I had similar problems.
If I didn’t workout in the morning, I couldn’t sleep in the evening, to much energy that let’s me partying as soon as it gets dark.
Since I work out in the morning I can go to sleep at 11
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Haha noo brother I don’t screw around with that shit. I want to be at my best all the time and smoking weed just takes me out of the vibe of life. It’s very nice to do so, but the next day I feel a little bit off.
The thing that I have with any kind of stimulant, is that you pay for it later. Granted, weed will be definitely the best “drug” you can take after caffëine if you compare it to alcohol and sorts. But still, I don’t want to be dependent on some kind of substance to keep me calm, that’s my responsibility. Another thing I always ask myself "Would I want my future kids to smoke weed or drink alcohol? Hell no, so I should be the prime example to make sure they don’t use it. It just messes with your brain and dopamine receptors way too much. I rather do it with things like training, yoga, and meditation.
But don’t get me wrong, I don’t look down on people who smoke 
If it makes you a better person I’m all up for it. But with my addictive tendencies and learning about the brain and its chemistry. I can’t and will not use it anymore.
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Interesting you mentioned your kids.
I personally don’t drink alcohol since I am 16. And I would hate to see my children put it into themselves.
I get you.
If this ADHS thing is a problem for you then I would look into : Adaptogens like: Schisandra,Rhodiola, Ginseng, Taiga
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Funny I’m using this brain supplement called Mindlabpro that have Rhodiola and Ginseng and it’s working very well! Thanks for the tip
And nice to hear you don’t drink alcohol brother
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Deep sleep is working almost perfectly, I’m going to bed around 10 PM and start winding down at 8:30 PM with reading and some meditation. I sleep extremely deep, it feels like waking up from a coma. The only weird thing is, that I keep waking up around 5/5:30 AM, and can’t sleep any further while still feeling tired. Takes a while to be fully awake as well
Another thing is that I’m kind of scared to go live and work in Utrecht. I fell in love with living on the east side of the Netherlands with more nature and just a calmer environment. But I can’t live here and work over there, the traveling time is too much. But every time I’m in the big city, I have this feeling of “Pff man… So many people and noise, I want to go back”.
But I have an obligation to do something with my talents and make the most out of it. So that’s why I’m going that way and facing my fears. But damn… It scares the crap out of me
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Things I’m noticing while on my second day of the washout:
- I will make a custom in about 2-3 months that will balance out the masculinity in my custom. I feel very powerful and grounded, but I see my ego slipping in from time to time. Seeing myself as better or having thoughts like “Look what I have done in such a minimum time with my life!”. Confidence is great, but arrogance is something I despise in other people, including myself. For now, I will use LBfH to balance out the ego. If anyone has a better suggestion, please put it in the comment section!
- Getting more things done instead of feeling like getting things done. The last couple of days I had so much drive and motivation, that for some weird reason I was not that productive. Now on my washout, I feel calmer and centered while getting more things done.
- Sleep schedule is almost perfect in such a short time, really enjoy waking up early and going to bed early. Been experimenting here and there and today I’ll make my morning routine for the next couple of weeks.
- There is quite some healing going on with the love modules in my custom. Especially in the heart area, where there is some warm feeling and sometimes pain when I do my meditations.
I’m thinking about using the schedule of @Billions to listen to my custom less and let it bloom more. the last couple of days I had intense recon and wanted to sleep all day long. Something I can’t have when I start my new job next week, I have to be well rested and be able to focus. You can find his schedule here:
Also, today or tomorrow I will hear if I get the apartment in the center of Utrecht. If that happens, I manifested an amazing job, an amazing girlfriend, and an amazing apartment in 4-5 weeks:see_no_evil:. If I don’t get it, I will still be immensely grateful for everything that has been given to me these couple of weeks. I know I deserve it after all my hard work, but still thank you guys, and thank’s Universe/God for having my back 
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I GOT IT!!! I got the appartment! Jezus I’m so happy and grateful right now 
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Congratulations enjoy your new apartment and have a great weekend.
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Well, lads…
This job is hard work 
Never been working so hard in a job. It’s a reminder again why I started my coaching business years ago before moving to Spain. It’s just 40-50 hours of relentless work that I’ve not been used to since the last couple of years. But hey, everything happens for a reason!
Work, eat, sleep repeat is not the way I want to live my life tho. We will see how it all works out
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I’ve had such an interesting week that I don’t know where to start. First of all this week was crazy, so much information and things that I have to remember while doing like 10 things at the same time in this job. It’s not what I expected, it seems that most of the job is administration work instead of teaching. They work mostly digitally with all the students, like doing the meetings with the student’s supervisors on video call instead of doing it in person. They want me to teach without any experience while giving classes I have almost no experience in:joy: My background is mental coaching, Sports, and social work. But they want me to do classes about care and welfare instead of social work. Like how you handle a group of elderly people and that sort of thing. It’s an area that I have no interest in and only know a little bit about from my old study, what’s like 8-9 years ago. So my first reaction was Yo what the hell is this? Why does my life push me in this type of direction? Then it hit me…
I was always very driven and focused on making something big out of my life. Like there was this empty feeling inside of me that I had to fill with something else, and working on my craft was the only healthy way of doing so. Otherwise, it was drugs or alcohol to fill this void. But after doing DR, finding a new family, and having my foundation back, the urge to grind and achieve and work very hard is falling away. Today is also the first day that the girl who I’m dating has become officially my girlfriend 
and that got me thinking. I was missing out on life man… don’t get me wrong I’m still someone that has to do something with meaning. I can’t work a job that pays well without the feeling that I have some kind of value for society, that’s just who I am. But I also figured out that I like to enjoy life with the people that truly make me happy 
That in itself, is a major breakthrough in my thinking.
So what did I figure out for myself so far?
- I will not work 40 hours a week or more, that’s the time that I need for my family, friends, and my girl. Especially when I have kids on my own later in life, I really want to be there for my kids and be a great dad.
- I will only be happy at something that makes me feel like I’m playing. Because if my heart is not in something, I will not do my best. Maybe it’s the ADHD side, maybe it’s who I am but I have to respect that side of me. If that means lesser pay, that’s fine with me. I don’t need much to be happy
- Purpose is very important in my life, without purpose even the family part is not feeling enough for me. That’s the right side of my brain against my left side and I have to figure out a way to balance the 2. Find something that I know in my heart is right, that is aligned with my purpose, and that pays enough to provide for my family. If that means starting my business again, that’s fine with me. If it means working for a company I really believe in, that’s also great.
I will keep this job for the time being, but I’m going to discover what I truly want in my career. I know it’s not this and for that grateful! I don’t see it as something negative, I see it as a new layer of purpose that’s starting to reveal. Also, I will do my best at this job to get better at the things I’m not very good at, like teaching things I don’t know and doing administration work. Maybe it will help me later with something that I truly desire to do!
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Today, my step-mom said something that hit me in the right spot. It was about this job, and the practical matters that need to be learned to become somebody different. This job manifested to be difficult, and hard, and my mind/body is screaming every day to leave. But for some reason, I can’t shake this feeling that it’s necessary to be here, in this environment, with these people. To be honest, I didn’t have a difficult work life, most jobs came fairly easy like being a personal trainer and coaching some clients. I could make a lot of errors and mistake when it came to planning and being organized. Here it’s impossible to make these mistakes, you have to be precise and remember ever detail about every appointment. Combine that with teaching classes in fields I have no experience in without a teacher degree, well let’s just say it gives stress a new meaning haha 
Anyway, I have to keep going and get better at this job. I remember this quote that I heard years ago, it was something along the line of “Your intuition never shouts, it always whispers”. And my Muslim friend always tells me that the Devil shouts, to put you in a different direction than what is needed. Well I’ve been hearing many times things like “This isn’t for you, I don’t like this, I hate working so much” in a shouting tone. I will wait for when the shouting stops and the whispers return.
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Decided to change my Journal name after the long threat that was born from my question about this topic. I thought that was creating a subliminal to become the best teacher, but after these couple of weeks, I’m realizing it’s way more than that. It’s about balancing my life out the way I want to, and I still have to figure some things out.
I took a break for about 9 days to clear everything out. I’m still having so many dreams, nightmares and sleeping poorly that I will extend this wash-out period until everything comes back to normal. While being on this wash-out, so many things are coming up:
- I have almost no feelings for my new girlfriend anymore. I was meeting her family this weekend, and they all fell in love with me and were so happy that I felt guilty. The only positive thing is that I now see the recurring pattern of pushing people away. I get feelings for a person, they get close, and then the feelings go away. It’s like this mechanism in me that will find all these “flaws” about the other person to give me an excuse to break things up. While I know this girl is so good for me. Kind and pure and just a great person overall.
- Since I started making more money, my spending habits are going through the roof. There are so many underlying money blocks from my parents that are coming up now. Both of them never could handle money and just spent it poorly. The one that comes up the most is “Spent everything now, because tomorrow it can be gone”. Maybe this feeling of being unworthy of receiving, I don’t know.
- There are emotions stuck in my heart and throat, but I’m afraid to go deep into them. Not because I can’t fix it, but when they come out, I can’t work anymore. I would really love to listen to CFW again and just focus on healing, but my life is so busy right now, there is no time to heal.
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I forgot to end on a postive note!
It’s going much better at work, last thursday it was my first day in front of a class and they loved it. It felt very natural for me to me and I felt no fear to stand in front so many people. Chiron is doing great things! Dragon Tongue is making me speak way more fluent, it’s like my thoughts are going directly into my mouth without interuption.
I also see that my desire to growth is coming back slowly. I’m reading more, picking up yoga and stretching and waking up earlier then before. Slowly getting back on track to become who I want to become!
Mind explaining what pragya has to do with this? Curious.
I had a similar rationale as @Solomon
For Pragya it is shown “By adding this to your subliminal, you will expand and develop the physical capacity of your brain to assimilate subliminal instructions at a more accurate, faster pace”.
Basically modules like it helps one absorb the sub more effectively. Hence let’s say maybe a custom with it 3 mins might be equal to a custom without it 7 mins or more.
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My rationale is that I get overwhelmed with the subs because my brain is sensitive to Subliminals. It works immediately, but it comes with the price of intense recon. To expand and develop the physical capacity for my brain to assimilate it faster, maybe it makes my brain less sensitive to the subs because it processes faster.
But honestly, I still encounter heavy recon even with Pragya. I think this has more to do with the loss of sleep because of the dreams I have on these subs.
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Interesting. Please report back if you notice at some point it working better. Might take time.
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Most of the days I’m angry and pissed off about life. About my current situation and how I put myself in this situation. Well… Maybe it’s not just, maybe it’s life itself that’s trying to teach me something, but I’m too stubborn to listen. It feels that it keeps pushing me towards my spiritual development, while it keeps giving me “problems” until I start working more on this path. Today I woke up after having a restless night, waking up around 8-10 times, and felt really angry. It took me around 60-90 min to get out of that state, I tried almost anything, but nothing worked… Until I did my breathing exercise I learned from Joe Dispenza. To put the mind out of the body, and poef… the anger disappeared.
The other thing I’m trying to do more of is going into my sadness. My mentor and friend told me that I have to learn to express my emotions again. That means, every evening I try to watch something that makes me tear up or emotional. My body hates this, it wants to stay in the Known and be angry. It’s so weird to me, I’ve never been an angry or irritated person. But since I’m working on myself, all this shit is coming up while trying to maintain this job that I do not like. It’s like really life? Really? Right now?
Victim mentality will never work, that’s why I keep working on myself, even if it’s goddamn hard like now. Had no idea this journal would change into a healing journey, hoped it was over but no.
So for the time being, I decided to listen to a bit of Lovebomb for Humanity and Paragon to help me heal a bit, feel more love for life, and help with the discomforts that I have in my body right now. After that, I will resume my custom, but for now, I need to address the problems that I have.
Gotta Surrender to the process ^^
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I feel like it would help you if you found a way to swim, instead of drowning in those emotions.
By learning how to increase your vibration, and transmute negative into positive emotions, it would give you the necessary control to take charge of your life and not be swept by the currents.
If Joe Dispenza’s methods work for you to achieve this end, then use them!
The power is in your hands…
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As you said yourself, those emotions are there for a reason.
Don’t ignore them — find a way to use them as a catalyst to change your life around
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