AzrielLight EmperorQ

[Azriel]

I’ve tested AM QV2 over the last month only 1 loop a week-as that is all I can confidently do currently without going into severe mental distress- 1 loop already gives me quite a lot recon/distress

I tested Stark on QV2 once but didn’t get a good initial impression.
My plan is test Stark QV2 next month.

AM gave me an initial drive, sense of self belief in work, and incredibly focus and compulsion to work.
In the current work I am involved in and also to get clarity on my own personal business trajectory. There was a work conversation I had that opened up the potential for doubling my retainer and a new role with much much higher salary and commission but none of that is finalized.

I have less tolerance for ‘enduring’ stuff for the long haul, especially without a clear picture and promises and more recently I"m finding myself drawing a spiritual line in the sand so to speak of what I am willing to endure and commit to for work and for what price. And honoring my autonomy. The system of working hard for another’s benefit without adequate compensation, culture, communication, and growth opportunity is a joke and I got really clear I can’t and won’t stomach it any more.

In the past I’ve been afraid that means I"ll go broke, and I am breaking through this life long pattern of feeling I ‘have to’ do any one thing and can’t make it on my own or in environments I value

I have had a lot of recon around money, self worth, focus, authority since trying AM.

[Myster]

Looking forward to your Stark journey. What I’ve realized with it is that, you have to keep an open mind. And don’t be surprised when you find yourself constantly thinking about creating something mega big(I thought my initial goals were mega but they pale in comparison to what they are now) and not only that, but also doing the planning for it.

@Azriel

I have had a lot of recon around money, self worth, focus, authority since trying AM.

Prepare for recon, you’re going to experience it in such areas. Challenging your beliefs, with me it took nearly a whole month to get my things together. And now whatever I need comes to me and things are setting up extremely well.

[Azriel]

@Myster

Looking forward to your Stark journey. What I’ve realized with it is that, you have to keep an open mind. And don’t be surprised when you find yourself constantly thinking about creating something mega big(I thought my initial goals were mega but they pale in comparison to what they are now) and not only that, but also doing the planning for it.

That sounds awesome, thanks man. Love reading your journal.

@Myster

Prepare for recon, you’re going to experience it in such areas. Challenging your beliefs, with me it took nearly a whole month to get my things together. And now whatever I need comes to me and things are setting up extremely well.

There are two kinds of recon for me. I’ve dealt with the first happily and willing for over a year

1. Emotional challenges, difficulty, mental grappling,

2. A strengthening of subtle neurosis, anxiety, existential angst, internal threats to the point where I become dysfunctional and/or the quality of my life is reduced enormously

I still experience that later even on 3+ months of the same QV2 subs (which is one of the reasons I switched to Ascended Mogul) with low volume of loops and unless I can find a way to run subs and handle that or reduce it (by implementing some of the new protocols) I may take a leave until newer tech or different builds or until my life is stabilized in a way where I can handle it better.

[Azriel]

So I’ve noticed people treat me with way less interest, natural respect, and overall attraction since dropping Emperor custom. It’s crazy I feel like a celebrity who suddenly know one remembers lol.

It’s still solid and I still feel confidence and status socially but not the mind warping kind.

My ability to ‘push’ in life and social situations is there mentally-but not really energetically-I don’t seem to have the raw horse power and energetic influence. This could just be a phase and that will bloom, recon that has me missing it and questioning etc.

Whatever the case it has me value how amazing those more overt effects are on subs/that custom.

[Azriel]

About 1 week since my last loop
Still have strong positive incentive to resolve work issues and increase cash flow
working late on courses for work on Friday between some life tidying and chilling out.
Spent an hour resolving emotional blocks with a business savvy friend for upcoming negotiations.
Really looking at the fear of being put in something that doesn’t really work.
The guy I freelance for marketing work said he’s take me on full time anytime if I needed or wanted it.
I’m going to take him at face value and stack that as an exit path if I can’t create conditions I’d be happy to work in with the finance work.

Feeling SOO much calmer and sane.
Just venting some frustrating. For me personally, this balance of incredible results and effects vs. recon is incredibly frustrating.

I’ve been hesitant about sharing specific examples of these challenges but if you guys are interested let me know.

[Budewr]

@Azriel maybe this harsh recon and distress is an indictor for you to do a subliminal washout

so you can clear out stuff, and go back into your regular bassline without this huge withdrawl

[Azriel]

thanks @Budewr really hoping so!!
I was already pretty sensitive to subliminals and currently with experiments over the next two months
seeing if I can run the latest build in general or will wait until new builds/tech.

I see how strong the results are compared to Q and it’s awesome progress, just may not fit well with me personally.

I’m on a two week washout minimum
I did almost a month washout in July.
When I resume listening I will implement the new protocols Saint mentioned.

It’s been a week and I have a visceral desire to run subs again which I have not had in months so that’s a good sign.

[Budewr]

@Azriel

When I resume listening I will implement the new protocols Saint mentioned.

It’s been a week and I have a visceral desire to run subs again which I have not had in months so that’s a good sign.

thats great to hear, saint does 2-3 weeks i believe of washout

you can do more maybe a month or so, to make sure that you cleared stuff out to start with a new space within the subconscious and less resistance maybe ?

and after that see how does the new listening pattern take you and how it feels and all.

may i ask if you dont mind. i dont want to sound rude or anything,

but how old are you? and when have you started using subs ?

[Azriel]

@Budewr

thats great to hear, saint does 2-3 weeks i believe of washout

that’s accurate as far as I remember

@Budewr

you can do more maybe a month or so, to make sure that you cleared stuff out to start with a new space within the subconscious and less resistance maybe ?

I have big goals and subs really help when I can use them effectively. Every week matters, so I don’t know yet how long the washout will go.

@Budewr

but how old are you? and when have you started using subs ?

I’m 33 I started subs with another vendor when I was 22 and ran subs for the duration of that entire time. Except for a couple months breaks here and there. Maybe I took 1 year off.

I saw the power and value of subs which is why I ran them for so long, I got very solid results- some extraordinary ones, and towards the end mediocre with a title that never really hit the way it intended to.

I saw SubClub and loved the title choice, and stacking ability so switched over. The results with subclub were much more in alignment with what I was looking for. I saw some incredible progress in internal growth and external results with finance, woman, inner healing, fitness but the last few on QV2 I have not been able to find my groove.

[Budewr]

@Azriel

I’m 33 I started subs with another vendor when I was 22 and ran subs for the duration of that entire time.

holy potato thats a long ass time 11 years holy cow wow thats amazing man!

[Azriel]

Finished week 1 washout
Had about a 3 hours period of completely following my own directive and feeling Emperor custom program blooming like crazy, overall though feel an anxious worthless mess. Perhaps processing recon or perhaps life without the strength and power of subs I’m so used to running. If it’s the later it would mean certain internal qualities faded very quickly after use, possible but I imagine they’d last longer. The other thing I notice is when I engage in certain activities that may be counter or not fully leaning into the sub goals, I fall into a regressive state and if I enjoy in certain activities that support the sub goals, my state improves-perhaps part of the recon process.

Doing one more week off at least.
I may run 5-30 minutes to break recon if/as needed suggested during washout.

[Azriel]

Today was awesome-
9 days since last loop of AM 1 month off of Emperor custom and Paragon custom

My vision of life has opened up again
Feel more myself in a great way than I have in quite a while.

Lot of interesting developments and clarity on what’s what opening up.
Will likely wait another week before going into full detail on that.

[RVconsultant]

What do you think happened to make this positive difference?

[Azriel]

just time away from subs mostly
Coming close to two weeks off mainly
I want to wait to see how things unfold before I go into more detail.

[aaa]

Hi azriel, can you please share how seducers gaze has worked for you?

[Azriel]

hard to distinguish that one specifically because eye contact with attractive woman was enhanced by most subs I’d done. At times I had a surreal kind of eye contact with woman, and I would turn around and we’d still be looking at each other. Also in conversation it seemed to deepen eye contact.
some of those effects I got without it on PS though. It’s a pretty take or leave module for me at this point.

[aaa]

Thanks bud!

[Azriel]

want to do some updates.
two weeks full washout
I have moments of seeing some bloom
The intense dysfunctional anxiety has subsided.
I overall still very disconnected from life but coming back
notice when I take massive action texting and coordinating meeting woman, standing for work, I feel better temporarily.

Having lots of thoughts of losing everything I ran subs for over a year. I still see my orientation and behavior is very productivity oriented-some high leverage-some grind.

When I’m not in the thick of recon I start to see where there is some growth.

Going in and out of feeling tremendous hopelessness, neediness, and desperation, and normalcy/clarity.

It feels a little like withdrawal from the massive power of running subs.

Going another week and will re-assess. I will likely journal as things come up.

[Azriel]

15 days on wash out

went to the gym yesterday for the first time in 4 months -I’ve lost 50 lbs but everyone thinks I look great.
Last workout end of may was 5x10 at 225lbs on bench -this time I maxed out at 165 lbs for 5 reps for 1 set LMAO !!! I have not been this week since I was 13. I’ll get it all back quickly I’m sure

Today was great. Feeling more and more like my best self again. I still have one major health issue that is concerning but I am no longer in constant anxiety/adrenaline state about it or any other issues. Getting it dealt with asap.

It seems like I was in Emperor mode all day. Have not felt that in a looong time. Whole day straight routines, perfect day, crushed work on all levels. The drive was there but more like an instinct than being on adderal or something.

Support ticket got back to my latest inquiry on recon and suggested I may need to stop my stack for a while given my personal experience or run a healing sub before continuing. I’m doing two more weeks washout so no reason to decide anything as of yet. I will try QZP for sure but jury is still out on resuming QV2.

I’m 95% sure Paragon custom is the one that threw me for the doozy. It had APS module: Ear and that did completely solve my ear issue, which is slightly back since stopping running it. But the other issues in mental, emotional health and possibly even physical recon were way to much for me to deal with.

Whatever the case QV2 recon is absolutely brutal for me on any sub I’ve tried so far; however like @friday said it seems many of the changes are almost permanent once the reconciliation is moved through. Like you literally reconcile that for life. I can’t say that for sure since I’m two weeks off, but it feels so strongly, naturally, and deeply embedded in me in moments, and especially today that it’s effect are potent for sure.

Even the health effects from Paragon custom, I may have been motivated by insane anxiety and paranoia but I’m eating cleaner and healthier than ever and it’s what I crave, very natural without the emotional stuff.

I thought manifesting and auric components were done as well, because woman who had been eager to see me started giving me the run around but jury is still out on all that.

Like I’ve always said, these subs are super powerful, they work, the question is can I handle the trials to get to the good stuff.

[friday]

@Azriel

Even the health effects from Paragon custom, I may have been motivated by insane anxiety and paranoia but I’m eating cleaner and healthier than ever and it’s what I crave, very natural without the emotional stuff.

What diet are you currently on?