Stimulus-awareness-response. Subs at great at this. Good on you
It was more like stimulus, feeling, beginning of trained in response, awareness, thought, alternate response. Bloody amazing piece of work that DR.
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I’m feeling a kind of sense of anxiety. A kind of sense that there is a nameless, formless disaster on the horizon. My mind keeps trying to focus it on something, but it’s nothing that I should be this anxious about. The feeling stays around even after I’ve banished the thoughts.
I know what that is. Recon.
I’ve figured out that recon makes me feel the physical and mental symptoms of stress and anxiety, even dread, and then my mind finds something to focus it on.
It feels a lot milder on ZP. I remember on some of the pre Q titles I felt like I was crawling out of my skin with stress for days at a time. I could barely stand it. -
There is something I’m worried about, but it’s not what my mind is focusing the recon dread on.
As I mentioned in the paragon journal for my wife, she had an Ophthalmologist’s appointment today. They found the pressure in both of her eyes to be so high that it might threaten her sight in the eye she can still see out of.
I don’t know what I’ll do if she goes blind. She’ll need a lot more care, and with everything else on my plate I don’t know how I’ll deal with that.
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What makes a woman a hard target?
A number of things, and I’m not sure of all of them. Usually the hotter a woman is by the normal standards of society, the “harder”, but not always. I think that how used to being hit on she is has something to do with it.
It’s really just an assessment of how receptive I think a woman is going to be to whatever type of relationship I’m looking for at the time, and a lot of it is pretty gut level.
What do you think would make a woman a harder or easier target? You have insights that I don’t.
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I think the women have to look approachable. You’re not going to go up to a woman who looks angry or like she doesn’t want to be bothered. My partner gets career oriented assertive women approaching him when he shops at the more upscale grocery stores, and he appears to be approachable and friendly.
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Approachability is definitely part of it. If she doesn’t look open, it’s probably going to be a waste of time. Plus, who wants to talk to someone who looks like they’re going to be unpleasant?
The hard part is spotting women who would be open to the type of thing I’m looking for. Then bringing the conversation around to where it can be suggested.
I’m looking at it as a fun challenge.
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**2/6/22 CYCLE 2 WEEK 4 STACK A**
**WASHOUT WEEK #2**
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I can tell that I was getting toward my washout period. Ibe been feeling irritable, jittery and jumpy for the last few days. At least I recognize that it’s recon.
I found that using a bit of the CBD tincture that my wife uses for her MS symptoms takes the edge off of it nicely. -
On the Diamond front, I had a problem the other night that I used to have a lot when I was younger, but it’s been a very long time.
Let’s just say that the submarine maintained a perfect firing position for a very long time, but the torpedoes were not going to launch.
And I don’t just mean that I lasted a long time, I mean that there is this certain feel to it after a while that lets me know that it flat out isn’t going to happen, though I’m rock hard and stay that way.
The wife was extremely pleased with the encounter though. She says that I just keep getting better every time. -
I’m adding a a high dose of pine pollen and Ashwaganda tincture to my daily routine. I could use the testosterone boost and the ashwaganda helps to reduce cortisol which I suspect has been a lifetime problem for me.
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We went out and grabbed dinner tonight. I was extremely impressed with my ability to banter with the hostess and the wife at the same time. It was fun, and the hostess was as much of a smart ass as I am so she was perfect to play off.
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Temptation. Khan is out. I had originally planned for this to be the year of the Khan.
But then ZP came out, and I didn’t want to start in one platform and switch, so I went with the Sexcessful Emperor concept for this year instead.
It’s going to be sorely tempting to start the year of the custom Khan as soon as customs come out.
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OK, the wife has had her disability hearing. She told me that her lawyer said it went well, but you never can tell. We should hear something in the next thirty days.
That puts it in a liminal state. It’s up in the air and there is nothing further we can do but wait. I hate that. -
Diamond’s profound effect has worn off a bit. Maybe it’s a bit of recon kicking in just before washout, maybe it’s just that I’ve had a LOT more sex than im used to. Maybe it’s my normal cycle (Yes guys, our hormones fluctuate on a 28 day cycle too) or maybe it’s because I’ve been feeling nervous and jittery lately.
I learned something very interesting while researching herbs to help with male health. If you’re stressed and producing a lot of cortisol, that uses up the resources that your body makes testosterone and other hormones with, so if you’re nervous and stressed out, your levels drop.
Fortunately, the Ashwagandha I ordered lowers cortisol levels and felt stress as well as increasing T levels.
I’m going to be starting that as well as mega dosing pine pollen tomorrow morning before I go to bed. -
The stress and jitters have backed down a bit today. I normally would have run my subs last night, so the washout should make things calm down pretty quickly.
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The stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling the last few days were drastically reduced today, and my libido seems to be recovering.
I think that it’s a result of the recon clearing and also that I took my first dose of Ashwaganda this morning before I went to bed.
The company I’m getting my herbal stuff from refers to it as “the great unclencher”. I felt myself starting to relax as soon as I took the first dose of the tincture, and have felt better all day so far. -
I used to feel stress and anxiety like 24/7. It’s a lot better since I ran DR, but comes back occasionally. It’s not nearly as bad on the worst of days as it used to be on a normal day, but it can still be distressing and I don’t want to keep dealing with it. I think it’s going to be a matter of ingraining better mental habits.
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I am now taking 3 tablespoons of raw pine pollen a day divided into two doses. One right before bed, and the other right when I get up.
That is well known for boosting testosterone and having a whole bunch of other health benefits.
I’ve also added two things to fight testosterone’s two major enemies.
I mentioned the Ashwaganda. I think that a major part of my T problem, if I actually have one comes from me being constantly stressed out and nervous. I’m sure that my cortisol levels are higher than they should be. Ashwaganda lowers cortisol levels.
The other is sex hormone binding globulin. I’m taking stinging nettle root to deal with that and keep the testosterone free and keep it from getting converted to estrogen.
I’m hoping this brings me back to the results that I was seeing when I first started Diamond and keeps me there. I actually rather like being horny all the time.
I’ve also ordered some Blue Vervain to use as needed as an extra anti stress tonic.
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You are a beast with pine pollen. I have it too but I can take only a quarter of the tea spoon otherwise I have stomach cramps. And I am taking also stinging nettle root.
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So far so good on that.
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The stress and formless dread has completely disappeared today, so I’d say the recon is gone.
I’m going to stay off subs until Sunday and then I’m considering swapping out Chosen, which I’ve now been on for ninety days for PS. I may just keep Emperor going all year.
The other idea might be to swap it for Daredevil not this coming cycle but the next. I’m still considering Wanted for that too.
Either way, I’m going to have to make some changes somehow if I’m going to make a seduction stack do anything for me.
I’ve got some days off now, and my wife is now supportive of me finding some extracurricular activity, but I don’t really have much idea where I can go to have a high chance of finding women who would be into fooling around with a married guy. Hopefully, PS does some of it’s manifestation majick and helps me with that. -
I’m going to be keeping Diamond with ME in the rotation for the rest of the year. It’s working. I’m not having the mega libido that I had when I started, but I have a strong feeling that that’s going to come back with a vengeance. However, the ME part is working in conjunction with a hydromax pump. According to the measuring thing on the pump, I’ve already gained more than an inch in length. Also, according to my wife “Damn! That is getting thicker.”.
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The quickie I had last night came about approximately 20 mins after I did a loop of masked AscMogulZP and LimitLessZP on my earbuds.
I’m about to journal some deets about that.
As for going out and meeting them, I’d say just go places you’d normally go. The stack I was running when Moonbeam started seeming into me was the one of Libertine and Love Bomb each listening day, and alternating whether I ran Emperor or Mogul.
I suspect Mogul and Emperor probably played less part in THAT and more part in the extra money I was making for a while.
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- We went out to dinner tonight. I was able to easily start conversations with the servers. One girl and a guy. I asked both of them about their tattoos, and they wrote both quite chatty about what they all meant and moved on to other subjects. Starting conversations with people was a goal of mine, and it’s starting to feel very natural.
The girl was HOT and had full sleeves (I like em a little freaky). I would have been very hesitant to talk to her in the past.
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**2/13/22 CYCLE 3 WEEK 1 STACK A**
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Interesting set of days off work. The wife had her disability hearing on Monday and we intuitively feel really good about it.
I need a new vehicle because my old one has been deadlined for quite some time. We couldn’t afford to fix it.
We actually went looking for a new one this weekend, and I felt comfortable enough with everything being ok that I just knew that it would be ok to get the type of thing that I’ve wanted for a while.
I may close the deal tomorrow. -
The wife is beginning her washout week today, plus she is almost to her monthly MS med injection. She got a little way back to the way she was yesterday, but is better today. She was kind of exhausted and had taken a pretty bad fall earlier.
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- I forgot to mention that I’ve swapped Chosen out for PS for this cycle.
I’m not sure sure what results I’m expecting with that because at this point I don’t have a whole lot of contact with available women, but that might change at any time.
I’ve done three cycles on Chosen, and I’m really curious about how PS will change my natural behavior.
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I ran PS and Diamond last night. The only thing I noticed so far is that I woke up with an almost painful case of morning wood.
Of course I haven’t had any contact with any women other than the wife and roommate so there wouldn’t be much to notice. -
I spent much of this weekend cleaning up the clutter and crap that had taken over the kitchen. I made a lot of progress. I did a lot of cleaning when I was on previous versions of Emperor. This was different. Before, it was a lot more frantic and kind of anger driven. The disorder was driving me nuts and I was mad at the wife and especially our slob of a roommate for causing it. I just burned through it on suppressed rage really.
This time I just realized that it needed to be done and started doing it. -
The wife and I had a conversation about how excited she is to start Seductress (hopefully) next week, and what she wants out of it.
I read this wrong at first as you meaning you’ve had them both lol.
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