I’m actually washing out from everything at the moment, because I made some tweaks to the sub I made myself for improving at my Uber Eats stuff and need to make sure that’s working as planned lol
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**Stage 4 Cycle 1 Week 2**
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In case you haven’t noticed I’ve had less of an urge to journal lately. I didn’t notice a whole lot of new stuff the last couple of weeks on stage three or the first on stage four.
I did pick up on the fact that my discipline has slipped a little bit. I took the last week off of working out because I didn’t feel really well. I’ve been having this weird stomach pain thing going on for a week or so. It’s not exactly nausea, sharper pain. It seems to have cleared up today so I’m back at it. -
For the first time since February I didn’t do my weekly tasks. I can almost excuse that because I haven’t had a day off work for the last four weeks. I was managing it on Saturdays because I only worked eight hours. This Saturday the roommate took us all out for dinner.
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The roommate got into contact with the agency that was garnishing her disability and they agreed to lower the amount from almost all of it to barely any, so she’ll be able to contribute to the household.
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I’m really not that surprised that I’m not feeling that much new on stage four. It seems like this is just putting the finishing touches on my DE experience.
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My wife actually spontaneously thanked me for being a good man today.
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I’ve been thinking about the two adults I have the most contact with. My wife and my roommate are both severely depressed. I think that the reason for that and the difference between them and me is that they have no hope.
I could easily have fallen into the same trap, but even before subs I never gave up hope.
This is illustrated by my employment search. No matter how many times I failed, I convinced myself over and over that the next one would be the one. I didn’t deal with it in a very healthy way, it was extremely painful and frustrating and downright hellish at times, but I never gave up hope.
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**Stage 4 Cycle 1 Week 3**
- I haven’t noticed a whole lot from Stage four so far, and I didn’t seem to get a whole lot out of the last part of Stage three either. I may not be getting enough exposure.
This week I’m going to try going back to the one loop five days a week pattern. That seems to be what worked best for me for Stage two wether I was on Qv1 or Qv2.
Yes, it caused a bit of reconciliation, but it seems to me if I’m not getting SOME recon I’m not getting any results either.
I’ll reassess after a week of this. The article did say that advanced users could go back to that pattern and I suppose I might be that.
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- Lately I’ve noticed that my discipline has been slipping a bit, and that my performance on my workouts has actually gone down.
I don’t know if the latter is sub related or not, but I’m quite sure that the former is. It just seems like the subs aren’t doing quite as much of what they were doing.
If I’m recalling correctly, the peak effects seem to have happened toward the end of Stage two when I was running Qv2 at one loop a day five days a week.
That once again speaks to underexposure.
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Did you read Saint’s quote about when you run a subliminal for awhile?
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I have. I’m doing this to see if it’s that or if the new listening pattern isn’t enough to give me ideal results. The worst thing that’s going to happen is I get a bit of recon.
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- This time last year, I’d be really eager to drop everything and try out Wanted in ZP. Not this year though. I may be feeling a bit subconsciously bored with the script, but I feel no real urge to deviate from my one year plan.
ZP sounds like it may be a major breakthrough, and that’s awesome, but if the tests work out, it’ll be waiting for me to build whatever I run for next year when I’m done with DE.
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The more you listen to the sub the more the goals of the script become accepted as your reality and seem normal. That means that you won’t feel much.
In my case, I’ve noticed an actual lessening of results that I’ve previously achieved not just not feeling what I was before. That’s why I suspect underexposure.
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- Almost all of this year I’ve felt a kind of lack of direction and ambition. The things that I’ve been very focused on making happen haven’t had such an urgency and I’ve really just been kind of living in the now and not had too much of a focus on where I want to go from here.
It hasn’t been bad, it’s not a hopeless feeling.
It’s good in a way in that I have taken this year out to fix things internally so that I can come out of the gate like gang buster next year.
I haven’t been thinking about next year that much though, I’m just going through this process.
I think that the lack of ambition is because my motivation was negative. I was trying to achieve things (I think I’ve covered this in more depth before) in order to escape bad feelings. IE I wanted to have the career I was going for in order to prove that I wasn’t the worthless, powerless failure that I feared I was. All of my actions seeking success, romance, everything, were aimed at running away from something not toward something.
Now that deep fear has been removed, I have to figure out what I want to run toward.
I got a little of that today. Just after I woke up, I felt very determined that next year I’m going to make one more hard run at getting an LE career going.
To that end, I’m going to be recording myself answering three interview questions every work night, and figuring out other things I can do to improve my performance in the process.
I really do want this, and I just have to pay the price to get it.
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I am definitely feeling better on the five day a week protocol than I was on the every other day setup. My positivity is at least back where it was, and I’m starting to feel a real drive toward my goals for next year. (Newbies: Don’t try this protocol first)
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Throughout today it’s really been solidifying in my mind that next year is going to be very dedicated to making the career I’ve always wanted happen.
Tonight I’ve been playing with ideas for a version of the Week A sub I’ve been thinking of that is very focused on succeeding at the type of hiring process I have to go through.
This version is designed to be run without URE, and I may or may not run a sexual/attraction custom as well.
It’s a full year plan, so there is probably room for both sets of goals.
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Ascended Mogul Core (maybe Emperor)
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Limitless Executive core (Cognitive ability for the tests and some of the interviews. The productivity and drive will be very good for getting on it, getting into the processes, doing my prep work ect.).
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Daredevil Core (improve social comfort and skills for interviews)
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Sacred Words
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Courage Reclaimed (To get rid of any “poor me I can’t do this because xxx happened to me attitude that survives DE)
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Fusion Optimized (I’ll need energy for this, lots of it)
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Organization Perfected (I’ll have to be keeping a lot of balls in the air, plus my house needs help)
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The lines (may help me spot the good opportunities)
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Way of ROI
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True Sell (I am after all selling myself)
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Dragon Tongue
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Ultimate Writer (Writing is often part of the process and damn sure is part of the job plus it should work with Sacred Words)
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Virtuoso di Mathmatica (math is part of most of the tests and not my strong suit)
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Voice Master (I speak kind of flatly)
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Furious Ascent
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Sanguine (kill any residual anxiety)
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Invincible Presence
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Mastermind
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Wayfinder
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Mosaic
This should really help me.
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- I feel really good today. My level of positive thinking, hope for the future, and optimism about my current situation continue to improve. I didn’t realize how much they’d sunk while I was listening less, but now that they’re back on their way up it’s very clear. It was still considerably better than my pre DE baseline.
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Still feeling good. Stage four agrees with me. I was thinking some things that I found very profound and positive when I got up, but several hours later I don’t remember exactly what they were.
They all pointed to an increasing sense that I have control over my own destiny.
That is something that I’ve always wanted to feel and have had a very hard time with all my life. Some kind of corner has been turned. -
I’m still playing around with ideas for URE 2. Since I was considering adding IC instead of leaving it core less, I am thinking of adding Minds Eye instead. It seems to me that that would actually be the one that would do the most to enhance every other title I’m running and help with every goal I could conceivably have in the future.
After all, the first step to getting anywhere is to be able to see yourself getting there.
Other than that, I am still trying to narrow it down to modules that will be useful with anything and that I’ll always need.
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I’ve been having some interesting mental stuff going on today.
For many years, when I get annoyed at someone I’d visualize myself committing some kind of minor violence toward them. It never crossed my mind to actually do it, so there’s nothing to worry about here.
For the first time today, I started being able to disrupt the thought pattern. It’s worked the same way with other negative mental patterns that are now pretty much gone. It starts and I just kind of say “nope, I don’t want to think like that” and it’s gone.
With other things that has been the beginning of me being able to control the pattern, and that is the beginning of it going away.
Now that I’m really thinking about it, the changes in my thinking patterns since I started DE are amazing. -
Money Manifestation. It turns out that after our contract got renegotiated last year my company wasn’t paying us something that they should have been for several months. They are only now getting around to making up for that. It happened by surprise and will be a considerable amount of money.
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- I continue to cancel out angry thought patterns as soon as they crop up. This has happened before with the “rage fantasies” about stuff that happened many years ago, and that phenomenon nearly never happens anymore. Now I’m able to do it with things (such as my wife and child whic are annoying me right now. This is actually making me a better person.
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**Stage 4 Cycle 1 Week 4**
- I called in sick for the first time in, like three years today. I’ve got some kind of stomach flu or something like that.
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I hope you feel better soon.
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- I skipped another night of work today, but I feel a lot better now. I feel a bit guilty and nervous over the money I skipped making even though I will still get my forty hours in this week. If it had just been feeling sick I’d have pushed through, but I wasn’t able to be away from the bathroom for more than half an hour, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
There is a lot of financial pressure still and while the subs are making me a lot better able to deal with it, it’s still there.
Waiting on the wife’s disability is like watching one of those swirling loading symbols on a program that you really need to start running immediately. It’s been like doing that for over a year and a half.
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