- I did my oral board practice an hour or so after finishing my loops of RICH and Chosen. My delivery felt quite a bit smoother, and listening to the recordings confirmed that it sounded that way too. It’s still not nearly where I want it to be, but there is noticeable progress between the last time I did it and now.
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I realized something as I was replying to @subliminalguy’s journal. I mentioned way back the importance of the story I’ve been telling myself to the state of my mind and the shape of my life. I’d also mentioned that all of the mental pain, and a good percentage of the real world problems that I’ve had since I’ve reached adulthood were completely caused by my own mind.
What hit me was exactly why I’d caused myself all that pain.
The answer is that in the story I was telling, I’d written the “me” character around the tortured, tragic hero archetype. Those might be compelling characters, but being one sucks decaying donkey dong. I had to cause myself a lot of torment in order to fit the role.
That was entirely my own choice, and I can simply write a different type of story starring a different archetype.
The tortured hero can develop into the victorious hero once he has overcome his demons. I’d rather be the man who has suffered the slings and arrows of being the tragic hero, and let them forge him into an unstoppable force. He has slain the dragon and eaten its heart to take its power (I hope he has a big fridge, that sounds like a lot of leftovers) and returned to the village, mighty, wise, and ready to take his place as the chieftain. (Errr…Hello Chosen)
The victorious hero is a much better archetype to be. He gets respect and accolades, he enjoys material and financial rewards, and he gets laid like no one else. And he still has new challenges to conquer.
It’s just a matter of getting my subconscious to believe that’s what I am and how the story is going to go.
I think this one really ties everything else I’ve gotten from a year on DR together. -
This afternoon I started to worry about our financial situation a little. One of those little head voices came up and said something like. RICH has your subconscious working on it in the background, you have nothing to worry about.
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I’ve been feeling very stuck lately. Wondering if there is any potential for moving my life forward. I thought it was depression, maybe just recon, but that’s not it.
What it is is my subconscious recognizing the constraints that my current life circumstances have, and looking for a way through them. It’s kind of probing the walls to find the weak points.
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- I just received Dominus Maximus. Here is the final list of modules.
Emperor Core
Daredevil Core
The Commander Core
Emotions Unfettered
Fortune’s Favorite
Immortals Blade
Mountain Breaker
Dragon Tongue
Voice Master
Entranced
The Boundary
Iron Frame
Furious Ascent
Organization Perfected
Lifeblood Fable
Eagle Eye
Sanguine
Ebon Manuver
Mosaic
It’s got stuff in there for crushing interviews, networking, general socializing, plus the productivity and focus of Emperor.
I’m actually expecting to get a lot out of Emperor really quickly because I’ve been on it for a year already and I’ll be removing the healing from DR that may have been running it over.
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- I’m having a really interesting mental thing happen. All day my mind has been spitting out examples of times when I’ve gotten evidence that I’m well respected and a lot of people think very highly of me. And also times when women have shown extremely blatant interest in me out of the blue during normal life. Most of these were opportunities that I didn’t take, and my mind had kind of discounted and buried them.
They are all vividly visualized memories with feeling.
I can’t say what program is doing it, but it seems that my mind is working to convince me that not only am I an attractive and highly respected man, but that I always have been.
You know when you’re mind spontaneously upchucks a bunch of memories of how you’ve failed and or embarrassed yourself to prove you’re a loser? It’s like that. But with good stuff.
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Nice we will both be focusing on social next year will keep up with you journal
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I’m doing social as it pertains to career success primarily. It’s been a weak point that’s held me back.
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Same here I doing more on the relationships and seduction side not networking. Am quite excited to start the new year with zp.
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I may cycle it out with a seduction stack every twelve weeks. Kind of depends on how things go in the interim.
Plus I have a feeling that it may provide some female attention all on its own. Though it may skew toward girls with daddy issues more than I’d like.
- I’m calling it a year as far as DE goes. With the new listening schedule, I’m only missing two loops. I’m going to be running RICH and Chosen on their own until the 13th and then start a cycle with those and Dominus Maximus on the 19th.
This is partly because I really want the maximum benefit of RICH right now, and partly because I want the healing from DR not to be running over Dominus Maximus when I start it because while this year was a healing year, next I’m going balls to the wall for real world results.
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- My thoughts have changed since starting my two ZP titles, but until this morning it was hard to put my finger on.
I got a little frustrated about our financial situation. However, I found it impossible to aim that frustration at the wife, even in my own head. It’s not her fault that she has MS, and not her fault that she lost her last job when she did. I knew that intellectually before, but still aimed the blame at her in my mind when feeling anxious or frustrated about it.
I also find that I flat out can’t have a visualization of a negative outcome. I think in words that this, that, or the other bad thing might happen, but I can’t “see” it happening. At all. DE definitely had made that happen less, but this is a real shift.
My son was freaking out and misbehaving this evening. I picked him up and gave him a big hug, and he calmed right the hell down. That’s not my usual reaction to that, nor his usual reaction to me doing something like that.
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- Good news. I’m getting my overtime back starting next week. The not so good news is that where I was on a relatively sedentary post, now I’m going to be walking about ten miles a night six nights a week.
I can do it, I asked for the hours and I’m grateful.
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- My oral board practice went even better tonight than last night. I was much more succinct, spoke powerfully, and generally sounded better. I still detect a bit of hesitancy, but there is a lot of progress.
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I went to Toastmasters last night. I didn’t do any speaking, but my interactions with people were nice, easy and natural. There wasn’t even that slight little tickle of anxiety that I had going into a new social situation even after a lot of work.
Everyone was very nice to me and extremely welcoming.
I don’t know if this is any different than they’d treat anyone else. I noticed since I’ve been on Chosen that I make calm but really solid eye contact with everyone I talk to.
It was the first time I had any social contact with anyone I don’t work with or live with since I started Chosen. It went well, I didn’t feel like I was intruding or like the other people were above me. I really used to always feel that way, even subtly in more recent times. -
The last night I was at work, one of the higher ups for the new company came up and asked me who else was on and where they were.
Normally I don’t always have this info, but I was able to rattle off a correct answer like it was nothing. It made me sound super competent.
Do you find Toastmasters beneficial? I’ve heard mixed reviews from people who have attended.
I don’t know yet. Anything that lets me push past the discomfort will most likely help.
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Hey @COWolfe I see you once tried the module FEARSOME. Could you pls give me a little review of it? Would you recommend that module? Did you feel more respected in general?
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I felt progressively more respected throughout the year. I am not sure what exact modules or combination is doing what.
I’m not aware of anyone being particularly afraid of me, but I don’t know that I’m in a situation where anyone would need to be.
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- I got all of my tasks for the weekend done today. Tomorrow starts six days of walking ten or so miles a day because of some bullshit that’s happening with management. It might be rough, but that’s OK because I got the hours I need back for the time being.
The wife’s disability hearing is in the beginning of February, so if I can get past that, there’s a good chance that we’ll get paid starting in March.
I’m telling myself that this is the final push and it’s almost over, so I can deal with a little toughness.
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- One thing I noticed this morning is that while I’m going to be doing something completely different at work tonight. Something thats physically harder and more complex, I’m not dreading it. I would have been at the beginning of my DR journey. Now I just know that I can and will handle it.
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