thanks for checking,
I’m doing much much better mentally and physically.
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Haven’t been checking out your journal for a while and I hope you are safe. Take good care.
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Feeling in a mentally much better place after the main bulk of this whole ordeal.
I am confident the difficult part is behind me
had I not handled the scenario with intensity and urgency that I did ( 3 doctors visits, 2 lab visits for blood tests, 1 ER visit, and multiple calls in 5 days ) -it could have been much worse or even fatal
It literally occurred like the universe throwing worst case scenarios after another-everything that could go wrong went wrong- insurance not going throw, allergy/very bad reaction to initial medication, new medication not going through pharmacy after doctor ordered it once everything had shut down, ‘experts’ giving uncertain or wrong diagnosis, inaccurate referrals etc, needed specialist not at ER etc
It was very difficult in the midst of it but
I noticed at one point an internal anxiety from a dissociated trauma state
looking to grab hold of whatever the next things was that I had to consciously letting go of before things started getting better.
In my experience I don’t think destroying/ smashing or any of the more common vernacular with how to deal with or internal experience and healing is nearly as powerfully as understanding, loving, releasing, regulating, soothing etc----the former seems to temporarily hide but really perpetuate the issue
I don’t know if this was an initiation ordeal of sorts, just dealing with ‘life happening’ , part of me was manifesting it, or the universe throwing louder and louder messages my way-maybe a bit of all of it.
maybe to someone else it would have been not a big deal- but everything about it triggered my deepest fears, anxieties, physiological difficult responses, existential crisis, my faith in everything was very tested,
I’m all for a powerful life full of confidence, and amazing results, and I’m all for spiritual growth, but if these don’t account for and include how to be and really deal with the ‘sickness, old age, and death’, as I believe the Buddha said then I it’s value will be temporary at best IMO
My stack going into this was DR stage 3, Emperor custom, Paragon custom
intense fixation and complete myopia to the rest of my life in survival mode, insane challenge after challenge, and health issues -ironic, just the filter I was looking through, or connected?
I hope this is not how my subconscious has me deal with growing in this areas.
Because currently feel vastly free from every minor concern, the strength of surmounting a huge ordeal, and like every aspect of my health and well being, especially where it was missing before, on a psychological level, is being accounted for
I do feel like a completely difference person
I intend to stay in this space
This will be my 6th day off subs as well, longest in over a year, as I wasn’t sure taxing my system with that during a crisis was the move-intuitively it felt off.
I can say definitively that the core essence of what I had been running for the last few months feels seamlessly part of my being- and deeper integration -from this time off- like the solute of the subliminals has dissolved more fully in the solvent of who I am- or to say like a laymen the mud has settled and the water is cleared.
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I’m glad you have lived though all this.
I see you have wisdom and applied it.
I’m glad you are still here, man!
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Any idea of what triggered the initial physical reaction. Was any specific factor identified?
Practically-
possibly a cut or friction burn I didn’t notice, I’ve been very physical active with rock climbing and gym, and sometimes go an hour or so after to hang out with friends and grab food and not showering, so admittedly my hygiene has been low during those periods.
internally practically-
lack of probiotics and healthy internal gut flora
energy medicine wise-
my body is reflecting what I am going through internally as my sensitivity increases- anger surfacing
If I were going really far out there-
related to recon from QV2 Immortals blade and/or Paragon combined
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Yeah, my mind went there too.
Not recon, specifically;
but the bodymind bringing about a healing crisis.
But as for the practical causes, those make sense. Need to be careful with disinfecting cuts, I guess. Hadn’t thought about it before, but now that you say it, of course, rock climbing would open up more possibilities for that. Literally contending with the Earth; (gloved) hand to rock.
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This was definitely the body mind bringing about a healing crisis.
If there was a cut-it was unseen-
I really appreciate your and everyone else who commented support and well wishes and intentions.
I strongly believe it was a contributing factor in making a positive difference
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I’ve started to get my normal impulses back
and noticed for brief points today of increase in seeking validation for my desirability
and feeling invisible today. Could be deeper recon. I doubt it’s the acute effects of subs fading as they feel stronger internal.
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@Hermit mentioned some adverse migraine reactions to new tech.
It’s interesting that you had migraine reactions, which is a neurological effect.
I just started running a QV2 loop in masked and the processing sound/ tinnitus like effect which had faded as the week went on from my last week off- . (In energy medicine this could be downloads or energy coded messages as you once pointed out, or it could be neurological/internal processing normally not noted coming to the forefront of my consciousness)
It seems this subs have a strong neurological effect.
For the record, I am not attributing any connotation to this, just noting this is my reaction after a week off subs, when reintroduced.
This has gone from an ‘issue’ to an aspect of my experience at times and I have been looking to discern the primary contributing factors, after a week off subs, I would say a responses I have to running subs contributes largely to this phenomena.
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@Azriel, not everything is to be directly attributed to Subliminal’s or technology — everything is interwoven and interconnected; I prefer when others do not reaffirm what I said towards their own perception. I mentioned there was way more to it, we are undergoing a massive Ascension process and my Heart chakra was being tampered with dramatically.
Have you seen the Schumann Resonance and the Light which has been incoming? It’s absolutely ridiculous — I’ve been grounding so much Light my vessel literally had to readjust and on top of that, I was ingesting tremendous amounts of subliminal programming.
God operates through everyone, whether the person knows it or not, nothing is untouched by God. It just happens to be a coincidence that whenever Subliminal Club releases a more potent technology, it happens to be during a period of outstanding evolution, which obviously affects me harshly since I’m a profound beacon of Light and have to do a lot of work in the field.
The weather is a representation of the Energies, both locally as globally – pay attention and awareness to it.
I’m never ever anxious, and the amount of anxiety, hard palpations, brain fog I’ve been having surely was to be attributed to Subliminal’s for some part, but for the most part, it had to do with the significant changes in my Light body.
I had to shift back to Rebirth Q, as I was guided to, in order to release some of these chakric blockages which were preventing me from processing the scripts.
Do you think it is a coincidence that those who’re most inclined and drawn to Spiritual material all have had such severe reactions?
Ascension is both a Global as an individual process, and depending on each unique path they’ll be affected differently, besides Subliminal’s are powerful tools of Alchemy and I’ve been able to cope with major Customs because I know how to transmute energy using Magick — however, focus and concentration, and emotion are necessary counterparts to a successful ritual which disabled me to perform properly as the cause of these issues came from the subconscious directly.
Alchemy means affecting the Energy body – a subliminal such as Ascension has objectives in it to increase confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, will, and so on – which are all directly affecting our Solar Plexus chakra and therefore making us feel stronger below the Heart.
Optimally a Subliminal needs a balance in all the chakra’s – scripting to benefit all chakras and harmonize them would be wonderful.
Imagine being able to construct a Core script choosing from specific Modules divided into categories related to each Chakra — once all Chakra’s are balanced and harmonized, each portal starts to run energy through it fluently, and the whole organism functions at the highest capacity, enabling it to operate with maximum God Force and feel alive.
Hence, with the availability of Modules right now, I always focus on the Heart Chakra, it keeps another chakra’s in balance as it is the middle point of the entire column — yet I see far more untouched potential in the technology.
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Well, holy macaroni. Brilliant idea! I’m all in for that to happen. This just gave so many ideas 
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I was thinking about this recently when one member (forgot the name) started the thread about a custom for the Root Chakra.
They should all be balanced, so I thought a title or custom to balance all the Chakras would certainly be TRULY powerful.
I get that, and of course there are a multitude of personal and universal factors interwoven. I also ran a custom last night with the module for head/neck and woke up with the worst stiff neck and pain in that area I’ve ever had. I’ve never had that happen before, it got better fast but for me I don’t think these things are coincidences or not connected. Especially since I see so many positive obvious effects as well in what the subs are doing. So while I tremendously value the subliminals here and what they contribute and even make newly possible in my life. I am also increasingly aware of the challenges in recon they may manifest at least temporarily.
You’re talking about me. My original intent was to build a custom solely focused on the Root Chakra. If you look at my new thread, you will see that I build a more general Chakra custom, with a sub-focus on the Root.
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This is the second time I’m reading of this kind of effect of healing/Physical Shifting subliminals with you. Your bodymind seems to interpret those particular programs literally and powerfully and to then generate healing crises to bring about transformation.
Probably a good idea to mind the intensity and frequency of your exposure to this particular type of program.
It does fit with your increasing embrace of the Healer role and archetype. Traditional healers and spiritual healers are frequently reported to make use of the ‘crisis’ as a means of creating transformation.
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Yes, it seems there may be some connection,
the neck issue wasn’t a big deal and by now my neck does feel better today than it did yesterday,
so it may be part of the healing process.
I think with increased sensitivity the body reflects what is occurring internally more poignantly perhaps.
And running that loop yesterday of paragon custom yesterday also seems to have helped my first skin issue tremendously, as the inflammation made the largest decrease from last night to today then it has so far.
I will definitely go slow with these customs, thanks for pointing this out, both the pattern and the consideration, which were both on my mind as well.
Am thinking of it in view of your sun sign being in Pisces.
Pisces: The blurring of boundaries. The empowerment of dreams, fantasy. The orientation to consciousness itself. Sympathy and empathy as orienting principles. Positive and Negative Contagion.
Combining that with the Sun. Seems like it could heighten the effects of mental orientation on the body and on physical realities.
This allows powerful healing abilities, but also a wilder ride in the process.
Reminds me of the sympathetic healing practices found among shamans and other indigenous healing. The healer absorbs the sickness of the person they are helping. They transform and heal the illness in their own body, and then the power of their healing conveys the other person into a state of health as well. Hence, ‘sympathetic healing’. It feels, intuitively, like a Piscean kind of process.
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Custom report
I went to a social event today, a small art gallery opening at a friends store, there were tons of attractive woman and I felt very comfortable and confident socializing. I enjoyed making connections. But something was very off even as it went great, I was totally immersed in the convos, but completely in my head, not in a stifled way, but in an analytical way. I find my ‘game’ has gone down since switching to PS instead of primal, and I’m more committed to interactions going a certain way, and less shamelessly expressed, and my mind is spinning to make that happen. That with Emperor, which is indifferent and a little intimidating is weird. I couldn’t get a full read on people, when usually intuitively things are very clear to me. I also felt like I couldn’t capitalize on the strong interest I was getting at points. I felt a strong desire to switch to Khan soon after the event. This was my first social event in a while and I’m still breaking in this sub definitely saw some new good things coming forward from my self but far from my best or where I’d want to be in social situations. So I’ll give it a few more weeks.
A friend tried to hook me up with this girl who was supposed to come, but she missed the event and my group headed out. I met the girl she wanted me to meet at the end and she was super cute. So maybe some manifestation there. But couldn’t end up staying around, so on par with the night, everything was a slight miss. It was fun though, and felt good to break into that world again a bit.
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I’ve been off Dragon Reborn for about two weeks now.
I was intending on finishing but am a little adverse after some time off healing subs
I feel like I’m really getting my life back.
DR stage 3 I ran only a week on QV1 and in general it was pretty chill, with some intense recon coinciding with the start of my medical issue-that is now almost completely resolved
I’m thinking I"ll run DR stage 3 QV2 2-3 days a week and my fitness custom the other 2-3 days, then I’ll alternate days with Emperor custom and my wealth custom or just Emperor custom.
This is all pending whatever that new badass sub that is coming out of course. If it fits my current goals I’m amenable to shifting things.
Also today frst day back in the gym in about a week. 3 days since running my Hero Custom. I was a little concerned going being on meds and having taken time off, but I came back and broke every personal record of mine again except overhead press. As the back of my right shoulder was a little burnt out from climbing so I went easy on that one.
I had the most natural sense of squatting today of the year. It felt almost like I never had an injury, and standing up with weight felt like a body weight squat.
I also was able to do a 3 foot box jump again, so my springiness and plyoremtric/ ballistic capacities seem to be re-emerging (used to be able to dunk at at 5’8 )
It actually almost feels like my body is completely re-orienting to my peak athleticism-like reversing back in time-but better. Really impressed with this.
I’ve also lost 10 lbs in the last two weeks.
I’ve now gone 2 weeks without PMO as well. And my desire around woman feels very in control but very out of control at the same time. Something still feels off about this Emperor/PS combo or it could just be PS healing, as I feel very aware of and a concern for coming across like a ‘threat/danger’ , although it seems I am growing and learning and things are becoming more adjusted. Primal fit very well with Emperor -but this one is taking more breaking in.
I feel much more in control of my life on this QV2 Emperor custom. I’m getting things down and done, and setting boundaries in difficult matters with a naturalness that I really appreciate.
I got a new work project opportunity-that’s actually more fun than my normal day to day with that particular client/company.
It could lead to something but unlikely- happy to switch what I am working on up thought and learning some new software/lead generation strategies so pretty cool. It also feels very integral to the day to day success of the company-and I love being center stage and involved in the things that matter.
I keep going between recovery mode and coasting while doing very well (but not awesome/genius) mode in every area except gym.
I’m looking to light a fire around some change. This started to happen on my wealth custom. But either the heavy sexuality base of my Emperor custom’s and/or running DR alongside everything has me more just focused on short term.
I’m going to slowly start implementing some routines I value in again that will create more space and direction in my life. For now, I’m also comfortable having this be the way things are, with the tide slowly rising, until I do finish DR, by July.
I’m practicing working through ‘Upper Limit Problems’ , from the book The Big Leap- the upper limit problem is basically a mechanism to fuck things up when things are going well until we learn to handle it differently.
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