Oef this experimental is something else. LBfH did almost nothing for me before, but this one hits like nothing I’ve experienced before. Maybe because I combined it with CFW experimental.
Woke up furious in the morning. Did 1 loop of CFW and LBfH and went to the gym to let it out. Yesterday I drank 1 beer, nothing weird. But when I was going to the gym I had this thought in my mind that went “Why in the hell do I even drink that? Why Do I harm myself with something I do not need?”. And of course, while sitting on the treadmill to warm up, Andrew Huberman, podcast about alcohol popped up in on my screen. Listened for 2 hours and decided I will not drink anymore. Not out of anger, but out of pure self-love.
Went home, and start doing some yoga nidra out of nowhere. Felt this warm feeling in my chest. It feels like getting out of my head and into my body. Going from thinking to feeling. I was sitting on the couch and felt this intense warm feeling of love in my body. Then something weird happens. I started to think about my family. Not my parents, but my family outside my parents. I miss them dearly, but I had no idea I missed them. Started to almost cry, I was tearing up like I have not done since I was 13. The tears kept coming instead of stopping after 1 or 2.
I can’t explain to you the relief that I’m feeling right now. I wanted to scream and fight this morning. All this stuck up energy in my heart and throat. There is a lot of pain and grief left, but even releasing 10% feels like letting go of a heavy burden.
Lastly, started to text a good friend of mine how much I love him and thanked him for everything that he does for me. Expressing my gratitude to the people I have in my life.
The not so nice part is feeling like I should break up with my girlfriend. I think this has to do with feeling so much self-love and self-validation, that I don’t need somebody else to feel whole. I want to have a girlfriend in the future that is as spiritual as me and completely understands who I am and accepts me for it.
This powerful beyond measures 