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Aziz! LIGHT!
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??? And more characters.
Yes. Great movie
ok…no subs yesterday (“rest day” and all).
Today was Love Bomb, Libertine, Emperor day. All Zero Point.
I also listened to an audio I have that is for reframing behavioral choices. Cthulhu knows I need that.
Prior to running anything, I got some business advice from a friend. I didn’t react well to the advice. Recon anger. Like bad enough I was driving and had to stop at the library parking lot and just relax. Heart rate was through the roof.
I needlessly extrapolated from that bit of advice to a larger set of possible problems that could arise. Definitely seemed like recon from running Love Bomb, Libertine and Mogul on Wednesday.
I took a break from life, listened to my behavioral reframing audio and then today’s ZP stack.
Felt fine after.
As I was running the stuff, I imagined some sexy fun time with Zelda on a whim. Been kinda suppressing stuff about her lately since I have no real way of seeing her now that she’s gone.
I felt amazing after imagining up the sexy fun time. I think maybe pushing down the stuff about Zelda hasn’t been such a great idea. I’ll just own that it’s still there for now.
Another part of what I did whilst running the stack was to just watch a tree blowing in the wind. I was parked at the local library.
Watching trees blowing in the wind is 2nd only being at the local park where it’s next to a narrows and inlet that eventually spill out into the Puget Sound (SHOUT OUT CASCADIA!)
I’ll explain my theory someday as to why I think watching trees/water helps me so much.
I watched the trees for a bit, it calmed me down. Then I drove to park at the restaurant to wait for a delivery to come up. One came up for $11 from the restaurant.
I went in, and Moonbeam is working today. I told her I’ve got a pickup for whoever it was.
Now, she’s cute as hell. Probably the cutest there of all of them, Zelda included.
Normally, if I want to say something flirty to a girl, I’ll think of what to say on the way there, and end up feeling so damn nervous until I say and up to 10 mins AFTER I say it.
Like I totally psych myself out.
Today, I was in there, and just asked “How late are you working tonight?”
She said “I’m here all night!”
So I said “Awesome. I’m coming back later on so I can get some fries and say hi to you, because you’re fun.” (wtf?)
She smiled and said “Awesome! See ya soon then!” (Not sure if this is the typical “be friendly because he’s the paying customer” or not…but her smile is a bit intoxicating, so I’ll take it)
It just came out…no nerves…no time to psych myself out.
The only thing I felt is shock that those words just flowed out of my mouth cavity.
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Holy Nug!
I forgot to report that the wife woke up up early this morning wanting sex. I, characteristically, didn’t appreciate being woken up. Even for sex, it’s hit/miss with me. I told her “I was sleeping REALLY GOOD!” and went back to sleep.
Fast forward past today…and tonight…I’m back home…she sends me a text message, across the living room. “Wanna get naked?”
I send back “aight” (lol)(
It ended up being the 2nd best sex we’ve ever had. I say 2nd best because the 1st best was in 2003 and that’s my benchmark which would take a LOT to usurp. Not that sex is bad when we have it, the 2003 sex was phenomenal because I PhotoRead a TON of sex books one day before driving from Connecticut back home to Virgina for the weekend. I was back at the submarine base in Groton, CT for some LAN/IT/LAN security training, which they called NSVT at the time.
Anyhoo. That was #1 best sex EVAR. Today’s was #2.
It was just far more passionate than ever. More passionate than the 2003 sex, the 2003 sex was better for other reasons lol.
More passion, I lasted a lot longer.
This is from EmperorZP, MogulZP, LibertineZP and Love Bomb ZP…I’m still alternating Emperor and Mogul on listen days.
Eventually I’ll pick one or the other, so I can squeeze all my M subs into one day, for a total of 3, without needing to rotate anything in/out each day.
Bit More Detail about the sex, possibly NSFW
When we first started making out, she had Alexa put on R&B. Out of character for her.
During the deed, I found myself thinking “I wonder what this would be like with Moonbeam,” and each time I indulged a thought like that, the wife responded.
Like orgasms getting more intense, also just getting more into it. It was as if she were reacting to my mental queries.Or like she was unconsciously “competing” with Moonbeam to one-up her. She doesn’t even know her. so not sure about that.
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It absolutely doesn’t matter. You did it, and even if that one was just being polite, if you keep doing stuff like that you’ll find some who are doing more than that.
Awe fricking Some!
Oh, and competition does, let’s say, drive excellence, with girls.
Back in the day whenever I had casual things with more than one girl going on, they seemed to put in a lot more effort.
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I unliked and then reliked it after that edit you made. Since I was still in the window. We need “superlike” buttons in Discourse I guess haha
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Sex again this morning. I initiated and she responded. Rare considering it just happened last night.
Weirdly, last night I was “normal” in the size department. But today, it was way bigger. To the point where we’re back to going to have to wait a few days. Not due to lack of interest on her part. She said it was “too big” and caused tears in there. Weird as I’ve not been listening to any performance/enhancement subs in a while
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I did 3 deliveries today.made $90!
Seriously, each delivery, the person ended tipping way more than they originally planned.
I just went over 1000 deliveries yesterday, so I wonder if that played a part.
But I’m definitely attributing this to Mogul. Saint told me the other day that Mogul has some results enhancers so I don’t need to run R.I.C.H. specifically.
One of them ended up tipping $20, the other tipped $24 on a $12 order.
I seriously showed the wife and told her I was checking to make sure nothing was broken 
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Today is LibertineZP+LoveBombZP+MogulZP day.
Ran those whilst debugging a part of my Empire Project which has been bugging me for a few months. I’d love to say that I magically figured out the problem while running the stack. But that didn’t happen.
What DID happen, is I worked on it all through the stack. Then about an hour or two after that, I’m STILL working on it. Tried a bunch of Trial-And-Feedback…mostly Feedback. (I prefer the phrase “Trial-And-Feedback” because “Error” isn’t an altogether useful word.
an hour or two of that T&F after the stack ended…I finally “saw” the solution. Just needed a new flag variable to keep 2 pieces of code from clashing. BOOM.
Fixed.
Today is my day off from Uber Eastsing. This morning, I was tempted to fire up the app and go see if I could make money like I did yesterday.
Call me lazy, but I didn’t wanna. lol. I framed it as “I’m going to honor my commitment to ONE day off per week for only my own projects”.
Not pure laziness, I know. I just use Sundays as the one day a week I can deep dive on something interesting.
I still deep dive each night…but there’s a certain awesomeness that comes with having all day to work on X.
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So…I just finished reading “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy.
Been putting this book off for years, since I first read Jeff Olson’s book “The Slight Edge” a few years prior. And the message is basically the same in both books. No big surprise there, as they both learned that from Jim Rohn.
I credit this book with helping me focus my stack down quite a bit for now. I’m still running 4 ZPs (2 on any given day).
But I’m definitely a lot more focused now.
Today was hella productive. This pleases The Emperor.
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Maaate, it’s crazy, it seems your wife want the sex with you now comparwd to before!!
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Not sure what this is. I just had a bout of existential…something.
Sitting in the office listening to my dad drone on and on about how hard life is, negative blah blah. Not totally negative, but I had no plans on talking to him tonight.
I’m shooting for Saturdays and Wednesdays. But he “needs to talk” more often than that.
I have a ROKU 3 remote hanging on my wall in there from hook. I looked at it just hanging there, minding its own business.
And I started thinking about how it isn’t just hanging there. It’s actively trying to FALL. Falling to the center of the Earth. Then I looked at my smoking jacket hanging in my office closet…then thought “It’s trying to fall too!”
Then I started looking at each item…“IT’s falling!”
Then I realized my body is trying to fall ALL THE TIME. Only the floor/ground are keeping me from falling into the fiery, molten core of the Earth.
I didn’t get dizzy so much as my thoughts eventually just stopped.
turned off.
I was still able to say my "uh huh"s to dad and we hung up eventually.
Then I headed to the kitchen table (where the laptop is currently set up) to post this.
I still feel a bit “different” and feel as if life will never be the same again. weird.
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Oh boy do I know that feeling. My dad is almost entirely negative too. I internalized it growing up. Do you find it really weird to listen to now as well?
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it’s more annoying than anything. I’ve toyed with building a sub using the people remove thing…but I’m afraid he might not make the cut.
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I think I’ve gotten over the annoyed phase sometime last year. Now I just look at how I used to think and feel when he did that, and it’s all different now.
I was pretty much trained to be his sole source of emotional support from the time my mom divorced him when I was very young. I guess I kind of thought of holding him together as my purpose. That’s what made me well, vulnerable to vulnerable people.
I still feel the urge to help, but now I see the whole situation for what it is, and it just feels different.
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