What diet are you currently on?
coffee with grass fed butter in the morning.
Oatmilk or nutmilk with mangoes and blueberries or other berries fruits in the early evening
tons of salad, vegtables, sauerkraut, with grass-fed, freerange meat source in the evening and sometimes a startchy carb at night.
Maybe not optimally perfect, raw or whatever etc…but working really well for me
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I have been speaking about my difficulty with subs as of late so I want to clarify for the record.
I make zero claims about QV2, I am having a harder time in my own experience, and as of now said the jury is still out how much that relates to subs in general, other factors, even running less loops than usual, QV2 or anything else. My sense is certain titles contributed more strongly to recon than others given my personal issues.
I also speak highly of the results and effects I do see.
I don’t know the big picture view, I imagine QV2 must be at least slightly more objectively difficult to run, given the focus on action, external results, and the direct effect of the scripting with no core ‘buffer’.
My goal is to get back to running titles in full and positively benefiting from their effects.
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I’ve reached a point where I don’t quite know it yet but my subconscious is telling me something which I’m blocking, I’m very close to solving it… do you think it’s the same with you, hence why you feel like recon is a bit more for you?
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It’s possible, as I’m moving through some of this recon, it feels like permanent shifts are happening.
It’s like I’ve been dealing with the real core of stuff that’s been in my way.
I think as one gets closer to a more deeply embedded or difficult internal issue the more turbulent it can get.
I’d also been listening to less loops than usual-which I realize may also effect me, in that I’d basically been doing 1-2 loops a week- so almost like weekly washouts and in full execution mode.
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Fear… something Saint mentioned on one of his posts.
Right now I just finished work, doing something I always ran away from. Just as I finished it I felt light headed in a good way. To tell you the truth, I feared doing this, it’s why I changed to my current stack. Qv2 is all up in my face when I’m not doing what the script is intended, what if it’s the same with you? What if there’s something you know you should be doing but you’re not doing it? Hence the recon.
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dude, thanks so much for posting this, this is similar to my experience.
I’m questioning running subs, if there safe for me, if I am engaging in something not in my best interest etc. It’s so strong the pull, and my mind is seeking evidence for it like crazy.
I’ve been pushed in an insane way lately, to be in action on things even as I feel I’m ‘falling apart’
I literally feel something bad will happen when things start to go well, this all started as I started to experience more and more success on subs. And it seems I keep finding/manifesting way to create sabotage, problems, or concern on many levels. I may need to just take extended time off, or go back to healing.
I ‘should’ walk away from my main work, but I rely on the money, have almost clinched doubling my income, and stand to get $100,000-$200,000+ within a year there starting salary in a new role. So I’m very torn. I have not caused a replacement opportunity and can’t go without work currently with my overhead and self investments.
I certainly don’t think I can run something like Emperor in the position I am in, or even ascended mogul.
HOM is the perfect fit for my job, and Stark is good for the business I’m building. So that’s what I’m leaning towards testing in two weeks after my washout
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That is the sub doing its work. It’s bringing those beliefs up so you can find a way to deal with them.
yes, I’ve run subs here for almost two years here now and I’ve experienced that before, but the level it was at was getting profoundly dysfunctional, which means I’m getting close to some major turn around, and also while I’m on a washout.
I can definitely relate here. Unfortunately extending time off may not be beneficial. I’ll find a way to explain this better when I wake up since I’m exhausted… it seems like you’re chasing a feeling when you sabotage yourself and the subs are highlighting it to you.
If you go with this stack… prepare to be very social, in a good way.
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cool, hit me with it whenever works for you.
I have not described what has actually happened/I’m dealing with as it relates to how I perceive these challenges coming up. I’m doing that very intentionally but will go into detail if/when I see it could serve this journal or the forum.
I’m doing a full month washout-so two more weeks off for sure for now.
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19 Days on washout
Man I needed this
going one more week
I’ve been on hyper-drive for too long and got stuck on some personal issues -all that umph and energy running couldn’t flow
stuff is breaking through and moving now-slowly but surely and calmer and calmer
feeling more and more deep confidence and sense of self respect.
Setting literal and energetic boundaries in really helpful way.
I have to keep grabbling with this, as I didn’t realize how much certain relationships in my life were contributing to what occurs like not supportive or valuable to my life.
Honestly while I could take big risks and make changes, I’m not really in a great position to move living situations or change work-nor wouldn’t I necessarily want to-as they both have great advantages-but I’d like the option. Been feeling trapped at my lack of options due to my low liquidity right now.
I still have a sense of off-ness/disconnection/ not from reality but like something won’t stop turning in my mind or won’t most of the time and like I’m ‘outside’ myself.
Definitely noticing the constant questioning and push still in the domains of work, finance, self value, and more and more prominently purpose. Purpose has always been something I’ve actively engaged and contemplated with uncertainty, but now I have certainty and it’s more about questioning, contemplating, and in action on the best ways to act on it and execute. This questioning is very in my face, and it’s hard to do anything not in relation to to resolving those questions, taking next steps, hitting work and financial goals. Not necessarily a bad thing but a little imbalanced, so I’ve been intentionally adding more fun and joy where I can into my life.
I am at the 6 month stretch of a 3+ year opportunity with a lot of potential upside financially. I’ve been told I’ll be given double my monthly rate and then will move into negotiations for compensation in new roles. I want to see this through and get some large cash flow rolling. It’s possible I could get percentage of management fee and even renumeriation of long term investment’s and it’s currently my best shot at high income and windfall so I’m sticking with it for now. If I can pull this off, I will have turned talking my way into a job at lunch into a massive success. The intensity of effort and of psychological demand of this work is enormous, especially given the uncertainty of efforts yielded, and the demand and expectations of others involved.
I can see how I’ve developed a ton through this work and my Soul feels like it’s calling in a different direction. It’s imperative I make time and room for that as well even if I play a bigger part in this other work.
I am acting on things with urgency except a few areas I just collapse when I go to engage in.
I see all my deepest insecurities highlighted in a way where I have ‘no choice’ but to really deal and work through them.
I’ve started going to the gym again and a much easier routine than before -and it is a welcome addition to everything.
I have a complete intolerance for ‘waiting’ on things, other peoples/ time frames, especially when waiting is actually necessary but a formality or a lack of urgency on other’s part.
I find myself craving running subs again but am holding out for a week more at least.
Also very curious if Until the End of Time will become a main title and what it entails.
I’m very much looking forward to the release of ZP or the new ZP hybrid. I like the focus on spiritual and internal effects. Internal and personal well being is critical to success and life quality.
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I experience the core attributes of what I’ve run sticking with me
- Comfort with my sexuality Primal/PS
- All business all the time/ urgency to get things done/ don’t waste time or mess around/ crave structure, organization, action-ability- drive/ hyper focus-fixation at times/ zero f’s given in any enviroment- Emperor
- Sense of power dynamics, deception, social fluidity how to engage most situations -PCC
I can’t tell if it’s there, I’m neutral too it, or there are so many insecurities coming up it’s masked
- Internal strength, and sense of my own independence, bulletproof-ness, can accomplish anything- Emperor
- Interest and attraction at the celebrity level PS/ Emperor
- Interest in flirting, sexually engaging, feeling extremely confident as the best choice for woman PS/Emperor
- Manifestations of attractive woman/ ease in moving things forward with woman with minimal effort- PS
- Leaving really positive impressions where others are interested in engaging me more and more or want to support and work with me-PCC
A lot of the stuff that I’m no longer present to may just be shifting more and more into pure work mode.
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went out tonight for the first in over year.
Met with close friends and community from the past at a party
Felt totally comfortable socially and confident, I could see a lot of old patterns that
I completely transformed and transcended when consistently running subliminals- show up- but they didn’t ‘run’ me remotely the way they used too.
Went to a bar after ward. I was pretty uncomfortable given the crowd and the pandemic and wore a mask most of the time-but want to start breaking out of my self imposed restrictions and comfort zone
Still had a lot of fun-didn’t drink the whole night
Had a couple ‘hits’ with some very attractive woman making opening for me to speak to them, but was feeling socially confident but ‘shaky’ in that domain.
The whole experience has me want to start getting out there a lot more- I’m still at a crucial financial and critical point but my life gets very ‘small’ when I just focus on that-especially outside the domain of my own business. So looking to find a nice mix of mostly work but more outings and having fun again.
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I need to get Emperor Fitness and/or possibly Spartan back in the cycle.
The difference it makes in my workouts, and physical well being is enormous.
Deciding to get a new very small custom in QV2 or run old custom in Q.
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Just a generally update
I’m opening through with new opportunities at work and relationships
My friend is supporting me with a sales job opportunity with the potential income of $5000-$15000 a month depending on performance.
I’m working on resume-and have so much resistance to it -same with my LinkedIn profile-anything public and visible where I am being assessed-I have so much uncertainty around. It’s a skill I never I never developed but going through now so glad to be doing it. If running Emperor or AM in full swing I would have blasted through this- Stark also would likely be great for it.
I want to see the current work opportunity I am involved in through but it’s will be a juggling act ensuring my needs get met there in the short and long run and also adding other work. I can handle it but at some point some tough choices will need to be made
My focus is non stop on moving my life forward sometimes in a performance oriented way and other times circuitous or emotionally challenging. I find very little enjoyment in reprieve in anything else.
Socializing when I’m meeting or talking to woman I am interested in, gym, hanging and having meaningful talks, and reading are the only things that are remotely ‘fun’ for me. This seems like Emperor deeper character attributes. It’s a double edge sword-since I can’t ‘shut off’ or ‘check out’ the way I used too.
Bigger vision and bigger picture thinking is opening up- it’s a little tricky with my current living and financial situation to get settled. I still have decent income and savings, but maintaining my overhead and self investments is getting tight.
The dysfunctional level of anxiety I’d been experiencing is nearly gone, and I have a sense of building real confidence back up. Whether that’s moving through recon or just generally I don’t know.
Not going to lie, I am hesitant to run QV2 again and I am more and more drawn to run subs again. I can so distinctly feel the difference and power of actively running them in my life for everything from gym-to work-to dating etc. I know it’s been said the recon is the same, but that’s just absolutely 100% not the case for me. Whether that will change after a full month washout I also don’t know. I do three weeks off in July and it didn’t reset me fully.
I won’t be running Paragon in QV2 again but I’m open to other subs. Whether I do that, wait until ZP, or go Q until ZP I am still uncertain off.
I want to get the power of these titles back in my life one way or another though. I can see my mental strength, focus, and sharpness, my comprehension, my ability to assimilate information and use it–it’s higher than before subs but down since the washout.
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starkq + Ascension and HoM?
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maybe-I want to run a fitness custom and won’t go over 3 subs- likely only 2. So don’t know how I’ll orient it yet. I have a custom with HOM, EOG stage 1, and RICH that I’ve been wanting to run for some time now as well.
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Sounds very interesting 
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Leg day today at the gym
did very well on the trap bar deadlift for coming back in
followed up with bulgarian split squats, and romanian deadlifts. I jumped in a little quick
because later that night got a bit of a back tweak-could be soreness and or emotional manifestation/TMS as it’s called. Despite the setback it was fantastic going again, and I feel my mind was extremely powered up from having done so. Got a lot of really proactive work done after.
I go in and out of just dealing with things as they come and annoyed that shit ‘keeps happening’ like this latest tweak after finally getting back into the swing of things. My mind, soul, and being feel extremely strong today. though so taking it all in stride and have a new commitment to myself, and my life, with a sense of possibility that’s been absent for a while.
I’ve been exploring the idea that I’ve created a self imposed restriction around subliminals and other things in general. Maybe there is no reason I can’t and what I am going through is all just one giant ‘defense mechanism/sabotage’ against continuing transformation and real change. The whole situation feeds right into that I’m ‘victimized’ and can’t ‘keep up’ anymore.
Feel like I am breaking through this ceiling of things actually able to be good consistently that I have never fully dealt with.
Also this may sound funny but I think-perhaps from running Blue Skies as a module for a year and half, I have developed or heightened my empathetic and energetic sensory abilities. And now have to be more conscious with setting literal and energetic boundaries in my environment
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