this post relating to wanted is to ironic! there something about nordic features is just so damn bombshell eh mate… also not sure does @Michel schooner relate to portsmouth ?
Schooner = adopted/honorary Nova Scotian, Halifax 
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With your focus on healing, I’m surprised you have not completed DR!
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I’ve read your DR journal @subliminaluser, could you say whether it deals with aura cleaning? Apparently others can unconsciously pick up on what’s written in the aura.
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I believe that too. Sometimes you see someone, and you just like them instantly, or you see someone else and you think that there’s something icky about that person… I believe you’re seeing and feeling that person’s aura.
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Somehow it all comes back to narcissistic childhood trauma. Maybe I have been dancing around the subject for 2 years pretending to be “alpha man” but each other sub eventually calls back.
Giving the Elixir a go.
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Please keep us updated.
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Enter the Dragon
This may the most difficult journey of my life.
My mind, body, energy and spirit have been compromised. My identity was stolen. I’m confused and powerless to change. My inner space was violated and the boot was firmly on my neck.
It’s time to purge.
I’ve realised that my abusive upbringing is still blocking my path. Battling the constant shame, rejection and struggling to build my own life is making growth difficult, even with the subs.
I’ll just have to accept that I had no choice in childhood, abuse shaped my very being and now I can choose to strip it away.
Enter stage 1.
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Stage 1 - Setting Sail
Initial thoughts: There’s a fire that burns in the stomach, cleaning up my chakras, then moving upwards through the body. Feels like I’ve had an intense reiki session.
Sensation lingered around my heart for a while, possibly dealing with heartache and grief, then seemed to filter up my neck muscles and head.
Overnight dreams spoke to childhood upsets and failures, not being able to pass exams owing to a complete lack of confidence.
Early results are a total lack of shame over being and doing what I want, without the shadow of “what will others think/looks of rejection”.
I don’t know if it will be this easy all the time, but I’m prepared.
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I’m wondering if Sanguine might help you on your journey. What do you think?
Not sure as DR was a big purchase for me.
I’ve seen Elixir used as a recon add-on, I might try that if it gets unbearable.
My life has been one long recon episode, so I’m not scared of emotional pain.
Famous last words 
If there’s something that we can do that might help, please post.
Also:
please submit a support ticket about this.
Yes, please, as in now, please. Seriously. Please.
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First impressions:
Feels like an intense reiki session, starts with a warmth in the stomach. Then it moves up to the heart centre and filters upwards to the head. Serious hands were recorded on this program.
So far, so smooth. Not feeling crippling recon.
I feel “clean”, like an ice cold shower. Before listening, my spirit body felt like it had creaks and cracks and energy leaks, now the various negative energy clumps have been released and I have even more energy. Spoke to a Whole Foods assistant and he said I have a good energy. Also got a free coffee drink on the house 
Most important: now I do what I want. No more guilt tripping “what will they think of me?” and fearing and expecting to be rejected and judged negatively by others. Assuming others were better than me and had more say. Assuming I don’t deserve anything out of life. Fuck that noise.
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I’m happy for you about this.
Now I have a question, did you submit a support ticket about the above?
About the recon episodes? Naw, I’ll probably save that for when DR gets really hard.
Ended up sending a ticket after all, the response was thoughtful and interesting. Support surprised me with their reply.
Confidence - the elusive beast
Imagine being unrelentingly beaten, blamed and criticised for things that aren’t your responsibility by people who were supposed to love you? Then try and succeed in the real world. That’s my issue. DR is wiping this clean.
Luckily DR Stage 1 is quite light, cleaning out the solar plexus area, memories of being crap at high school (except art) came back, no real trauma behind it.
I was able to figure out that I give up easily if someone mocks or rejects my truest expression of my real self. Been adopting an identity that could be accepted by some.
Deep discoveries.
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Would you please post the reply here?
Others might benefit:
@Fractal_Explorer tagging you to stand by.
Thanks for reaching out to us. Confidence can be a struggle sometimes, especially when we’re not always in supportive environments. I’m sorry this is your current situation.
We’re excited to hear of your success with DR, Ascension is a great title to help boost your confidence. I also believe you can have great success with Spartan and/or StarkQ. These titles can help give you the boost of confidence you need and help you overlook or not care for the unpleasant comments said by others.
Remember, many time people will point out what they believe are flaws on you to make their flaws look better. Try not to let those things invest too much space in your mind. You are already taking steps to better yourself and are on the right track mentally, envy from others will only increase the better you become. The best thing you can do is stay focused on your goals and become the best version of you!
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With Dragon Reborn, its smooth sailing so far.
A realisation followed from the 5th day. Eventually I’ll come across someone who has a bad reaction to me just being present (spitting, running away scared, pulling up masks) and I’ll take their side. I’ll shrink myself to make the other person “right” in their judgment of me. Automatically. Without thinking about it.
Then it hit me - How can confidence build if you’re joining the war against yourself?
What’s the correct alternative?
Instead of trying to control their reactions, how about this - if they can reject me, I can reject them and protect myself?
Recognise there is a True North within, to start listening to it and build up it’s strength in order to withstand the trade winds of life. Sounds like a plan.
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What has the Sea Dragon dredged up from the depths now?
Lack of Confidence
OK great, that’s what every healer and counselor I’ve ever seen said. But why? Tell me and I’ll fix it.
The crux of the matter is this:
I must emotionally separate myself from others opinions. There is no more collective we, it’s now me and them. No more merging and forgetting.
some astrology
Anyone proficient in north nodal astrology can recognize the journey from Aquarius past life skills to Leo current life lessons.
They call it codependency. Emotionally relying on other people to tell you good (mostly bad) things about yourself, then taking it as the absolute gospel truth about yourself. Removing the responsibility and burden for others’ displeasure off my shoulders.
Detaching and becoming whole and independent was the way to fix my confidence. Shame that lesson took 30+ years to learn, better late than never.
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