I feel this man. Washouts are so great for me because of this one reason. Truly contemplating moving to a very liberal and infrequent listening schedule, the results are abundant
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I didn’t see it yesterday,
But I see it today
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Just got two important insights:
-
The two well-paying speaking engagements that seemed to fall into my lap this month were not just money-manifestations. (Honestly, after including the amount of work I put in ahead of time, I didn’t end up ‘making’ such an incredible amount.) Those were also business teachings. They were developing my awareness of business models. Specifically, I was paid about $330 for each hour. And the key point is the two talks were underwritten by a grant. That’s the part I’m taking note of now. Grant-based funding not as the entirety of income, but as one potential element of a business model.
-
Introverted results. I am highly-introverted. It’s a simple fact. That’s the skew of my personality. And what struck me was this: A highly introverted nature may express results first in a highly introverted fashion. I was reflecting on the past 3-5 years of Change Effort. (I just mean working to bring about changes in my life.) My most profound result to date in my time of working with subliminals, etc., is the development that has occurred in my vision for my life. It has become deeper and at the same time more tangible and actionable. I forget this sometimes when I’m in a state of tiredness or discouragement. But it is true nonetheless.
And my point is that this feels like one way that results might naturally develop for a highly-introverted person. My Nature itself is skewed towards Internal Vision and processing. In no way am I saying that I cannot or will not take action. It’s more that for an introvert like me, the very first action is often going to be the articulation and refinement of Vision and Plan.
In August 2019, I saw a video about the newly released Alchemist multi-stage. This strongly attracted me to Sub Club.
In September 2019, I started my journey with Ecstasy of Gold. (In October 2017, I started my journey with Magick, which ultimately led me to Sub Club. But that’s a different conversation.) Ecstasy of Gold, led me to spend a year working with Alchemist and Quantum Limitless. That was June 2020 to May 2021.
From March 2021 to November 2021, I attended an 8-month training on Clinical Hypnosis by Dr. Michael Yapko. I found myself inspired, motivated, and focused in ways that I had not been for quite some time. It brought tangible clarity to my vision (even though I was not yet ready for focused action or building).
This was a major shift that is reverberating to this day.
If you’re reading this, please look beyond the specific words or examples. I’m trying to point to something deeper. It’s not about the course, it’s about the galvanization of my focus, vision, and motivation. It’s going to lead me to further places and steps, that I’ve not yet conceived. But the energy itself of the focusing, of the grounding… That I can clearly recognize.
And I realized that These Were Results.
My own Introverted Version of results.
The real-world correlates will come. I’ll make moves and establish initiatives and enact projects.
But from my introverted perspective, those are almost just ‘follow up’.
And it’s important for me to recognize and to stand in my nature’s style of creating and experiencing change, growth, and results.
Recognizing that with more acuity will actually strengthen the changes and growth that I experience going forward.
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I just upgraded my 3 ZPv1 custom subs to ZPv2.
And…
Here we go
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People who courageously face limitations and work with them honestly, lose in the beginning and win in the end.
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At their essence, relationships are about communication and interaction.
A high-quality relationship is one with high-quality communication and interaction.
That’s it.
All of the other things that people focus on, sexiness, wealth, fame, attractiveness…they’re all great; they’re fine.
But if you’re using those things as distractions from the actual essence of interaction and communication, then all you’re doing is postponing the inevitable. Sooner or later, reality will assert itself.
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Pretty sure this time around I’ll be working straight through Christmas and New Year.
I’m okay with it as long as I can get all of these things done. Am mostly working from home, so I can see my son.
One thing is that due to how busy and time-dominating work has been over the past month, I have not had much time for study or practice. So Sage Immortal and Quantum Limitless have brought me a lot of resources and I have very limited chances to practice them so far.
On the positive side, one very cool thing that I’ve noticed is that my legs are gradually strengthening and my knee pain has decreased significantly in the taijiquan form. I can go into a deeper stance. And that’s with relatively low frequency of practice so far. In fact, the low frequency was probably good since it gives my body a chance to heal and adjust. Just had time for one quick round of form practice in the park, and the change in my knee situation is beautiful.
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NOTE TO SELF:
Subliminals are ONE PART of your plan.
NOW,
WHERE’S THE REST OF IT?
(And if you don’t have a plan, then here’s your plan: play Medici or Mastermind and go work on creating a plan.)
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My 3 customs have now been upgraded to ZP v2.
Scheduled to resume playing on Saturday 31 December 2022.
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Result:
The same organization that randomly contacted me last month to give two talks two weeks ago, contacted me again yesterday to request that I give the same two talks in early February.
Once again, I have agreed.
There are a number of modules to which I could attribute this manifestation, but I think I’ll choose:
- which includes creating NEW channels and pathways for revenue
(from Emperor)
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Meditation (with stack): 9:10 am to 10:10 am
Today was my first day back since 14 December. And now I’ve got ZPv2 programs playing. It felt smooth and easy. Which is saying something since these are three 20-module Terminus2 customs. As I’ve been doing, I played all three programs back to back. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I want them to process and integrate together. I don’t know if this will make the entire process slower and more gradual. But I’ve been playing them this way since 1 October 2022. So I think they are actively processing right now.
This morning I woke up and got up to meditate. After it was done, I still felt a little tired, so I laid down for a half-hour longer. Then got up to start the day. Lots of work to do.
Had a long end-of-year talk with my sister (we’re good friends). Now I’m at the computer and going to first do one task and then prioritize the others.
I think I’m going to list out my modules here. I just like doing it.
NAISSANCE ZPv2
The Alchemist
Sage Immortal
Harmonic Singularity
Spiritual Reality Alignment
The Single Point
Khronos Key
Metamorphosis
Avatar
Immortal’s Blade
Immortal’s Courage
Awakened Perception
Spiritual Freedom
Starfilled Night
Gratitude Embodiment
The Wonder
Yggdrasil
Jupiter
The Merger of Worlds
Ascension Chamber
Void of Creation
Sapiens ZPv2
Emperor
Quantum Limitless
Entranced
Wisdom Personified
Eagle Eye
Empath
Mercy Protocol
Way of Understanding
Whispered Power
Chiron
Story Teller
Polyglot
Ultimate Writer
Trailblazer
Technological Prodigy
Instant Business Tactician
Carpe Diem Ascended
Productivity Unleashed
Victory’s Call
Mountain Breaker
PATHS ZPv2
Ecstasy of Gold Complete
Emperor: The House of Medici
Financial Success Reality Shifter
Unrelenting Wealth Motivation and Energy
Sultan
Debt Annihilator
Wealth Limit Destroyer
Positive Being Attractor - Wealth
Secrets of Akasha - Wealth
R.I.C.H.
Dynasty
Secret Source
Mystery
Mastermind
The Lines
The Way of ROI
Organization Perfected
Machine: Action
Machine: Rest
Purity Without
And there it is.
2023
Here we come
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Introverted Feeling is almost like one of those Pasta Maker appliances:
Subjective Experiencing goes in one side and Integrated Meaning comes out the other.
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Something’s happening. And I don’t know what it is.
When I ran Dragon Reborn, I started to get these powerful gusts of processing of past relationships, sometimes there would be a strong nostalgia or a visceral re-experiencing of the sensations of that time. Not like when you’re just retelling yourself a story, but more like literally reliving. What hypnotists might call “revivification”.
That makes sense with Dragon Reborn since it’s activating complexes and dissolving internal blocks.
I found a similar thing happening to me today. Just now.
I had my first love relationship when I was 18. In the end, she was ignoring me or blowing me off to spend time with people with whom she preferred to spend time. She graduated college a year before I did, and I’d skipped a year of school earlier. So she was 1.5 to 2 years older than me. Things ended not too long after she’d graduated. The point is she was moving into another phase of her life and figuring out who she was going to be in her adult version.
The ending was that we went on a big trip with a large group of other people. She was more connected to these people than I was. But I tried to get involved as best I could.
We actually travelled by road and went through 3 or 4 cities performing.
We ended up as our final destination at a kind of convention or large gathering kind of thing. Other similar groups who had been doing the same thing from other locations all converged there. This was something that she was really embracing at that time. A new community that she was in the process of joining. So there was a lot for her to do and to pay attention to. And it was that much easier for her to distance me.
By that point, I’d already felt stabbed in the gut by something she’d said to me about a month earlier. One of those harsh comments on the other person that people make in anger in relationships. It cut me to the core at that time. Caused me to question my worth and my potential. But I was still not done.
I remember that during that large summit gathering, I finally decided to give it one more shot. Hadn’t really talked to her much for a couple of days I think. That would have been fine if we’d been in a good place, but we weren’t. And I was feeling like I didn’t exist.
I finally screwed up my determination and went to talk to her.
I think she was at a table with 6 other people in an outdoor area where there were probably 50 other people.
I walked to her and said some version of ‘we need to talk/I want to talk’. Her response was not even unfriendly. It was just like talking to someone who doesn’t matter. I don’t remember what it was. I don’t remember most of everything. haha. But what I do know is that she blew me off.
I said, 'Okay."
Went back to my room, bought a plane ticket. Flew out the next morning. Ditched the lot of them.
I don’t think we ever actually had the break-up conversation.
But I stopped calling her after that.
I remember that she needed someone to help her move into a new apartment at one point, and I drove over to help her. But I didn’t reconnect with her emotionally.
There were a few other things, but that’s the basic idea.
During Dragon Reborn, I remembered more about her, and more moments with her, and felt that I’d forgiven.
That was 2021 sometime, maybe August or something? Or maybe later.
But about an hour ago, a song suddenly popped into my mind. And I remembered that during the time when I was deeply in love with her that album was the soundtrack. That one, and also The Cocteau Twins - Heaven or Las Vegas.
Really good music.
And then I remembered vividly what it had been like in that phase of just falling in love. This is a really, really long time ago.
I don’t know what triggered all of this, but it’s clearly stuff being processed in my deep mind and in my memory.
That’s amazing.
Today is Monday. I resumed my subliminal stack on Saturday morning. So it fits.
But it sure is interesting to wonder what the heck is actually going on inside me.
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Posting this again:
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Malkuth how do you meditate when you do ?
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Feeling kind of pissed that I worked slowly today.
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I do it every day.
I sit quietly for one hour and focus on remembering what is (phenomenologically) real.
This involves attention to the flow of sensations (including the sensations of ‘time’ and ‘thought’ and everything else in there/here).
Don’t know if that makes sense. It will make more sense if you just sit and try it for 1 minute. Or if you’ve already done it.
To some extent, I also drop and release excess tension.
Mind is a bunch of actual processes. You can literally sit and observe them working. Or walk and observe them walking. Or stand and observe them working. Or…
and so on.
if not clear, tell me, and I’ll try again.
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I’ve had a few responses in the last day or so that seem like recon.
Heightened emotionality/nostalgia.
Irritability
stressed, intolerant feelings
immune response
Each one of them had possible situational causes/explanations. But as all of them occurred together, I got that ‘hmmm…’ feeling.
‘This seems suspiciously like Recon, doesn’t it?’
“But I’ve been playing this identical stack twice a week since 1 October.”
“Wait a minute. This is the first time you’ve played the upgraded to ZPv2 versions. Maybe it’s hitting more purely.”
??!
"Whoa…"
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If this is recon, then:
- I’ll take that as encouraging sign. I usually don’t feel much of anything.
- I’ll step up my exercise as soon as I’m able. I have been walking as always, but in the last 2 or 3 weeks, it has been primarily indoors. And I know that is an inferior option. Less breathing. Less exertion. And fewer intuitive insight hits.
Today is supposed to be my next subliminal day, but I think I’ll hold off until tomorrow and see how things feel.
There’s a 10 AM meeting today that’s a little bit stressful. Seems like it might be a good day to keep things calm.
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Kind of in a strange space. I think it’s good to write about it/write through it, since it can leave a kind of record for myself or others who may read this.
I survived my morning meeting. It was run by me, but was more of an administrative meeting. I was aware that I was not as prepared as I wanted to be. But it basically did what it needed to do.
[Another astrology key:
My Saturn is placed in Gemini. And one expression of that is being quite reticent. Holding back communication. I’ve worked on that for a long time. And now I’m getting more chances to work on it.]
Some of the responsibilities that have landed in my life now are very dependent on my being able to communicate enough and at the right times.
I have the feeling that I am being supported and guided through this. It’s somewhat uncanny. And boy am I grateful for it.
Well, this is going to be interesting. 2023 is already feeling like a very different energy from 2022. It looks like I’m going to need to pay attention and to walk carefully, but that, at the same time, doing so will enable many more opportunities to unfold and enter my life.
And throughout all of that my spiritual big brothers/sisters have my back and are helping me through it.
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