That has been my limited experience too, although I would add there are different types of insecurity or confusion that can arise and not all of them lead to testing. I’ll give an example or two.
Back in 2021, I reconnected with a woman I had known during 2017/2018. Good skin, nice smell, good hair etc… tattoos… the epitome of what you might consider sexy in that racial type. I hadn’t been out for a drink with a lady in months. We got to hopping the local bars, the classy expensive type and ended up consuming two bottles between us.
Fueled by this wine, she opens up about a guy she says she really loves asking for my advice. That was test number one. Then there was test number two, acting more drunk than they probably were and completely ignoring me as we walk to find transportation in the city, flirting with every guy she passes and even grabbing their butt. During this time she is calling the mother of her child, abusing him on the phone and then asking him to come get her, calling him baby daddy.
What an impartial observer wouldn’t see from all this is that the lady had previously been homeless for a period of time, and eventually moved in with an immature housemate in one of our more “hard” suburbs, who happened to be a bit of a gangster wannabe, fell in with him for protection, and ended up getting knocked up by him, but didn’t want him as the father because she didn’t respect him. So she was still shopping around.
In my case, despite how much I had to drink, and my protective nature, her behavior was bad enough that I would never have wanted to be in a relationship with that, no matter how good looking she is or how good she might be in bed. The tests were clearly there to see how I would react to the behavior that they wanted to continue, and see if I was the right match to take over from the guy she was with. I left her on the street for baby daddy to come pick up after she tried to further embarrass me, slurring her speech as she yelled out to noone who cared, and took the train home.
There’s two take homes from this story. Number one is the reality check: just because someone s-tests you, doesn’t mean you need to respond in a way that’s going to please them. The testing is a two way street, and men can have standards or tests too. Call out bad behavior when you see it, but don’t overdo it. Know that if you are working to better yourself, you have value and deserve respect and to be joined with someone that has value to you also. In a way shooting down someone who goes overly hard on the testing or who doesn’t treat you with respect is winning, show you’re not just going to jump the bones of any pretty face you see and indeed for the smart woman this is a status thing because people with high standards don’t tend to sleep around once they’re in a relationship. Nor do they don’t have time because they’re focused on having a good life.
And number two is that you don’t know what has stirred up a woman’s subconscious in the course of a social interaction, even if you think you know them really well, and simultaneously you should be congruent with who you are. All you control is your own behavior, not theirs, so you are the one in control. Feeling this kind of frame will probably be helped a lot by subs like Emperor/EB and will help you to not be affected negatively by testing.
This is so true. Mind is the forerunner of all, so being relaxed starts in your mind. Even most so called High status men are too much in their heads, and these thoughts creates tension in mind and which transfers to your body. Just watch most guys that are stressed, you can see the tension escaping in their body language and micro expressions.
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