But in the evening, some girl was messaging me. And a felt a surge of energy, and just really really fun vibe. And I teased her and joked around self-amusing so much that I laughed myself until tears rolled down my cheeks.
It felt like a combination of a much needed laughter release, like I am getting something off my chest, and a return of the energy of having fun with other people and not the need to stay somewhat alone that Khan Total Breakdown gave me for the last 8 days.
I feel lighter inside. I will see whether this will continue. I expect other emotional swings to happen. It is part of the process.
For now I feel good and light like a cloud floating through the air.
I did not reduce my listening time. I just reduced the volume slightly. That helped a lot.
Sleep is still a mess though, but this surge of energy I got now is helping a lot.
@AMASH, are you running a certain number of loops, or are you just letting it run? I’ve missed anything about any number of loops, plus you admitted that it was only a month you’d be doing it.
I’m home today after my normal half-day of work on Saturdays, and I’m exhausted. In bed now, and I’ll likely be in bed most of tomorrow. Are you just powering through?
Yesterday at work I did a very physical day, one I’m very experienced in. I slowed down a bit since I was fatigued. And like you, I had a second wind, a rush which I took off with. Lasted 30 minutes or so, but it was drastically different from my energy level earlier in the day.
No number of loops. Set and forget. As close to 24h as possible.
I think any fatigue I might be feeling right now is because I was only able to sleep for 4 hours last night. A mix of Khan and the weather being too hot to sleep well. I can’t tell which is the major cause.
My subconscious knowing is that letting it run as long as possible is the right thing to do. Listen to your subconscious and do what is right for you.
Yesterday, I felt very irritable. I was on a date with a girl, and she shit tested my by saying “I need 1 or 2 months before I am comfortable to have sex.” Normally, the level headed thing would be to respond calmly, and even if it is a serious requirement on her part, to think “Do I like this girl enough to wait 1-2 months?” Then decide based on that.
But I Rage Quit. I felt very emotional, and told her to go fuck herself. And went and deleted all the girls from my phone, and I was thinking “Fuck this shit, I’ll fucking go MGTOW, fuck it all!”
She kept texting me that night, telling me how I am being rude and I ignored all her messages. I’m not in the mood for that.
Then, I went to sleep, which was actually better. When I woke up, I was not feeling horny and no morning wood. And since it’s Sunday, I decided to stay in bed and just relax. But the emotions in me were just taking me on a hard tumultuous journey.
Normally, I am a calm level-headed person. But nowadays I feel both a sense of loss, a sense of meaningless, and deep irritability. It seems to come with the evolution that Khan Total breakdown brings, since I read someone else went through a similar phase:
You’ll start experiencing this any time you’re going through deep cleaning. The breakdown of ego is a tough experience, but know that your subconscious will guide you in the right direction. We script our subliminals differently than others – the entire alchemical process is self-guided. What we provide in the scripts are goals – money, power, wealth, romance – and provides a pathway to manifestation. Your subconscious chooses the importance of those goals and how to walk that path. So, as you turn off of one path and on to another, the subconscious has to now reconcile the new worldview with the old one – the conflict between those ideas causes the anger response.
A few years ago, I was a much different person. People used to refer to me as a “force of nature” because of my ability to get things done. But, like any force of nature, that meant that I’d steamroll the hell out of you if you got in my way. Thing is, that identity was driven by sheer anger, anger that had been building up since childhood. Once I began really practicing mental alchemy, the underlying beliefs that created that anger were altered, and the anger begin to subside. Relationships with friends and family grew stronger. I began to experience awe at the sheer marvel of existence. But also… I began to feel lost, like I didn’t know who I was anymore. For so long, my life had been defined by that anger. Without it, who the hell was I?
Sure enough, I began to rediscover and embrace my new identity as a positive conscious creator. I got the highest paying job I’ve ever had, thriving business that I absolutely love, and now I’m expanding into new creative territories. Make no mistake, I’m no pushover now, and if someone tries to bring harm to me, my family or my business, there will be consequences. But, I’m annoyed at just how long I spent wallowing in anger. This new identity is clearly the better one.
This is what Khan is meant to do – bring out the inner empire builder (however you define that) within you. And it’ll succeed as long as people stay on the path.
I’ve had those same feelings, thinking that being melancholy was my “set” norm. There IS a sense of loss. I find the biggest challenges now are basically “who am I NOW?” It comes and goes.
The Lows: I spent around 2 hours just feeling tears drop off my eyes, thinking about everything wrong with my life (forgetting all the things to be grateful for), and all the things I want to achieve but how far off I am. Just being a little about it. Although I did not just cry, I was crying and learning about how to have better interactions with women.
The Highs: Suddenly, I felt a rush of power and positivity. And felt really in the mood to go talk to some women. So, without hesitation, I went and took a shower, put one some clothes and cologne, and went out determined to talk to 10 girls at least.
I went out, and I was enjoying myself. Girls reacted very positively although most told me they have a boyfriend. I felt in the zone.
The difference I noticed compared to PS IT: With PS, I am more a playful fire that is strong and warm and crackling with sexuality and fun energy. With Khan TB, I am more of a water whirlwind of sexuality and strength. I joke less, but my desire is stronger, and my dominance is more pronounced.
I met a really cool girl, we connected. We talked about our lives, our past, our hopes and dreams, with some jokes and some flirtatious comments here and there (this is one of the things I am implementing. I get too high of a flake rate, and now I discovered that I do about 80% having fun and 20% knowing about the girl and me, which seems to be too little. What i learned is I should flirt and play about 40%, and get to know her about 60%).
Funnily, when I was going home after (15 approaches! I went out to do 10, but was having so much fun, I went to 15 until I had to stop myself because I gotta do other stuff). Anyways, I saw this super hot girl dressed like a japanese teenage school girl standing in front of a grocery store, and she kept looking at me. So I went over, talked to her, and she was giggling. But little did I know, she just wanted to make her boyfriend jealous by inviting me to approach. And after a few minutes, this humongous piece of meat, a true muscle head monster came out of the grocery store and stood next to this tiny girl that was about 1/5th his size. I was a bit surprised, but recovered fast. I told him that he had a beautiful girl and he was lucky, and he laughed and wished me a good day. And we went our separate ways.
i love this. I am rediscovering my sense of life and sense of adventure.
Khan Total Breakdown is a beast. I am trusting the process. I know I will go through a number of lows and depressed moments throughout this month as it works its magic and cleans my limitations. So I am okay with that. This experience today of recovering and having fun after being so low that I was crying for 2 hours showed me that this is part of the process, a temporary setback, a much needed cleansing.
So to healing, success, and beyond!
I know it was not the proper way or the right thing to do. But I really really was not in the mood for games or bullshit at that moment. So I really just told her to go fuck herself and left her alone in the date.
In 2 months, I can meet cool girls who are down to earth and who won’t play games like that. Or if they do, I might be in a better mood to deal with it. But in that moment, the only response I had was to rage quit and tell her to go fuck herself. It was the first time I did it, but I felt so relieved, even proud of myself.
I also seem to remember snippets of my dreams every night.
They are not weird dreams like Emperor where I am riding on top of an Alpha Wolf through dark scary forests and things like that.
Khan TB dreams are mostly me arguing with some famous people, teaching them a lesson, learning something, getting some insights, and mostly either drama and conflict with experts and Gurus, or me getting some deep insights about some subjects.
I don’t know what the insights are. It’s just the context or feeling I get in those dreams.
I have listened to 150 hours of Khan Total Breakdown so far.
What I have noticed:
I can sleep well and have relaxing sleep even with Khan running. My sleep stabilized.
I have a good mental focus and a good level of energy. I don’t feel exhausted or foggy anymore.
I don’t feel deeply emotionally disturbed.
I still feel a mild level of depression. And I feel like being alone and not interacting with other people or talking to women unless absolutely necessary. I had glimpses of this changing, like yesterday where I felt extremely social and desired to go approach and flirt with women. So this probably will get better over time.
Today, I went out to a date with the girl I’ve met and connected with Sunday.
She texted me she will be 20 minutes late, so I was already nearby and decided to talk to a couple of girls.
I talked to 2. Both lighted up their eyes and blushed and were reacting to me and impressed. It felt like a level of animal attraction that even Primal and Primal Seduction did not match. And I am getting that with Khan Total Breakdown. Girls respond to me with a high level of animal attraction, something about my aura is magnificent today.
Then I met my date. We connected deeply. We spent 4 hours together, talking. I tried to kiss her 3 times, but she is a good girl. However, all during the date she was giggling and looking at me like I am a delicious piece of meat. I love it. So I will take it slower with her, she is really beautiful, above average compared to the girls I meet, and she is highly educated and young.
So, today, all 3 girls were deeply attracted to me. Again, this is both incredible, even more than Primal Seduction, and I am still in Khan Total Breakdown.
How do I compare PS IT to Khan TB? With Khan TB, girls are very attracted, but I am not playful and I lost my ability to have a good conversation. PS IT makes the process more fun. While with Khan TB, I do less and get even more powerful attraction from girls.
I would say that with PS IT, you can sleep with girls faster because you are more playful and fun and leading. While Khan TB, the attraction is deeper, and you do less, but the girl chases you more, so she ends up investing more.
Then, I would say PS IT: If you want to get laid a lot with many women. Khan TB, if you want one or two high quality above average girls who are deeply attracted to you.
The good girl from the date today was trying her best to hold herself back, but sometimes she would not resist and just touch me or caress me. It felt very validating
We will see how things evolve. My conversations are awkward at the moment, and my energy is a bit low when interacting with women compared to PS IT. BUT they are at least 2x more attracted to me at the open.
Or maybe I had a good day with no rejections. We will see.
I relate a lot to the way you described the differences of Iron Throne and Khan. Iron Throne is playful, fun, openly and radiating sexuality. A lot of girls I’m seeing call me a fucc boy but there okay with it because that’s the vibe your giving off. I haven’t tried Khan yet and I’m not sure I will but it seems like it’s breaking you down and preparing you for more substantial relationships instead of just trying to put it in anything with a hole like iron throne lol. Interested to see how you progress on it with the later stages!
Yes. I think this describes the difference between the two really well.
If I would go further, Khan is the King who all the women respect and want and know he is the “ultimate” in power and masculinity.
While PS IT, it is the Prince, the young playful prince enjoying his youth and playing with all the girls, making them giggle and they fantasize about him while they see him playing with all the other girls.
Or to go further, PS IT is the fuckboy all the girls fuck and share. While Khan is the guy who owns the whole place and can put the fuckboy in his place if he wanted to, so all the girls know he is the highest most dominant authority in that place.
