Hey man what are you doing outside of subs for CPTSD?
I relate to the spinning your wheels thing. I would really recommend Sanguine if you haven’t given it a shot yet. I’ve found Ascension triggers really bad recon in me. Also gets me stuck in a fight state which is not something needed with trauma. Need to calm things down, detach, less reactive. I find Sanguine does that really well.
Life shouldn’t feel like a war with little battles to overcome. It’s a crappy way to live.
I’ll mention it here, then a mod can delete it if it’s promoting:
Theta healing videos on YouTube, especially ones for releasing PTSD. Find one that resonates with you, sift through the promoted crap and find videos with relatively low view counts, as they have actual solutions. Derek O’Shea for example.
I’m done with self improvement as a whole too. People tell me that what happened to me wasn’t my fault, yet I’m the one responsible for fixing it. Whilst I can accept that and have put in long hours and dollars/pounds trying to fix what was done to me, when nothing much changes, it’s still my fault. If that’s the way we’re playing it, then I’m not asking for solutions now, I’m demanding it. Trauma survivors aren’t lazy, unmotivated or grasping, I’ve been at it since 15, for god’s sake.
Sanguine in conjunction with a healing modality could be awesome.
That’s some huge growth right there. Yeah the way judgement gets cast on people as if we all had the same level playing field to start off on is upsetting. But it sounds like you’re getting closer to finding out what it is that you need vs some stupid arbitrary standards society imposes on people.
It’s also insulting. Most products for sale assumes that everybody has an average baseline to work from. No, not everybody has a “standard” life with some ups and downs, some only received nothing but downs before even the ups show themselves.
Money and sex are sold as the ideal goal to reach for the self improvement journey, but not feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest for more than 5 seconds would be nice.
I feel you man. I think you should definitely give sanguine a shot. It’s good because the goals aren’t lofty or tied to any type of possible past mental blocks. It brings you in to yourself more away from the rat race out there in the world. It’s kind of like just taking a step back and disengaging from the chaos. It’s hard to describe. Like giving the middle finger to all the dumb crap in society that has a tendency to wear you out.
Just come back to say I’ve won £150 at work, completely at random!
RICH for the win 
Well Done.
I can PM you my paypal.
Time for an update:
I’ve been away from this forum on the basis of trying to heal all of my complex PTSD trauma, none of the healing products worked for me and I was getting disillusioned with subliminals in general. Making any kind of progress was a monumental task – two steps ahead but three steps back.
Then I underwent inner child healing outside the forum. In short, it gave me my life back.
For the past week I’ve been trying again here with a mix of Ascension (ZP2) and Chosen and the difference is:
Previous to the healing, at my job I would speak up without much power and the other person would treat me as a joke. Now when I tell “Just give me 5 minutes” and the person gets upset, I stare at them. Point blank. They soon get the message.
My life is getting abundant thanks to RICH – winning random company prizes and being gifted with money. A few women have shown interest in me (but I’m not) and life just keeps on getting better.
That’s awesome man!
Did you work with a therapist or do it on your own?
I hired a therapist who does theta brainwave healing, for a small sum of money, but so far it is paying off. Had two sessions already and I feel like a completely different person.
Sometimes, life can show you that beliefs fed to you in childhood can be completely wrong. I grew up believing that I was the absolute scum of the earth, no one will value me, I deserve less than nothing.
Well, that changed a week ago:
This is naturally causing reconciliation in me. Why is life going so well now? Im used to being the one on the bottom being screwed over. Ascension caused a 180⁰ turn and I’m not used to it. What’s going on?
Damn bro, you’re really on another level these days. Well deserved 
That’s damn inspiring. Proud of you bro.
To stay the path is an important lesson that you are showing to those who read this journal.
Hey brother came to see how you are going with all this transformations.
Keep pushing, AM made me a new person but i had to let go of everything and be my own boss.
Also dont be afraid of “looking” like an asshole, i use to think like that in the beggining but what the meaning is totally different:
I am going for AM for 2 years now and im not getting rid of kt anytime soon, in my perspective way better than emperor.
I was thinking that if you need help setting up some passive income streams ill be free to help and mentor you out.
Interesting to hear you say that, especially when Emperor would have been perfect for you. In fact I’ll probably switch to AM at some point in the near future, since progress on Ascension is going so fucking well.
Energy therapy has finally cracked the shell
Long life toxic shame bounded up in my identity and soul has now been cleared and destroyed! I can’t tell you how crippling carrying around shame is - it feels like someone sitting on your chest 24/7.
Now I have more and more self confidence, I’m being unashamedly myself and aiming for the stars without all of that old compounded baggage.
However I have a new problem: how to have sex!. All that shame scared me off sex for so long that I don’t know what to do with a woman who has a higher sex drive than me! Diamond?
I thought of thats aswell but it gave me allot of opposite results and the wealth focus i wanted was gone.
Since i have a high sexual energy and a very dominant aura adding emperor would skyrocket this. People were scared and sometimes even did stupig things bcs of that. Emperor is the last step of an already stablished empire, in my case thats where i will be using it.
I would start with primal and prima seduction and goin all the way to iron throne. I was born a natural with woman and had been in the pickup community since almost its birth in the masf forum around 98/00 ,wich i went away in 2014 bcs of the toxic people it would bring
You dont need that crap, i would start in make major changes in your phisique ( exercise, diet, good habits, good morning routine) and have the subs as your backup going in your subconscious.
If you do that with massive action and that includes making days to go out and approach woman and record your progress you will be blasting in no time.
P.s: i would go an consultation with a professional about your style and clothing. That would be a massive boost.
I’m doing this solo because a of a situation with a toxic work colleague who disrespects me and recently went behind my back to tattle tale. Whilst I’m upset, I allowed it by not being strong enough to stand up to this person and recognising the abuse far too late. Lack of masculinity is what allowed the nonsense to continue.
I’m currently doing 2-3 loops, experiencing some reconciliation symptoms (as an energy sensitive) but feeling calm and filling up with raw power. Worrying much less and looking forward to life outside work.
GLM results.
Positives
New deeper voice, thought I caught a bug in the throat, turns out the ZP manifest quite quickly.
Cool calm feeling, rooted in masculinity - in normal terms - no worries even when faced with stressful shit, there’s nothing that can’t be sorted out
More powerful voice - took it for a test run, one customer was tapping my nerves early in my shift, I took it straight to him “do not finger tap, do not push in either”
When others push, I push back.
My female boss who was quite rude over he phone was quite personable, even light hearted in my presence, even twirling her hair.
Downsides
Loops. ZP isn’t for play.
The more dominant women I’ll have to watch out for, because it might spark clashes.