Yogic Journey ~ The Art of Being Whole ♥️ 🦋

[TheEmpress]

Day 6 of wash out….

Things have been turned upside down momentarily to have a look at the things in my life that don’t allow me to be truly free.

• Renaissance Man can at times be intense due to its freeing scripting – not everyone is ready to be completely free. If this is you and you experience profound reconciliation, examine what is holding you back from being truly free. What are you attached to?

It’s annoying when I begin to make momentum or seemingly think I am making momentum, when “suddenly” some crap happens and I feel like I’m a turtle on my back having a breakdown.

I believe I still carry the assumption that “life is hard with kids and nobody would want to deal with my crap show life with me…” (ideal partner)

I’ve technically been a single mom since having my son in 2010, followed by 2 failed engagements with 2 kids out of those relationships, with a lot of crap to unpack within my mind body and all other energy bodies.

The idea that a man could step in taking on the role of husband, dad, business partner and emperor on the same path with the same ideas and vibes with me… connects telepathically without much superficial engagement or communication ~ seems pretty far fetched but nothing is impossible.

I find myself annoyed when others aren’t able to connect that way.

I find myself annoyed of the “high” expectations I have. The idea in my mind of the perfect type of man for me.

A strong & balanced masculine who has healed his feminine aspects. Where I can melt into and follow his lead. To trust and believe in his guidance with the things he best leads with, so I can be a fairy garden goddess who dances around in her dresses without any worries.

To embrace and enjoy what it means to be a woman who has beautiful children and a beautiful mind/vision for helping mankind evolve.

I was stuck in my wounded crap for years but I have been doing the work for quite some time. Maybe I like to play games and make things harder than they need to be.

I feel like I’m in a virtual reality sometimes

I need to be bent over and get my butt kicked or something.

Dunno.

[TheEmpress]

&& then this song comes on shuffle…

Telepath

In my mind, you are an old empty apartment
Sitting on your mother’s table next to you is her
Carving out our names into each piece of wood and concrete
Told her I don’t have a lot, babe, but you can have my soul

Baby, do you want me?
Baby, do you want me?
Baby, do you want me?
No, no, no

In your mind, this is some new and glorious morning
And you ain’t ever gonna let nobody take that light again
Everyone I know is slowly falling in the ocean
I don’t want to be the next to row, I never learned to swim

Baby, do you love me?
Baby, do you love me?
Baby, do you love me?
No, no, no

In my mind, you are the road I chose to travel
Might as well have been the very last thing I decide
Half the time I’m lost, afraid that you’re just borrowed
It don’t matter much to me, man, I’m not afraid to die

Baby, are you with me?
Do you forgive me?
You’re the one I wanted, want now, want when I am old
Baby, are you with me?
Do you forgive me?
You’re the one I wanted, want now, want when I am old

When I’m falling
When I’m falling

[TheEmpress]

Totally got on a spontaneous Facebook live with a friend who does similar work as me…

That was powerful

[Trader]

@TheEmpress

kicked

Spanked

[TheEmpress]

27x.

[TheEmpress]

1 week of wash out today. Holy moly!

I went to a concert last night with a beautiful friend of mine. Seeing some of my favourite bands since high school was just amazing!!!

I danced sang and moved my body without caring too much what others thought of me. I used to be so stiff and hyper vigilant without the use of drugs or alcohol to cope at events.

Loving this new version of me.

At one point it was raining pretty hard so I got the idea to crawl under the table at a food truck. Some random dude was flirting with me and followed us underneath. Suddenly a beautiful woman approached us offering this rain blanket thing.

We got to dance in the rain with a shield.

When the last band I went to see played, I embraced the rain fall as it cleansed and purified my being. 🥹

Today is my final written exam for yoga teacher certification & I feel like I’ve already nailed it before writing it.

[TheEmpress]

Round 2 of same stack has officially begun! I’ve decided to listen to RM & Stark and HoT on the alternate day.

Day 1 ~ RM & Stark

Feels so good to finally be done my yoga exams.

While watching a show on Netflix last night everyone seemed so much sexier to me.

I’ve noticed more processing dreams during wash out. The things getting in my way are being removed one by one with loving grace. Less brute force.

On my drive home from concert other night I started playing out various events of the relationship I had with my youngest daughters dad. I began peeling back layers to reveal true forgiveness. Noticing the attachment I held onto which had been limiting my freedom.

I asked myself why do I still love this man and the answer came to me that I love him because I love everyone. I love him because he helped me create our beautiful daughter. He helped kick my butt into gear and wake up from illusions of maya.

[TheEmpress]

Day 2 ~ Rest

Feeling like a sexy little goddess today. Wearing a gorgeous dress with pretty revealing cleavage. Dancing around my house imagining up ideas for reels and stories on my socials.

Here’s todays dancing playlist:

Sensual Mix

I want all people to embrace their inner god or goddess in the most juicy and yummy ways without attaching shame or guilt to it.

Be yourself. You are amazing!

I say this to those reading as I say it back to me too!

It’s like the good girl who gone bad became really bad.

Embrace more bad bad!

While talking to my beautiful sensual somatic touch yoga teacher friend, she had mentioned that many people aren’t comfortable touching their sexual parts. Even hearing the words have people feeling uncomfortable. The word “pussy” ruffles some people’s feathers. I wonder why?

I’d love to see that change!

We did a live on Facebook where that was brought up. I feel we will be diving deeper into that discussion again.

I feel I would probably have a very interesting podcast.

This being my 3rd cycle of HoT, I am noticing my belly area pooch (3 full term pregnancies) has been continuing to melt away. My waistline has shrunk but I haven’t lost the best parts ~ chest and butt. Those are still looking great and continue to be areas of focus.

I’ve been giving myself breast and belly massages with special oils.

Dancing, moving and grooving in various ways every single day. If I don’t move enough I start to feel my sacred rage building up.

I’m noticing with Stark ~ a lot more people are super chatty with me.

This one beautiful man (has a gf) keeps reaching out to see how I am and all that, which is cool yet totally random. He isn’t being sexual or anything, but why the random loveliness?

He’s local famous for his pizza magic and also won top 3 best pizza in the world at one point.

During wash out I didn’t play my musical instruments very much other than singing more. Exploring my voice differently. Enjoying humming buzzing and lip rolling. Stretching the muscles of the mouth neck and throat area.

I still dream of singing in front of people but I have some resistance because my nervousness that leads to not holding pitch or key. It’s been a thing for so many years. Even in singing lessons I noticed it wasn’t consistent but I am fully capable.

To be able to hold and maintain it would be awesome.

Even when reading or speaking live, I start one way and then it shifts. Like a wave of tones lol

Something for me to explore.

[TheEmpress]

Day 3 ~ Full loop of HoT

After finishing listening, I went on the dock to do some Sun salutation variations, feeling like a total bad a**!

I had so many crazy dreams last night with the theme around some deep fearful part of me thinking there’s nothing more for me to do here in this meat suit. That I’ve been more worried about my physical health and something along those lines. Old stories being revisited on a more conscious level.

I have become much more conscious of the harm I put on myself over the years & now allowing an unraveling and purification process to set in.

[TheEmpress]

Day 4 ~ Rest

Was woken up by my 3 year old during a vivid dream at 730am & That sucked

I was also surprised because she normally tries sneaking in bed with me at night. That didn’t happen last night!

I put her back in bed so I could get my coffee ready and dance a bit in the kitchen

I decided to stay in my pjs and go outside to do a Facebook live reading some sacred geometry oracle cards … I love how my confidence is growing more.

I’ve been more sexually aroused past couple days on this stack…

I feel mad at myself right now… I have some sort of blind spot maybe. I wish I could shut off my super powers. Sometimes…. Or maybe know when to stfu with people not ready to hear stuff…. I have noticed I stfu more though in situations where I would usually just say it regardless of consequences… less reactive ish … like I do good for a few days & then have a little blow up.

I am an extremely empathetic intuitive psychic alien witchy thing … whatever you want to call it … it’s hard for me to not see stuff in others that they aren’t noticing. Like they can’t hide what’s really going on within them… no lying to me… it don’t work! when I start speaking about it… they bark at me and flip it around on me …

Maybe they try gaslighting me?

Then some part of me feels threatened and that part has me question myself

[Fractal_Explorer]

@TheEmpress

I am an extremely empathetic intuitive psychic alien witchy thing … whatever you want to call it … it’s hard for me to not see stuff in others that they aren’t noticing. Like they can’t hide what’s really going on within them… no lying to me… it don’t work! when I start speaking about it… they bark at me and flip it around on me …

Maybe they try gaslighting me?

Then some part of me feels threatened and that part has me question myself

Heh if they aren’t noticing it they very likely aren’t ready to face it. So this type of reaction doesn’t really surprise me.

Sometimes I like floating tiny ideas like seeds. When they’re ready it sometimes harmonizes with their own insights. Or they dispose of it.

[TheEmpress]

Lots of disposing

[TheEmpress]

@Fractal_Explorer

Heh if they aren’t noticing it they very likely aren’t ready to face it.

Good point!

[TheEmpress]

Day 5 ~ Stark & RM full loops

Woke up to reading an invitation message to be a production assistant on a movie set. The timing doesn’t work out, but it’s still a step in the right direction. Networking and connecting

Did another Facebook live this morning touching on our inner and outer world and how we perceive things. It felt powerful. Confidence keep on keeping on!

I got 94% on my written yoga teacher exam!

Feels like things are moving in the ideal direction.

Thank you thank you

[TheEmpress]

[TheEmpress]

Day 6 ~ Rest

My left brain has been trying to better understand Neville Goddard’s EIYPO for a few years now because I still believe that SPAJA exists ~ “some people are just assholes…”

So basically when someone is being a shit head towards me, it shows that my self concept has some “hidden” belief being revealed to me through another seeming other about the ideas of me being open to receiving disrespect and belittling behaviours.

That I probably believe somewhere in there that I am unworthy or small.

“Lacking status.”

That I need a catalyst to push me back to my heart space (love) and wake up to my truth, that I am perfect whole and complete.

That I am loveable & worthy. Cherished & adored

We all are. It’s our birthright.

Would be a lot nicer to not need shitty encounters to promote this expansion.

We don’t choose the bridge… we choose the end & surrender.

Not judging is useful here. Changing the way I SEE, FEEL & HEAR my experiences as I persist on the desired outcome.

If everyone is me pushed out… someone repeatedly calling me stupid or subpar is just them reflecting back to me my own stupidity… for allowing that crappy treatment? Or maybe they are the stupid subpar mofo! Quack

Not that I am actually a stupid person, but that I am acting stupid for allowing someone to speak “down” on me… the state of stupid

So I will say “Thank you” for those experiences that have shined a light in the dark corners of my being, so I could and continue to expand on my growth into being the highest and best version of me.

Yummy playful states / experiences. Loving all the polarities but not getting caught up or stuck in shit!

The shit has its place and purpose though.

Look back with love.

[TheEmpress]

Day 8 ~ Rest

Yesterday was the local event I was a vendor for.

I made $240 selling books cards & Organo coffee. Lots of traffic at my table. Gave away many of my business cards.

I had some intrusive dreams last night & had a headache most of the day today.

Relaxing at the lake right now. Sun bathed earlier.

Feels like time is flying by… wonder why?!

[TheEmpress]

A bit too much sun but it’s been such a beautiful day… the sun helps my “recon” or whatever it is… maybe “overloaded” & need to reduce listening time to 5 minutes rather than full loops… better execution then.

[TheEmpress]

Day 9 ~ RM & Stark for 5 minutes each.

Felt this surge of power after listening to this!

Hopped on a Facebook live to do a 3 card oracle card reading for everybody.

Walked over to the neighbour & handed her a sample of my mushroom coffee. That felt powerful!

Zero hesitation.

Got on a call with a friend who decided to tell me things that I don’t agree with and I feel are directed at themself. I boldly told them that and hung up the phone. My energy and time are precious. Not to be wasted in areas where it’s not received or appreciated.

I’m not everyone’s cup of coffee & that’s okay. They aren’t mine either.

Slept better last night. Less crazy dreams from what I can remember. I appreciate my bed even more right now after spending 2 nights on the lake at an Airbnb. I came up with a great idea to lessen the squeaky noise of the one bed! Not too sure where that came from!

The lake life is so beautiful. I wonder if I’d want a summer lake house or an all year one.

I appreciate lake and country living. Both have their own perks and benefits.

Edit: I’m noticing an improvement with my memory. Retaining information better.

[TheEmpress]

Day 10 ~ rest

Woke up in the middle of night feeling like the floor was going to collapse… this has happened several random times before too. Wonder wtf that’s all about?!

I let my breath settle me as I settled into my “I AM” after having multiple thoughts come up about multiple random shitty beliefs. A nice clean up in my Mind. Why in the middle of the night though?

I see where cognitive dissonance comes in to play… double minded thinking is simply not acceptable as an experienced sub user!

I pulled the temperance card this morning which isn’t a surprise at all …

Yesterday I got a lot of compliments about how I look in my swimsuit. It felt much different than a compliment on seductress vs HoT. I love this title.