Do you talk about your Subs to other persons?

Questions and Comments
#2

I’ve shared I’ve used subs when I feel it’d help someone who may have similar issues. And sometimes I’ve shared when I felt really proud of the results, like “you’re not going to believe this, but…”

But from a poor history of trying to change people for my benefit, I don’t infringe, suggest, or demand that they do what I do. I’ve found when I or others are given a choice to make changes, that is way more powerful than me directing their life. I hate being commanded or manipulated into something, even when it’s good for me. And I don’t like treating others like this as well. I’ve even pulled away from some good activities in my life since my old ways were mostly about trying to persuade people. I stopped it since it made me very unhappy.

Good questions. Thanks for asking.

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#3

Nope. I don’t talk about my subs to anyone. It’s my personal life therefore it’s my personal business. It’s other people’s responsibility to find the tools they need for their own growth.

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#4

I told several people in a good faith. Noone took a leap.

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#5

Okay I understand that point. But what if this is a very close person like a good friend or your partner - and he or she is dealing with the same bad issues (e.g. poor health) over and over again, and he/she does not even consider using Subs to get better?
And you are living in a close relationship, so it would be “my” benefit too if he/she stopped complaining all the time?

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#6

weird position. what makes us human is helping each other.

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#7

Well, that’s what I am talking about.
“Help” defined as: “Try this, this is really great!”
“No, I don’t want to!”
“Why not?”
“I just don’t want to. Period.”
“Not even try it out?”
“NO!!!”

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#8

My wife and our elder child are using Subclub files. Other closed friends and family members I told them but they never go beyond one loop. After that they find so many excuses not to continue. So I decided to keep quiet after that

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#9

Maybe that is the wisest response.

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#10

Really? Wait until people start calling you a weirdo who believes in woo woo stuff. The Internet is here for everyone. If anyone is meant to use subs, they’ll find them in their own. Like I did.
I just keep my stuff to myself and I let other people use the tools they want.

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#11

how do you know that exactly this person who has issues you have a tool to solve would say “no”? we don’t know, so why don’t we try? and as I understood, ksub told not exactly about subs, but generally about any tools for other’s personal growth.
Personally, I think it’s a fear to be misunderstood rather than unwillingness to help.

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#12

so, basically, this is a fear to be misunderstood, not reluctance to help.

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#13

You know it when the answer is “No” - after you offered to buy a Subliminal for them in order to help them

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#14

Neither. It’s minding my own business and letting other people figuring out their own lives at their own pace. It’s also not having time for useless conversations like the one below :point_down::point_down:

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#15

I hear your dilemna. I’ll hang on one point since even when the “unhealthy” one in my life did it, it stuck in my brain.

Me and my wife met under stressful circumstances, and we were both very accommodating to one another. It’s called codependency in most circles. We lived like that for years until she (the one I thought was unhealthy–don’t laugh) started drawing boundaries. I thought she was turning cold, and she was. She needed to heal herself. She did some, and chose to exit the marriage in time.

I’ve learned that no person can fix another. She couldn’t, and damn, she tried. And I was doing the exact same thing. I’ve had a focus since then on healing myself…ummm…since noone else was around maybe? My vision is changing slowly. I’m not seeing everyone else as broken. I just wasn’t owning my brokenness and was projecting my own onto others.

My advice would be to focus on YOU. Care for her as best she can, but let her make her own choices. Take the focus off her, and you’ll both get stronger. It will create tension. But be honest with her and yourself so she’ll see your real intentions. Love her. She’ll feel it and respond beautifully. Women are just built like that.

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#16

In my case, it is a man who is built like that, :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: but… you have described my situation pretty much to the point.
Thank you!
Maybe I should add a Sub that creates THE perfect relationship. I am sure there are plenty around here.

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#17

I was in this marriage restoration group during our separation, and I heard the leader address this numerous times. He said women don’t hear “I care about you so I’m offering help”. What they translate it as is “this is bothering ME, so I’m seeking to help me by offering you this. Aren’t I such a loving person?” He called out guys frequently (myself included) since as guys we’re very goal-oriented and often un-relational. Which makes us different from women altogether.

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#18

Oops. Foot in mouth. :wink:

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#19

No problem, mate - how should YOU know? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
And as I said before - the situation seems to be like yours. Except for that we are not even close to separate. But you made a good point in this:

I guess this goes for ALL couples - straight or LGBT or whatever.

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#20

Similar discussion from last year.

Click the topic name to visit the thread.

:+1:t2:

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#21

People have to want to help themselves. They trust drugs more than they do subs.

This is an interest that I share with my partner and that’s it for now.

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