From someone who wrote this profound quote:
I wasn’t ready for Khan.
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Still running Primal Seduction alongside.
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… mystery solved.
Ascended Mogul does have physical shifting tech. Intriguing and exciting!
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sexual healing
Funny thing about rest days, you wait ages for mate guarding and 4 come along at once. My thought popped up:
I must be a shameful human being to try and steal another person’s girl.
Then I thought:
“I’ve dressed in a tight black shirt, you damn right I’ve come to take yo’ girl
I’m sexy, They scared”.
Checked myself in the toilet mirror, yep I understand why they would protect their girl, look at me 
I’m the dude they lust after!
Several women just walking past looked like they would take a seat on me straight away. All smiling to themselves imagining naughty things… one had a look of "all yours if you want it"
This then triggered and healed a real bad memory from several years ago where a woman I dated cut short a “session”; she lead, I hesitated… that was the end. Super painful to finish up on your own…
walking on air
A feeling of being free, no more trauma baggage left, just lighter, emptier, calmer and more balanced state of equilibrium never before felt ever.
Most important belief change of the past year is:
I do what I want.
All that’s missing now is a purpose. Art and energy healing are good little side hustles and have received small amounts, now it’s time to start bringing in the big cash.
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recon rage
Why am I still so open to others and the world?
I remember being so open at high school that I thought hanging round anyone who would pay attention was my friend. They would insult me in their own languages and I would sit there and take it. Basically showing them how little self worth I had.
Then trying to get others to like me at university. No one wanted to know me or be near me. Dancing in a group on a Saturday night the room would clear where I was.
Then being the sitting duck at work where the hospital physicians would conspire to get me fired, just for not being their little yes man and slave (they looked down on admin).
Then having a woman friend walk off after 7 years with no explanation.
Of course family also don’t care.
"Give love to get love"
What a joke.
No one cares, however much you offer yourself up to others. Not everyone is your friend.
Being so open that I forgot who I was. Isn’t reality a bitch?
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No one likes your when you stand your ground. Everybody loves a yes man.
Most people are so shallow that they get their sense of power from controlling or belittling others. It’s like stand on someone then look tall.
Sometimes it’s not really recon rage. It’s basically you standing up or fighting back when you being stamped on.
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I figured it was something to do with Ascended Mogul and “what if”, triggered off by something today.
Part of it is also being powerless to change others’ minds about me, so the worst thing is they think I’m bad and I can’t do jack about it.
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forced off the plank
I knew round the corner from a bad recon episode is greatness. This is what the recon revealed:
I still care what others think.
It exists in a thought bubble over my shoulder, like the judgmental voice of my parents.
The incident that triggered it (I won’t mention it) pushed me all the way to recon breaking point. I had a life choice to make:
-
Are you still going to feed the black wolf (others opinions controlling your actions)
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or do you start nourishing the White wolf? (Putting my opinions first)
Am I going to let the nebulous “terror” threat of “what will they say?” going to stop me pursuing and attracting opportunities, or start to not give a fuck? Be so self assured, contained and calm (with a strong respect vibe) that others feel uncomfortable in comparison?
test the floor
The other thing I realised I’ve missed out on growing up was having an good, early foundation. Some people use culture, religion or tradition as a frame to navigate their world. Mine never existed, it was survive by any means necessary, duck and dive, keep your head down and protec’ ya neck.
@remarkable mentions the low position most people (including survivors of trauma) have with a lack of a steady foundation.
Ascended Mogul gave me that foundation. In two months the program built a solid ground to stand on my own two feet and think for myself.
It’s far from finished but have a quantum leap in self worth in a couple of weeks? I’ll definitely take that.
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Get up, stand up
Not the most elegant way of responding to disrespectful behaviour, telling someone who pulled up their mask on sight of me, an exempt person to “go fuck himself”.
This has been happening quite a lot recently, possibly as an Ascended Mogul challenge to finally speak up and stand up for myself and did it. Other people were consistent with their own stances, which I have absolutely no problems with. But this person who believed I was at risk solely based on my skin colour? Well, you can go fuck yourself.
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Two month review. What’s going right?
- I appear to have changed build (clothes from last year are too tight)
- Much more mentally rock solid, confident, feeling more like an elite alpha male.
- Voice carries deeper and stronger.
- My walk is powerful.
- My stare is powerful. Got an experienced security guard to look DOWN in a staring contest.
- Attractive women are everywhere, making their indicators of interests more blatant.
- Flirty and intense with the women, respectful but displaying a “don’t mess with me” subcommunication.
a tale of two legs
Sat opposite the train with a brunette on the train and her male friend. She made sure to face me directly. After a while she noticed I was looking at her - that was her ignition switch. She kept giving out constant (and I mean constant) IOIs: smoothing her legs, shaking her feet, stroking her neck, uncrossing legs.
I imagined doing naughty things to her whilst staring at her, which seemed too much for her, because several times she put her hands down her skirt. It’s was to reveal a bit of side skin, but
I did think to myself "are you really going to masturbate on the train???"
I imagine her dilemma was thus:
I’m so aroused by Big @Michel that I am more hotter and wetter than the Amazon rainforest. But how do I hide my unbridled, visceral urge to sleep with him from my boyfriend?
Quick, lean on him and act interested…
All I did was sit back and enjoy the show
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Game of Thrones Style War Cry: "Michel The WHITE WOLF is King in the NORTH!!!"
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Hahaha! A healthy dose of jealousy and arousal in her because of a rise in his status led to a warm bedding too.
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step 1: principles
Nothing much to report, turned down a guaranteed £1000 for 5 days work because of a requirement I wasn’t comfortable doing (you can probably guess which). I told my workplace I will not be doing the requirement under any circumstances and am prepared for any backlash/punishment they feel like cooking up. Last year I also walked out of a job for similar reasons.
Aren’t you shooting yourself in the foot, we all need money bro?
Principles.
Can’t be done all the time of course but some are more palatable than others. This one, I felt they crossed the line personally. Taking a stand is slightly irritating when I simply want to progress forward, but on this subject, I don’t joke about.
step 2: open your mouth and speak
Attraction from women is starting to get crazy. Imagine you’re just chilling out in the sun on grass and a tall woman walking past suddenly flips out on her big dog, forcibly grabbing its head and pulling something out of its mouth.
I would like to think that is really was about the dog eating something it shouldn’t have, but I suspect she was sending out a domination signal (“this is how I would like you to treat me - in bed”). 
The day before I opened up a blonde at IKEA who couldn’t find a certain lamp shade and I kept the conversation going as long as I could. I said to myself: open your mouth and say something interesting, then move on. But she then starting hovering close to me whilst shopping… I had another woman essentially follow me round the aisles at a supermarket, even stopping at the men’s section where I was…
This Primal Seduction journey is getting interesting. I might need to seek out additional dating instructions on how to move it forward since they are seeking me out on a regular basis.
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Another blonde!
This time she stood real close to me on a busy train, almost begged for me to be talk to her, and I did after a lot of hints. She wore a tattoo of a symbol, of which I knew a bit about, and got into a conversation with her.
It was like Primal Seduction not only manifested her in close proximity, she was very receptive and was my type.
The only thing missing was GETTING HER NUMBER. 
Honestly I couldn’t believe my luck at how far it went just from bring coerced by the sub to talk! As much as I would like to congratulate myself for taking action, I’m beating myself up for not asking for her number…
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Next time you will 
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Totally normal. In hindsight, we tend to be hard on ourselves for not “going all the way,” or whatever.
If I may say so, give yourself this win, however “small” of an increment it may seem because it’s the consistent small victories over our past patterns that add up to great changes…and like Hermit said, “Next time you will”
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As @Hermit said it will happen, it shall be done 
@summit yep, definitely. Thanks. PS is ending the mother of all dry spells within 3 months.
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I would rather ask her out straight ahead, and get her number in the process. 
Step by step. Good 
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