A Northern Power (Not Nice)

Journals - Major Programs
#201

GLM is doing things with my mindset that I only aware of now, such as occasionally speaking with a high voice, deferring to women and generally appearing like someone who “needs help”.

Recon also manifested as me losing my shit at a customer over having too many people to serve at any one time. Others in the shop were taken aback by my new dagger-like loud voice, the silence afterwards was deafening. All of the un-masculine stuff learned over my while life is being challenged. It’s like someone whispering

"You’re weak. Man the fuck up"

Slowly but surely GLM is prodding me to move and act instead of sit back and let things happen. Habits die hard.

GLM is also getting me plenty horny! GF wants me to initiate sex more. With GLM (and Diamond) careful what you ask for. :smirk:

6 Likes
#202

To help speed up your masculine evolution, start asking yourself what the man you want to be would do in any given situation, before you take action. It’ll help you start to filter everything through a more masculine frame. Not to brag but this one trick helped me speed up my evolution as a man years ago and still works wonders to this day. Cause of this I find I’m often the most masculine man in the room/building etc.

6 Likes
#203

@Davisnwc today some skinny ass customer came in angry and pissy for something extremely minor and I reacted the calmest I’ve ever been. I told him “speak to me properly” and left the room.

So to have that kind of solid state unmovable reaction (whilst having the ability to tear the piece of shit apart physically) is the type of man I want to become. Not a Clint Eastwood type but more a retired Mafioso.

Reacting out of pocket is getting quite old.

6 Likes
#204

Excellent, sometimes reacting calmly in those instances can also make the other person feeling stupid too…great to see your progress thus far.

1 Like
#205

A couple of results from Ascension and GLM

On the healing side

  • Cleared a lot more trauma relating to narcissistic abuse
  • Gained insight into the hugely distorted narcissistic female energy growing up
  • Realised my own masculinity couldn’t develop until I forgave my father. That was tough to do but did it using energy healing.

On the GLM side

  • More masculine confidence - mostly calm when under verbal attack from customers and flexing my verbal defence muscles by speaking out
  • Racist insults don’t touch me anymore, call me what you want, I’ve heard it before.
  • More sexual confidence
  • More attraction from other women
  • More dominant in bed
  • My gf regards me as her radiator - I’m giving off hot energy and she’s almost always horny
  • Dealing with disrespect differently - I cancelled a disciplinary against a female colleague and realised that holding frame by standing firm was much more effective than a bureaucratic procedure. She is now actively avoiding me. :+1:

As an aside, I’ve also opened up a investment account online, which is a massive step into the unknown. Did it 24 hours after being told about it from a close friend. I don’t know what I’m doing so maybe switching out Ascension for Ascended Mogul will be a sensible move.

Am I still too soft?

The answer is
Not anymore.

12 Likes
#206

It’s been a long time from the forums again. Like us finally clicking into place with much more ease and less stress. Having a breakthrough with my energy healing sessions and going into the root of confidence issues (old embarrassment) and becoming much more positive.

So I’ve switched to Chosen and Chosen from Within (new ZP v2), leaving behind the old confrontational subs.

Couple of things realised that chosen was working in the background

  • My live in partner has a daughter who’s fighting cancer and she felt that we needed to talk over things, without much prompting we had a long chat about life, parents, upbringings and she seem to feel relieved and uplifted that we could find an outlet to share our similar life experiences.

  • I usually do the same with my partner but only if she feels depressed over stuff (usually work related) and I’ll do what I can to support her, within my capabilities.

That doesn’t mean I go neglect myself in the process - just that I’m in a position to be a beacon to others where none was shown to me growing up. That’s what I want to do for others - naturally and have a positive mindset.

Downside is CFW is tough, recon may be “softer” and Sanguine aided but still challenging to face old demons.

6 Likes
#207

Wow.

Truly great, bro.

Got my ass kicked by some work matters in January and haven’t followed your journey in the past few months. So glad to see the amazing development!

2 Likes
#208

Sticking with the Chosen double (CFW and Chosen)

Life is becoming more and more chilled out as I’m feeling more at home in my new place. Home is important since I’ve left my birth city and my family behind in order to mentally recover. Now I’m living with my partner and reluctantly learning how to let my emotional guard down.

Some results.

  • Talked a very aggressive customer down after asking to be paid out in cash, he later apologised to me

  • Talked another regular angry customer down b cause he felt he was being followed around the store. He’s another big bloke but respects me for keeping him calm and calls me Sir.

  • at work, things seem to go calmly well, yet people destroy things when I’m away - I’m constantly reading about TVs and gaming machine getting broken whilst I’m on holiday!

  • Kids no longer run away and hide when they see me. Also my house cat behaves better than his adopted mother!

Triggers from CFW

  • Taking words the wrong way from my partner and sulking away. She won’t let me sulk away, promising to chase me down in order to solve things

  • Triggering other people off and being mindful of what words can upset people. Before I speak my truth and it’s their problem if they kick off.

6 Likes
#209

:joy_cat: :joy_cat: :joy_cat:

3 Likes
#210

Seems you are on the path, dude!

2 Likes
#211

Chosen ZP v2 (without CFW)

Some more results:

  • Being called Sir by an older customer who also commands respect in his moody, slow way.

  • Partner regularly says “I’m her calm spot” as she’s dealing with a rather chaotic life.

  • At work, gently asking my colleagues to complete a couple of tasks and they do it willingly. Even taking over sometimes. Without any friction whatsoever.

Which got me thinking about the whole “alpha male” idea. There isn’t some one size fits all alpha type and SaintSovereign has the right idea. One can either:

  • lead by domination (Emperor/Khan)
  • lead by example

Chosen suits me better because I could never dominate anyone with any type of physicality (and there are always bigger and stronger people ready to mess you up). Being an example gets me better results and it seems everyone wins.

Anyway I much prefer positive influence and it works. :wink:

4 Likes
#212

Just remembered!
I was recently offered a bigger contract at work at a smaller shop! My supervisor recognised the hard work I was doing and was his first choice.

I turned it down, the hours and the stress/abuse was going to be too much.

4 Likes
#213

Review of the new Genesis title:

I’m also realising the following:

  • Moving to another city was a very brave move
  • Getting coerced into a relationship (when still healing up) was a mistake
  • My workplace and industry is extremely toxic and predatory
  • Letting other people lead my life is a theme which needs to stop
  • Having no foundation sucks (and makes life unnecessarily difficult)

I’ve envied people who know who they are and where they’re going in life, who can say “I don’t give a fuck” and mean it.

I’m far too nice and subservient to every other person out there -

  • If someone’s angry, it’s my fault and responsibility
  • If someone thinks I’m a criminal, it must be true
  • If another person can walk the talk, it must mean they’re right
  • If someone’s stronger and has an agenda, I must follow it unquestionably

None of this is true anymore with Genesis. For the first time I can say:

It’s MY life, my life belongs to me:

Not my family
Not my workplace
Not society
Not my partner
Not the government

Such a excellent title, even for advanced as well as new people. Just the thought of Ascension now being considered as a “deeper” title for Genesis is another exciting chapter to be written.

12 Likes
#214

The scary thing with Genesis is the fact that maybe… maybe what other people think of me isn’t important?
It’s like letting go of someone’s hand. I’ve been holding onto it for dear life, too afraid of receiving the inevitable criticisms coming my way. I believe that trusting myself is one of the gravest sins imaginable ever committed.

How dare I think for myself, to decide what I think is best? The type of resistance I’m used to is someone (usually female, principally my mother) screaming in anger at the fact that I’m an autonomous human being with his own agenda, which must be stopped at all costs.
Naturally I’ve attached such women to my life who enjoy imposing control over my wants and desires to varying degrees of force.

This is loosening up with Genesis, in fact in one day of listening to the title it has turned my view of life 180⁰. The compass is now pointing True North. Not South or any other strong direction others have. There may be conflict and recon but it is truly impressive.

It is all about self confidence. It always was.

9 Likes
#215

Not many might understand that statement Michel, but I do.

In fact, I had a guy I’ve known for years tell me today I behaved like a young boy with an old man brain. It hit me, even though I’d like to handwave it away. There’s truth in it.

I’ve been behaving like a little boy while using my head to make the smart and responsible decisions. I even started using subs thinking it was smart–and would help me appear (to everyone else) like I was mature and handling life. God, I hate the fronts I wear–though I see them in my mind’s eye as survival gear. Like inch-thick bulletproof body armor.

I’m on CFW now, but I’m drawn to reports like this. Where a sub (or anything really) can help me not lie to survive. So, thank you for being yourself, which is extremely honest. It takes real guts to post that. Thank you so much for caring enough about yourself to be truthful.

1 Like
#216

Genesis and Dragon Reborn ST1

Starting the Dragon again, this time with the unbelievable Genesis subliminal.
Keeping this here as a placeholder for 30 days.

4 Likes
#217
2 Likes
#218

Didn’t take long for Dragon Reborn to start showing up:

I had missed my train going back to my second home city and felt impotent, the train I needed was on the platform, closing its doors in my face and couldn’t do anything about it. Then I felt anger and frustration and the weight of feeling utterly powerless at other times, then started to tear up. Paying for a replacement ticket took me to near zero cash and I felt desperate - why am I penniless, I should be wealthy enough to even afford to go to work.
I feel powerless, empty, drained and feel hopeless about making it in life. I can’t even stop from being poor as fuck. I even feel desperately poor inside and like a failure.

When the DR recon cleared there was a tiny glimmer of hope that my long standing situation won’t last, it’s temporary, I get paid tomorrow and I have a place to stay. But even so, life shouldn’t be about just treading water. It should be more happier and freer than this. Reading my journal from last July whilst on Dragon Reborn gives me hope, maybe this time I’ll stick to it.

4 Likes
#219

Genesis is melting away my resistance to assertiveness - I was shafted at work by my boss, so I said no to requests to work extra. I took the weekend and Monday off and in return they’ve marked me as absent. So they too get nothing more from me.

I had an argument with my partner over buying too much food for the fridge, so instead of me sulking away because she was angry, I mirrored her angry response, took control of stuffing everything in the fridge, threw away all the old food, set some rules over what goes where and solved the issue. Success and the reward was some “playtime”. :smiling_imp:

8 Likes
#220

Genesis is making work easy and connecting with the right people and getting rid of the rest.

A colleague informed me of the ins and outs of the company I work for, how they rarely motivate the staff to perform better and losing quality staff by using fear as a motivator (by issuing targets and sanctions for shortages), whilst the managers rewards themselves with the points they should have given the staff. (He used to be manager for Amazon.)

It got me thinking about my own position and how, despite all the challenges of accepting the worst kind of verbal abuse, I do quite excellent work, but it’s not being reflected in management recognition, neither career advancement, nor pay.

That conversation wasn’t a coincidence to hear at this exact time. If Genesis has extensive wealth scripting, then it’s natural to question the system around me that has me being used as a wage slave. If there is a purpose in life, it cannot just be surviving and treading water until death, it has to be more.

5 Likes