I really do appreciate you taking the time to give me a different perspective
I was reading your post out loud while on the phone with my girl and she agrees with me thinking deeper about this part (in regards to my current feelings towards Khan and WB):
My surface level answer would be: I love the short term pleasure I get from it.
My deeper answer is: I don’t find the development I got from running those to need any more extra development and/or focus, as I’m at a point in my life where I have not just reached the peak of my self-development (in terms of sexuality and everything related to that specific area), but also it’s just a crutch that I rely on out of fear.
The fear that I’m referring to here, which might surprise some people, is the fear of not being as good in other areas of my life, because of which I end up focusing on the thing that I’m already leagues above others at, and keep myself content with that instead, which is also why whenever I dip my feet in any other sub that isn’t related to sexual prowess, and even at times when I just get thoughts about my life and myself (even without any subs), I end up feeling like I’m just wasting my resources on something that is already at its peak (plus it’s not even a goal for me, I just do it for the pleasure if I’m being honest).
Yes, I agree, and I would have 100% said that I feel like it implies to my job too, but that would have been last year, cause that job was good, but it wasn’t really what I wanted deep down, which is how I ended up manifesting my dream job (where I work currently), hence why I don’t agree with that statement if we’re strictly talking about my specific job.
The reason I say that is because I work in the sports industry, and as a fitness enthusiast, nothing makes me happier than the work I do, for example: currently I’m working on the preparation for an event that will be held on the 1st of October, for the World Walking Day, and this year, we’re targeting young kids from elementary schools to join us, and as an organizer, I’ve been in contact with the biggest organizations around my country (including the biggest health clinic chain) to make sure that every kid joining us that day gets filled with the passion to make healthier lifestyle choices.
That’s just one of the examples as to why I love my work, and want to focus on my career more, cause at the end of the day, the purpose I believe in, is that my life gives me opportunities to inspire people, as well as spread moments of joy, to uplift them.
So is that not a good area to focus on ?