Lol no no, by “douche” I just mean polarizing really, not rude/inconsiderate. Just playfully cocky, playful, teasing, doing and saying what you want, not caring what she thinks, not trying to please her, genuinely not caring whether she walks away or not etc. But yeah i really meant KIND OF a douche, like just a little, not FULL BLOWN douche haha.
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There is a fine line between being an asshole and being a little cocky / desired kind of man. Some guys don’t get it and they are just idiots thinking they are the shit and that if you dont like their approach, there is something wrong with you… But again… different girls different tastes. There are definitely some girls out there who will go out even with an asshole… but… Id assume it’s a lesser number. Find your sweet spot and what feels good for you. There is always someone out there for you that fits your essence.
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I typically don’t give advice here, but, having been in the same spot you are right now, I figured I’d chime in on the chorus of this thread.
A few things for you to consider for yourself, and it’s been said a few times, but I think we sometimes miss the point of it. Setting intentions is good, but, you don’t need to do that with the women per se. You need to set the intentions for yourself.
As in, what is it that you want? If it’s that you want to date hot women, then ask yourself why? I say this because if you do a deep dive of it, you might find that the only block you have is competing priorities. To be clear, dating a woman requires time and money. If that time is competing with starting a company, making more money, or something else you want more, then your intentions are all mixed up. If somewhere deep in the crevices of your mind, you know you want one thing more and another thing less, then you won’t get the other thing because your dominant focus is going to be on what you want more.
And I also want to be clear, when I talk about money here, it doesn’t necessarily mean wining and dining the woman, but, you step outside of your house, you’re burning cash, period. Whether that’s transportation costs, hanging at the bar or even splitting the bill.
Now, if your intention is to just have sex, then you need to be clear about that as well, because again, you might have competing requirements. How much time a week do you want to dedicate to meeting a girl and having it escalate to sex? You won’t always get it right, but the point of the exercise is so that it gets clear in your head and you untangle the mess of competing priorities. It does wonders. It’s almost like a journaling exercise in a way and it helps you see what you’re fighting against. The same way journaling helps you recognize the changes from your sub activity and what not. This will also untangle the competing points of whether you want a relationship or just to get laid. Get it all out on paper and be completely honest with yourself. Don’t sugarcoat it and don’t write what you think you should write. No one is reading this but you.
That’s the cursory stuff. The second part of this is to understand your self value.
Here’s where I’ll share my current experiences and how I view things.
What I own, how much money I make, who I know, don’t translate to how I value myself. I value myself above all external factors of validation. This is the self love piece that we all talk about on the forum. Hell, I look in the mirror all the time during the day and tell myself how much I love myself. Even in public bathrooms. I don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. Why go to such extremes? because at the end of the day, you’re born alone and you will die alone. The only person who you really know or can experience in any true depth is yourself. You alone can only feel your own pain and your own pleasure. Why go through life fighting yourself or hating parts of you? And why let someone else determine what your own self value should be?
I have people all day, whether they mean to or not, try to tell me how I should live my life, point out flaws in my logic, call out my mistakes. We’re so programmed to do that, we don’t even know we’re doing it. Hell, look through this entire thread and you’ll see folks advising you on what you’re doing right and wrong, including me with this post.
Now, there is nothing wrong with this, and actually, it’s incredibly helpful. But, my point is, if you don’t have a sense of self validation, you’ll never find that from anyone else. The things we love and hate about another person are the reflections of what we love and hate about ourselves. Hence why people always talk about making a connection or sharing the same values. You can probably gather where I’m going with this. But in short, we tend to project our own experiences onto others instead of seeing the other for what and who they truly are. We do this because we expect the other person to in turn validate who we are by positively reinforcing what we project back to us.
So now let me bring all of this together in a way that makes cohesive sense. I personally, love being friends with women. Any woman I speak with, I try to be respectful to. That doesn’t mean I don’t banter, I happen to love bantering with women, it’s fun. But I don’t come off all sexually charged or machismo like, I don’t need to show them that I’ll drop them on a dime or play those games. I love women, I love the way they look, I love how soft their skin is, I especially love the smell of a good perfume on a woman. I love their energy.
I also happen to love art. I can walk into a museum and admire a beautiful painting. But, like my love for women, I don’t need to buy that art and have it hanging from my wall. I don’t need to own something (or in the case of another human being, be in a relationship with them) to appreciate it.
I go into every interaction I have with women pretty open and I have zero intentions other than just enjoying my time. More often than not, women will respond positively to me, and while we’re enjoying each others company, sometimes something more happens. Not always, but it happens more often than not. And when it does happen, I think to myself, this woman is extremely lucky to have had this time with me, because I enjoy the act of taking a woman to her absolute sexual pinnacle. I derive the greatest pleasure from knowing that I could take her there. This again is where your self intentions need to be clear. My intention if things become sexual with a woman is to give her the most incredible sexual experience of her life. And again, I’m not doing that for her (although she is on the receiving end of that incredible pleasure), I am doing that for myself, because I enjoy watching her reaction and knowing that I can bring her to this. I can make her feel this. I am the one giving her this incredible experience. Notice the I in this.
This may sound selfish or come off as egotistical or self serving, but is it really? Of course it is, but everything we do is self serving. Because you can’t serve anyone else if you don’t know how to serve yourself first.
At the end of the day, you have to pursue the things that make you happy, and as long as that isn’t destroying someone actively (as in you’re not murdering them or torturing them physically or some shit like that), then it doesn’t matter. If someone is emotionally hurt, you can’t control that. But you can manage the situation by always being upfront. I can’t control someone else’s emotions, I can only limit the damage by being brutally honest with them.
This is also why I disagree with a lot of dating advice and why I tend to focus on being the best version of myself rather than trying to act like something or someone. When you’re acting, you’re working in a glass house, meaning a situation will come up and that glass house will shatter into a million pieces around you. The best example of this is evident when someone is in a dire situation. You’ll see their true colors. If you’re not naturally a certain way or don’t naturally act in a certain manner, don’t pretend to be that thinking it’s going to win a woman. It might some of the time, as was evidenced by the PUA community, but, that will eventually fall apart for you and honestly, you’ll probably end up hurting yourself more than anyone else over the long term.
Again, not all women will respond the same way, and not all women will engage. Sometimes I’ll smile at a woman and she’ll give me an expression as if I slapped her across the face. I don’t take that personally, because that had nothing to do with me, that’s on her. It was her reaction, not mine. This is another example of how you can’t control someone else’s emotions.
There’s a lot in my post, take what you will, if anything, from it and see how it applies to your life. As for the subs I am currently using that have brought out these revelations that were within me, I’m currently running Khan Stage 4, Stark Black, and Minds Eye. I’ve gone through my sub history in other posts so won’t lay that out here.
My two cents for whatever that may be worth for you.
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Yeah I agree with all that, though the guys who blame the girl are faking it, it’s really just a cover for their own insecurity/bruised ego. So is everything I said so cringey and disagreeable that everyone just noped outta here or what. Lmao
I’m not necessarily disagreeing with you. I think we both have the same idea in mind. Just adding some of my own thought.
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The real “game” is being able to read her and giving her what she wants lol
Every girl got a formula for her ideal guy and if you can demonstrate that you have those characteristics she will fall for you heavy…
It’s like me… I look to see if she has pretty face… And then if she has banging body it’s on for me… But if she’s fat or overweight I won’t even glance…
Game is like signalling that you have those traits.
A fat girl can be my dream girl personality wise and she can demonstrate the most values etc. But if she’s fat something I’m clearly not attracted to, I won’t really care.
Some girls like dark energy guys… some chicks love funny guys… Some prefer serious guys. Some prefer artsy guys… Some girls would bang athletes. Some girls only rich guys. Some girls only fuck with folk band members.
Tryna demonstrate or flaunt your stable career to a girl who dates artsy surfer guys is like an independent girl talking about her career and how strong she is to a millionaire who’s looking for a stay at home wife who’s traditional. It does absolutely nothing but lose attention super fast and reduce attraction.
There’s always some Wattpad story she wants to live out. Your job is to read her like a book and observe who she is, what she loves and thinks is missing. And become that.
That’s why daredevil or primal or wanted works really well… it allows you to create those romcom moments she wanted.
That’s what game really is imho. None of this shit about be funny or smart or become this ultimate man… That wouldn’t be helpful if the dimepiece model only messes with regular boring guys (which I’ve seen happen toooo many times.)
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So like yeah game is food in a sense…
Your job is to be a restaurant that serves every type of food imaginable
It’s late night, 2am after a club on a Saturday? Don’t be Mr. Boring Healthy Salad Man… Become the pizza
It’s Sunday 1pm? Become the best brunch meal
basically feed her the food (emotions) that she is in the mood for
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I second this… Legit first book ever to teach how to have genuine conversations.
Also got my first ever girlfriend after reading it… literally a week later lol
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Omg Vinci, so I have to act how I’m not? Wtf no way that’s sooo fake
No. I’m not saying you have to act what your not. But basically youre demonstrating your infinite depths as a human being.
We’re all creative, funny, strong, free spirited, charismatic
Every girl would love it if each guy expressed themselves better. AKA communicated better.
But… for some reason some guys would have their crush fall head over heels in love with them if only they demonstrated that they’re not so serious and are vulnerable and have a funny side to them… Or they’re not a softy and they got a dark edge to them, etc…
Like in high school I’ve seen dudes literally transform from this awesome charismatic funny dude to this low energy nervous wreck around women… That’s me lol
Attraction is the lure, the depths of your uniqueness are what truly makes you 1of1 and makes them fall for you.
I love me my mango smoothies and I didn’t start adding spinach to it until one day I just decided to try it and I’ve never not had spinach on my smoothie since…
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Straight facts and adding greens and kefir… 
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this is my fourth cycle. I aim to do 2 cycles for each DR stage
It’s a little difficult to explain but I slowly feel more and more different.
I’m actively throwing myself into situations where I feel my emotional blocks and fears and it’s changing me. But I still feel in emotional turmoil during the process.
I try to follow the guidelines (one day listen, one day no) but I also manage myself based on the recon and extend the break days.
So I would say 2-3 times a week.
Mostly a strong negative sensation between the chest and throat.
Lately I’ve also been feeling angry.
On average between 5 and 7 out of 10?
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Thanks for your advice and yes I agree with your points, in fact I have already mentioned in a previous post in this thread that I accept her rejection and do not intend to pursue her further after this rejection. As much as his rejection hurts me, I now aim to move forward and improve myself and date other girls.
My idea of seduction is more at the root/cause: not doing something attractive, but being something attractive.
I would like to transform myself to the point that teasing, flirting and disagreeing with her are not things done because I am told from the outside, but because they are so integrated into my personality that they come naturally, effortlessly, they are me (congruence).
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Forgive me but here too I only half agree with you, on the dog part, because yes, there can be random events that cannot be controlled by you, but in other cases I don’t think it’s the wrong approach but your subcommunication.
Furthermore, a third unpopular case is the girl’s fault. Some girls have internal problems, or are problematic in general, or they don’t feel good enough for you .
We are not always to blame.
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Yes, I’ve seen even relationships that broke apart because one partner invested time and energy to develop his personality, his finances, etc
And suddenly there were challenges that weren’t there before.
From a coaching respective it seemed all obvious.
One person became so high value, that the partner didn’t feel lovable anymore/ to imperfect compared to the other half.
That’s why it’s a good approach to include the partner into the development if you care about him/her.
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I don’t think it’s a question of stereotypes. Maybe you are talking about girls’ personal tastes, which can swing their attraction towards one type of person or another depending on their favorite stereotype, but also consider the following point of view:
A man is attracted to certain physical characteristics of a woman: nice butt, nice breasts, good waist-bust ratio (I’m neglecting the personality for now). The metalhead or good girl stereotype is secondary.
On the other hand, I think the same goes for women. Women are attracted to certain man’s characteristics, and the stereotype comes later.
That’s a pretty big neglect though. Personality ends up making a big difference. Well, that’s my experience anyway.
I mean you’re utterly right, women’s physical characteristics have the power to override many things (at least temporarily they do), but still.
I know in my case, my physically preferred type kept changing after I’d met yet another woman who I really liked. I’d meet the woman, get really into her, and then her physical features would get added into the ones that attract me. That’s how it has tended to go for me.
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At least from my experience, I can ar least tell, that women aren’t that focused on physical appearance.
My fiancees ex was tall and muscular. I’m of average hight and overweight.
Her former relationships were abusive, ours is not.
I even gained around 20kg during our relationship (I was 5-7 days a week dancing salsa/ rocknroll/ bachata/ kizomba/ discofox + swordfighting twice a week until Corona) and she doesn’t mind, still finds me sexy as he’ll.
And I know quite a few other couples with her looking absolutely stunning and he’s quite average in looks. But their heart is golden.
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Probably varies quite a bit.