Would you please submit a support ticket about this?
I don’t follow. This isn’t a problem that I’d need any kind of support for. It’s just something that happens sometimes when I’m on subs.
This is similar to something am building but hoping it will be in a better build method like QZP
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**Stage 4 Cycle 1 Week 6**
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I had kind of a frustrating weekend. There is an electrical malfunction in the house. I was also feeling a bit of aggravation at our current situation and how damn long it’s taking the government to get around to giving the wife her disability. It may be recon or it may just be normal impatience that comes from being pretty convinced that the situation is going to end soon, but it hasn’t yet.
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I dreamed a lot today. I could only remember confused snippets, but I do recall dreaming. This and the head voices as I wake up tend to happen when a sub really starts to dig in and get traction.
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- For today’s mental exercises we have consistent replays of how people have treated me like crap in various types of relationships.
Lest you think that that’s a bad thing, I’m also seeing myself react to each thing in a calm, assertive, and emotionally mature way that would very likely have put a stop to it.
For instance, my father kind of dragged me into starting a business selling hobby items. We started by setting up a booth at shows. Dad was emotionally damaged and unable to handle the slightest amount of stress, so these shows were nothing but me being used as an emotional punching bag. It was hellish. Thing is, I could at any point simply have refused to do any more of them. I saw myself doing just that and there was real feeling behind it, like I was really doing it and it was going to stick.
Ditto with how I should have dealt with my last ex. When it became clear that she’d just moved out to get me to finance her childish lifestyle and she had no intent on contributing to a household, I could have told her to take a hike early.
There have been lots of these things today, and they feel pretty good.
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- It struck me when I walked into the house this morning. The place is a motherfucking disaster area. This is ridiculous I work 70-80 hours a week to keep the bills paid while I’ve got two adults at home. I know that they both have health issues. Still, between the two of them, they can do better than this.
I asked my wife to please do some cleaning today. I did use the word please, but there was something different about how I said it. It was a request that brooked no argument. She said she would.
When I got up, she’d made a considerable amount of progress on the kitchen. I was impressed.
Then I asked the roommate to clean up the area she sits and plays on her computer. A while ago I would have been worried about doing that. She doesn’t thanks well to anything remotely resembling criticism and can go off about it.
Today, no trepidation. I politely asked and she said sure.
Massive increase in assertiveness, and comfort in using it.
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When I got up I was very cognizant of how precarious our financial situation is. That lead me to feeling very frustrated and anxious. I focused it on the wife for a while. I’m aggravated about having to pull all of the weight even though its really not her fault she has MS. That lasted till I got to work.
I don’t know if that’s recon or if I’m just feeling naturally stressed. Oh well, I can’t feel on top of it all the time. -
Then there was a money manifestation. I found out through a kind of odd series of events that my mortgage company owes me a full month’s payment back. I’ll get that in the next few days.
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- I realized something. I suppose not for the first time, but I’ve been having a bit of recon all night. With DR that’s good. Necessary I think.
Right now, Im waiting on the wife’s disability to come through before life gets better. I’ve convinced myself that all I can do is sit here waiting for something that is well beyond my direct control while staving off disaster. There’s that dividing line in my mind between the rather miserable reality I’m in now, and the better life I’m convinced I’ll have when that one magical thing happens.
In this case, it may well be true that I have to keep grinding under sub optimal circumstances until something happens, but the thing I realized is that I’ve always done that about something.
I always put happiness and life improvement off to some point in the future, and that dividing line never really got there.
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I felt a lot more positive about things when I woke up this afternoon than I did yesterday. I was thinking about how the situation has been close to going off the rails so many times over the last few years. I was doing that yesterday too, but today my thoughts revolved around how I’ve always managed to find or I guess manifest a solution and keep it on the rails against all odds.
I appreciate that that makes me pretty awesome and I felt a calm confidence that I can keep it up as long as I need to. Good feeling. -
There is weirdness where that money manifestation I mentioned yesterday is concerned. My mortgage company has apparently lost the payment. I’m not sure how one loses an electronic payment, but they managed it. I’m not feeling too bad about it, I’m doing what is necessary to solve the problem and have faith that I will.
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- I just realized something, and I don’t know how long this has been the case.
I am a lot less self conscious than I used to be. I don’t mean that in the traditional sense of easily embarrassed though that is included in what I mean.
All of my life I have used a lot of my mental bandwidth kind of envisioning how I look from the outside. Sometimes this was bad and caused me to be embarrassed to be seen (though I doubt my vision was all that accurate) and sometimes I liked the image. It also covered what I wanted to look like (more than just physical looks) and how I wanted to be perceived as well as how I was afraid of being perceived. It wasn’t all I thought about, but I did give it a fair amount of mental energy.
I don’t do that anymore, or not in the way I used to. I do think about what I look like when choosing clothes for instance, which only makes sense.
Maybe a better way of putting it is that when I think of what I’m doing, or want to do, or what might happen, I’m thinking of it from my own perspective rather than an external one if that makes any sense.
I’m not sure what that means, but it feels healthy.
This has been happening for quite some time too and I only just now noticed.
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- I only have two weeks left in the first cycle of Stage four. After that there are only eight weeks left until the end of The Year of The Dragon Emperor.
This thing has done a hell of a lot for me even though it feels so normal now that I don’t always realize that how profound the changes have been.
I took a year out of driving hard for external goals because I recognized that I was too much in my own way to be pursuing them in the best manner for the fastest and highest success. I feel much better about my prospects going into 2022.
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- I continue to think of my plans and goals for next year, and rather than just endlessly tinkering with custom designs I think that I should start by actually writing down specifically what I want to accomplish by the end of 2022. Then I can come up with a subliminal plan to meet them. I’ve come up with four. They’re pretty big, but will be attainable with the improvements I’ve made on DE, specifically designed subliminal help, and consistent action.
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Have a household debt to income ratio that allows all bills and expenses to be paid easily with enough left over for some savings and some fun.
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Have started a career track job with a base salary of at least $20,000 more than my current job and that is rewarding enough that I will be content doing it for the rest of my career. It can be in my field or something new.
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Have moved into a home that better fits my family’s needs in an area where all involved will be happy living.
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(Note, I’m in an open marriage) Have slept with at least three new women and have a fun ongoing casual relationship with at least one of them that works well with my life circumstances.
That should keep me busy for the year, but I bet I can check all the boxes.
- As far as subliminals go, I have two possible plans. One is make it The Year of the Khan.
That would be to run a custom based on Khan with Limitless Executive and inner Circle the same way I am DE.
That is to say switch stages of Khan every twelve weeks but otherwise have the same custom all year.
The other is Year of The Sexcessful Emperor. That is to run one custom based on Emperor and Limitless Executive, and one based on Wanted, PS, and Diamond. I’d actually switch them off every week to avoid getting overloaded.
I’d like some input from anyone who has run Khan by the numbers for a long time. Is it likely to focus me on the sexual aspects to the detriment of the others, or does it create a strong success drive as well?
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**Stage 4 Cycle 1 Week 7**
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My wife has shown me a lot less anger and domineering behavior in the past I’m not sure how long. I think it’s been months. That has actually been improving gradually for a couple of years, but I realized today that it has hit a new level recently and the change was relatively quick.
Matter of fact she’s been much more respectful, and a couple of times today I she ran into something that might have set her off before and I saw that she was making the effort to control herself.
I think I have been making it clear where the boundaries are as far as how I’m going to be treated, and she’s starting to realize how good she has it. -
I’ve had a major theme in my thoughts lately, and I’ve had a hard time putting it into words.
That is my tendency to put life “on hold” until something happens. Lately it’s been until our financial conditions improve, and that is at least partly necessary. But, before that I was denying myself a lot of things out of life until I got that better job I wanted. And there were things before that.
I think that I was doing that at least partly because I thought I wasn’t worthy of having a fulfilling and enjoyable life unless I “earned it” by accomplishing this that or the other thing.
Making yourself earn rewards by accomplishing goals is a good thing, but it should be done in smaller stages. Not allowing yourself any joy until you’ve accomplished a major goal that is not under your direct control is taking it a bit far.
I mention this because I’ve mentally put a lot of things on hole to run DR and fix my internal issues this year, and I’m getting excited about pulling out all of the stops next.
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- Very irritating day. I’ve got two problems that should be easily solved. The disappearing payment to my mortgage company and the blown circuit breakers on the house (blown not tripped, I know how to reset them). I was unable to move either thing forward despite spending hours on the phone in the case of the missing money and finally getting an electrician out in the case of the breakers. The mortgage company needs an actual bank statement for proof of payment that I have to get from a bank branch and the electrician didn’t get the message from his boss with what parts he was going to need.
I am irritated, but I notice that it’s not causing nearly the stress aggravation and anger that it would have a year ago.
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I feel better today. The electric system got fixed so there’s at least some progress on things.
That actually makes me feel better even though the mortgage company is still giving me the maximum amount of ass pain about getting my money back. I may actually have to wait on my monthly bank statement because that’s the only form of “proof of payment” that they’ll accept. -
I have noticed that I’ve been feeling kind of depressed and like life is pointless a few hours after my loops with stage four. It always clears as I’m driving home. It’s not too horrible compared to how I would routinely feel in the past, and if always clears before it’s time to drive home.
I’m thinking that it’s a combination of mild recon and the fact that I have many hours where I don’t do much or interact with anyone every night. I think I’ll try shifting my listing time so that the recon hits while I’m sleeping.
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- I revisited my year of the khan idea. I think I’ve come up with something pretty badass. This should give me plenty of help to meet or exceed all of the goals I listed for next year.
I’m using Khan as a primary driver for the masculinity and the sexual goals, Diamond to make sure that I can fully enjoy the latter, and Ascended Mogul to help with the financial and career goals.
- Khan (12 weeks per stage)
- Ascended Mogul Core
- Diamond Core
- Wayfinder
- Mastermind
- Fortune’s Favorite
- Immortal’s Blade
- Organization Perfected
- Fusion Optimized
- The Lines
- The Boundary
- Iron Frame
- Eye of the Storm
- Alaxander’s Play
- Dragon Tongue
- Voice Master
- Seducer’s Gaze
- Sanguine
- Inner Gasoline
- Mosaic
This version is meant to go without URE. If I decide to go with that I can add quite a few modules.
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That’s 12 week per stage with one week washout before starting the next stage?
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Thats a bit long between washouts. I go with two six week cycles with a washout week between and another between stages.
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Sorry, that’s five weeks listening and one off per cycle.
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I was just now sitting here doing the math in my head: “That’s 56 weeks! WHAT?” lol
So:
Start year
5 weeks Stage 1
1 week washout
5 weeks Stage 1
1 week washout
another week washout before starting stage 2
repeat
?
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