A Northern Power (Not Nice)

[Elme]

You need Ascension my friend, i was miserable 2 years ago and now i have 3 biz from home, trade for a living and if i want i can go to the beach and still make money when i sleep.

Ascension Mogul is so good i dont want to let t go out of my stack.

You are setting boundaries, you are looking at the world with your real eyes like Neo in the Matrix when he wakes up for the first time.

Pain is necessary for growth, desperation also. If you wouldnt feel this you would not feel you had to change something.

I was in an enviroment where i had to physically defend myself at work, i had to choices ( Run and Hide or Face all this obstacles and use it as strength to be stronger and a better person, also more mentally invincible like a Marine) , i decided to use a Stoic mantra to help me keep going " The obstacle is the way"

2 years later everyone that made my life a living hell was fired from the company, can i get an Amen for divine justice?

Me well, i went there to shove my riches in their faces but if i didnt pass trough the storm i was not able survive not even a month in real life as an entrepreneur.

[Michel]

@Elme

I’m in an enviroment where i had to physically defend myself at work, i had to choices ( Run and Hide or Face all this obstacles and use it as strength to be stronger…

Right now I’m taking inspiration from this post because right now I’m suffering a massive reconciliation episode.

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I’ve let all the customers threats and snidey little comments get right under my skin and I completely lose it, slamming doors and going out the back to cool, leaving behind with a co-worker who knows nothing at all.
So not only am I responsible for all the shop’s money, I have to babysit someone who’s new and is in front of the worst type of customers to deal with?

@Elme

Pain is necessary for growth, desperation also. If you wouldnt feel this you would not feel you had to change something.

I’ve actually had enough. I can’t do this anymore. I cannot please everyone, and if I don’t I’ll get threatened with a gang beating?

It’s embarrassing to cry and fall down because it means my partner came in to sort things out. I don’t feel much of a man right now, more like a crying helpless baby in need of a nappy change. This needs to stop.

[Michel]

The meltdown was a severe reconciliation episode, basically all the might of the previous programming if the young boy being abused is being dissolved. The boy who was helpless and tried to placate and run away from the environment of the family home and couldn’t escape the abuse. I couldn’t escape from my workplace, I had to stay and take the verbal hits from a “father” figure and feel embarrassed, dressed down, spanked and humiliated just like the boy I was.
I felt that Dragon Fire had me confront it and break down and cry.

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I do feel a breakthrough has happened however, there’s a tiny room in my mind that says it’s ok not to be too accommodating to others and to protect my own interests.

It’s very early and I’ll have to keep tabs on this. I’m still embarrassed by my freakout but I’m not sorry it happened.

[Michel]

Dragon Reborn isn’t a joke. Neither am I.

The calm after the storm and I literally feel reborn into strength and power. It’s my third week and the destructive power of ST1 has taken me to the deepest darkest bowels of hell, with my soul retouched.

Demonstrating this newfound power at the workplace, returning to the same spot where I fell apart and one after another the most despicable type of human beings came into the shop trying all kinds of tricks, sensing I was too soft to stand up to them.

Then the dragon fired up.

As soon as I knew my till was short of money (a small amount), I flipped on one customer, yelling “GIVE ME MY FIVE POUNDS”. I escalated him to security and he began the most foul mouthed, racist, homophobic tirade I’ve ever heard from an old man. That’s when I realized I was right to trust my own eyes.

I’m starting proceedings to transfer away from this shop, which is as dysfunctional as it comes. Personally, I feel like the Incredible Hulk waking up from a long sleep.

[RVconsultant]

Just wait until you get to stage 2. How long have you been running stage 1?

How many times per week?

[Michel]

@RVconsultant

How long have you been running stage 1?

How many times per week?

I’m on my 3rd week, running it one day on/off. It is brutal. I’ve had what seems to be unprocessed grief (slight shortness of breath) blowouts at work and general lethargy, so taking it easy for now.

Funny that the last DR run a year ago wasn’t as nearly as harsh but got as far as stage 3 before quitting. This run seems different alongside Genesis with all of the resistance to the “child” survival patterns being shattered in pieces.

[RVconsultant]

@Michel

seems different alongside Genesis

How so?

[Michel]

Genesis is hitting the spots that the other subs hadn’t, including Ascension. I was using Ascension as a foundational sub for a year, trying to fix all of my childhood stuff without much success. I didn’t say as much at the time. You don’t know what you don’t know.

Combined with DR, its giving a hard reset on my whole body, spirit, mind and foundation.

[RVconsultant]

This is deep, dude!

What spots did it get that the other subs missed?

(If you don’t want to get too personal or detailed, that’s fine by me.)

[Floridianninja]

@Michel

Genesis is hitting the spots that the other subs hadn’t, including Ascension. I was using Ascension as a foundational sub for a year, trying to fix all of my childhood stuff without much success. I didn’t say as much at the time. You don’t know what you don’t know.

Genesis is definitely a different beast altogether compared to other “foundational” subs.

[Michel]

@RVconsultant

What spots did it get that the other subs missed?

Genesis managed to root myself in my own physical body, then gave me reassurance that I was a capable human being. It said it was ok to be a separate individual with my own goals, wishes and desires. It gave me a feeling of deep rooted assurance and confidence that I can handle whatever comes my way. Along with some actual healing that created a foundation.

Ascension gave me some alpha male characteristics but I needed a proper foundation that went underneath the hood. Girls, looking mean and getting respect is nice, but it never worked at full power, for the reasons Genesis is addressing.

[RVconsultant]

@Michel

Genesis managed to root myself in my own physical body, then gave me reassurance that I was a capable human being. It said it was ok to be a separate individual with my own goals, wishes and desires. It gave me a feeling of deep rooted assurance and confidence that I can handle whatever comes my way. Along with some actual healing that created a foundation.

This is profound! Thanks for posting!

[Fractal_Explorer]

I sometimes think with the alpha titles it’s easy for me to get stuck in a hypervigilant state. So I effectively don’t go deeper into building a foundation. Kind of hard to go deeper if you’re actively at war with stuff on the outside. Not sure it you ran into the same stuff.

[Michel]

Yeah pretty much. The idea of “getting respect” by indirect force sounded nice in theory, but we know all too well the effects of force on ourselves. There is far more under the hood to address than mere respect and “looking successful” to outer society.

[Michel]

I don’t know what’s going on but there have been two incidents I’ve been involved in where glass panels have shattered and I’m right next to it. Best guess is I reckon my aura field/vibration which surrounds me has changed drastically (or it’s bad luck 🤷 who knows) but this has happened twice in a month and I’m starting to wonder if there is a divine message being sent…

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Right now on DR 1 week 3 I feel drained and emptied out from the solar plexus part, I’m shaken up and fearful at work. I also feel invigorated by the blowups at work, because there’s old stagnant energy being shaken up. DR is tough as hell, however Genesis keeps me moving and motivated to seek better for my life. I’ve started looking elsewhere for jobs, wanting to engage more in the education field and using as much healing as possible.

[subliminalguy]

@Michel

Genesis managed to root myself in my own physical body, then gave me reassurance that I was a capable human being. It said it was ok to be a separate individual with my own goals, wishes and desires.

I was in a store today, feeling insecure with myself, and I thought of this @Michel. I slowly began feeling more confident.

But I had a similar awareness just days ago. Genesis is restoring something vital in me, for sure.

Thank you for taking the time to write it out.

[Michel]

Cheers @subliminalguy

Dragon Reborn ST1 post recon gains

Despite still feeling like my insides are about to empty out onto the floor, the way I’m standing and walking looks strong and masculine; a strength of purpose and presence has come over me all of a sudden, despite not wanting to look alpha. Revisiting my old university after 5 years and saw how I was filled with insecurity, great anxiety and terror, being made homeless at the whim of my mother and STILL managing to graduate with a degree and masters. How much strength would that have taken? Loads.

I need to appreciate that and not let anyone belittle and demean me, my interests or my successes. They were hard earned.

Going forward, I also need to learn how to speak up and speak out for myself, I’ve relied too much on other stronger women to pull my socks up. I need to learn how to do that for myself and be the centre of my own life, rather a supporting cast role for another person.

Time to finally grow up and get on.

[Elme]

LBFH would do wonders for you on that matter, self love is a must

[Michel]

Yep @elme, I asked my partner why she loves me because it seems such a bizarre concept… You love me just because? That makes no sense. In fact I don’t understand the whole meaning. Guess I’m more familiar with manipulation, anger, and trying to survive a rigged family system. Love is a very alien thing and one doesn’t need to do anything to get it…?

DR is messing me up - have a feeling of just wanting to escape and run back to “mother” where it is completely unsafe. It’s a completely different mode of operation that I’m learning and it’s unsettling, but a burgeoning new adult self is emerging.

Case in point, I’ve been awarded £50 in tips.

[RVconsultant]

@Michel

DR is messing me up

Sounds like DR is doing it’s thing.