostage by them has been great.
Looking back on my reluctance to run healing titles after a certain point. I think I was afraid of uncovering who I really was. But Phoenix just sets me up for freedom. It’s helping me deconstruct the identity that kept me safe for years. I don’t hold any judgement or anger towards that, I know it was necessary. For this title I think of it as less of burning away of the old self and more like an interconnection within myself and how all experiences of my life were real and valid. I know for years trying to deny or erase old undesirable behavior was just rejecting parts of myself that needed compassion.
I keep expecting things to take a nosedive. This is one of my sticking points. Happiness and positivity has been such a fleeting thing in my life when it sticks around for more than a couple days I start getting suspicious.
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Let me put this worry to rest, the journey of self discovery we call life is an upward spinning spiral, until the journey gets far enough that you are discovering yourself past your human identity and are learning in a conscious state, some of the difficulties you’ve experienced in the past will be revisited but the spiral keeps going up either way because even though some lessons need lots of repetitions to be learned fully, you are evolving in so many subtle ways at every moment.
And one day when certain core lessons are learned and enough pieces of the puzzle are put together and the picture of your self start to make more sense and become clearer it becomes very exciting, enjoyable and easy to find the missing pieces and finish the puzzle.
Any negativity/suffering left becomes a clear guide to the missing pieces, the voice of your true self in disguise, and then you realise there was never any darkness and it was all a play of light.
I’m at a point in my life where I am enjoying deeply every negative feeling, every depressive thought, because the light at the end of the tunnel is so bright that I am getting nostalgic at the darkness that still surrounds me but that I know will soon be gone for good.
As my true power awakens, my inner Emperor looks at my small little conditioned self with tenderness and nostalgia.
I still have a lot of stuff to clear but boy I’ve never been so happy in my life, and I can already feel a constant state of happiness and joy is the least exciting thing I’m about to experience!!
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I wrote here positive review back in time about some fears and blocks vanished. I used Phoenix for 3 cycles.
Hovewer all of those came back now. Some of those fears are not so traumatic moments, yet they still came back. They happened just year or two ago, but reframing past adversities didn’t work.
Thus now I wondering, if withstanding recon and those things related to healing subs are worth it.
Maybe one need to commit to healing more time I dare to say 6 months, and then evaluate results.
But for me, that rises a question, if some little traumas, blocks and fears are even worth it to commit oneself into so much time listening to healing subs, while withstanding the recons. I think not.
Of course your experience may vary, as this is my understanding and results.
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Well, running Phoenix for 3 cycles may be just not enough to get to the root and eradicate it, leading to remission only. Perhaps, some other work needs to get done. Like working with alpha titles or Sanguine, for example.
I ran Phoenix for two months, starting upon its release, and all the crap it helped me cleared out didn’t come back.
Now, there may be various reasons for that, but perhaps realizing the root of that crap and working on it consciously (rational pondering) was the most essential factor. It’s hard to tell as healing is a complex process. Then experiences that fostered those revelations were vital as well.
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In my experience, pheonix gives instant emotional relief AND permanently removes past traumas (this permanent healing process is at the maximum possible speed that a subconscious could be reprogrammed, but its still kinda slow).
I’ve found out the best way to heal trauma is to do this in order:
- run pheonix (a microloop also works)
- in the same day u’ve run pheonix, do the thing that triggers ur trauma
- feel the pain fully. do not dissociate from the pain or escape it in any way.
- after like 20 mins of u fully feeling the pain, the pain resides and u feel a newfound strength. The next time that thing happens, the emotional response will not be as intense. Viola, u just healed a major trauma (in like 20 mins).
Also, another reason for “all your traumas coming back” could be: (here is my theory) (disclaimer for unverified head canon)
its not the traumas that pheonix already healed thats coming back. What u r seeing is just a coping behaviour to your deepest traumas. These coping behaviours may seem like old already healed traumas but these behaviours don’t contain any tangled emotions behind them. U just do these coping behaviours coz they prevent ur deeper unhealed traumas from being triggered which would result in u having an unpleasant emotional response.
The solution to this is what i’ve mentioned above: fully feeling the pain anytime it arises and letting pheonix sort through this intense emotional response.
Again, this is all unverified hypothesis and what works for me.
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When I started with Phoenix I was in a deep hole. Only I didn’t realize it at that time.
I ran Phoneix for about 2 months.
No major trauma vanished.
I didn’t feel miraculously better.
So I dropped it. Because I thought I needed something else.
Then the blooming started.
Still, no traumas vanished and I didn’t feel miraculously better.
BUT I started to understand what was wrong. I started to understand how things feom my past fit together and created the subpar life I lived.
I realized that I was missing self worth and self love. So I started LB. And now the miracles started to happen.
So for me Phoenix wasn’t about active clearing, but rather preparing me for understanding what’s actually wrong and how to tackle it. And it works.
Perhaps, when I run Phoenix the next time, it will be different, perhaps I’ll even experience something like @oloy.
But right now, I’m pleased how Phoenix worked.
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Initially i couldn’t feel the pain fully, simply coz it was too much.
(Disclaimer: introspection in this paragraph that may or may not help u)
This is what i used to do:
After pheonix helped me understand what was wrong wid me emotionally, i would come up wid frameworks for behaving to help me deal wid triggering situations. The thing is, after a few days, the frameworks i made stopped working then i’d come up wid a new framework for behaviour and so on. (They stopped working coz the trauma that was being circumvented (by me doing certain things / doing certain behaviours) healed up and a deeper trauma was revealed).
Nowdays, the pain i feel on anything that used to hurt me is way way less. And I recently realised that pain is what shows me where the emotional trauma is. Rather than finding ways to deal wid the pain, pheonix seems works better when i feel everything and let pheonix handle the restructuring of my emotions.
Btw, I’m happy to hear that LB is working for u @Lichtenauer . And thank you for sharing your experience with pheonix.
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Very thoughtful posts guys, each of you. Thanks for your understanding and sharing your knowledge.
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I want to ask you a question if you don’t mind, do you feel the emotions that come up - no matter how bad/hurtful they are and how deep do you feel them? If you are unwilling to face the emotions consciously it’s probably because you are unable to face them subconsciously - and it won’t go away unless you feel it in its full intensity.
This is the process of reconciliation.
I have this problem and I realised it recently as I am quite the guy with bad emotional intelligence but I am starting to make good progress in that area.
Emotions are not there to hurt you or cause you harm, but to give you wisdom. All the problems in your life are reflected in your emotions. You handle emotions, you can handle all problems.
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I’m currently stacking Phoenix with Genesis Mogul. Thirty second loops. I know it’s going to take time as much as I wish it would go quickly. I was raised by people that had no emotional control and probably the worst money habits a person can have. I know the combination of the two and my own far from favorable choices are what has put me where I am currently.
Phoenix has started helping me to stop being so focused on the past and what is outside of my control.
I’m doing this stack the same way anyone would run a two title zp stack as recommended in the listening instructions.
I’m not expecting miracles just paving the road
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We’re all pulling for your success.
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Has anyone tried new khan st1 and new phenix together?
I wonder what would compliment khan st1 best, i want some hardcore blockages melting, from reading replies it seems phenix didnt do much for some people
I feel you man. I’ve had so many releases (feeling relief) these past days I just want to push even harder. But I think that impatience might hurt me more than do good. Kinda addicting.
I was thinking of Phoenix too, but from the warnings I’ve seen, it might hit really hard especially together with ST1 of both khans.
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