The Lost Girl
She was a young, beautiful, and adventurous leader of the pack. Wherever she went she was followed by all those who aspired to be just like her. Following her ways even when it meant taking great risk or experience danger. She was on a mission not letting anyone get in her way, so she thought at least.
She had a vision of a brighter future being well known by many. She would say to her parents as a young child that she would one day be famous. She would carry a video camera around the house filming everything while narrating the experiences. She would sing to the greats like Whitney, Mariah, Celine and even Rock & Roll artists like Robert Plante and James Hetfield. She would write lyrics, short scripts and poetry, excited to share her creations with others. She learned chorography from various music videos and performed them for her family. She tried to teach herself keyboard after her dad rejected putting her in piano classes.
She would place her video camera on the counter to face her as she spoke whatever channeled through her from the soul. She came up with many ideas, planting seeds of inspiration. No matter what was going on around her she kept this experience going for herself.
She experienced many losses at a young age, not really having much communication about it from her parents. She became very aware of all her surroundings thus creating a state of hypervigilance. She was highly sensitive to her surroundings though not taught how to manage it properly by her parents. She learned to soothe herself through her art and expression.
The inner critic of doubt, self sabotage and comparison to others began to shake things up on her journey to the top. She would often ask herself, "what is so good about me that others don’t already have going on in the world?’ This led her to some self destructive behaviours following her parents separation at the age of 12. Not long after she became experimental with various substances such as cigarettes, beer, vodka, marijuana, psilocybin and MDMA.
During the month of her 14th. birthday she was apprehended by child protective services after moving between many homes including her dads, moms boyfriends and various friends homes. She didn’t feel wanted or accepted anywhere she went.
Somewhere along the way she lost herself craving attention which only confined her. She drifted along the path sometimes creating things towards her vision and other times trying to leave this world through her self-destructiveness.
She had a near-death experience (NDE) with alcohol at the age of 14. She was found unconscious wearing minimal clothing on a very cold and frigid winter evening behind a church by 2 of her friends. They saved her life.
Those experiences led her to punk rock and metalcore music. Her lyrics reflected the deeply rooted pain she was feeling but was never taught how to manage and process. She found her own unique way to express it. She was a 5 foot 3 petite female fronting a metalcore band. She learned to mosh and hardcore dance. She began to feel like she belonged and that maybe she did actually matter. Maybe her early on vision would really manifest in her reality.
If only things could be that simple though, right?
The lighting here is perfection.
