Yes thats it…
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QL Q - Day 16
AscensionQ - Day 11
After the today lecture I was a bit tired so I took a nap. After the awakening it was everything normal until the night.
Now during the night I feel a bad feeling of discomfort and I feel as all the power I had few days ago vanished. I feal weak.
QL Q - Day 17 (2 loops)
AscensionQ - Day 12 (2 loops)
Today the feeling of discomfort is even bigger than yesterday. I trying to study but this emotion is strong in my chest.
Is this reconciliation or only emotions gathered from the bad weather?
Maybe I have to reduce to 1 loop either for Ascension and QL.
QL Q - Day 18 (2 loops)
AscensionQ - Day 13 (2 loops)
Okay. Today was much better than the past days. I never felt that bad feeling of discomfort / anxiety anymore. In the end I stayed on the 2 loops.
It was nice today when I felt a little spark of motivation in my chest about deepening my seduction skills. I got the urge to go out and socialize with girls. I didn’t do it because I had to study but there was this little push in wanting to go out and go and conquer them all.
Meanwhile, when I was studying today I felt a strange sensation inside me. I felt like what I was doing wasn’t enough. I imagined as I finished my homework today and ultimately received no gratification from them. What I was doing wasn’t enough for me. I wanted more.
I’m supposed to meet some girls from last week on Friday, and after the positive reactions they gave me last time, I can’t wait to meet them again to see what happens.
We go to the conquest!
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This made me laugh a bit, do you thing
Have to agree with this lol
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Have you used Ascension before?
Nope ,use quantum limitless before and the closes to ascension would be eog i guess
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QL Q - Day 20 (2 loops)
AscensionQ - Day 15 (1 loops)
Today after drinking a little I realized something.
Seeing all those girls that I thought were “options” to go stay and kiss other guys, I realized that there is no hope for me. I can not make it. It creates too much pain for me to see those girls who looked at me with sweet eyes (maybe) being with someone else.
Why does no one ever look for me?
Why does no one ever ask about me?
I’m destined to be alone …
I realized my problem is not about dominance or sexual worth it is more a thing of self-acceptance. Unfortunately, the facts always show me that I’m good for nothing.
There is no hope. There is no hope…
Now that I feeling better, I am clear minded and after the today mental breakdown I am really considerating adding rebirth to my stack.
I recognise to have a lot of emotional garbage and sometines self-destructive toughs. All of this I think is because my past emotional traumas.
I don’t know what let all this today negativity go out, maybe Ascension or maybe it’s reconciliation because I can’t soubconsciouly allineate the sub’s script to what happened in reality or maybe this is only what I think of my self at a profound level.
It sounds like reconciliation + a habit of rejecting yourself
You can stick with Ascension for a month solo-or add rebirth Q and/or Ultima
would be great for this situation.
This is what I was going to post before you last post-just never sent 
your in a painful collapsed, dramatic moment…I’ve been there many time’s
before.
Please trust perspective outside of what you perceive, which is your point of view-base on your hurt and current self-limits-…not reality.
with all due respect-there is absolutely hope. Actually there’s something better- focus on your process not one thing that happened or didn’t happen meaning the world…and you won’t need hope-you’ll have inevitability
You don’t know what life is like when your sense of self worth is not defined by female validation.
You don’t know what life is like when you have a connection mindset with woman-not a conquest one etc.
Keep up the subs and taking actions. Some of the guys who are the best with woman now, got that way cause they never gave up even when it sucked, they lost out, and it felt hopeless…including me (jk I’m not the bets but I am always working on this area and definitely grateful for where I am )now…especially compare to where I used to be.)
So please, while I have compassion for the painful moment you might be in-
have compassion for yourself…
have a pity party for a bit if you need.
then snap the fuck out of it
and never give up on what matters to you.
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Thanks @Azriel for the encouraging words, they are always nice.
The fact is that after continuous failures and disappointments, today I broke out. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. And yes, I know, I have always had this self-denial behavior toward myself and it always leads me to bad places.
But as you say, I will not give up!
I will keep moving forward, take action and have faith in the process.
I might think about adding one loop of Rebirth, it can help a lot.
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From the yesterday experience, after waking up this morning I had a couple of realizations:
-
why should I tirelessly seek the attention of others when no one does the opposite with me? I should let others seek my attention, and if they don’t do it then they are not worthy of my attention.
-
it is useless to try to always be seen happy and smiling. It is neither fair nor realistic.
-
no one will provide for my happiness except myself. Everyone thinks about their own happiness. Believing otherwise will only lead me to disappointment.
Who knows, subconsciously I may have accomplished more without realizing it.
Edit:
- do not set false expectations by deluding myself (about anything). If I want to convince myself of something I don’t have to do it with words, I have to prove it with actions.
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What are you running now?
@pacman Today and tomorrow are rest day for me but I am running QLQ and AscensionQ. I also have in program to add Rebirth to help me with old emotional traumas but I don’t know if it’s better using the Q version or the Ultima.
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QL Q - 1st Rest Day
AscensionQ - 1st Rest Day
Another realization I made today, staying with people (and this is very important) is:
I have too much of a good boy/buddy attitude. I have nothing sexual when it comes to girls (I’ve noticed this a lot today) and I’m not women’s first choice. At least that’s what I felt.
One of the girls I like, yesterday, when she saw me “depressed” (and boy if you could see that I was) said to me “what do you have? You know you can talk to me and tell me everything. You’re like a big brother to me” ( She broke my heart with this word). But then today when she was with her “boyfriend” (attracted to each other thanks to the power of alcohol) she kept looking at me from afar, and every time I turned around she was there looking at me and hinting at me a smile. I’m confused…
On the level of “dominance” I think it’s going the right way. I take my space. I like to be followed instead of being the pursuer. I have my say when I want, caring little about hurting others. I can keep up a group conversation (especially when I’m drinking. The dominant part is as if it comes out, as if my subconscious takes over. Is that you Ascension?).
Today I managed to get invited for New Year’s Eve to a party by a guy I don’t even know😂 for this ability of being able to talk to others. It’s a good thing.
In summary. The “respect for men” part I think is building well in me, I am missing the “seducer of women” part because if they continue to see me as a friend / brother or non-sexual man I will never go on.
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So you basically a “incel in denial”, cuck if you still hope that woman who see you as a brother will get freaky with you. Remember all woman are freaks but not to anyone, if you fail to resurface the freakish attitude deep inside her, she already sees you as incompetent and will never open her floodgates for you under no circumstances.
Do not misunderstand. I’m not hoping for anything I just wrote what I observed.
“Incel” means involuntary celib right? Bad word. I’m only a man that have some difficulty with young ladies although I know the dynamics.
In the past despite my social/emotional weakness I had some girl (good too. On a personal and aesthetic level if I really have to dwell on this point) without knowing how I did it.
But now it’s all complicated for me. I can no longer do anything with women (who knows why?). For this I started a sub like Ascension, so that it can give me more control in this aspect of my life. And as I said the social part and the respect of other men is basically managed, it is with girls that it is a trauma thing.
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I was reading this interesting topic about nice guys on the forum and I caught this post that I wanted to quote.
It reminds me a lot of myself of the part that says Nice Guy Syndrome can be associated with a distorted bond with parents. Well I have always had an emotionally distant relationship with my father and although I have improved over time growing up I still feel that little “brake” on him. He was always a good father and yet I feel that.
Maybe I’m finding one of the main causes of my problem (especially with women).
It is then recommended to use Ascension (which I am already doing. In Q version) and Regeneration (in my previous posts I wrote that I was considering to insert Rebirth Q / ultima in my stack)
What do you tell me? Better to add Rebirth or Regeneration?
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Rebirth Ultima will be easier to run, but might not cause the deep change you want. It WILL help you burrow through some of the reconciliation and issues that arise. Regeneration will be harder to run, but causes deeper change.
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Very well. So I guess I will insert a RegenerationQ loop between QL and Ascension.
There are some profound changes to be made and the difficulty or heaviness of the sub is a price I accept to bear.
Thank you @SaintSovereign
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