So good to hear this man. And I totally get it, when it feels like you got conned out of most of your life there’s a lot of frustration there. Glad you’re getting what you deserve now though.
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Ascension is going to be the base sub for a few weeks as I’m getting a lot out of it in terms of foundation work and self worth.
More benefits
- unexpected amount of money came in
- emotional stability for the first time
- looking for a new meaning in life (away from being the kicked dog)
- feeling like I want more from life
Starting from less than zero had a kind of benefit within the abusive household, just trying to survive but now I am on the first rung of the ladder. Stability is the name of the game and even maybe aim for the next step up.
There were times where I felt good enough to reach out to others, except my mistake was doing this with extended family members coming round to visit - I got disinterest back. However once I stopped blaming myself for it, I spotted it and left. Lesson of discernment and not just sharing my essence with anyone.
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Are you currently in an abusive household or was that in the past?
Past was more to do with stifling and suppressing myself as a child, tightly controlling what I did, both parents emotionally and physically abusive.
Trouble is those type of memories are merged in one which are largely forgotten, so even I doubt sometimes whether it was as bad as I thought. But it was mostly undermining and mocking combined with being the emotional punching bag - figuratively and sometimes literally.
I see. Thank you for clarifying.
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Seeker with the 1111th post 
Posting this for reference (as an ISFP, similar functioning FiSeNe);
Your perspective is 110% spot on @Fractal_Explorer.
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Reaching towards 28 days of Ascension and Mogul (with Ascended Mogul) and I should have a regular job as customer service manager. This is a watershed moment as this came about simply because I felt I deserve to have more self esteem. Previously jobs were temporary, hospitality gigs as a reflection of where I stood in life at “less than zero”.
Ascension is essentially leveling up and in sense joining regular life with the adults by being more self sufficient and deserving life.
I also received a monetary gift from a client who I worked with last year on a voluntary basis and thought to help out financially, which came just in time. If that’s not a blessing from above (and a little ZP shifting) I don’t know what is.
Since I’ve spent enough time creating art, I’ve asked for a strong stack for an ISFP in the future as art won’t leave me alone 
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I love that statement! 
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Quick update, I’ve started my manager’s job and starting to earn a decent wage packet. Ascended Mogul is doing its job. But I’ve decided to add Power Can Corrupt ZP because unfortunately in this line of work, there are professional bullshitters and con artists. Ive already sniffed out some unsavoury people out of work, so interesting to see how this goes within work. In fact I could have done with PCC in the past when being smooth talked by the various women in the past who ended up wasting my time.
Again, art still won’t leave me alone so I’ve left a little Ultimate Artist as the third spin in my stack too. 
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What field do you work in?
Love is my true north
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Dealing with money, so there are scammers and cheats abound trying to do you, otherwise the same type of people will use confidence tricks to charm or distract.
Either way PCC is good in general for outside work too for the charm and appeal.
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Power Can Corrupt ZP works.
One scammer tried it on with me and I saw through his bullshit in real time. In my head I could sense the red flags going off one by one. For example
Over friendly
Talkative
Convincing tone
Good frame (not as good as mine)
Before it happened I was relaxed and joking, letting others lead. Once the flags added up, I switched to serious alpha mode, even becoming angry. I HATE cheats.
Bear in mind that PCC needs an alpha title to work from, by itself is good, but you need to act on the information.
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I see. Thank you for elaborating.
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Once again - Power Can Corrupt is the absolute shiznit.
Well well well, if it isn’t some people talking behind my back? At work for ONE. WEEK. and somebody is spreading rumours about me being lazy?!? Already? And I know who the source is too.
Man, I cried because this is someone who knew who presented themselves as a helpful person, but was pulling strings in the darkness.
I’ll hold no ill will with those people involved but they do not get any access to my life anymore. A cut off is in order. Good thing is I expected it and now I get to deal with it efficiently and quietly. No drama needed.
Power Can Corrupt is a blessing. It’s helping with the past and current life lessons that man (and woman) isn’t to be trusted, no one gives a damn and will sell your arse given a chance. Not being negative, but realistic.
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Coworkers often seem to be a concentrated source of backstabbers. I just can’t understand why there are many people who want to do others so dirty, to hold a position in a company that would replace you in a snap if it benefits the executives.
I gotta laugh at how easily and fully many people invest their inner resources into something they didn’t even build and will never come to own.
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I know at least one person in the middle of it absolutely does not like me at all and just knowing that is causing me to mess up at work. I try to be friendly and get stonewalled.
I don’t know what to do other than get my shit together and stop trying to get people to like me. I hate being cold to others but it may be necessary.
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Start having conversations with those who he is talking shit about you…so they get to know you.
It worked for me,
stark helped me a lot…
I didnt pushed it, the moments and people just appeared naturally at the right time
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Well you could take @Doc advice or you may end up like me. Honestly with the childhood you had I’m surprised you’re still try being friendly. Just saying since it seems we had similar upbringings and experiences with ppl.
Not saying you have to move how I do but honestly I think I stopped caring about fitting in around the time I was in 9th grade. Ironically the less I cared about fitting in since then, the more people wanted to socialize with me. Kind of speaks to that old principle, what you chase runs away.
Not accusing you of being desperate of course. I get it man, you wanna be the chill guy that gets along easily with folks but honestly the world’s full of dislikable ppl. 10 years ago when I made the choice to start focusing on myself more and start getting in touch with my inner “jerk” I found that others started responding to me better (ironically). Most times I was never a jerk for no reason but I think that decision started to unleash an energy that ppl became drawn to. Someone who’s comfortable doing they’re own thing no matter what seems to draw ppl in, even when you want them to stay away from you lol.
You don’t have to be cold to everyone, just start off neutral and give back the energy ppl give you. Do your best to give fair treatment, one way or the other. Just always remember that no matter how cool someone seems it’s best not to trust them 100% just in case. Don’t share anything with them that you don’t want others finding out about.
Just focus on liking, and more importantly loving yourself by focusing on your self improvement and just be you. Ppl will either like you or they won’t but trust me, you’ll live either way. The relationship you have with yourself will always be your most important, no matter how anyone else feels about you.
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True to that
When i overcame shit whith khan q
Everything started to fall in place
And in my last washout
Wanted, stark and ps pulled me so much
In the zone that everything bad at work cleared
Out without doing much, just by being me and talking to the people when we crossed path or met outside smoking
The one who talked shit was left in the rain without any ammunition, but i still talked normally with him coz he is young and mybe dont know better…
His brother is a great and friendly guy though
Good that everything went so smoothly
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