Back to work
First day back at work since the [___].
A long time work associate told me I got big (big swole or big fat?) then immediately left to join his crew. I cannot have 2021 start in the same way 2020 ended with fickle half arsed breadcrumbing. But instead of getting upset, I turned it around and reflected on a year’s change.
So, what has changed in a year?
Definitely more alpha: much much stronger self belief that comes across as banter, deeper voice and being more honest, self directed and contained, although a few times still seeking approval and a bailout (not taking enough responsibility for my own actions). I guess a few others looked towards me for directions and help too.
Bigger - in build, none of my clothes fit anymore across the chest and arms. I suspect Ascended Mogul contains physical body improvements to add pounds to my physique. If that’s the case, I’m impressed.
Those actually in charge were more “alpha” than me - but not by much: more powerful voices, certainty in their decisions and basic man management is all that separates me from them - and even then, leadership skills are easy to learn.
Customers tend not to fuck with me: at least three times, customers who were angry with our service tended to avoid fighting with me and picking on my colleague, (which shows a lack of class) but a good indicator of my unspoken power - don’t even try to test me.
Calmer attitude to work: No longer wanting to prove that “I am the hardest working worker please give me attention and love please please please” and just said fuck it - I do my best and let the chips fall where they may. Also no longer too bothered winning over some of the more dismissive and disrespectful colleagues, I just ignore them now. Not worth my time or attention.
Things to improve: not to be too enthusiastic and too keen on getting somewhere with the job and concentrate on growing the side business instead. AM tend to lead towards promotions but now I don’t want them, I’d rather redirect the work pay to my own endeavours.
It’s easy to lose perspective on what has changed (thanks reconciliation) but the alpha foundation is built. I’m no elite, but it’s way stronger now than last year on Khan (+ trauma). A couple more months should finish the job.
Side note: I was promised several slaps by a female security guard