It’s okay Michael, it is difficult for a lot of us and you are leaning right out of your comfort zone! Awesome! It’s okay you will get there and it’s fine to test the waters first and start with some good small talk
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My favorite way to do this is “hi”.
Some people will tell you that’s generic and lame and she hears “hi” 1000000 times a week. But what’s important is your tone of voice and your body language.
I find with WANTED or PS, just saying “hi” and then it’s almost like the subliminal script takes over.
What is your playlist going to be for the next 7 days?
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Happens to most guys at one point or another, so don’t let it eat at you. Use it to improve.
One thing you might try is replaying the scenario with how you would have done things, and visualize a future experience where a chick catches your eye and what you’ll do then. Create that pattern in advance.
Then get out there and test yourself.
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Get in the habit of speaking to strangers, even those that you´re not attracted to. Then the gears will be well lubricated when you´re going for the hot girls.
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Like @RVconsultant said, saying hi works fine. It’s not a problem where there isn’t much at stake, but it’s as if I needed to say something impressive to get her hooked.
Doing this in conjunction with discovering what emotional blocks came up. New journal entry coming up.
Ascended Mogul ± Iron Throne with a 1 on, 1 off listening schedule, which seems to work better for me than 1 loop, 5 on, 2 off.
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I would encourage you to think about a 4 day a week listening schedule.
This is a wrong mindset to have . Basically you are trying to ‘impress’ / ‘qualify’ to her by doing something impressive. She will sense that.
Having done 100+ approaches , saying as simple as ‘You look like a cat’ will make her laugh.
Remember she will be nervous too .
So trust your instinct . Just tell what comes to the mouth . Verbals doesn’t really matter . It’s just to fill the silence , all the while you make eye contact / touch her.
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Important to keep in mind. I’ve had some women who are incredibly good looking, just stare and stammer… I’d think they would be more socially skilled because I would think they would know how to respond because I would think good looking women would have more experience talking with men, yet they can react just as nervously as anyone else.
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To update this journal, I’ve since been for extensive solar plexus energy healing and now I have become a new person, or rather returning to my old self (before life became really difficult.) I’ve given some deep thought into my more immediate goals too as I also have a milestone birthday coming up.
Reviewing my new goals, I’ve streamlined my stack as follows:
- Ascension replaces Ascended Mogul
- Iron Throne becomes an ultima
- addition of Daredevil
Why Daredevil? My social skills suck, they have done since primary school (before life got difficult). I’ve missed out on this aspect of life since I became fearful of the world. Now life is passing by and since I’ve got nothing to lose, why not go for it? I’m a type A person anyway, as proven by the success on StarkQ last year.
Consider this a new bold chapter to becoming fearless.
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Just wanted to say hi and thank you for your well written journal. I am neglecting the forum currently a bit, but I felt there is a lot to learn from reading the progress of other people.
Best to you, @Michel - I am curious to follow your journey with Dare Devil and co.
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Facts, most don’t know what unconditional love is so they don’t appreciate it and even view it as weak. Then when you snatch it back you’re an “asshole”.
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Daredevil early result:
I DID IT. I FINALLY TALKED TO A WOMAN!
I got some tips on starting a random conversation from a “non-pickup” pickup artist (aren’t they all?) which was instead of remembering canned lines, just open your eyes and observe.
So I did, she was sitting across me on her laptop eating her fruits and after plucking up the courage I leaned over and said to her “you like pineapple, ugh…” She smiled and laughed. The conversation was sporadic, me trying to think of things to say, but she did mentioned she was half working and half watching “Love Island”.
So after a bit of a gap, I just moved over to her table and asked her straight up "anybody have sex yet?". “No, they’re just arguing…” “Isn’t that what we’re waiting for???”
Convo ended when she got off, I wanted to shake hands , she didn’t want to touch. Oh well.
I FINALLY DID IT. Forget about trying to get her phone number, these are vital social skills.
Nervous? Sure. Did I show it? A little. Did I plough through? Yes.
If I didn’t have a mini altercation at a store beforehand this achievement wouldn’t have happened. Thanks, store, you bastard.
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LOL. This is gold. Very natural and cocky.
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I agree.
Imagine if a good looking woman came up to you and said, “boy it’s really cold in here.” You would smile and say, yeah it’s pretty cold. It wouldn’t matter what she said if you found her attractive. Same applies with women. If a woman finds you attractive, doesn’t really matter what you said.
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Agree… I’ve had moments where I walk up to a woman I find attractive, get her attention and just stand there looking and admiring her her for a while. Not a death stare, but because you’re genuinely curious about her. If the chemistry is right(trust your gut) they often melt.
After that what I usually do is say something like; I really love your energy or I love the way you smile, whatever comes up in the moment. I rarely focus on her outer appearance such as clothing or similar. Just saying genuinly that you admire someone’s energy and meaning it is a genuine thing to do. The truly given gift entails no loss.
She is attracted to your masculine energy and not what you say. Masculine takes the form of the observer and the giver of attention(without needing anything back), and the feminine that which receives attention.
What I find is good in general with all people and especially women is to be curious and appreciative. If not you often start juding people or comparing yourself to them, which will be met with a pushing back on a subconscious level. No one want’s to be judged negatively.
I literally don’t know what a shit test is anymore since dropping trying to be something that I’m not.
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Impressive!
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Talking to women should just be natural, like breathing. Again, referring to the “non-pickup” artist, his favourite line is “if you don’t know what to say, just go up to her and say anything”. As long as you’re congruent with who you say you are, it will land. But be masculine with it.
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Nice !! I haven’t heard this from anywhere.
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Yes. Funny thing in life is that when you let go of it, it happens. I had years of trying to change and become more “manly”, posture, voice, heck I even developed a new style of walking like I owned the very pavement underneath my feet… round and round it went in my head, do this, say that, act cool… … …
And now I just don’t care anymore and it all clicks. It’s all about expression, you want to talk to that girl, you hesitate, minds goes kvack kvack, and you try to reconsile it with some random explanation… yadi yadi… and you put more rocks in your backpack!
It all mirrors you, the world is the perfect mirror… We all want to feel loved, even that hot girl in the bar. When you come from a frame that just want to sooth your own little inner child that feels hurt, that’s what you project out, and voila…
I’ve found that the hardest thing in life is to surrender to yourself, lay down your arms, stop fighting, be like water or whatever. Sounds easy but yet this mirrage of smokescreens keeps appearing all the time.
I’ve also noticed a microscopic delay between what is and what we perceive is happening around us. When it comes natural to you whatever it is, you just do it, you enjoy it, but as soon as you hesitate you prolonge that gap. And when you try explain it in your head as it happens, the gap becomes even longer. In comes anxiety…
That’s what flow state is to me at least, it just happens, you don’t analyze or rationalize, it’s just is pure enjoyment. You become that inner child that you always were. Am I willing to look past people’s behaviors and realize that the only one I judge is myself?? Forgive others and you forgive yourself, forgive yourself and you forgive others.
Understand that the ego has evolved over millions of years and does exactly what it is supposed to do, to survive. Picture it as a cute little teddybear, hug it and love it for what it is, be grateful for it.
It’s just energies, yin anf jang, plus and minus on a battery etc. Or like magnets, turn them around and they all of a sudden repel each other rather than attract.
A good start if you want to find out more is reading David Deida - Way of the superior man, that’s how it started for me. But that’s just the surface, when you actually feel it inside yourself, deeper than any thoughts or emotions… that’s when you really start to get it.
Then you see and realize that we are just like magnets. Then you don’t have to analyze or or try to find a logic explanation of why all of a sudden that girl suddenly left all her friends to go home with that guy…
Edit: just saw that my post was 1000/1000 lol
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