Beowulf's Journal - Golden Lover (2023)

Beowulf · February 8, 2023, 6:05am

Oh hey! Yeah, she’s more of a “Just Chatting” streamer. She hasn’t played any games since she was a teenager (though she used to play shooters back in the day). It’s also not on Twitch, it’s on one of those phone livestreaming services. She makes decent money streaming on there, since it’s more “gift”-focused - large donations by individuals. It makes up for the lack of viewers, a dozen or so active, well-off viewers are a reliable source of part-time income for her.

I think @Brandon is familiar with what I’m talking about.

Beowulf · February 8, 2023, 2:52pm

Introspection
I didn’t really think about it but I think it’s become quite clear to me that I’m actually a lot witter than I used to be due to True Sell. I’m much smoother socially, I’m wittier and make more clever jokes. I was thinking back to my social interactions primarily with my girl this cycle and noticed this.

Final Decision?
I’ve made the decision to instead go with Daredevil, True Sell and Golden Heart for my next cycle. I will delay Khan to next year. This stack makes the most sense for me at this stage of my life. I feel more certain that this is perfect for me. It’s also a lot easier to take action on, which I will demonstrate when I start running it. It’s the perfect social stack, with a powerful core centered around Golden Heart. I just think I had weird recon with True Sell, which is why I was thinking of changing it. Pairing it with Daredevil would give me an even better coverage of social skill improvement.

I usually plan my stack years in advance. My previous plans have changed but the subs I planned to use just shifted around in terms of priority. Speaking of which, I used to be a master planner but terrible at taking action. Adding Ascension has now made me a master planner and action-taker.

Helped Co-Worker
Helped a co-worker with advertising. I think I did an okay job but I could definitely improve my teaching skills.

Running: Day 19 (W3/D3)
Went for my first actual run in the morning, though not super early. This time I feel like I may have pushed myself ever so slightly too much. I should stick to 3 - 4 running days per week. I’m getting near to “Week 4”, despite it being only Day 19.

A’s Journal
From what I’ve seen, she’s having recon today and yesterday. Seems to be in a not great mood and not so confident she can do well at this streaming thing. Gave her encouragement, seems to be better now.

KingEsh · February 8, 2023, 3:01pm

Oh I see I am mostly familiar with Twitch and YouTube.

Beowulf · February 9, 2023, 3:55pm

Looking Into Intelligence
I recently joined a Discord server on improving intelligence. A lot of the info here is rather promising. No plans to actually utilize any of the info there for now but it’s good to keep it in my back pocket once I internalize my major, necessary habits.

Reading: Day 0
Technically, I started reading yesterday night but I prefer to properly start it tomorrow. I’ve been reading The Power of Habits and Atomic Habits and I’ve been getting a lot of really useful info in there. I plan to make another thread where I will make reviews on subjects I’m interested in.

Running: Day 20 (Rest)
Relaxation. Not much to note other than I really wanted tor run today but I told myself not to since I need this rest even if I don’t feel like it.

Late Night Updates
I’m currently wide awake in the middle of the night and it’s super late so I decided to do some updates here of what I’ve been thinking the whole night.

Respect
So I didn’t really note this down in my journal since I forgot about it but an incident happened yesterday where I was going out to eat some pizza (unhealthy!) and the workers there seemed more respectful. It’s not like a crazy amount of respect like calling me boss or whatever but it’s a noticeable enough amount where I was thinking something was different in the way they treated me. The man taking my order called me something in my language that indicated more respect than what I’m usually referred to. Now that I’m writing this, I’m reminded of another incident where a lady at the counter referred to me to this word that same night before I ate went to the pizza place . This seems like Ascension is in action, quite interesting.

A’s Journal
So she went to stream today and it’s what I will refer to as an “event stream”. People are more likely to gift today than on other days due to the special nature of it. So during the event, all the gifters (including me) used more gifts that have a luck component to it. Another thing I found interesting is that we’re all noticeably luckier than usual . Which means she gets more money than usual. Interesting results. This seems to be a Stark manifestation in regards to luck and a R.I.C.H manifestation in regards to money. I think it’s largely driven by Stark though.

Beowulf · February 10, 2023, 5:54pm

Still Avoiding Work
I’m not sure what’s going on here. There’s a weird resistance to me opening my work stuff recently. I suspect this is just fear. I just want to honestly note that down in this journal, since this is such a small thing that I could just fix immediately. Social media is a distraction from me confronting it too.

Angry
Was angry today at my girl for a mistake she made. In hindsight, I seem to have much better control of my anger than I use to. All is good now, just a minor issue but I felt glad that I set my boundaries and cut off my anger before it escalated further.

Running: Day 21 (W4/D1)
Oh wow. Today it actually felt like a challenge. I was sweating a lot, it pushed me just outside of my comfort zone and there’s a mild sense of me wanting to end the run early. I pushed through though and I’m now back feeling great! Definitely taking a rest tomorrow, probably?

Speaking of which, today is the day in which I consider this habit to be completely internalized. So next up I’m going to work on Stretching. Maybe I’ll go 14 days for this one, this doesn’t seem that complicated.

Reading: Day 1 (Choose Yourself! - 30 minutes)
Honestly I didn’t actually read any books today since I procrastinated on it until I wrote this journal entry . So in a hurry, I found a nice book I liked online and read it so I can start my streak.

The book is Choose Yourself!, published in 2013 with a foreward by a Twitter CEO (not the one you’re thinking about!). Interesting to see the predictions made about technology replacing labour being right.

It’s interesting that the books I’m being drawn to right now are related to goal-setting, making small changes and finding purpose. Will write down a list of books that I’ll read.

Beowulf · February 11, 2023, 4:26pm

Overcame Work Avoidance (a little)
I actually managed to message and set-up an appointment that shouldn’t have taken this long. Nice to see.

Reading: Day 2 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Due to my discussion with my @ksub , I will be cutting back on the number of books I’m reading. So for now I’m reading Atomic Habits. I will need to set a proper time for reading. Maybe half an hour before bed, before I write my public journal here?

Stretching: Day 0 (Planning)
After some research, it seems I’ll go with yoga. Specifically watching Youtube videos from Yoga With Adriene. I’ll start tomorrow, hopefully in the morning before my run.

Running: Day 22 (Rest)
Not much to say. Just resting.

A’s Journal
I noticed that my partner said she looks so beautiful while looking at herself today. I find this to be interesting because I’ve known her for almost a year and she never really does this to my knowledge. Must be either Stark, Chosen or both. She’s also quite cheery today. Before going to bed, she actually told me she feels so happy today but doesn’t know why. Seems to confirm what I felt.

EDIT: Added two sentences to A’s Journal.

Beowulf · February 12, 2023, 10:44pm

Attraction
So I went to the mall today and I noticed quite a few women were showing mild interest in me as I walked by. This seems like a baseline improvement from when I started with Ascension. I’m walking more confidently, which may be why that is the case. Running may also play a role in this, in terms of improving my fitness which improves the energy I’m radiating out.

Planning
So tonight I was excited formulating my plans for the future. It seems that if I can keep this up, I can internalize a few dozen habits. I kept repeating, ‘I’m going to completely change my life by the end of the year’, ‘My life will be totally different’ and other positive thoughts. If I can consistently do 1 positive habit per day, I’m getting 1% better every day. If I can do 40 positive habits per day, I’m getting 40% better every day! No idea if that’s how it works but that’s how I see it

Will update my list of habits in the future but I’m really happy with what I’ve built now.

Running: Day 23 (W4/D2)
Today was quite a challenge. This definitely pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I had to just focus on the timer going down and allow my body to keep running even as my mind wanted to stop. My legs definitely need a break for recovery. So I’m going to take 2 days off for now, I need to start working on…

Stretching: Day 0 (Still Day 0)
So I didn’t start my stretching today, unfortunately. Since I’m running, it seems that if I don’t start stretching soon I might get myself an injury of some sort. Definitely need to get started. The 2-minute rule from Atomic Habits will come in handy here tomorrow.

Reading: Day 3 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Read 1 chapter of Atomic Habits. I jumped around the book since I’m bored so I chose the chapter that talked about the 2-minute rule. This seems really useful for my Stretching habit. I also skimmed it and saw something on habit stacking, which I could use to pair stretching with running or waking up from bed.

KingEsh · February 13, 2023, 8:21am

Sounds like an awesome book. I might get my hands on it.

Beowulf · February 13, 2023, 6:01pm

Physical Shifting
I noticed that while looking at myself in the mirror today, that my face looks a bit more masculine and handsome. My eyes have more of a passion in them and my body feels bigger - despite not doing any bodybuilding or calisthenics. The way I walk too is slightly different, it feels more confident and strong . I would say Running has definitely contributed at least a little bit to this. This seems like both a psychological and physical change.

Is this happening due to a bloom in results or is it just recon being faded enough that I have more clarity on what’s changed? Seems to be to be a result of mostly the former .

Sexual Results Recap
I won’t go into specifics because I think anything sexual in a relationship is personal (personally find it unusual people in the West are so open about it ). Anyways, my results with Ascension has increased the results in this department over the past few months to new heights. I honestly don’t really feel the need to run any sexual or romantic subs because it’s good enough for what I need. Flirting has gotten a lot better too.

Running: Day 24 (Rest)
Yeah I definitely needed this rest . My legs are still a little sore, so I’m going to continue this rest until tomorrow. I can feel my health improving.

Reading: Day 4 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Read the chapter on habit stacking. I’m not sure if it’s easy to start habit stack anything until my constantly irregular sleep time is regulated. Plan to habit stack a 7-minute yoga session after my run.

Stretching: Day 1 (< 1 minute)
So I did my Yoga session today, by following this video (Yoga for Runners: 7 MIN POST-RUN). Following the principle of the 2-minute rule, I literally did only the first form which lasts less than 1 minute. I honestly didn’t feel like continuing but I can now start building it up as a habit now.

A’s Journal
Just remembered. She was talking to me about worrying of not being able to hit her target this month for her streaming job. This seems like recon induced by Stark and R.I.C.H.

Private-ish Journal

Growth - Community and Romance

Beowulf · February 14, 2023, 6:06pm

End Washout?
I’m considering ending my washout today and start running my new stack tomorrow. I just feel like doing it. It seems that I’m getting the effects of Ascension in my washout period. Nice to see. I again noticed the mild increase in attraction from the ladies. One of the girls I met online awhile ago also called me ‘baby’, hopefully they have no serious intentions of pursuing me .

Running: Day 25 (Rest)
My legs are now almost fully recovered, I would say 90% to 95%. I’ll go for a run tomorrow. Can’t wait to run again.

Reading: Day 5 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Can’t believe it’s already Day 5, it honestly doesn’t feel like it. Re-read a previous chapter. I plan to start from the beginning again and write down notes so I can implement this book properly.

Stretching: Day 2 (< 2 minutes)
Today I pushed to 2 minutes. Taking my time to get used to the action.

NoFap: Day 0
So as I was reading the forum and I considered my current situation around this topic, it seems that I would definitely benefit from NoFap. I don’t really have an issue with the P in PMO, just the MO part. Shouldn’t be too hard (heh!) to keep this habit up, it’s a matter of abstaining rather than doing.

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 0
In addition to No Fap, I’m going to slowly start increasing eggs to my diet so I can get used to a higher protein lifestyle before I start doing my Calisthenics habit. I’ll likely just start off with just one egg a day and slowly increase it.

I Know What You’re Thinking
At some point, each entry is going to contain more than a dozen habits, which would bore people reading it and myself typing all of it. I plan to only publicly log all of my habits until my run of Ascension is over, which will likely take another year or so. And by then, whenever a habit has become internalized (I will intuitively determine this) and/or I have done it for over a 100 days, I will just put it under the “> Hide Details” tag. Like this:-

Other Habits

Boo!

So my Running habit will likely start to appear in there tomorrow. If there are any milestones in my journey, I will not put it inside the tag and instead show it in the main body of my posts.

Update
There’s a couple of things I actually forgot to update on this day, so I’ll add it now. The following text below is written on the 15th.

Valentine’s Day
Celebrated Valentine’s Day with my lady. She’s told me before that we don’t need a special day to celebrate, since we celebrate it every day . I was a little heated near the end of the day because of something small but I moved on from it and we went to bed.

A’s Journal
She had another one of her special events on stream and got a big donation today after listening to R.I.C.H., nice. I’m considering the thought of changing it to Ecstasy of Gold for growing her wealth long-term. Maybe next year?

Sungaze · February 14, 2023, 6:52pm

You scared the hell out of me! Lol

Seriously keep going, you are doing great

Beowulf · February 15, 2023, 5:43pm

15th February 2023

Fiery Determination
Before listening to my new stack, I felt this strong determination to achieve all my goals this year. I was saying all kinds of positive, optimistic things to myself. Felt great! I’m pretty damn certain I’ll succeed this year, no matter what. I was thinking about my plans for next year and how much that’s changed. That will be revealed in a year’s time.

Will update my first post in this journal soon to reflect my new stack.

Start of New Cycle
I will be running Daredevil, True Sell and Ascension for this cycle. Next cycle I’ll be replacing Ascension with my Golden Lover custom ( Ascension + Love Bomb for Humanity). All is looking well so far.

Daredevil: Initial Results
Huh, wow. When I started listening to it, I started feeling a subtle tingling sensation in my throat! That’s something. It felt like something going up and down, I had to focus on it to perceive it. Could be something to do with the Throat Chakra or something, I’m not sure. For some reason I didn’t feel it while running True Sell.

Then I went to bed for a nap. As I was going to bed, my mind was almost completely silent. Found that interesting. I then had a lot of dreams…

Dreams of Death
I went through several dreams and I was killed by someone each time. I even woke up with an elevated heartbeat that I had to calm down from. In the first one I got shot, second one I can’t really remember and the third one due to my hubris I angered a lava monster that made me fall into lava. This is the first time I ever had dreams of being killed by someone. What’s interesting is that I can tell the dreams are related to Daredevil since I saw a lot of old friends that I haven’t dreamt about or seen in awhile.

My interpretation of this when I woke up is that it’s not really a bad thing. I killed off the old me and a new one is being reborn. The imagery is a little shocking but in my past experience, dreams of death usually signal a new direction or strong upwards trajectory in life.

I also slept for quite a long time and I was pretty tired. I’m surprised Daredevil is doing this to me, I didn’t expect to have strong effects from this title.

Daredevil: Initial Results II
After I woke up, I head to the gym. As I was heading to the gym and came back from it after my run, I was more carefree and enjoyed myself more. Bopping my head to the music sitting down, walking like I’m in a dance. It’s really nice. I still left the gym early before I did my stretches, since I saw someone I knew and it made me slightly embarrassed to stay there and do yoga . So that’s something that needs to be worked on.

While talking and messaging my partner, she said that I’m “ more silly” today. She seems to like it. I feel the same way, since I noticed I made some silly, funny jokes.

Running: Day 26 (W4/D3)
I actually handled this better than my previous run, even if it’s slightly harder. I reached a new milestone today as I have now hit my 1/2 Way to 5K badge!

Didn’t do my stretching immediately though, when I definitely should have.

Reading: Day 6 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
I started again from the beginning and made notes for the first chapter. I basically used the method talked about here.

Looks nice and tidy, I enjoy it.

NoFap: Day 1
Not much to note other than I felt a minor urge. Well, not really since I had to hold myself back .

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 1
Ate one hard-boiled egg at night.

Stretching: Day 3 (< 2.5 minutes)
Love these stretches, it hits all the nice spots. Did this before going to bed.

A’s Journal
She seems really giddy and happy today. This increased after I ran my stack today too. I love the effects Chosen is having on her, she’s in a really positive mood and it feels great to see .

Beowulf · February 17, 2023, 7:54am

Missed One Day
Missed a day of journaling on the 16th. Technically, I could have but honestly I was too tired . It’s no big deal. I always make it up the next day, which is nice. The following is written on the 17th of February detailing what happened on the 16th, will be writing it as if I’m writing it on the 16th.

Social Interaction - Analysis
So I went to work with my colleagues today, basically taught them a class on marketing. It does seem I’m basically a bare novice teaching people who are complete beginners, so I feel underqualified for this role . In any case, throughout my interactions I realized quite a few things:-

It was quite awkward for me to tell a captivating story.
Found it difficult to hear and understand some people (in my 2nd language).
I don’t seem to make strong eye contact.
Not great at creating and continuing conversations that are high energy.
Difficulty in focusing on several people at once during a conversation.
Not good with banter with people I’m not comfortable with, which leads to awkward situations.

Negative things that aren’t listed that I generally notice in my day-to-day life:-

I have a massive problem with replying people’s text messages. Partially fear(?), mostly lack of care. This has been quite negative for my sales.
Hard to connect with people that show discriminatory behaviour towards other people (racism, sexism, homophobia, etc). Lots of people in my country are like this.

The upsides are:-

I always show genuine interest in what someone is saying.
I’m a fantastic listener.
I know how to deeply understand other people, which makes people feel understood.
Patient when being helpful, understands the ways people make mistakes.
Due to 3), I’m great at avoiding misunderstandings, disagreements and escalations.
Not offended when criticized, take criticism with an open heart to improve.

Positive things that aren’t listed that I generally notice in my day-to-day life:-

Straightforward but gentle. Honest but not harsh. So people trust me for my advice.
Instead of answering questions in a surface level manner (yes/no), I answer them in a way that leaves them with more solutions and satisfaction (a good sales skill to have!)

So if I were to look at this objectively, it seems that where my strengths show are in 1-on-1 conversations, that skip past the small talk into what people really are motivated, passionate and/or emotional about. My weakness is present in anything isn’t deep talk, that is high energy and that involves a group. My inability to tell a compelling, captivating story also reduces my ability in being able to gather an individual and/or group’s attention.

You can think of me as the mostly silent or completely silent guy in group meetings and the guy that talks to you 1-on-1 outside of them to get to know you better that isn’t necessarily interesting by themselves but you’d feel comfortable telling your problems to get solutions and a helpful ear. I can be quickly become a reliable confidant and good friend but not a high energy one. Even my girl, who loves me dearly says I’m not that charming (god, I love her honesty!).

Clearly my strengths are great but if I can work on my weaknesses, I’d be unstoppable socially. It’d also help me garner more respect with my family and especially the workplace. Help land me way more sales too.

I made the perfect choice in going with Daredevil and True Sell. This is exactly what I need. Didn’t really notice it in action though today. I just need to get myself into more real life conversations that are outside my comfort zone. I’m thinking those two lead to me writing down this analysis in the first place.

New Custom Idea?
So initially, I basically had the idea of having an Ascension + LBFH custom ( Golden Heart) for a year then followed by a Godlike Masculinity + Heartsong custom. I’m now thinking it’s way smarter to go with a Ascension + Godlike Masculinity custom instead, then I follow it up with a Heartsong + LBFH custom. It’s way more focused, so I’ll get much better results. I also think running GLM immediately is a lot more useful in the immediate future.

Broken Laptop Screen
A co-worker of mine broke my laptop screen by accident. I didn’t realize it was broke until I came back home. It’s broken inside, not outside so I can still type on it - it just looks cosmetically ugly. That sucks. Was quite mad about it.

NoFap: Day 2 (Close Call)
This was a dangerous day lol. I thankfully stopped but I was pretty damn close to already ending my streak. Turns out I am actually addicted to this .

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 2
1 hard-boiled egg at night.

Reading: Day 7 (Atomic Habits - 2 Chapters)
Made notes for an old chapter, read a new chapter. There are so many “AHA!” moments in this book. It seems like a common-sense book but once you actually read it deeply, you understand this is something people really need.

Stretching: Day 4 (< 1 minute)
I was honestly procrastinating so much to the point I didn’t want to look at the video to do it. So I just said, “Whatever, I’ll just do it without looking at it. If not, I’ll be delaying this forever”. Basically found a way to keep my streak going in a smart way.

Other Habits (1)

Running: Day 27 (Rest)
Just a standard rest day. Not much to note.

Beowulf · February 17, 2023, 5:23pm

17th February 2023

Replaced?
My co-worker intends to buy me a new laptop after they messed up the screen for my birthday. Unexpected positive manifestation?

All Eyes On Me
Weird. After my subliminal session today, I went to the gym for my run and unlike the previous days as I was walking past them they snapped a look at me. Not sure why this is the case . It might be due to a mix of the auras emitted by the three major subs I’m running. Most likely though, my intuition tells me that I have grown, transitioning from being a beginner with Ascension to becoming an intermediate user which means my results are entering a different level. Okay, so this seems to occur in my 4th cycle of a subliminal.

Also, I noticed my eye contact with strangers is a lot more confident. When they snapped a look at me in the gym (and in the convenience store later), I basically looked at them until they averted their gaze. Before, I used to snap a look at them and look away before they do. Increase in dominance and confidence, it seems. Nice to have.

Besides that, attraction seems slightly higher than usual than my previous runs of Ascension. Need time to figure out.

Stretching: Day 5 (< 2 minutes)
Right after my run, I did my post-run yoga stretch at the gym instead of doing it at home out of embarrassment. Proud of myself for doing it . I kinda sprained my shoulders from stretching though .

Reading: Day 8 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Made notes for the chapter on Cue, Craving, Response and Reward.

NoFap: Day 3
No real urge.

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 3
Ate 2 hard-boiled eggs, up from 1. Aim to increase up to 10 per day, then I’ll start doing bodyweight exercises.

Other Habits (1)

Running: Day 28 (W5/D1)
For some reason, this run felt easier than my previous one despite being more intensive. I’ve gotten into a groove now. Step into the gym, set my phone on the treadmill, select the settings and go for a run. No delays.

Beowulf · February 18, 2023, 6:55pm

Reading: Day 9 (Atomic Habits - 1 Chapter)
Read 1 new chapter. I also skimmed through a book on Kaizen, I think it’s a way too fluffy but it confirmed my suspicions that taking very small steps, that seem almost too trivial is the way to progress.

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 4
Ate 2 hard-boiled eggs.

NoFap: Day 4
No real urge.

Stretching: Day 6 ( <30 seconds)
Didn’t have proper time to do this, so I did this quickly on my bed.

Sleeping: Day 0
I aim to sleep around 7 to 8 hours per night. My sleep schedule is completely messed up now so this will greatly enhance all areas of my life. Will read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker.

Other Habits (1)

Running: Day 29 (Rest)
Standard rest day. I’ll go for a run tomorrow.

Private-ish Journal

Respect and Cog Theory

Becoming · February 18, 2023, 9:22pm

I like this goal, it’s something I need to work on too. I’ll be checking out that book at some stage.

Beowulf · February 20, 2023, 6:50am

19th February 2023

Missed Journaling
Missed one day of journaling. I’m fine with it now because I think this is pretty much an internalized habit. As per usual, this is written as if I’m writing it on the 19th.

Recon
My girl called me silly again today and I found myself making funny, silly jokes again. For some reason I don’t see this being translated to my work and family yet, it confuses me.

Got annoyed (and angry) by a few things that my girl did. This definitely seems to be recon. I also realized I was thinking of how people perceived me as I walked past them today - not positive thoughts. Might be something to do with the social subs I ran today.

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 5
Ate 3 hard-boiled eggs instead of 2. Eating 3 eggs is starting to feel a little cumbersome. I wonder how people eat 30 eggs a day

NoFap: Day 5
Not much to comment on. After 10 days, I plan to move on to drink 4 litres of water as my next habit.

Stretching: Day 7 (2 minutes)
Stretched at the gym for a few minutes.

Sleeping: Day 0
Slept poorly.

Reading: Day 10 (Missed)
Missed a reading day. That’s fine, will continue tomorrow.

Other Habits (1)

Running: Day 30 (W5/D2)
Wow, didn’t know I could run for 8 minutes straight. I kinda started falling a little bit near the end though so I’ll take a rest day tomorrow.

Also, I ran for 30 days! Good milestone.

KingEsh · February 20, 2023, 6:02pm

Awesome bro, I am loving running more and more. Keep it up, I cant wait til I hit 30 days

Beowulf · February 20, 2023, 7:58pm

Work with Colleagues
I’m noticing a pattern here. My line of work doesn’t necessarily need me to get involved with my colleagues but ever since I ran Daredevil I seem to be manifesting situations in which I work with them more in some manner. Also, I actually received a text message yesterday from a guy I’m starting to be friends with which coincides with the fact that I ran Dardevil yesterday. Very interesting.

Also, I was chased by a few dogs this morning and got a couple of scratches on my arm from the plants I jumped into . Not a great start to my day but unlike how I usually act, I’m a lot more emotionally stable afterwards than I usually am. Seems to be Ascension maturing me. I was thinking about how people would view my arm in public and how it could be misconstrued as me being mentally unhealthy or something.

So I met my colleagues and I seem to be holding better eye contact and they seem friendlier. I’ve pretty much figured out why I’m not really being that good socially. My posture and lack of drinking water is actually affecting me to a larger degree than I expected. Will need to handle this in the following weeks.

Reading: Day 11 (The Path to Nibbana - ? Chapters)
I was pretty busy the whole day so I read this book on my phone. I’m questioning whether to pursue TWIM. I’m actually not at all interested in reaching Nirvana, at least for now. And I don’t think that’s the only path. And if it’s not the only path, why lock myself in? Will consider doing this practice until I reap the benefits I desire, then stop and pursue other things. @SwedishBuddha Any advice?

Sleeping: Day 0
Woke up early today. Not sure if I can actually wake up early tomorrow though. I must though. This is a habit that is likely going to remain at Day 0 for quite awhile. It’ll take time for my reorient my sleeping schedule back to normal.

Consider disregarding this book, since I see it being heavily criticized for it’s rampant misrepresentation of facts (and stretching the truth of his credentials). Seems really convincing. Hmm, I’d rather not read a book that may put disinformation into my head than not. @Becoming take this into account if you want to read it.

NoFap: Day 6 (Missed)
I’m sure you know what “Missed” actually means . I was basically rationalizing it the whole time. Saying, “Oh, I have a partner. Do I really need to follow this?”, “Ah, I don’t want to spend too much willpower on this, there are higher ROI habits I can work on!” to “We can do this habit later, silly goose”. In hindsight, these are all obviously justifications for breaking my habit. And they all logically make no sense lol.

I don’t plan to reset the number of days, just make a note that it’s missed here and keep moving forward. I plan to implement drinking water ASAP, maybe even tomorrow.

High-Protein Lifestyle: Day 6
There has to be a faster way to open hard-boiled eggs . It seems that steaming the eggs and immediately putting them into cold water makes it easier to open the shell. Ate 2.5 eggs today. For the 3rd egg I only ate the yolk, didn’t have the appetite for the whites.

Stretching: Day 8 (< 30 seconds)
Totally forgot about this. Stretched quickly on the bed. I need to habit stack this with waking up or any other of my morning habits.

Other Habits

Running: Day 31 (Rest)
Rest day. I thought my legs would need more rest but I don’t think they do. Will run tomorrow and rest for 2 days afterwards.

Private-ish Journal

Culture, Parents and Abuse

Beowulf · February 20, 2023, 7:58pm

I’m sure you can do it brother, can’t wait to see it