AzrielLight EmperorQ

Journals - Major Programs
#1617

I have on and off the last week been dealing with a core issue around jealousy, not trusting
and not being ‘the one’ to have what I want in life.

This conflux of insecurities/emotions has been dormant most of this year and I thought it was gone.
And while it is not gone-it has a very ‘lite’ flavor compared to the past.

From my chosen worldview-there is still something for me to heal/learn/grow from here which is why it may be arising again.

Did a loop of DRQV2- SOOO much easier to listen to and run -feeling profoundly relaxed and cacoony - no ear pressure like previous Q- and feel my breathing is getting better-like on my paragon custom and in paragon Ultima. I’m tempted to go back to stage 1 with QV2 or run stage 2 significantly longer but I think I’ll just do a week or so more on QV2. Then switch to stage 3 Q for a week and then stage 3 QV2.

I went rock climbing by myself today. This is the first year in years I’ve been able to be really physically active and I forgot how much I love physical sport/skills. Training and performing in sports might be my favorite thing, next to really good sex, and perhaps an excellent conversation.

3 Likes
#1618

You are a really cool guy, and I wish you ever increasing thriving and good times.

2 Likes
#1619

thanks @Malkuth

I appreciate it :slight_smile:

1 Like
#1620

Initial impressions of Dragon Reborn QV2 stage 2 as the night goes on

I feel fantastic-emotionally well, physically well, tired but in a good way. Extremely fluid and authentic. No sense of being on a sub or processing.

3 Likes
#1621

Has it assuaged the anger?

#1622

well I wasn’t feeling angry last night running it. The anger isn’t interfering or override my experience, nor is it a reactive anger. It’s just a felt anger that was pushing for better conditions for myself- I feel a strong edge today but not particularly present to any anger

Although I am tired today- it could be because I’ve been intensely physically active lately-also ran Paragon custom in QV2 after DR last night.

1 Like
#1623

Thank you for clarifying.

#1624

I’m running DR stage 2 at night the last two nights and so far I find myself exhausted by 5 pm, glad I’m only running stage 2 for a week or so.

Also Q subs feel incredible subdued when running alongside QV2

I feel extraordinary normal today now that I’ve overcome the fatigue bump-I still have some sense of primal/Emperor from running that custom today, but mostly I just feel cocooned and easy going from DR stage 2 QV2.

My chronic issues seem further diminished since running Paragon custom and DR Stage 2 QV2 and I’m getting intuitive sense of what to do and not do in self care to lessen them even further.

2 Likes
#1625

Running my DR stage 2 /Emperor Fitness Stage 4/ Mind’s Eye custom for likely the last time.
I’ll finish the week out with DR stage 2 QV2

I now much prefer QV2 for DR reborn and going back to DR in Q form feels like eating take out when you can have fine dining.

Glad I past my natural cycle- of aaahh change- what if …what if…what if…can’t believe I ever did it that old way :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#1626

I’m very glad you are taking this Dragon journey with me man!

1 Like
#1627

Testing new custom Emperor/PS in QV2 today

felt great, crushed work-the usually initial 4+ hour later recon is now setting in, except this time I feel fantastically uncomfortable and off- almost too strong, to driven but also exhausted and brain fog at the same time-strong resistance to doing anything-physical symptoms in sinus/ear blaring-
ran Paragon Custom in QV2 last night and felt great
all signs pointing to running more than one loops of QV2 in one sub or stacking will take some getting used to.

heading to the gym soon- lets see what happens

Also seeing now it might have been better to stick with Primal- I chose Primal for the sexual status, freedom, and dominance without the push to focus on dating-the flow of it. And already feel the PS push.

4 Likes
Qv2 experiences, comments, insights and questions
#1629

That’s exactly what I noticed too. At first, it was tough to get accustomed to the new technology and later on (around 10 days later) it became swift.

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#1630

Still only have two Ultima V2 boosters in my stack and no QV2 yet. (Quantum Limitless and Alchemist do not yet exist in that form.)

When I start my two new customs in May, it will be a whole bunch of QV2 at once. Then we’ll see what happens.

Your experience and @Azriel’s suggests that it’s almost like the shift to Terminus: start out with low loops and then possibly increase as you adjust.

2 Likes
#1631

@Sub.Zero
Yeah 1 loop today and 10 hours later I can still feel the processing, strong sound in my head distinct that the structural tinnitus I sometimes get, although there may be a correlation, that sound is always a sign of recon for me.

Felt totally blanked and estranged from life, with a feeling of wanting to quit subs, and even wishing I had never run subs lol. As I don’t know who I am anymore, and what if I am being fake or on some level making things worse for me —crazy deep stuff I have never considered-definitely strong recon

I felt super uncomfortable and antsy, like I couldn’t sit still, went to the gym for 90 minutes with a friend then we grabbed dinner and took a walk, and all the physicality and movement has me feeling better.

While this was all going on I also clearly saw the effects.

And they were fantastic, felt Emperor drive and knocked off work and to do list I had been avoiding, just banging one thing out after the other, total confidence and un-shakeability with people, I was super flirty and open from PS, talked to woman at the gym, PCC is harder to notice in this custom but definitely had a charm and fearlessness in challenging situations socially, with someone taking my weights, front desk person being a tools etc.

People went out of there way to treat me with a respect I was not seeing on my last Emperor custom.
No problem getting through the workout but the gym felt less interesting to me and less the safe haven it has become. By the end of it though-I was in the zone.

Honestly I am a little afraid to run this custom-it was really challenging internally and if I do I’ll have to test on a day I can get out and go to the gym, meet up with a woman, or go meet woman.

Hopefully it will stabilize soon.

I’m very ready to switch Emperor as the main Alpha sub. This will be my last month on it. I will close this journal, give a full report of what I ran this year and Emperor and the overall effects and results.

3 Likes
#1632

definitely curious on your thoughts on it.

for whatever reason it’s more difficult than terminus for me personally.

1 Like
#1633

It’s good to add your programs one by one too not to get overwhelmed and see what each of them does for you. Stark Qv2 affects me differently than Q. The Qv2 is subtler yet hits deeper.

2 Likes
Qv2 experiences, comments, insights and questions
#1634

Not sure if I missed it, but what will be your new main Alpha sub?

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#1635

Strongly leaning towards Khan. My plan was to run Khan and then add Stark at some point.
I may run Stark with DR stage 4 and then begin Khan after that or I may start Khan with DR stage 4
not sure yet

@Malkuth can I get your intuitive/ intelligent guidance on designing my fitness sub with APS/SPS systems?

Wondering if it’s better to try all 7 aps/sps to address an issue by tackling every possible cause or test 3/4 out at a time and see what works? The pro of the first is it is sure to work eventually, the con is the eventually, the pro of the 3/4 is it could be a jackpot, the con is it may not address whats actually needed.

I can post the technical details if interested.

1 Like
#1636

Running DR4 along with Total Breakdown sounds very good to me. Unless, you’re planning on skipping TB.

#1637

Yes, but only because I know I can trust you to throw my ‘guidance’ the hell out of the window if it doesn’t make sense for you.

Yes, definitely interested. As long as it’s within your comfortable boundaries of confidentiality and privacy.

1 Like