Ecstasy of Gold Journal: Kether to Malkuth

Malkuth · June 4, 2020, 3:28am

From maintaining breathing and heart beat to basic protein synthesis on up, we’re actually not very aware of most of the important things we’re doing all day.

In a way, the conscious mind is kind of like a maintenance program that functions to give more attention to areas where the subconscious automatic programs are bumping into little problems. It’s a bit similar to if you had a self-cleaning carpet, but if there were very serious stains, a little Roomba would come out of the wall to give the stain more focused attention.

That little Roomba is the conscious mind—the self, the ‘me’—and, as far as it’s concerned, it is the master of the house. That’s us. Apparently it’s something of a hilarious joke among those who have seen all the way through it. buddhas and sages. The tail thinks that it’s wagging the dog. In this case, the tail is ‘me’, and the dog is the Cosmos and Nature.

Bottom-line: you’re actually doing many, many things all the time, but the parts of ‘you’ that are doing most of them are outside of what you identify as your ‘self’ (i.e., subconscious). This is why changes, results, the reactions of others to you, etc., can seem to just inexplicably and miraculously ‘come out of nowhere’.

Malkuth · June 4, 2020, 7:40am

Feet on the ground.

Malkuth · June 7, 2020, 7:58am

It is so much easier to think about how to organize my current and future subliminal stacks than it is to clarify and carry out the most effective daily actions.

no

My subliminal stack is good. Great, even.

Action is what needs attention.

Malkuth · June 7, 2020, 10:49am

Today is Sunday. My designated rest day from subliminals. No Terminus meditation in the morning. No stack run during the day. An excellent chance to see what you’re actually doing.

Malkuth · June 11, 2020, 4:01pm

Fear and Hopelessness.

These mind-states are a fucking con.

They really are.

But the con works so well

When an emotion is very skillful in manipulating you, you think from it, rather than thinking about it. This is because you are unable to distinguish it from overall reality. So you just include it as an unconscious part of your reasoning and perceptions.

The weirdest thing. Lately, when my mind is going to a darker place, my thoughts start to move to the movies of Ari Aster, Hereditary and Midsommar.

I haven’t even watched Hereditary. I only watched a few critical breakdowns of it and a number of clips. That was enough for me to sense the atmosphere and the devastating menace of it. Midsommar on the other hand, I did watch.

This morning’s meditation was a Mind’s Eye Terminus². Once again, Hereditary kept coming to my thoughts.

I’ve already shared elsewhere my sense about this. The fear originates from within, but it disguises itself as being about something external. The same is true with hopelessness. They are emotional cons. I’m sure they have their evolutionary value. Probably just protection from risk-taking.

Hopelessness. If you watch what your mind does in the midst of hopelessness, the con can sometimes become apparent. It will make these vague lists of everything that has failed in the past, and it will present this as proof that things will not work in the future.

But if you look closer at the items on the list of ‘Failures of the Past’ you’ll always find that a lot of them do not hold up. Either they weren’t complete failures, they weren’t failures at all, or they weren’t genuine attempts. The thing is that the hopelessness by itself is so unpleasantly depressing that no one would want to walk up to look at it closely and see how much of it is actually an illusion.

Fear is not exactly the same but it’s similar. Fear is largely based on inaction. It tells you that you’re too powerless to do anything, then it ‘proves’ this by convincing you not to try anything. That is its so-called proof.

The truth is that fear comes from within. It’s not about the overwhelming power of what is outside of you. It’s about an impulse that arises from within you.

The con of both of these immobilizing states is that they arise from within, but they compel you to focus on what is without. They are largely internal, but they compel you to obsess over what is external. As a result, their true nature remains hidden.

Despite all of this, hopelessness and fear are not evil. They’re not even your enemies. They’re just ‘dark guards’ or ‘difficult friends’.

Malkuth · June 13, 2020, 6:39am

A few days ago the following just kind of downloaded fully-formed to me.

It’s related to my Ecstasy of Gold journey so I’m putting it here. It’s also quite personal, so it may not be relatable to everyone who reads it. It’s part of my journey. I’m posting it here in case it might be useful to anyone else.

There is an external aspect of wealth that is money and possessions.

But there is also an internal aspect of it that is love and joy and enjoyment. In and of and around value. The value of experiences.

For someone like me, the connection to wealth will come from making that connection between the internal and external aspects, and then focusing my cultivation and efforts more so on the internal aspect.

I’m seeing this more now.

A spirituality of wealth is being opened up to me. Remember to monetize. That’s a critical link. But cleave, also, to the Soul of wealth which is the love you feel in bringing something of value into the world.

The external aspect is the follow-through––the conscientious follow-through–––to that joyous expression of love.

Malkuth · June 15, 2020, 4:32pm

A few more synchronicities:

First synchronicity: I came here to write this post and when I opened my journal I saw this:

Pretty cool.

I kind of didn’t want to post here anymore so I could just keep that there. hahaha. but all things must change.

Second synchronicity: I got the chance this evening to go through and select all of the modules as a continuation of my current core goal. First, I selected some Wealth modules and then some Results Enhancement modules and then some Major Program cores.

When I was done I went to check the wishlist to count and I saw that they added up to exactly 20 modules. That was cool.

Third synchronicity: Someone contacted me last week to work on an external project (as in, external to my job). I’ll go to spend two half-days, tomorrow and the next day, doing that. Just now, I realized that the amount I’ll be earning is just about the same as the cost of the subliminal I created in my wishlist.

wow

I think I’m going to order it.

Malkuth · June 15, 2020, 4:40pm

So far, the subliminal program from which I’ve felt the clearest response has been Stark Q Terminus. I’ve felt more obvious and clear response than from the Q builds or from Mind’s Eye Terminus².

As such, I’m planning to try out my Q Store stack as a Terminus build.

That stack is based on the same life goal and life priority as my current core stack. I’ve been listening to Ecstasy of Gold Stage 4 since March 2020. 3 months. Emperor Q I’ve been listening to since December 2019. Around 6 months. I’ll still play Emperor Q, but I have not included as a core module in my Q Store stack.

I’m building my Q Store stack around Ecstasy of Gold Q Stage 4 and Stark Q. In an interesting twist, I’ve also included one more Major Program core module, Power Can Corrupt. Somehow that seems a bit lighter/less dense in my mind.

Everything else in my Q Store stack are supporting modules.

This becomes a super-charged extension of my Ecstasy of Gold journey. And it seems to be showing up at a fortuitous moment. After 3 months with Ecstasy of Gold Stage 4.

So this feels right.

I’ll try to type out my intended set of modules in another post.

fluid · June 16, 2020, 7:19pm

Hey @Malkuth

Based on your experience running both Emperor and Stark, what are the major real-life differences between both ?

Cheers

Malkuth · June 16, 2020, 10:26pm

Interestingly, I’m actually thinking about this same question. I don’t have time to respond right now, but I’ll put this reply first as a placeholder to remind me to do so later. (I don’t have a profound response planned. I just literally don’t have time right now.)

Malkuth · June 17, 2020, 6:47am

So, last week I was contacted to run an impromptu training exercise in my professional area. I agreed to do it and carried it out yesterday and today. That is a real blessing, and I’d imagine that my subliminals contributed to manifesting the opportunity and enabling me to carry it out well.

At the same time, I am relieved now that it’s over. Very kind people, I was working with. But even so, I was (as usual), somewhat out of my comfort zone. The subject was fine. Overall, the interactions were okay. But that part, the interactive portion, stretches me. My work involves a significant amount of interaction and I tend to enjoy it. It’s just that enjoying it and being stretched are by no means mutually exclusive.

At any rate, I finally have time to sit down, finalize my first custom Q subliminal, and purchase it.

I’ve now got about 7 visions for custom subliminals.

Wealth
Meditation and Magick
Physical Health and Fitness
Intellectual and Creative Life
Sexual Life and Attraction
Relationships and Leaderships/Self-determination
Emotional and Psychological Health and Wellbeing

I’d like to construct my dream build-combinations for all seven of those.

It’s as much of a mental/intuitive exercise as anything else, since, by the time I finish the first two, the store and the modules available may look significantly different.

When I first started Ecstasy of Gold in September 2019, my plan was to stay with that program for a year, and then in September 2020 to begin Alchemist and Quantum Limitless.

Now, within that year, there have been significant upgrades to the existing programs, Stark was introduced, Mind’s Eye was introduced, and now in the past week we have the incredible explosion of goodness that is the Q Store.

So, it’s important to integrate and adjust. But I still like doing the exercise of creating my current ideal versions because it helps me to clarify and focus my goals.

Years ago, before I ever encountered any of this stuff, I created a framework of my valued life areas. I called it the 12-Part View. Originally, I think it was the 9-part view and then it kept evolving.

The last time I updated it, it was like this:

Physical Health and Fitness
Emotional Health and Psychological Wellbeing
Social Life and Social Wellbeing
Parenting Life
Marital Relationship
Family Relationships
Financial Life
Vocational Life
Meditation Practice
Philanthropic Life
Intellectual/Creative Life
Bodhisattva Path

It was like a map of all of the areas that mattered to me. During any given period of time, the idea was, I’d probably only have time to work on 2 or 3 of them, but the map would help me to remember and periodically check in on all of them.

It’s interesting that that framework is actually helping me a little as I think of planning the customs. It doesn’t map out exactly, but there’s definite overlap.

pacman · June 17, 2020, 7:01am

Would love to see this reply

Malkuth · June 17, 2020, 7:25am

Okay. I want to think about this now since I’m about buy my first custom subliminal.

The build that I’ve proposed only has Stark Q. It does not have Emperor. My intuition chose Stark, but I want to follow that up with a bit of contemplation.

First of all, I have used Emperor for 6.5 months. When I started out it was Emperor v.4 and more recently it upgraded (happily) to Emperor Q. I’ve been using Emperor Q since it was released with the other Q programs (I guess 4 to 6 weeks ago?).

In contrast, I started using Stark Q Terminus on May 2, 2020. So, it’s been 6 weeks.

Summarizing:
Emperor (and Emperor Q): 26 weeks
Stark Q Terminus: 6 weeks.

This comes down to intuition. I’m not one of those people who experiences (and describes) subliminals like different ice cream flavors, with extremely clear qualities and effects. It’s weird. I do get psychic things happening (especially with people I love), I experience frequent synchronicities (to the point, where I just treat them as a natural part of life), intuition is an important part of my life; but at the same time, the wall between my conscious and subconscious experience still seems kind of opaque.

You could put it this way. If my mind is a restaurant, then the subconscious sends me out lots of tasty dishes, but it’s still a closed-kitchen. I don’t really get to watch it cooking in real time.

So, it’s hard for me to tease out exactly what Emperor contributed and what Stark contributed. I’m sure that Stark was significantly aided by the months of Emperor that came before.

Finally, I’ve only ever used Stark Q Terminus. I never used the Stark Q standard build.

So having said all of that. When I started using Stark Q Terminus, I got a fairly immediate influx of energy. It seemed to affect the flow of my ideas, and how fluently those ideas were expressed in speech. I was more willing to just say my ideas instead of sitting on them as I often do.

Usually, I’m quietly impatient with slow, ponderous thinking and decision-making. Now, I was more likely to just provide the point that people were taking a long time to reach. I had a lot of zoom staff meetings and, while I wasn’t rude, I was more likely to speak up.

I think this may come back to the Limitless Factor hypothesized by @Simon. By nature, my power and energy (including sexual energy and social energy) seem to be more naturally expressed through intellectual channels. (The higher chakras if you’re into chakras). Maybe Emperor works to strengthen and use instinctual, visceral channels more. (The grounded, ‘lower’ chakras).

Whatever the explanation, whether it’s the increased intellectual focus or whether it’s the Terminus build, I found a quick and powerful resonance with Stark Q Terminus. At first, I used it once or twice a day with the rest of my stack, with one of those plays being a daily meditation session.

Now, I use Stark Q Terminus every other day during meditation and that’s it. I didn’t experience obvious overwhelm or reconciliation.

Update

I have mentioned elsewhere that last month I felt pulled to dark, horror themes in the (beautiful) movies of Ari Aster. I originally thought that was after I’d started Mind’s Eye Q Terminus², but I just checked my browser history and I see that it began 7 days after I’d started using Stark Q Terminus (2 weeks before I began Mind’s Eye). So, there you have it. A unique form of reconciliation.

This is long. And I’ve said nothing about the effects of Emperor on me.

When it came to Emperor, my clearest memories are of reconciliation periods. I’d get these very giddy reconciliations with Emperor. Like when you’ve got heightened adrenaline, and you feel a bit giddy and punch-drunk, like you don’t give a f**k.

I worked on a very major project during the first months of Emperor. It was an onerous project. There was a bunch of angst and it sometimes felt like pulling teeth. But I did get it done. When it was done, I felt numb and didn’t really look at the thing again for a while. So, it wasn’t some kind of triumph. But. I. Got. It. Done.

That must have had something to do with Emperor, I think.

And that’s all I’ve got to say on that for the time being.

Malkuth · June 17, 2020, 7:26am

It’s a long-ass unfocused reply. I threw out any standards of rigour or parsimony.

haha.

pacman · June 17, 2020, 7:42am

I’m used ascension for like 2 weeks and you it’s strong…and really makes u stand up…honestly it is a very strong sub…I can only imagine emperor!
Anyway I’m back on regeneration I want to remove all blocks first and strengthen my foundation before I move on…
Btw some progress of ascension is not lost…it didn’t fade away.

Malkuth · June 17, 2020, 11:46am

Done.

I got my custom subliminal. VERY MUCH looking forward to working with it.

Thank you @SaintSovereign
Thank you @Fire

fluid · June 17, 2020, 1:15pm

Hey @Malkuth ,

Thanks for sharing your very detailed (and candour) experience.

So, overall , between Emp and Stark, I detect a slight biasness towards StarkQ Terminus , for you ?

It also sounds like once-a-day / every other day of StarkQ is sufficient , and anything else might cause issues , for you ?

Malkuth · June 17, 2020, 2:09pm

Thank you back for reading my reflections.

At present, I might agree with you (though probably no one is eager to embrace the word ‘bias’ haha). But yes, I do have some level of preference due to the very observable jump in response that I noticed after introducing Stark Q Terminus.

Hmm…as to the spacing and timing of Stark Q Terminus, I suspect I could actually use it quite a bit more than once every other day, but I just did not see any need to do so since it was not part of my core prioritized stack.

That is part of what is getting revised and updated as I transition to a custom subliminal. Stark Q is now part of my core subliminal. There’s so much guessing and intuition involved, but I decided to try the Terminus build.

I’m planning to continue playing Emperor Q. But, again, I didn’t include it in my central custom subliminal. So, it’s now moving into a more supporting role. (Actually, it’s basically switching places with Stark in the hierarchy.).

But to respond to your specific question, I’ve never experienced any truly disruptive reconciliation with Stark Q Terminus even when I played it twice a day. I just figured, why not be gradual? Seemed to be working fine.

Are you keeping a journal? I don’t remember. I’ll try to find it.

fluid · June 17, 2020, 2:26pm

No journals here ; I tend to lurk in the shadows

Not used StartQ yet. Just Emperor for the last year, combined with Alchemist.

If you’re a LHP/RHP practitioner you should have noticed some amazing synchronicities and manifestations at this point ! (I’m not talking about 1111 and 2222 ad other repeating “Angel” Numbers ) , especially at the Malkuth “layer”

Malkuth · June 18, 2020, 7:33am

Got this idea after responding @dorfmeister’s interesting Healing subliminal thread.

Quoting it here because I think it has potential.