What’s kind of weird is that even though I don’t like these feelings, I feel that these are necessary and that it’s a good sign that this is happening. Shows that these subs are doing real work. I don’t know what the heck I would’ve had to do otherwise to get this. Maybe I would’ve lived my entire life without getting to this point.
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Same here. I’ve given up trying to feel anything.
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Feels strange giving myself the permission to just kick back and watch shows…I itch to instead do something like go through a course on technical analysis.
BTW @GoldenTiger any good resources for learning technical analysis?
Okay, so it being a rest day it wasn’t quite like yesterday though I do wonder when all this nonsense will stop. When will I see the changes in my life.
I’ve checked out a Udemy by wealthy education and also in my trading group there is a lot of help, it’s just in french haha
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My assumption as well.
I’m taking my 6th rest day today.
I decided that I’ll take three rest days instead of 2, from all main healing techniques (DR, MFiH, EMDR). Don’t want to deal with nasty reconciliation over this long weekend and also want to let my mind process all the loops.
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I understand.
Yea. Today more thoughts popped in my head about the meaning of this DR journey. I thought this all this is happening in order to make all the other tools (such as other subs) work very well
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I’m convinced of it.
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I used to hate these feelings myself, but I’ve grown to like them over time because I know that they come up to be experienced and then to be cast away.
I think you have been changing quite a bit, but changes happens in small bits over time, so you often don’t notice them. Also try to let go of controlling the outcomes and just enjoy the ride after having set your intentions. Expectations, especially high ones often just lead to disappointment…
Just from the top of my head, and of course just my own opinions 
Keep on Dragon 
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Adding “others seem to notice the changes more than I do” to the list of reasons why I should continue this public journal.
Yea that’s true…
Question for Saint
@SaintSovereign Have I directly quoted from the script somewhere here? I don’t need to know what it is, just whether I did at any point. Also would like to know whether DR will get name-embedding treatment soon because I feel like it could accelerate the process and reduce reconciliation even more!
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Shoot, man. While it isn’t as insane as Friday that feeling of something very wrong lingers. It ebbs and flows throughout the day. There have been times where I feel like I need to escape and get out of this. When will this all be over? Both these uncomfortable feelings and the way life is? And oh, there are so many options to escape. Binge eating, do pmo, etc…
But I have the feeling that these things aren’t it. They won’t get me out of this. In fact, they may even prolong the pain. So rather it’s more important to not do these things to get through this quickly.
What makes me sad is that I get the feeling that nobody understands me or what I am going through. I sometimes get the feeling that I cannot tell a single individual what I am doing here. To the people I know in the 3D world, this is an invisible journey. And when things got particularly tough (esp. on Friday), I became even more withdrawn and unwilling. My inward-looking nature—something that amped up to new levels with ST1 (“I don’t mind if I don’t see anyone again until the end of the pandemic”)—is now getting in harm’s way. Yet I still have a desire to be heard, and search for someone to hear me. How do I get out of this?
Then I remember that there’s this forum, where there are people who have gone through some stuff. And seeing that there are others who are running Dragon Reborn and going through the same challenges gives a sense of belonging. I liked to read others’ DR journals to see what they have had to go through and how they change as a result. I like the sense of community and support there is, including what’s been demonstrated in this thread so far.
And I also know that tomorrow I am meeting with my friend. I don’t know when I would have met up with him again in person if he had not reached out to me first, despite him being one of my closest friends ever. In the past we’ve talked about some real shit. This is an opportunity for me to open up.
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Ain’t that the truth… Today I had more feelings of that, it sure as fuck I had enough of those moments that will lasf for a lifetime. Had a small anger fit on my head asking If I could finally enjoy a day without recon. To be cheerful again, but man. I do understand you perfectly.
Once again, I understand ya totally. To my friends can’t explain them this concept of healing, and also can’t really with my family just open up. Father’s emotional scars just remind me it’s pointless talking to him and don’t wanna bother mother with this, since it’s my journey. Speaking with my brother’s the only thing that kept me sane from this inner confusion. Doesn’t stop the occasional melancholy. But this shall pass and end eventually.
It does gets lonely on this road, however as you just said this forum’s the only place where we open up, and instead of getting our vulnerable side gutted like society does, folks here do the opposite and encourage us to keep striving and hold the line. As you saw, we got your back on this. Dragon ain’t easy, but neither is living with fear and traumas every single day of our life. Don’t forget your end goal with this. Be reborn.
There ain’t nothing wrong with opening up, less if you trust him. The timing you said this is impeccable, considering I’m closing a account I made on the pen pal app you shared back in last August, but not without bringing in two great contacts, one of them who showed me a valuable lesson of really opening up and showing who am I. And I’m just glad I did so.
Be sure not to seek superficial relationships in the future, but to strengthen those bonds with the allies who share your ideals in this third dimensional world. If you trust him, nurture that relationship even more.
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Hmm, you reminded me about how I’ve been putting off responding on that app, to some specific letters. There are some threads now where the letters are thousands and thousands of words and cover a lot of stuff (one thread even involves discussing our personal healing journeys). Perhaps its time for me to get back on there and write.
The pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.
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Yes.
I don’t know. I just had to do a 6 day rest from DR. I think I’m on day 7 right now.
I hear you mate! Although you might be referring to having someone listen to you who is … well … very visually appealing to you so to speak… 
Sibling-hood of the Dragon! 
on!
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@RVconsultant how did you know to take 6 whole days off?
That’s a possibility.
Anyways last night was TERRIBLE for my sleep and in addition as I stayed awake I had all these weird thoughts. This just makes processing harder. So in the morning I bought my favorite sleep supplement again. Sucks, but nothing else has worked for sleep so far.
TBH I didn’t know. If I wake up and feel like my head is processing things or I can’t focus well or I have this pressure feeling in my head, then I declare it a rest day. This has happened now 6 or 7 days in a row.
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Wondering if I should take up running and take a break from lifting to help this healing process.
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