Okay, so I’ve just got done reading through all the introductory pdfs included with Ascension, and I have to say that I am impressed with the level of explanation about how subliminals work, the links to scientific studies, the links to actual studies performed on Subliminal Club’s subliminals specifically, and other things.
I can tell, by reading the pdfs, that the person who created them is very intelligent, and honestly wants the customer to understand everything, and not just try stuff and hope they figure it out.
So, I figured I’d create this post as a baseline of sorts. I’ve not listened to the asc. sub yet, so I’ll just journal a bit about me at this point, so that I can compare this later on with results I see, as I keep listening to the asc. sub (following the listening pattern for 1 ZP sub) during the initial 21 days.
So, at the moment, life has been very difficult for me; I feel like I’m in a rut that I cannot escape from the majority of the time. I have an ex-wife that sincerely hates me (I don’t know why), a daughter that is being sexualized by my ex (maybe abused as well), court system that takes FOREVER to get anything done, living with my mother in order to have a live-in babysitter for my daughter (so I could get more custody), my mother is severely narcissistic (I believe, she’s never been diagnosed - but other people say similar things when they really get to know her) - so that creates problems between me & her and my daughter and her.
To be honest, a lot of times I feel like throwing in the towel and just saying fuck it, I’m done, I don’t know what else to do to fix this situation. Normally, I’m a pretty positive type of guy, but when I have to work OT at work, constantly have to be a mediator at home, have to fight for the most basic things (kitchen times, laundry times, etc, etc), dealing with court issues, dealing with lies from my ex about me (been investigated by C&Y 3 times now because of false claims), it just goes on and on.
So, this is my baseline. I feel pretty shitty about my life at the moment, and don’t have a lot of motivation to change it. I know what will work to change things, but I find myself not doing them, because I’ve lost hope of anything really changing at all. I was going to move out of my mother’s house, but then the inflation spike hit, and rent charges are up like 25% here, and I just simply can’t afford it, not to get a 2 bedroom apt (which I need to do as my daughter would be living with me 50% of the time).
So, I know I probably sound like I’m focusing on the negative a lot, and this is true. So, I definitely have, as a goal, to focus more on the good stuff going on…right now, I can’t even think of any to be honest.
I love working out, but every time I start it, it seems like life gets in the way, and I have to postpone my workouts. As it stands, I’m getting up at 2 am every day in order to leave for work by 5:30 am. I’m trying to get my full 7-8 hrs of sleep in, but it’s hard when my daughter is here, because when she first comes from my ex’s place, she is belligerent, rude, disobedient, and angry. So, I have to stay up with her, because she’s not in a mental or emotional place to take care of her most basic needs (my daughter is 10 btw).
I’m not dating right now; I was dating previously, my mom started really fucking things up, and none of the women I was seeing really were interested in dating a guy who’s living with his mom (I can completely understand this).
I started watching porn as a way to cope, give me a release, but half the time I feel like a loser whose life is going nowhere, and don’t see a way out. I am borderline addicted to it at this point, and know I need to meet women again, and get a social life again, but again I feel this is hopeless, as I’m living with my mother still, and don’t see a way out of this, without a significant boost in income.
Okay, this is a good start I think. The only way to go from here is up.