What do you consider to be your ‘avenues of manifestation’ for RM? (Unless that’s personal.)
For CWON, your pathways are numerous and obvious.
What about for RM? Are you involved in hobbies or creative projects? Are you dipping into, working with, or synthesizing a variety of intellectual, cultural, or expressive domains?
What do you think of RM in general?
Mostly my work, we’re undergoing an aggressive firm-wide transformation with our technology, so there’s a significant creative element. Also a lot of my hobbies involve making or modifying things, so there’s a creative element there too. Thing is, it feels like I’m shifting in a different direction, and I’m not certain I want to go there. Yet.
I originally considered RM because of Saint’s suggestion:
So this could help with my work. But I’ve also mentioned I don’t find my career fulfilling anymore. Maybe this is where the dissonance comes from. My other creative pursuits aren’t really suitable for generating wealth - at least this is what I’ve convinced myself, so maybe there’s some conflict from that too.
Hopefully the washout will bring some clarity.
I need this sub, for sure.
Because THIS is the key. No judgment. Not even of situation. Go with life and enjoy the ride.
Is that how you can sum up this sub?
Lovely.
Hmm, I think it’s more about connection, and lack of judgement is a consequence of that. Judgement is just a way of separating ourselves from what we’ve decided we don’t like, it lets us delude ourselves that we’re somehow different. Once that connection is there you can’t really do that anymore.
Unfortunately when I stacked RM I lost that feeling of connection, even to the nature that surrounds me. It’s given me more of an activist mindset, which obviously requires judgement. 
It surprises me sometimes how complex these sub interactions can be.
For the next cycle I might try stacking CWON with Sage immortal instead.
Thanks for sharing parts of your journey.
Posted this in Saint’s journal:
Friday and today I just ran 1 loop of CWON, no RM. The difference was immediately noticeable, I’m more open and accepting that when stacking with RM.
That completes this cycle. Now 5 days washout, and from Saturday I’ll most likely run CWON + Sage Immortal.
CWON + Inner Circle could also be an interesting combination for me.
I’m actually liking this idea the more I think about it. I generally dislike and avoid most people these days, but finding nature-oriented people that I can connect with on occasion would be nice. Not the superficial outdoorsy weekend hike types, but more the off-grid/homesteading types that live and breathe this lifestyle.
There are a lot of militant, right-wing people in that space though, and I have no interest in connecting with them. Or anyone who is politically or religiously motivated - I despise both, irrespective of their beliefs. Sometimes I wonder why I moved to this country, given most of the population define themselves by both of those. 
I normally guard my privacy, but CWON solo is making me more open. I’m feeling that beautiful sense of connection to my environment again, and it’s almost making me want to weep. So here’s a pic of what I see when I look out my living room window, featuring my resident swan.
When I look around me I feel blessed. I can’t describe the level of gratitude I’m feeling right now.
And yet, when it comes to people all I can think is - fuck them. Fuck them all. I feel nothing but disgust for humanity, with all the egos and greed and ideology and superficial bullshit. We are such a contemptable species.
I thought about not posting that. I thought about it for a while. I respect the desire for SC to keep this forum positive. But in the end I decided that that I should just be honest about how I’m feeling right now.
So there it is.
For anyone interested this is what it’s like behind the house. This is about 50ft from the house, I keep it clear roughly 30ft around the house itself, although there are trees as close as 10ft to the house. A sensible person would clear the trees away from the house though, they’re a definite hazard due to falling trees and tree limbs (as you can see), but I prefer it this way.
Washout starts today.
I usually get heavy recon during washouts. It started yesterday, and continues today. It should start reducing by tonight or tomorrow.
New cycle starts on Saturday. I’m leaning towards CWON + IC, purely out of curiosity to see what manifests from that.
New cycle started today.
I decided to give Inner Circle a shot, and see what kind of inner circle a CWON + IC stack manifests. Just for the hell of it I only did 5 mins of each today.
It’s a strange thing to me. I can build friendships easily when I want to. I can be very charming when I want to. I’ve had fiercely loyal circles of friends in the past, but lost them when I moved countries. I still keep in touch, but it isn’t the same without the physical contact. I also had a close circle of friends when I lived in New York city, but I don’t see them very often now that I moved upstate. I genuinely enjoyed and really miss that contact, especially those lazy evenings at some river-side bar that we used to have.
But I’ve also changed. I value my solitude a lot more now. I feel content with the company of my cats and my wildlife. I prefer the trees to the concrete and crowds of people. I treasure the quiet.
So any new circle of friends would need to be consistent with that. They would need to be local. They would need to value nature over nightlife. Individuality over herd mentality. Resourcefulness over dependence. Peace over profit.
I’ve mostly kept to myself since I moved out here 5 years ago, by necessity really since I was exploring a more primal and masculine version of myself and didn’t feel I could do that with all the superficial garbage in our modern society.
But there’s a feeling that needs to change. This feeling isn’t new, but the time didn’t feel right before. It does now.
Did the recon lessen on schedule? If so, cool.
I have a longer washout planned for next month. I’ve been going straight for a pretty long time now and am somewhat curious about how that will go. Hoping for nice bloom effects.
Sounds extremely workable.
You have a clean energy to you.
Like attracts like.
It did reduce, but didn’t go away entirely. I’m still feeling a vague inner disturbance. Maybe it’s not recon, I don’t know. Either way, I’ll just keep moving forward.
It’ll be interesting to see the bloom you get after completing DR.
At this point, do you feel it’s irrevocably changed you, or are the effects mostly acute and short-term?
Appreciate the question.
Hard to say.
I’m guessing you can relate. I’ve already been on a path. Sometimes things evolve slowly and then there are periods of time where it seems more intense. It takes a while for the dust to settle and to get more of a feel for how I may have changed. Also, the subjective experience of myself is limited, and may exclude significant objective features that are more clearly revealed by seeing how others respond to me or by getting feedback from others.
So I usually just put my seatbelt on and try to focus more on living life.
At this precise moment, I’m mostly feeling somewhat disoriented and a bit unfocused. But who knows? Two nights ago, I was on the last night of a three-day fast, and feeling kind of weak. Got down and did some push-ups and found that I completed my personal best in the last 5 years. Back when I was really trying to reach 100 push-ups, I think the highest I got to were 72 or 76 or something. But the other night when I was ‘feeling weak’, I did 66. And I haven’t been training regularly.
My point is that my subjective sensations don’t tell me how I’m actually changing. So I take them with a grain of salt.
I see the role of the subliminals as a kind of Specialist-Collaborator. it has great ideas which it shares with my mind. My mind listens to the ideas, discusses and alters them until they fit with my Soul, and then adds them to queue for building and manifestation. Then it’s my bodymind that builds it all.
Anyway. Thoughts.
