Eighteen Months of the True Khan

TITLE:True Khan

OBJECTIVE STATEMENT: Quite simply to become the man who gets what he wants in life. I have been lacking two things to make that happen. The first is persuasion ability (charm, social dominance, ect.) and the second is the drive to overcome the inhibitions that I’ve always had.

COMPONENTS:

Module #1 Khan ST1 Core
Module #2 True Sell Core
Module #3 Fortune’s Favorite
Module #4 Alpha Body Language
Module #5 Mountain Breaker
Module #6 Potentiator
Module #7 Furious Ascent
Module #8 Song of Joy
Module #9 Seducer’s Gaze
Module #10 Voice Master
Module #11 Story Teller
Module #12 Rogue
Module #13 Entranced
Module #14 Lifeblood Fable
Module #15 Inner Gasoline
Module #16 Fusion Optimized
Module #17 Stress Displacement
Module #18. Perfect Style & Smell
Module #19. Charisma & Flirting Automatic Mentor/Improver 1
Module #20 Mosiac

PROJECTED RUN: 8/1/2022-1/31/2024

RUN PATTERN: Standard ZP recommended pattern. Four cycles for the first three stages, at least six for stage four. Paired with no more than one other main title or custom at a time which may be switched out as needed or wanted. I may also play with the modules when I switch stages.

GOALS OBJECTIVE:

  • Increase my base income by at least $25,000 per year.
  • Have sex with at least five different women during the run. (Note: The wife and I have an open relationship)
  • Have a new job which pays enough to meet goal #1, has advancement opportunities, and is more satisfying than the one I currently hold.
  • Regularly participate in activities that I find fun and which give me the opportunity to have a social life.
  • Be moved into a new house that meets the needs of my wife with her disability and is in an area where we are more comfortable.
  • Have achieved a blue belt in the BJJ program I started.
  • Have lost enough fat and gained enough muscle that I have no noticeable gut and a visible V taper shape.

GOALS SUBJECTIVE:

  • Increase my social and persuasive ability to the point that I can use it to get what I want out of life. Not by being manipulative, but by convincing and “selling” what I need to.
  • Eliminate any social anxiety that survived last year’s DR run.
  • Become more able to directly go for/ask for what I want.
  • Be able to start a conversation with anyone in any environment, group or individual.
  • Be able to steer that conversation where I want it to go. Wether that is for some purpose or just to draw an interesting conversation out of someone for enjoyment.
  • Be able to relax and have fun more than I do.

This is a very aggressive social and sexual custom. The aim is to allow me to have more ability to shape my life and my world how I want it. I think my main stumbling blocks to having the life I want has been having weak social skills, and a lot of anxiety when dealing with others. Especially if I don’t know them that well, and really especially in mass social situations.
I believe that DR has cleared out a lot of the anxiety so I’m no longer afraid to socialize, but it’s left me in a kind of a blank slate state. I may not be afraid to anymore, I just don’t know how.
This should fix that.

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Overcoming inhibitions are the most fun and challenging things. Will definitely keep up with this journal brotha.

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  • A little background on me (yes this is mostly copied from my last journal).
  • Some background on me. I am about six months from forty five, male, rather tall and pretty damn good looking if I do say so myself. I am currently in an open marriage, but I don’t have much time or exposure to do anything about that. At the moment that is because I work nights, and usually a lot more than forty hours a week.
    When I’m not doing that, I take care of a lot at home because we have a five year old, and my wife has MS.
    The last five years or so have been a constant major financial struggle. It peaked when my wife lost her last job in 2019 we think because her MS was preventing her from picking up on the new duties. She decided that she wasn’t able to work anymore and applied for disability. That process took more than two years.
    Those were the most stressful two years of my life, but now that I’m out of them, I see that I was able to pull off miracle after miracle to keep us afloat and we had an amazing stroke of luck every time we needed one. I credit the manifestation scripting in these subs for at least part of that.
    In the beginning of this year, she got more disability money than we expected, and life has been getting better since then.

  • WORK: I’ve been trying to get into a certain field for many years. I’ve actually made it twice, but managed to self sabotage my way out in the OJT phase both times. I now know why that happened and I believe that I’ve dealt with the problem. I currently work in a pretty dead end job that is closely related to the field I want to be in, but definitely isn’t it. It pays well and gives me plenty of time to think. There’s that at least.
    One of the things that I was planning on doing this year is making a full court press to get back into that field. Now though, I’m starting to think that I don’t need to keep throwing good energy after bad and am starting to be open to going in another direction. I don’t know what that is yet, but I’m open to it.

  • Romantic/Sex: My subliminal usage over the last few years made me realize that I have always been a girl magnet. At least since the last couple years of high school. Thinking back over my life, every time that I had regular contact with women, a few have blatantly offered themselves to me.
    Problem is that I didn’t see that at the time so I missed a whole lot of opportunities. It took a year on DR to get me to see that. Self esteem problems had me telling myself a very different story. Still, enough were blatant enough that I’ve racked up a body count several times the lifetime average for a man. And I’m not done yet.
    Since the beginning of the year, my sex life with the wife has picked up a lot. It went from once every month or less to three to six times a week, and it’s become REALLY good too. We are both interested in pursuing other partners and doing other exciting things now as well.

  • Subliminal use: Back in 2006 I lost a job for the simple reason that I lacked self confidence. It was a lifetime problem that I hadn’t really been aware of, and I needed to find a solution. Everyone told me to “just be confident” which was about as useful as “just land the space shuttle”. “Fake it till you make it” wasn’t much better. I didn’t even know how to ACT confident. I scoured the net and found all kinds of things, books, hypnosis, and finally one of the Brand X subliminal companies. You know the ones. They’ve got about ten million titles that at the time came on a CD for twenty bucks or so. The scripts were just affirmations and the directions were to get as much exposure as humanly possible.
    I got their confidence title and did just that. For a long time I played it all night at work, and all of my sleep time. It took quite some time before a friend mentioned something that made me realize that it was working. But working it was.
    I was on and off of this that and the other subliminal stack for the next quite a few years, and they did something, but never got me to where I wanted to be.
    I did find that one company seemed to be actively developing things further (the producer who shall not be named around here). His stuff DID work considerably better. I stuck mostly with that company until I found Subclub with results ranging from mediocre to miraculous.
    Then once I got here, I bounced around on pre Q stacks for a while. I then spent six months on an Ascension based custom and the entire last year on Dragon Emperor.
    I’m glad that I took the time out for healing. I think that I’ll get much better results from here. I’m feeling a lot better than I was a year ago and I’m ready for the ass kicking to begin.

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Very nice reading, thumb up.

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  • Links to my last two journals. The Year of The Dragon Emperor is especially important because it really cleared the way for the progress I think I’m going to make here.
  • I wonder what Stage one of Khan will do for me. Possibly not a whole lot because I so recently did a full year on DR. I actually considered skipping it, but the work of mental repair is never really done and perhaps there is something that could be hit harder to make Khan execute better. I want as much effect from this program as I can possibly get, so I am giving it a full run.

  • Another way of stating the goal of this program is to help me get to be the guy I felt myself becoming when I was nineteen.
    I’ve been pretty down on myself most of my life, but I had a brief bout of optimism in my last couple of years of high school. At that point I had a good clear vision of who I wanted to be and could actually feel myself getting there.

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  • I ran a loop of TK (True Khan) and Spartan last night. I woke up feeling pretty good and energized this morning. I noticed that there is a bit of an argument going on in my head between my lifetime limiting beliefs and the beliefs that I’d like to have ingrained.
    What I noticed centered around my ability to get women. My old belief was that I was just not the kind of guy who they would just have a fling or an FWB situation with. I’m too baby faced, not masculine enough, too fat, don’t act the right way, ect. That is showing itself.
    There is also a side saying I’m a sex magnet and girls chase me all the time.
    They both brought up evidence from my past.
    There was really no bad feelings or distress associated with this, I was just kind of witnessing a debate in my head which I’m sure is going on normally without me being aware of it.
    I’m sure that there is a similar conversation going on about all of my other goals as well.

  • That was just a test run. I will be washing out until Sunday or Monday which will be my official start date for the program.

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  • Something has changed in my head. I’m seeing some things as possible that I really didn’t before. It’s hard to describe, but I’m seeing things I fantasized about before as something that I can make happen if I go out and just go for them.
    This relates to something I became aware of during my DR run. I called it “the Negator” it was this little voice in my head that said “that’s just a fantasy” when I’d daydream about something happening that was outside of what my self concept would allow. This largely killed my ability to use any kind of conscious manifestation. (Note that it also stopped me from manifesting anything really negative)
    I had largely gotten rid of it on DR, but that just seemed to leave it absent. There was really no concept that I CAN have or do whatever, and there was no real impetus to action on any of these things. It just kind of erased the bad.
    This is a much more actively positive thing. I’m really getting the sense that if I go out and do X, then before too long, I’ll get Y result that I want in the real world. Especially if I study up on how to do it. And I’m actually feeling some excitement and enthusiasm about it.
    At the moment it’s focused on my sex life, but I do have that sense that I can put in the effort and get the positive results in every aspect of my life.

  • I “Coincidentally” found a video on my YouTube feed that directly related to another thing that I realized during my DR run. That is how the story I tell myself effects my life.
    When I was on DR this was primarily about untangling the negative stories that I had been accepting as truth since I was a kid. For instance, I realized that I had been telling myself that my parents treated me like a piece of crap because I was in point of fact a piece of crap. It is a lot healthier for me (not to mention much more true) to tell myself that they did that because they were massively fucked up people long before I was born, and weren’t even capable of treating me as a child should be treated. It had nothing to do with me.
    That has been a stone cold fact in my head ever since.
    What that video, and I’m sure TK got me thinking is once again much more actively positive. If I change the story in my head from for instance, “I don’t talk to people in public” to “I start interesting conversations with people everywhere I go”. I will naturally do just that, and life will become more interesting and I will in the course of things meet people I need to meet in order to achieve my goals.
    I made a list of twenty statements that I’d like to get myself to believe and incorporate into the story I tell myself daily. Most were once again about my sex life, but that is where my head is at right now so I’ll use that to show myself that I can improve any part of my life.

  • The really new thing is that these realizations are serving as a goad to real action. I know that if I start going out of my way to talk to as many women as I can, I’ll be able to steer some of the interactions in such a way that the doors to the adventures I have always wanted to have will open.

  • This is from just one loop. I can’t wait to get rolling with this sucker for real on Monday.

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This is fantastic. I’m getting the same sort of thing from Khan! Instead of thoughts like “That cute chick at the gas pump wouldn’t go for a guy like me who’s clocking in at almost 30%BF” it’s becoming more like what you describe of knowing taking X action will lead to Y result.

And I feel more and more like I truly could do it if I wanted to go do it.

I’m excited for your shift after just a single loop. I of course do recognize that The Year of the Dragon Emperor did a lot of the work to help you get to this stage.

:beers: cheers!

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I don’t mean that if I go talk to that particular girl (X) she will jump into my bed (Y). But that if I start doing that on a regular basis I will find more than one who will and I will get better at it with practice and as this run progresses.

Why don’t you. If for no other reason than to see if you can. After all, you can bail out of the interaction if it looks like it could go further than you wanted it to.

I concur with that. I think that this is going to be a much smoother and more effective run because DR cleared out most of the crap that would have gotten in the way. Stage one is just doing mop up operations.
In all seriousness, I’d suggest that you do the same thing I’m doing and pick a four stager and a one stager (either as a custom or a stack) that hit on all the stuff that you want to hit, and do it by the book for at least a year.

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One of the beliefs I wrote down to integrate is this “If a woman chooses not to have sex with me, she wanted to, but some factor in her mind or life wouldn’t let her. It had nothing to do with me”.
That seems a healthy one.

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While this may be a reality, I think Twilight Zone experiences exist. When the unexpectedly good happens, just accept it.

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I’m not sure what you’re referring to here.

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     **8/1/22 STAGE 1 CYCLE 1 WEEK 1**
  • It has begun. I am looking forward to some serious results with this one. I think that the major goal in the first stage is going to be to get past my hesitancy to start certain things.
    Initiating contact with a woman is the most glaring example, but I have a lot of other things that I have to kind of push myself to do. Mostly it involves social things, and I think that after DR, it’s more that I’m in the habit of feeling hesitant about those things than there is any real fear behind it.
    I’ve been kind of a wall flower most of my life, and I am just not used to being as social as I’d like to be.
    The only way to get past that is to just get used to it and start conversations with everyone I can.

  • I got some of the floaty new sub feel during my first loop. I’m feeling pretty solid now that it’s over though.

  • I’m running Spartan as my side sub and still doing a loop a week of AC.

  • My sex drive which had been in kind of a lull for a week or so kicked in hard during my loop.

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  • A few hours after the loop I had about an hour or so of really harsh, intense recon in the form of anger.
    Specifically I was focused on resenting the wife for pushing me into parenthood. Maybe it is more at myself for allowing that to happen, but that’s not how I was thinking at the time. This may sound horrible to some of you, but frankly I don’t care.
    When we began our relationship, I made no bones about the fact that I really didn’t want children. She made no bones about the fact that she did.
    She worked me for about fourteen years and I finally gave in. (To her credit, she did not baby trap me) But I did not want to. Now there is no way out of it. Not if I’m any kind of man. I resent the loss of freedom. I resent the fuck out of losing a battle of wills, I always hate that.
    I’ll leave it at that. I’ve known that resentment was there, but I think that Khan 1 just dug it out in a very raw way so I HAVE TO deal with it head on.
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Those battles of wills really do suck ass.
No judgment from me, brother.

I’ve got some resentment surrounding my vasectomy. Any of the sex subs seem to bring it out.
Khan1 included. I’ve addressed it with her so it isn’t as prevalent anymore.

Not to compare mine to yours. Definitely sounds like you’ve got your work cut out for ya. I’m definitely here to help out any way I’m able.

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There’s a lot of judgment from ME at the moment. They weren’t kidding that Stage one is harsh.
Embrace the suck and keep pushing.

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You can do stage 1. Do you have something to buffer the intensity, such as Sanguine, LB, LBfH, or Elixir?

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I have Embrace The Suck. I’ve been through a number of dark nights of the soul and come out stronger, I can do it again.
I think that it’s bringing up things that I’ve been avoiding facing and dealing with in a way that I can’t ignore. Anything that blunts the impact is likely to blunt the effectiveness as well.
This is VERY different from DR, and I’m damn glad I did a year of DR first.

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  • The anger I was feeling has abated. I am now much more aware that that particular issue exists, and needs to be worked on in a calm and rational manner now.

  • After I said that I’ve been through dark nights of the soul and come out stronger, I realized how much I meant that and how important of a statement that was.
    It shows a rock solid foundation of confidence and faith in myself. I didn’t really realize that I had that now until I said that.
    It’s not new. It’s something I’ve built up and earned over the years of working on myself even if I couldn’t see that I was forming it at the time. I know that DR helped to strengthen it a lot, but I had been adding layers to it for many years before that.
    I don’t know when it really came into effect like this. I do know that I used to be tossed about by my internal mental storms, thinking that each was the end of the world because I couldn’t conceive of the negative feelings I was having in the moment ever abating or ending.
    I think that at some point on DR I realized that emotional states aren’t permanent and “this too shall pass”.
    And now I realize that not only will the Storm end, but it is making me a stronger person as well.
    That gives me the ability to lean into discomfort sometimes, like with this particular title. I’ll come out the other side closer to being the man I’ve always wanted to be.

  • Damn healing titles always make me wax philosophical.

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  • And it seems to be followed a similar pattern to DR. An issue gets dug up, I feel something about it, and then the reason pops into my head.
    Why does it piss me off that I allowed myself to be pushed into parenthood? A few reasons popped into my head.
    First, it makes me feel trapped, and I HATE that. Why again?
    Because with the responsibility of a kid plus a wife who has a significant disability is likely to prevent me from living the kind of life that I have always wanted and now feel I’m capable of having. I’d like to be able to just take off and ride my Harley all day when I feel like it and all the womanizing I want to do is going to be difficult to schedule. I don’t like the restrictions this puts on me.
    Is this selfish? Yes it is. Nonetheless it’s there.
    Second. I LOST a long term major battle of wills with my wife. I REALLY don’t like to lose. At anything. I still see human relations as win lose contests of dominance a lot of the time and measure my value as a person by my win lose ratio. I hold deep abiding grudges against anyone who successfully dominates me and fantasize about taking extremely disproportionate vengeance on them. Fucked up? Yes, but there it is.
    Third, I lost to a woman. I let her tell me what to do and she made it stick.
    Why does that bother me? I got into this in my DR journal, but the short version is that my mother hated and feared men. Especially strong ones. I’m not sure why really.
    After she tore up and discarded my father, there was only one male who she had power over. I was the lightning rod for all of her problems with the male half of the species.
    A big part of how this manifested is she had to have complete control over every aspect of my life. Where I went, how much of what I ate, what I wore , how much money I could have, everything. This is a normal perception for a child, but she took it quite a few steps beyond normal and it wasn’t the usual “for your own good” type of thing.
    She was exercising power to prove to herself that she could. She had to completely and totally win every disagreement no matter how big or small to the point where all resistance was crushed.
    She won by any means at her disposal screaming and swearing, lying to get others (usually my father) to support her, public humiliation. She liked physical violence until I got big enough that she was scared to. Still, she had the power so she always won.
    The end result was for my formative years, I was completely and totally dominated by the major female figure in my life. I know that a lot of guys get used to this and become submissive. Not me. I went the other way. I got angry and resentful. Unfortunately as that got buried in my subconscious, it spread out to include any female who tried to dominate me or tell me what to do. It’s had effects on my relationships.
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