Liminality custom Qv2

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#288

Taking an extended break from all subs. I don’t like what this has turned into for me. It’s entirely my fault, but I keep playing out the same insecurities without getting to the root.

Point being, and I’ve brought this up before, this journey of improvement should be for me. To make my life better, to feel better about myself, to find freedom for myself.

What it has turned into. A competition of outrunning all the fear, guilt, and shame due to being behind everyone else in my life. My primary drive seems to always have been fueled by fear of being perceived as a failure. Sometimes I can’t even tell what decisions I make are for me, it’s that bad.

I probably should have taken a break or eased up on my listening months ago, but I didn’t. Why? Because I was less concerned with feeling better and more concerned with being better. The insecurities fueled my behavior that weren’t good for me or productive.

I don’t know how long this break will last. Maybe a week, two, maybe a month who knows. But I’m just taking the pressure off of myself to get back on a listening schedule as fast as possible to see what my mind really has to reconcile with.

Im just really tired of this anxiety I create for myself trying to prove to other people around me all the time I’m not some screw up in life.

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#289

I may have posted this already, but I’m wondering if you’re in an ongoing reconciliation. Would you please send a support ticket to inquire about what might be the reason for your ongoing reconciliation and what you might do about it?

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#290

I don’t believe you’ve mentioned it before. But I will do that. Thanks for the suggestion.

#291

Thank you. And would you please post the reply here, as well as the thread for support ticket responses, because I’m thinking others might benefit.

@Meng123 Would you please watch this thread to post what might be done to help people who seem to have ongoing reconciliation? Although I think this is a minority of people, for that minority it seems very uncomfortable.

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#292

Been feeling better. Going to continue my break. Not sure if I’m coming back to this custom or not. If I weigh the amount of reconciliation I’ve been through with the amount of growth I’ve experienced it’s way too unbalanced. Speaking honestly I’m tired of doing this. Even before subclub this was the routine. Bust my ass, feel like crap, and then hope at some point in the future it all gets better. But what really matters to me nowadays is the present moment. If I can’t enjoy that because I’m going through deep psychological distress in hopes of being better, it’s not worth it.

It’s just always an underlying feeling of needing to prove myself so I subject myself to this pain to I prove how much I can handle I guess. It’s dumb, it’s harmful, and it’s just full of ego and insecurity. I’d be better off choosing a strategy for growth that works better for me. Whatever that is I’m not sure at this point.

#293

@RVconsultant I’m not sure which thread you were referring to, but here’s the response I got back from support.

Hey,

Thanks for reaching out to us. Checking out your stack, it appears to be pretty well balanced. How many loops are you running and what is your listening pattern? Sometimes we can be listening to too much or even high volume can make reconciliation difficult. Here is a link to our new listening pattern: https://support.subliminalclub.com/knowledge-base/new-listening-pattern-how-many-loops-needed/. This may help reduce the affects of recon. Also here is a link to an article from our support page with some tips on how to deal with recon: https://support.subliminalclub.com/knowledge-base/what-is-subliminal-resistance-and-how-do-i-deal-with-it/.

You may want to cut back on the amount of loops you’re listening to or a complete subliminal washout for at least 30 days. This will allow you to continue to process without overloading yourself. When you choose to reintroduce subliminal’s, use the new listening pattern. If you experience the same results, then go back to major titles and continue to work on your subliminal foundation. I hope I was able to answer your questions today and provide some insight. Please feel free to reach out to us again if anything else is needed.

Thank you,

SubClub

For reference here’s my initial ticket. I don’t know if this was too in depth for a support ticket or a tricky issue, but aside from advising me to complete a washout and go back to a major title a lot of it stuff I’m already very familiar with. I’m just hoping a washout is enough and I’m not dealing with a fundamental issue that makes all subliminal input more difficult for me.

Hi, I was advised to put in a ticket for a potential issue I’m having with ongoing reconciliation. I’m currently running a custom with a focus on supportive and healing modules with ascension as the base. I thought I’d be able to handle it, but it seems like even that I’m struggling with. With QV2 it seems I can handle about a loop a week and sometimes even that can be too much at times. I’ve recently decided to take an extended break to see just how much I need to process. My biggest concern here is that I’m pushing myself too hard and my current strategy is both ineffective and incredibly stressful on me. There have been a few realization I’ve had recently that made me realize I’m stuck in a kind of loop of not getting to core issues that I need to address.

With that being said, I’m looking for help to figure out a better plan of action to help me improve my life without leading me into intense reconciliation episodes that almost render me unable to function. If a custom might be too much for me and I’d be better off with one of the main store titles. Or if I need to spend more time healing. I’ve been using subclubs subs for a while now and while I’ve had growth I’ve had to fight very hard for it. Something seems off to me, but I’m not quite certain what it is.

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Unofficial frequently asked questions
#294

Did the reply address your concerns?

Did it give you a plan you can try with the hope of finding some relief?

#295

@Meng123 would you please archive the above:

#296

Ok,archived

#297

A little. I’m going to try a washout for 30 days and see what happens. Depending how that goes after I might be going back to a major title if the custom still isn’t doable.

#298

What didn’t get answered for you?

#299

It’s not really something anyone can answer at this point I think. The washout is good advice, but I’ve never done that so I don’t know how it’ll actually effect me.

I think following through with that and then reassessing things is the gameplan for me. I am under heavy reconciliation right now and not in the right state of mind to address what will or won’t work for me.

I don’t like being “that guy” when it comes to difficulty with change from subliminals, but it’s a common theme in my life. I’m not blaming anyone or saying I haven’t changed, it’s just been pretty frustrating for me. I’m trying but I can’t help but feel sometimes I’m not trying hard enough. Just more upset with myself than anything.

#300

You’re not that guy. If you are criticizing yourself, please stop. We are here to help. Subliminals are here to help, and so is customer service. And if I can, then I do my best to help as well.

Is there anything else at this point we might be able to help with or clarify?

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#301

Thanks. I am going through a rough time. All my terrible habits are coming out. One of which is when I push away when people try to help. I get self destructive. I’m sorry if this gets long but I have to get what’s on my mind out of my head.

There’s just a lot going on in my head right now. I can’t tell if the negative behavior is a sort of detox or it’s a reaction to not having enough reinforcement from the custom I’m running and the more self destructive part of myself is squeezing through the cracks over the foundation I was building. I’m pretty much incapable of gauging what it is. Usually I go by intuition but I don’t trust that because the supposed “right” answers could just be a tactic from the parts of my mind attempting to escape from the influence of the sub.

Basically I’m stuck at a crossroads of not knowing what’s the best option for myself because I can’t trust myself. I have such a powerful self development tool at my disposal but it feels like a live firearm I don’t have sufficient training on. And I feel this way because it seems like Qv2 is a lot to process for me as an individual. I really don’t know if what I’m feeling is what other people feel as far as the power of Qv2 goes. But it seems like I’m unable to tell when to back off or move forward and it messes with my progress. I’m convinced I’m not using Qv2 correctly and efficiently for myself but I have no solid answer for what that is. You can see in some of my journal entries patterns of doubt that creep in that either cause me to make bad changes (too loud, or too quiet volume) or alter my schedule that works against me (listening at night, causing me to stay up later, worse sleep, less overall processing of the sub). What was a “good” idea is uncovered later on as a diversionary tactic that I couldn’t see at the time or make a valid decision to offset it.

So this is all a lot for a support ticket. And further a lot of it is a jumbled mess of recon sprinkled with half truths that I can’t always pick out. I did my best to express clearly what’s going on but I feel like it is has the articulation the equivalent of a blurred audio of a crowd all speaking at once. A lot of noise but not much distinguishable main point. Unfortunately one of my biggest issues I’m learning is an inability to both identify and express how I’m feeling without some massive word vomit.

I do a lot of assuming reading others journals. There’s definitely some projection there on my part. Basically I wonder if what I’m dealing with and feeling is that unique of a case or this is just textbook stuff saint and fire have witnessed a million times and I just can’t get a handle on it.

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#302

This current experience seems to have come after starting that pinpointed (great) custom that you created recently.

I’d say experiment with rest durations and even play lengths (as in, 15 minutes first).

Then what makes the whole thing work (and what I’m working on) is switching your focus to the activities that represent change and growth for you. My goal is to place my main attention there. (In other words, to let the subliminals be as subliminal as possible.) I’m not quite there yet.

One thing seems clear: right now it’s time for a rest. It would be great if you could do something like swimming, hiking, sweat lodge, dancing. Something that deepens your breathing, grounds you in the body, raises your heart rate, and lets you sweat things out.

(I’m expecting you to take this with all of the grains of salt that should always accompany Internet (or any, really) suggestions.)

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#303

R E C O N C I L I A T I O N

Are you using the new listening pattern? Much easier on the subconscious. Also, take a short washout, but be prepared to run a single loop if the reconciliation gets worse. Some people report having really bad recon while washing out. In this case, the “single loop” method tends to help.

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#304

Earlier this year when I was doing at least 2 loops of EmpQ everyday with the weekends off, I was in the same spot wondering if this thing even works and I was having severe cases of procrastination when Emperor is supposed to make me more productive, right? Then I decided to take a whole month off. The crazy thing is that even after a week into the washout, I was still having weird dreams at night and I was still clearly processing the sub. And that’s after a week of not listening to the track.
Now I’m doing 1 loop every 2 days and doing fine.

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#305

How did the rest of your washout go? After that first week? Did you notice any other experiences or feelings related to continued processing? And by the end of the month, did you feel that your mind had basically returned to neutrality or were you aware of continued processing for the entire month?

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#306

@Malkuth I agree. I’ve never had a pinpointed custom shake me so hard.

I really need to start doing physical stuff. My biggest issue is I have no real inertia for any of it. Feels like every day I’m just trying to catch up from the previous day and it turns into a “I’ll do this tomorrow, I’m too tired today”.

It’s definitely rest I need mentally. I’m not physically tired. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just like pure burnout, my brain has trouble putting together and executing plans. I used to have a heavy bag I would just practice on that got me into the zone, but I just haven’t had space for one lately. I just need to do something anything, the less I have to actually plan out or put together the better. The immediacy of practicing technique on a heavy bag is hard to beat.

@SaintSovereign I’m technically not really even doing the new listening pattern because it’s too much for me. I usually can only listen to 1 or 2 loops total a week generously spaced out which I’ve stuck with for the most part. So I guess that’s where the confusion lies, if this is even enough for me.

If the recon does get worse during the washout I’ll try the single loop. I can definitely attest to the fact that longer periods of not listening has the effect of really putting me through hell. And I’ve definitely operated under the assumption I needed to stay away from the sub more which could have just been a way to keep me away from growth.

#307

You can flip that one around.

It’s one of those illusions.

The exercise, even in one workout, is going to give you energy. That’s why you’re going to it. Try that. Thinking of it as plugging in to something that gives you energy, not something that takes your energy.

On a superficial level, sure, it takes your energy and you may feel a certain tiredness. But on cellular, mental, and emotional levels (and more), it’s actually infusing you with energy. In the short-term and the long-term.

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