Usually when I step up and raise my voice at a higher up, I already made the decision that it is okay to lose the job. I’ll take my dignity over money. And also I live in the US. There is always another job out there!
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That can happen even when you are an owner, but yes… I agree it’s stupid.
Hell yeah. 
Yep…
Difficult to say… I’ve walked away when I notice I’m not appreciated. I’ve done my fair share of shitty jobs in the past. I also always managed to find another job straight after.
Same thing in social situations. I walk away with extreme prejudice.
And I’m my own boss now 
.
But I understand it isn’t always possible…
While I was doing my military service in basic training (we have mandatory service here), there was this one female sargeant that decided to try to “humiliate” me in woods. I was ill, but if I didn’t take part in the exercises it would have burned my weekend leave.
She started to shout to me: Can’t private dive properly, are you useless?
My answer: No mam. Can you show me how to do it properly? She did, after I had made her dive in the wet snow for maybe 10 meters she saw my squad stare at her and she went all red. I never saw her again.
When I returned from my weekend leave I had high fever for several days. Due to my continued illness I was discharged a couple of weeks later after I spent those 2 weeks in hospital. Also have some lingering neck injury from playing american football.
So no, I don’t take shit well, especially from someone I do not respect.
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Agreed… though I willingly have done that in this conversation merely as a point of reference for the changes I wish to make in myself. I aim for win-win to be a nice and fair person, to be sure, but there’s also a part of that where I’m avoiding conflict out of fear.
I’m reminded of something I read once (I don’t recall where) that said while roughly half the adult population are males by default, only a small number are truly Men. The context was that a true man takes personal responsibility for their life, their actions, etc. It sounds as though it’s a different way of saying alpha, in the context being discussed here.
I wish I could find the source for that, there was much more to it than that… and in the wrong context that line could easily be misconstrued. lol.
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No mandatory service here, but I’ve also got a story worth sharing.
Many years ago I was working for a company, and part of my job was inventory control for online sales. So, I spent time each week in the warehouse. One day, the warehouse manager said “we ordered in Chinese food for the crew, I even got something for you since I know you’re vegetarian.” I thought that was quite nice, so I came over to the break area where a bunch of containers were laid out. Every single one was meat-based, except for a teeny tiny little styrofoam cup of plain white rice. The manager laughed and said “what’s what’s you get for being a vegetarian!”
I was so furious I kicked over a supply cart. I’m pretty sure something on the cart broke when it hit the floor, but I didn’t look back. I walked out early that day and called in sick the next day.
Evidently someone saw exactly what happened, as when I came in on the following Monday, I was called into the office along with the warehouse manager. Rather than me getting in trouble, the warehouse manager was forced to apologize to me, and was also forced to take me out for lunch. It was super awkward.
I severely slacked off after that, and was laid off when the 2008 financial crisis hit a few months later. I didn’t miss that place for one second. I wish I’d had the balls to just not return after that day though, rather than sticking with it for a paycheck even though I hated being there (and hated myself for being there too).
Note: I have not been a vegetarian for many years now, I consider it a folly of my youth lol.
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Betas try to fit the holes, while Alphas adapt the holes to fit them, or bypass the holes alltogether by removing the red thingy.
Other intresting stuff to think about on the whole alpha/beta dynamic
Leader & Follower
toxicity & nontoxicity
Independent & neediness
For many years I sorted men in either a nice guy-, jerk- or alpha-box.
What differs are often How they do things and/or Why they do things, or so i think.
Not sure how this thread differs from On being an alpha
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Again thanks for the discussion everyone. I think @Beowulf and @pacman teased out my real point of making this thread. Like I said this was more of a thought experiment, not much forethought put into it. I just posted to see what it would bring up.
But yeah, speaking personally I’m on my way but not there to instilling more of those alpha qualities but it’s shaky as all hell. There are compromises, but I’m doing what I can to move forward as much as possible.
I guess there’s a transition period to actually taking those actions that would be more inline with being alpha. Like I said everyone starts from a different foundation so there’s more of a gap for some than others.
I do believe in power dynamics, I think they are always there behind the scenes whether people consciously choose to acknowledge them or not. Sometimes those become more apparent as you embody certain qualities. For me the whole alpha/beta framework mainly falls into the idea of unconscious social conventions. If someone anticipates you acting a certain way and you don’t, that can cause upset if there’s cognitive dissonance in the role they perceive for you vs how you actually feel. And again that might be purely internal and building for an individual, but it’s there. The problem would be it not fully manifesting in their life.
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I also noticed that being too alpha can and will cause problems. For example speaking your mind freely in the wrong environment such as with work superiors can definitely become an issue. So many people have twisted beliefs of how you should behave. This then leads to them expecting you to behave in a way that’s acceptable by them because of their beliefs.
Although they are totally wrong in their beliefs and now that we run these programs which is enabling us with tons of wisdom. It’s extremely easy to see and detect fault beliefs.
So what do you do ? Go with them like a sheep or apposed them ?
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I stopped running Emperor and ordered a mindset/healing custom and listened to it for a year… that’s what I did.
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how’d that go? in regards to that rogue issue pacman talked about
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In my opinion being too alpha is a foundational issue. You are still putting your attention to wrong place. Which is outside. Your true strength comes from inside.
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PCC - have you tried it?
If you are just going to speak your mind, it is going to make you feel free, but it is not always smart. Work superiors / managers are like snakes… bold snakes. To survive around snakes you got to be a snake. If they see you as a mouse than your food
If you are not a snake you are not a snake, but you have to learn to play with snakes.if you want to get ahead…
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How would you suggest dealing with this/rectifying it?
What subs come to mind for that?
Nope don’t have PCC
Perfect analogy!
What cores did you have in there?
Really.
You need to actually think about this.
Are you really alpha?
You may want to be alpha and you may have started to become more alpha but are you alpha enough yet?
I’m going to assume its more of a case of a new convert to (in this case alphaness) overcompensating when they are not fully formed which is a phenomena I have witnessed in a number of different scenarios in life.
What would a real alpha do?
Say what he thinks and deal with the consequences later.
And you will then find the normies in society will back down rather than confront you.
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Yes they do but sometimes the normies are the bosses.
Then what ?
They then go onto ef you up through job authority.
Give me your best example from real life.
What have your bosses said or done to you.
Be as explicit as possible.
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At my previous school the principal was absolutely terrible. No way of speaking etc. It was his way or no way. He used to purposely make life terrible for us but smile on our face. When ever you disobeyed him when you had the right to he used to seek revenge in sneaky ways.
Our policy states that we need to be in school from 7:30am to 14:30pm. He used to purposely schedule meetings after that time. I don’t have a problem but atleast consult with us. Don’t threaten us to stay for the meeting.
No one was allowed to leave and he used to instruct the gate keeper not to open the gate.
One day I left the meeting at half 2 . He shouted at me in from of 80 people. I continued walking and left. The next day he came into my class room to check all my work. He did so without asking what happened with the meeting issue.
I then applied for leave which he needs to semi approve and he declined it. When ever I applied for leave he declined. He always watched my moves and came after me afterwards. But done in sneaky ways. Using his authority to enforce his will on me.
He felt he controlled my destiny after that.
When ever you speak up this is what happens I have seen it many times.
Same thing happened with police officers. I got involved with them. The officer was totally wrong but he mad it seem as if I’m wrong he even called for back up and I was close to being arrested. All for speaking up and pointing to him that he is wrong.